Now Starring

A bit after 7am David woke and kissing me lightly on the forehead got out of bed and went to take a shower.

I pulled my clothes on and went out to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and a spot of breakfast. I was not surprised to find his cupboards and refrigerator were fairly empty but managed to find the makings for buttered toast. David came out of the bedroom, his hair still damp, wrapped in a robe and nothing else. I gestured for him to take a seat at the small dining table and put a plate of toast in front of him and poured him coffee.

"My, isn't this domestic?" he laughed.

"If you had more than a mouse's worth of food in the house I would have made you something more elaborate," I smiled back, "I am an expert omelette maker."

I waited until he had finished a piece of toast and his coffee, and watched him pour another cup before I continued, "I have been giving us a lot of thought. And I think maybe it's time we moved this to a new level."

He arched his eyebrow over his cup, but said nothing.

"I had a talk with an ex and I was told that my jealousy and possessiveness can be a bit overwhelming and I can see why you have been so reluctant to trust me," I took a deep breath, "and anyway, I think we might benefit from couple's therapy."

David set his cup down, and ran his hands through his hair, "we are many things, John, but I don't think we're really a couple."

I don't know what I expected him to say but that was definitely not it.

"I have to get going," he drained his coffee and stood up, "I am due at the studio in a bit." With that he went into his room to get dressed.

I followed him in, "if we aren't a couple, then what are we?"

"I don't know exactly. But the only time you and I aren't fighting is when we're fucking, that doesn't fit my definition of a couple," he pulled on a pair of jeans then sat on the edge of the bed to put on his socks.

"I'll grant you that," I sat down next to him on the bed, "but that's why I think we need counselling. I think we can be more than just lovers."

"Do you?" He laced up his shoes and stood up.

"You don't?"

He chose a shirt from his closet, and slipped his arms into the sleeves, but stopped before buttoning it, choosing his words carefully, "I meant what I said last night, if we can get past the bullshit we would stand a chance. But history has shown we can't, or haven't yet. I don't know which."

I was at a loss for words, as he bent to button his shirt and slipped on a jacket. It was when he turned to leave the room I finally found my voice, "David, I know I haven't been able to make you happy lately. But I really want to try to change that. I want this to be more than just sex, I want a future with you."

He stopped and turned back to me, a wistful smile on his face, "that would be something."

I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist, "I'm willing to get professional help to keep me from screwing this up but I need to know if you are willing to stay with me for the long haul."

Before he could answer his mobile rang, and he stepped into the other room to take the call. A few minutes later he came back into the room, "they called off filming today, they have no power due to a blown transformer."

I smiled, "and now you have a free day?"

"It would appear so," David smiled back, "so...would you like to spend the day together?"

I nodded and pulling him close to me began to kiss his neck.

David chuckled deep in his throat, "I was just going to ask what you wanted to do..."

I laughed and slipped his arms out of his jacket, then started to slowly unbutton his shirt, kissing my way down his chest as each one opened the fabric further. When I got to his stomach he took a shuddering breath and leaned against the wall to steady himself.

I started to undo his belt but he pushed me back from him and took me by the chin bringing me to my feet. Once I was upright he laced his fingers into my hair and kissed me hard. Then he took my lower lip in his teeth and bit down gently, but enough to make the feeling on his sharp teeth on my sensitive skin send sparks throughout my body.

Pushing against the wall David lifted up, wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck. I put my hands on his ass and pulling him in tight, I angled myself so my erection rubbed against the inside of his leg, teasing him by nearly making contact with his cock but stopping short.

After a bit of this I slid my hands up to the small of his back and carried him to the bed. Trying not to notice how light he felt in my arms, but even in my arousal it occurred to me he was losing weight again.

I slipped his shirt off and in the light of day could easily see his ribs and collar bone in sharp relief, I covered my gasp of dismay with a quick kiss to his chest, determined not to break the mood.

As I reached for his belt I realised he had gone totally quiet. I glanced up at his face; he was watching me with a completely unreadable expression. Then he sat up and wrapping his long arms around me pulled me down to lay on top of him, his nails digging into my shoulders as he locked his lips on mine. I held as much of my weight off of his as I could, afraid in his fragile state I would break him.

David slid his hands down my back and reaching inside my jeans lightly raked his fingers along my ass making me grow even harder as he slipped two of his long fingers into me slowly. I moaned against his mouth, as he wrapped his legs around mine, and ground his hips into me and moved his fingers in and out of me at the same time.

I was too close to climaxing before I even got undressed, so I rolled off of him, disengaging us and quickly peeled off my clothes, then with a tug I pulled David's jeans down and off of him, and reaching into the bed stand grabbed the lube, slathered some on and with a growl threw myself on top of him nipping at the tender flesh of his neck where it met the shoulder. I lifted his hips off the bed, and rising to my feet, pulled his ass to me and drove myself into him.

