Ethan's eyes fluttered open, and he was met with a wall of wall of white hair. Two round ears poked up out of the tussled patch of hair. Ethan smiled and kissed the back of Carey's head, making his ears twitch. He laughed, waking the smaller man. Carey turned around and stretched, yawning.
"Morning," Ethan mumbled.
"Good morning," Carey replied, voice laced with sleep. His tail was twisted between them, and they were both lying on it. He winced as he pulled it out from under Ethan's thighs and threw it behind him carelessly.
"What's it feel like having a tail?" Ethan asked.
"I don't know. It's not that weird. You get used to it." Carey shrugged. Ethan chuckled, and reached a hand up to stroke Carey's round ears. He smiled. "That feels good," he murmured. Ethan smiled and leaned forward, kissing Carey's soft lips. Carey blinked and smiled, before kissing Ethan back. "That felt good, too," he blushed. Ethan smiled.
"Our first kiss, huh? I kind of like it," he kissed him again. Carey smiled and playfully pushed him away.
"All this before breakfast?" Carey laughed.
"Speaking of which, what do you want for breakfast?" Ethan asked, continuing to rub his ears.
"Mmmm? Food?" he said, incoherently.
"Yes. Food. Sustenance. Things you need to fuel your body." Ethan laughed, stretching his hands above his head.
"Sorry, I don't think well when my ears are touched," Carey laughed. He sighed and looked at the clock. "It's early, we have time to go out if you want?" Carey asked, nervously.
"That could be fun," Ethan said, before frowning. "Except for this whole deal." He pulled out his pockets, showing the very obvious lack of money. Carey reached over to the bedside table and grabbed his wallet. He opened the leather object and sighed.
"I got a five. Breakfast at McDonalds?" he laughed. Ethan smiled.
"Why don't we see what I can whip up here?" he said, reaching a hand out to touch Carey under the warm blankets.
"Sounds good." He smiled, and reached a hand up to stroke Ethan's cheek. Ethan blinked, and roughly slapped Carey's hand away. Carey frowned and put his ears back sadly.
"Sounds good," Ethan mumbled and crawled out of the bed. Carey followed him slowly, frowning at the sudden, but brief, burst of anger.
"You promised to talk to me," Carey said. Ethan paused as he looked through the fridge, sighing.
"Yeah. I did, and I will. Just... can we talk about this after breakfast?" He held up a half empty carton of eggs. Carey sat down silently. Ethan began making omelets, cutting up mushrooms, bell peppers, grating cheese, all in silence. Carey fumbled with the silverware in front of him.
"Where did you learn to cook?" Carey asked, nonchalantly.
"I was on my own a lot when I was growing up. And unlike most teenage boys, I'm a picky eater. So I learned how to make good food," Ethan laughed.
"Alone a lot? Where were your parents?" Carey asked, trying to seem innocent. Ethan obviously saw through him and rolled his eyes with a sigh.
"They were around. They had me when they were young and I think they always considered me a mistake. I never really cared for them either. I spent most of my time with my best friend," Ethan admitted, starting the fire for the hash browns he was making from a few potatoes he found.
"Who was that?" Carey asked.
"This guy named Mike. We were friends for a long time," he said, stirring the potatoes in the large pan.
"Were?" Carey frowned.
"Yeah... 'were'," Ethan mumbled, bitterly. "When we were in our last year of high school, this infected guy moved into town," Ethan started. "Alex." He got lost in space for a moment before he was brought back to reality when Carey cleared his throat. "I hated him. A lot. Mike fell in love with the guy," Ethan explained. "They were serious and he dropped me as a friend when I couldn't deal."
"That must have been hard," Carey said, sadly.
"I don't blame him for it. I was a jerk. I was so mean to Alex." Ethan looked sad. "This dickwad Randal was just a stupid bigot. I hated Alex, I won't lie about that. But Randal... he..." Ethan scowled down at the food. "He was just evil."
"What happened?" Carey asked, trying to keep Ethan talking.
"We kicked his ass. I'm not proud about it. But I was part of his torture. He left school, moved in with Mike. I just wanted to leave it alone. I was depressed and didn't have a friend anymore. Things were shit at home and I just wanted to forget about all of that crap. But Randal wasn't finished. He wanted more blood. He shot him," Ethan said the last part in a whisper. Carey looked shocked. "He died and Mike was just ruined. I felt so bad. He blamed me and he had every right to. I've never felt so bad about anything in my life," Ethan said.
"Maybe that's it. You feel so guilty you just lash out at any infected in sight," Carey guessed.
