Now Starring

To Tisha, my muse, with love

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Despite not sleeping and my panic to call him, I waited until a decent hour to call David. He didn't pick up his phone, which made me very antsy, I flashed back to my vision from the night before, slightly revised to having him spending the night at Elissa's instead of his own place.

I knew he was due at the studio that morning, I reminded myself, maybe he was already there and I just caught him at a time when he couldn't take my call. I quickly got ready and headed over there.

I walked into the set to see Mollie in a heated argument with Phil, but David was nowhere to be seen. I got the attention of one of the assistants and she said David was either in his trailer or off at the commissary having shot a few scenes already and was on a break.

I caught up with him at the commissary, he was reading a book and drinking a cup of coffee totally lost in his own world. I watched him for a moment and couldn't help but smile at the way a lot of the women, and to my dismay, some men were checking him out and he seemed completely oblivious to all the attention he was getting. I grabbed a cup of tea and took a seat opposite him.

"How was your night?" I finally asked.

"Oh, hi!" he replied, putting the book down and looking a bit startled by my presence, "I didn't expect to see you here."

"What are you reading?" I turned the book around and read the title, "I've never heard of that one."

"I have an audition for the lead role, they're making it into a movie," he explained, "Phil recommended me for it."

"How was your night?" I repeated trying to get back to my original topic.

"It was OK," he replied, taking a sip of his coffee, "how was yours?"

"Odd," I admitted, "I had a sort of weird vision after I got home..."

David looked at me, his left eyebrow cocked, "if you start speaking in tongues next I'm leaving!" he joked.

"Did you get that wild night Elissa promised?" I blurted out.

"Well that was subtle," David sat back with a laugh. He took a moment to compose himself, "do you really want to know the intimate details? Or would a summary work?"

"This isn't funny," I chided.

"Actually it is," he replied, "you talked a good talk about giving me freedom to date women yet here you are quizzing me about it. I told you I didn't think this would work for you, and now I have proof."

He stood up to leave, but I caught up with him, "does that mean you are not going to tell me?"

"That's precisely what that means," he rolled his eyes at me as I grabbed his arm stopping his progress, "John, this is not the place or the time to make a scene. Now just drop it."

He twisted out of my grasp and left the commissary. I was about to do the same when Mollie came in. I could see by her expression that she was feeling sheepish about her tantrum the night before and when she smiled at me beguilingly I knew she wanted to talk. I sighed but followed her back to the table.

We sat down and she leaned in, "I saw that little tiff with David just now. You two having trouble?"

I nodded, "I don't know Mollie, I can't get a good read on him lately. I feel like I am watching him from the opposite shore most of the time."

Mollie shook her head, "I overheard Phil this morning talking to him. They're grooming him to be a movie star, there's even talk that a Hollywood bigwig is coming to watch him today. I think you're out of your league, John. You're strictly small stuff, no offense, and totally the wrong gender for his public image."

"Do you think he really loves you?" she continued.

"I think he does," I replied, wishing I sounded more positive.

"How much time do you two spend together outside of the bedroom?" she continued, "Because if you can't enjoy each other's company while fully clothed, it's not love it's lust. And let's face it, he can pretty much choose anyone to shag if he pleases, so unless you have some secret sexual technique that no one else has, this isn't going to last."

"Why are you so concerned about me all of a sudden?" shot back, her words hitting me hard because of how close to the truth they were.

"We don't always get on John, but I really hate to see you getting used by this guy, especially as he will just leave you behind when something better comes along."

"You don't know that," I protested.

Mollie smiled a half smile, "but I do. You know he worked on a few films before becoming our saviour right? Well a friend of mine, Karen, was on a film with him and while they were working together she and David were a couple. She fell for him hard, and thought it was the real thing. But the minute the filming was done, he dropped her like a hot potato, just like that." She snapped her fingers for emphasis.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"I wanted to believe this would work out for you, but I am able to step back and see the real picture when you can't because you are in too deep." With that she stood up, "he's going to leave you John. I'm not saying don't have fun but guard your heart, because it's about to be broken."

After the day's filming I caught up with David as he was leaving his trailer, "Hey you want to go grab a drink or a bite to eat?" he asked. He seemed really bouncy, a bit hyped up and happy to see me, but Mollie's words kept spinning around in my head.

Before I could stop myself I asked, "are you planning on dumping me the minute someone better comes along?"

David's smiled faded and he reeled back like I had struck him. He stared at me like I had suddenly grown a second head.

I took advantage of his guard being down to press my point further, "Mollie told me about her friend Karen, how you two were hot and heavy then you just dropped her."

David took a deep breath, "why is it you're so quick to believe the worst about me?"

"Well, is it true?"

He looked at me his face totally still but his eyes gave him away, they were far too expressive for his own good, "and you think that's where this is all headed. Is that it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

I nodded but remained silent.

"If that's what you want. Then you shall receive," David leaned in close and through gritted teeth he hissed, "You are a good fuck John but you are not worth the drama that comes with it."

It took me a second to recover enough to realise what he had just said, the violence in his tone was shocking enough but the words sounded so out of place coming from his mouth. For his part David just met my gaze coolly, his fists clenched at his sides and his back rigid. Then he stepped back and in a conversational tone asked, "does that work for you? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

When it became apparent I was not going to respond to him in a timely manner his tone shifted and he smiled at me, a smile that didn't reach his eyes at all, gave a slight bow and said "give the people what they want" then turned on his heel to walk away from me.