David arched his back, grabbing the sheets at my entry; I pulled almost all the way out, just the head still inside him and then rushed back in. I lifted him further off the bed, until he was almost bent backwards, his legs thrown over my shoulders; my hands clutched his hips hard as picked up my pace.

I could feel my orgasm building but I didn't want to come just yet so without disengaging us I moved him to laying face down on the edge of the bed, half kneeling behind him, I reached around and took him into my spit moistened hand and pumped him in time with my thrusts. He bit down on the sheets as he came with a sharp breath and a sound that made the hairs on the back of my neck bristle. It almost sounded like he was in pain, but he made no move to stop me as I bucked into him harder with each frenzied thrust and soon emptied myself into him.

As soon as I was able to catch my breath I slid out of him and rolled over onto my back on the edge of the bed next to him. After a bit, David shifted to where he was completely on the bed, and moved to lie on his side facing towards me his eyes closed and his breathing still very fast. I sat up and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, and then gathered him in my arms laid down on my back draping him across my chest.

"What do you want to do the rest of the day?" he finally asked, still sounding out of breath.

"More of this of course," I laughed, "but first, you probably burned through that one little slice of toast already. We need to get you fed, good and proper."

David lifted his head off my chest to gaze into my eyes, "please don't start on my weight again."

"I can't help but be concerned, but no nagging if you promise me you'll eat a real lunch."

"And if I don't?"

"This isn't funny," I met his gaze steadily, "you are wasting away again. That worries me."

He laughed and kissed my nose playfully, "thanks mom, but I am fine, I never have been good at keeping weight on. And your athletics aren't helping that cause."

"I'm serious..." I insisted.

"I noticed," he countered, "but I'm not willing to discuss this right now. So either you drop the subject and lighten up or I'll kick your ass out of my bed, and find a different way to spend my day."

I stared at him for a bit, trying to gauge how serious he was, he had a smile on his face but the smiled stopped before it hit his eyes, "OK but I would still like to take you out for lunch unless your cupboards suddenly got stocked."

"I'm comfortable where I am," he sighed laying his head back down on my chest, "maybe later."

I considered continuing the conversation and I think David sensed that because he moved to where he was straddling me and kissed a line down my chest, stopping above my stomach. Then he raised his head and grinned at me, "have you recovered yet?' he teased.

"You can't be serious," I groaned, and then laughed, "I'm an old man, I need to rest up a bit more."

He sat back, "I never asked, how old are you?" "A gentleman never asks that question," I joked.

David smiled widely, "I would think by now you'd have guessed that I'm no gentleman."

"I'm 43," I admitted.

"Old man!" David snickered, "that still doesn't get you off the hook."

With that he slid his hands down and took me into his grip, then he kissed his way back up to my neck, alternating licking my skin with little nips that sent shivers down my spine, all the while slowly pumping me with one hand. I was surprised to grow hard again so quickly but he seemed to have a magic touch.

He sat back, my cock still firmly in his hand, angled it and with a smile, lowered himself unto me. As he sunk all the way down he closed his eyes and leaned back, putting his hands on my knees. He stayed in the position, not moving until I pulled him forward, and locking my lips on his began to slowly thrust in and out of him. After a few minutes I pulled out and lifted him to move him onto his back. I knelt in front of him and re-entered him in one thrust. This time I was going slow and easy, not in a rush to finish. I kept up a steady pace while running my fingers through his hair and kissing him gently. This pace made him writhe beneath me his body tensing up with each thrust, I could tell he was eager to find release but I wasn't ready to grant him that yet. When I slowed down even more, he tightened his jaw so hard I thought he would break his teeth.

Finally he opened his eyes and in a move that took me totally by surprise grabbed me by the hair twisting it painfully, while his other hand scratched my back sending pin pricks of pain down my spine then biting me hard enough on the shoulder to draw blood.

The pain made my vision go black and held him down and driving myself into him so hard that he closed his eyes again and made a soft keening sound with each thrust home.

My orgasm hit me so hard I literally couldn't breathe for a moment, then when I could I realised he was totally still beneath me.

I rolled off of him in horror, for his part David just opened his eyes and despite the pain I could see in them, smiled at me.

"Why did you do that?" I demanded, trying hard to understand.

"I felt like it," is all he said before sitting up with a slight wince and heading into the bathroom, "I'm going to take a quick shower, then we can go to lunch if you're still interested."

I waited a bit and decided to join him in the shower; I pulled the curtain aside and stepped into the hot spray with him, "were you trying to get me to hurt you?" I asked taking the soap off the caddy and lathering myself up.

"Yes," he answered, his eyes shut under the spray and his voice calm.

"Why?"

He chuckled, "it seemed like a good idea at the time. I'm sure I'll regret it later."

