TRUE STORY -
Another day of Sexual Psychology 367 was drawing to an end as professor Summers was finishing his lecture notes and assigning the reading for the weekend. I couldn't help watch the bends in his country club slacks and the way the suit coat hugged his tight buttocks as he swayed at the podium. Professor Summers was in his early 50's, but was still as vibrant and energetic as a 25yo with a real passion for sexual psychology. His was the only class I never skipped.
I usually sat in the back as not to be noticed, and I tended to slump down in my chair to lay low and observe and not get called on to talk in front of a 150 person lecture. I was almost out of the lecture hall and was already thinking about track practice when I heard my name called by a familiar voice.
"Mr. Williams," touted Professor Summers. "Can you hang back just a minute? I need to talk to you about the essay you turned in on sexual orientation last week."
"Sure," I said hesitantly. "I have to get to the track for practice but I have a few minutes."
I walked up to the podium where Prof. Summers was packing his laptop away and asked what the issue was.
"Well," he said, "It looks as if your essay isn't here. I thought I grabbed it before class but it must still be in my office. Do you have time this evening after track practice to run over to my office so we can talk about it?"
"Um..." I said as I tried to figure out what could possibly be wrong with my essay. "I guess so."
"Great, that'll save me running back to campus later on. How does 5:30 in my office sound? That work for you?"
I thought for a second, "Sure that should work, but I gotta run, I will see ya then."
I turned around to walk to the bus stop and lit a cigarette wondering what was going on. Was he on to me? ...
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Track practice ran late and I had to run all the way to the quad to Mr. Summers' office since the buses had stopped running through campus. I got to the Psych building at 5:25 and ran in and up with 1 minute to spare, though at this point I was a sweaty mess.
"Mr. Williams, you made it! Good, go ahead and take a sea-."
He stopped mid-sentence as he saw me dripping sweat from head to toe. My running shorts and t-shirt were soaked through and pasted to my body.
"Here let me get you a towel." He reached into a cabinet and grabbed a beach towel out for me to sit on.
"Thanks Prof. Summers."
"No problem Ben." It was weird, growing up I HATED when people called me Ben, but for some reason the way Prof. Summers said my real name made me melt a little bit. It was so sensual. But I was still trying to catch my breath from track and was clearly out of it at the time.
"So about your essay Ben. I figure you don't participate in class a lot because you have a lot going on right now with track and school and I'm sure the girls are all over you. But I couldn't help but notice that your essay bears a striking resemblance to another essay I found on Google. So before we start talking about your essay further, is there anything you'd like to tell me?"
I completely froze up in terror. I was busted, and was about to fail and not one word popped into my head. I was as shocked by what I said as he apparently was.
"I don't know Prof. Summers...I guess I just freaked out over the topic because if i'm really honest about it I think I may be interested in both women AND men...and I.."
I started sobbing as I imagined getting kicked out of school and telling my folks why etc. But none of that happened. He just sat there and looked at my essay, then back at me, then back at the essay...
"Well I have an idea," he said, "and you may or may not like it, but it WOULD be an alternative to expulsion. The point of the whole excercise was self-discovery Ben. And I think if you have these feelings about men, it would be unhealthy NOT to explore them and find out what they mean. If you sit and talk with me honestly about this, then we may be able to consider this your make-up essay."
"Ok," I said immediately. Though I did not yet fully grasp what he intended.
"What types of thoughts do you have about men Ben? Are they romantic thoughts? Strictly sexual? What do you imagine when you think about it?"