"The story doesn't end there. I apologized to Mike and he rejected me, again and again. But not long after that I really tried to figure out who I was. I experimented a little and realized I was gay. I chalked up all my horrible violence toward Alex as jealousy. I just charged back into Mike's life. He had found a new lover, Anthony. Really nice guy, another infected," Ethan said. "I fell in love with a friend of his, Chris. He had a thing for Mike but never acted on it because they were such good friends. I was doing so well, I didn't like Anthony by any means, but I dealt with him. Then, I just snapped one night and kicked the crap out of him. Chris left me, kicked me out of our place. I was wandering around, so angry at him and Anthony and Mike. I lashed out at the first infected I saw. This little ram hybrid. He was so small, he couldn't even put up a fight," Ethan finshed. He set the plates of hot food down and sat across from Carey.
"Have you ever thought about finding the people you hurt? Apologizing? It might help," Carey suggested.
"Alex is dead," Ethan reminded him.
"But Anthony and the guy after that aren't. Right? Where is Anthony?" Carey asked.
"I don't know. Probably still with Mike at the school," Ethan shrugged.
"Okay, and the Ram?" he asked.
"I don't know. Last I heard he was in bad shape, still in the hospital. But that was like three weeks ago."
"Here," Carey said. Ethan had been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed Carey grab the small laptop from the living room. "This is from last week. It says he's still in the hospital and doctors think he'll be there for a few more weeks. Lets go," Carey stood up.
"What? I just made breakfast."
"We'll take it to go," Carey piled the omelets and potatoes on to two paper plates, and headed for the door.
"Jeez, since when were you so eager to go outside," Ethan asked, pulling on his shoes as fast as he could.
"Since it would help you," Carey winked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Carey... I don't think this is a good idea," Ethan mumbled, as they walked up to the front desk. Carey clung to his arm, shaking a little from being outside. Ethan could tell he was nervous and was trying hard not to show it.
"You would be surprised how much facing your fears help. You're scared of how guilty you feel about what you did. This will help. I promise." Carey smiled. Ethan nodded. He needed to learn to trust Carey if this was going to work. Carey spoke with the nurse, who gave Ethan a funny look while they talked. He tried to look around innocently, not drawing any attention to himself. "Come on," Carey smiled.
"She actually let me in?" Ethan frowned.
"I was just honest with her, I told her who you were, and that you wanted to apologize." Carey shrugged. "People are more caring than you give them credit for," Carey said.
"Yeah. I guess they're not all as bad as me," Ethan whispered to himself. The door was open to the hospital room when they arrived. Carey knocked on the door frame softly.
"Marcus?" he whispered. Ethan raised an eyebrow. He had never even known the kids name. The young hybrid resting in the bed turned his gaze to Carey, eyes ringed with black circles, the true sign of an insomniac. "My name is Carey," he spoke in a soft voice. He stepped into the room and approached the bed carefully. "You don't know me, but you know him." Carey stepped aside so Marcus could see Ethan. His eyes went wide and he opened his mouth with a terrified bleet. He squirmed in the bed, as if trying to move as far away from Ethan as possible. Ethan swallowed and felt tears brimming his eyes. He had made this poor boy so afraid. How could he make him so afraid? "No, no, no. Marcus, it's okay!" Carey said, trying to calm him down. "He's here to apologize. He just wants to say how sorry he is," Carey explained quickly. Marcus froze and looked back and forth between the two men in front of him.
"Marcus? Uh... my name's Ethan," Ethan mumbled, not knowing what else to say.
"L-like I g-give a f-f-fuck," Marcus stuttered out, visibly shaking. Ethan felt the bite of his words and tried to shake off the swear.
"I'm sorry for what I did to you, Marcus. I really am. I was just so angry and I took it out on you. You didn't deserve that," Ethan said. He looked over to Carey, who nodded his head in reassurance. "I know that you probably won't forgive me. But I wanted to apologize. Just so you would know that I do feel sorry about what I did." Ethan looked down at his feet. Marcus refused to look at Ethan, and said nothing.
"Thank you for your time, Marcus," Carey said quietly. "We'll let you get some rest." Carey gently led Ethan out of the room.
"You're a monster," Marcus said quietly, just loud enough for them to hear as they stepped out.
~~~~~~~~~
"Yeah, that didn't really make me feel better," Ethan mumbled.
"I know it's hard. But you'll feel better later. Just remember that you did your part, now it's up to Marcus. You did all you could," Carey said.
"Where are we going?" Ethan asked, realizing they weren't headed home.
"To face your other demons," Carey replied. Ethan saw the dorms a block away.
"Oh no, no, no, no. No way am I going back there," Ethan stopped.
"Ethan. This is important," Carey said sternly. "You said it yourself, Mike is a good guy. I think he'll see that you're trying to get help."
"It's not just Mike. I'll have to face Tony, and Chris..." he said that last with even more hesitation. Carey swallowed.
"Do you still have feelings for Chris?" he asked, asking more as a psychiatrist than a lover. Ethan looked at him.
"The feelings I have for him are nothing compared to what I feel for you." Ethan wrapped his arms around Carey, making him smile and fold his ears back. "Lets get this over with," he rolled his eyes. Holding hands with Ethan, they stepped into the dorms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