I stopped and just stared at him for a moment, "sometimes you scare me." I finally admitted.

"I know," he took the soap from me and gestured for me to turn around. As he lathered up my back I tried to concentrate on his gentle touch but my mind refused to be still.

Later at the restaurant I was still trying to work it all out, David seemed to be off in his own world, barely looking at me until after we were finished eating. Or I should say after I finished and he had picked apart his food and moved it around the plate until the waiter decided he was done.

"Did you put any of that into your mouth?" I gestured at the spot his plate used to be.

"I told you I wasn't hungry before we even got here," he replied.

"Please, if not for your own sake, for mine, eat something."

He gestured in the direction of the kitchen, "I don't have anything, he took my plate."

I handed him the menu, the waiter returned a bit later, and David ordered a piece of chocolate cake and some coffee.

He finished half the piece before putting his fork down, "if I finish that I'll be in a sugar coma the rest of the afternoon."

"Give it a shot," I urged, happy to see him eating anything, even if it was not the healthiest choice, at least it was something.

True to his word on the taxi ride to my place David had a hard time keeping his eyes open, the cake having a sedative effect on him. I had to half carry him into my flat and led him to the sofa where he promptly dozed off.

I grabbed a throw from the closet and threw it over him, after slipping off his shoes. I kicked off my shoes and sliding him over a bit, got under the blanket with him. He shifted to holding me in his arms, a smile crossed his face and he sighed. In his sleep he looked like a little boy of twelve or maybe thirteen years of age. The freckles that dotted his face added to that impression, I felt a strong paternal urge to protect him and held him tightly to me. I wished I could get inside his wall and find out what kept him from letting me in, and at the same time I suddenly felt very old, very tired and totally out of my league.

When I woke sometime later, the flat was dark and I was alone on the sofa. The light was on down the hall and I found David lying in the tub, eyes closed surrounded by hot sudsy water.

He heard me come in and opened his eyes, "hope you don't mind" he gestured at the tub, "I saw it was a Jacuzzi and couldn't resist."

I sat on the edge of the tub and scooped up a handful of the bubbles and blew them at him, "someone should use it, I am not really into baths, and so it goes to waste."

"If I had this at home," he sighed, "I'd never get out."

"Do you ever get worried about our age difference?" I asked him.

He frowned at me, "what brings this up?" "Well, to be honest you are so energetic, and ready to go at a moment's notice and sometimes that makes me feel like an old man." I admitted.

"You're not that old," he replied, still frowning. "You're eight years younger than I am, you are still in your prime, and I'm over the hill."

"Can't you just be happy?" he countered, "why can't you just let yourself enjoy our time together? Why do you have to analyse and pick it apart and cause yourself grief?"

"I'm afraid of losing you," I admitted, not trusting myself to look into his eyes.

He sat up and took my hand and placed it on his cheek, cradling his face in my palm, "I'm here, now. Isn't that enough?"

"I wish it was but I want more, " I stroked his cheek, and leaned in for a tender kiss.

He lay back against the tub enclosure and regarded me in silence for a bit, "how much more?" he finally asked.

"I want you, for my own, forever."

He closed his eyes, and shook his head, "that is never going to happen."

"I know," I stood up, "but that's what I want." With that I walked out of the bathroom and sat down in the dark of the front room, I closed my eyes and willed myself to be calm.

A few minutes later David came out and sat opposite me, he was silent for a bit, "you're serious aren't you?"

"Yes I am," I replied opening my eyes to gaze into his.

He sighed and stared at his hands, "I don't really know what to say."

"I don't expect an answer from you now, I do want you to consider it, and keep it in the back of your mind."

He leaned back against the chair, "OK. But I guess this isn't the best time to tell you this, but I got that role I auditioned for. It's being shot in the States. I will be gone for three months after we wrap up shooting the series."

"Three months?" I stood up, "when were you going to tell me this?"

"To be fair I just found out yesterday. When was I supposed to tell you? We rarely just talk, should I have interrupted you in mid stroke and told you?"

I got closer to him, "so you're going to leave again."

"I can't turn it down. It's a really good role and the chance to be in a Hollywood film? Would you?" He answered his voice soft.

"Mollie was right about you."

He frowned up at me, "meaning?"

I took a step back, and laughed humourlessly, "she said all you cared about was yourself and your career."

"That's not true," David countered.

"It is. I think you should go now," I walked to the door holding it open for him, not looking into his eyes as he stared at me his mouth slightly open.

After a few seconds he rose and slipped on his jacket, and left the flat without a word. He stopped in the hallway, "when you're ready to talk, call me."

"Don't hold your breath," I sneered, and slammed the door just inches from his face.

I closed my eyes and leaned against the door, in my mind I could hear Mollie laughing and I could see the hurt in David's eyes, but I felt nothing.