His bow released me from my paralysis and I ran after him stepping right in front of him to block his path, "did you mean what you just said?"

"Does it really matter?" he asked his voice weary, "it's obvious you've made up your mind about me, and I have had enough of trying to prove myself to you."

I felt like my heart had been removed with a rusty spoon and my head split in two, "are you dumping me?"

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Of course it isn't!" I yelled louder than I really meant to be, just inches from his face.

"Sure seems that way to me," David ran his hands through his hair and sighed, "it's been a long day John. You are in an impossible mood and I'm just not up to dealing with you. I am honestly just tired of this constant battle with you. I am sorry you fell in love with me; sorry I thought I loved you too; obviously I don't if you are to be believed. And if I haven't been able to make you happy then I'm sorry for that too. I am just generally sorry. Can I just go now, please?"

"No, you and I need to talk. Now. You can't keep running away when it gets too heavy."

"It would seem there's nothing to talk about. You seem to think I'm not trustworthy; I have some hidden agenda and will dump you the minute something bigger or better comes along. I think that says it all." Then he stopped for a moment puzzled, "unless all I'm good for is sex then I can't see why you want to talk to me."

"Do you really think that's all I want from you?"

"I'm beginning to think it is," he replied, his voice slightly wavering and his eyes wide, "I think I finally understand, all you want is a lover who does what you want, when you want and where you want. If bestiality weren't illegal I'd advise you to buy a dog, because I'm not your pet and I'm not just a piece of ass, I have feelings too, and you have stomped the last bit of the good ones that I had towards you to death."

"So this is it."

"I guess so. 'This is the way the world ends: Not with a bang but a whimper.' I have to go John, the good times were great but the rest..." David was silent for a moment, his face still unreadable but I could see tears welling up in his eyes, "the rest just sucked."

That night I didn't even try to go to bed, I kept seeing David walking away from me leaving me standing on the sidewalk watching him until he disappeared out of sight. I called one of my exes and asked to meet him for a drink. Nigel and I had not parted on good terms but we had a sort of uneasy truce because of mutual friends.

When he arrived at the pub he looked a bit puzzled to be summoned but ready to listen. After a bit of chitchat I dove right in, "when we broke up was it because of me?"

Nigel tapped his fingers on the beer mug, clearly weighing his words, "You got massively possessive and jealous of any guy I talked to. Do you remember punching out Stan for giving me a hug at Christmas that one party?"

"Vaguely," I admitted.

"What's with the ghosts of relationships past scene? You got man troubles?" Nigel continued.

"I think I may have just blown the best thing I've ever had."

"Oh man," Nigel chuckled, "so instead of making up to your lover you called me? When did I become Dear Abby?"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Tell me about your man," Nigel prodded, "I'm having a dry spell."

I told him everything about David that I felt I could without giving his name or where I knew him from, Nigel listened in silence occasionally taking a drink from his beer, but he let me go on until I ran out of breath.

"Sounds like a hell of a guy.... OK Auntie Abby here recommends you get your still-too-attractive-ass off the bar stool, get your most charming smile on, buy your man some flowers and get yourself over there, be sweet, maybe knock his socks off with your amazing bedroom skills and then promise to get some counseling" he took a handful of nuts and popped them into his mouth, chewing them noisily, then lifted his glass "but before you go, I need a refill."

I stopped at the all night shop and picked up the least dead looking bouquet of flowers I could find and headed over to David's flat. As I pressed the buzzer I glanced at my watch, 1am, well that can't be helped, I thought.

When I got no answer I started randomly pressing buttons until someone buzzed me in, then I made my way up to David's flat. I pounded on the door but got no response. Maybe he isn't home I thought but putting my ear to the door I could hear some music coming from within. I tried the doorknob but it was locked.

I got close to the spy hole and looked in, I could see lights burning in the flat but still no answer as I knocked on the door. Something was nagging at me, making me feel uneasy. I looked for an extra key in all the usual hiding places, but came up empty. After a bit I remembered the old credit card trick, pulled one out of my wallet and stuck it into the door jam wiggling it around until I heard a click, and I was in!

I didn't see David in any of the first few rooms so I walked down the hall to his bedroom; he was on the bed, fully clothed but dead to the world. I sat down on the bed next to him and still he didn't wake. I gently shook him by the shoulders, and he didn't move. I leaned down and felt his skin; he felt damp to the touch and was breathing really slowly. I glanced at the bed stand and saw that there was a bottle of sleeping pills and half empty flask of whiskey sitting there.

I pulled him into a sitting position and carried him into the bathroom and aimed him over the toilet, then opened his mouth and stuck two fingers into his throat; he didn't even flinch let alone gag. I sat back in frustration holding him against me, I was just about to dial 999 when David opened his eyes and regarded me quizzically.

"Either I'm having a really odd but vivid dream," he slurred gazing at me with his eyes barely in focus, "or...."

He tried to pull away from me and stand but couldn't get his feet underneath him properly and it was only my holding onto him that saved him from crashing to the floor.

"How many pills did you take?" I asked, keeping him held tightly to me.

He held his hand up awkwardly and tried to concentrate but he seemed to lose the ability to count, and finally sighed, "a few. What are you doing here?"

"I brought you flowers," was all I could think of by way of an answer.

He nodded as if that made perfect sense and closed his eyes again. I shook him, "David you need to stay awake." He waved me off and kept his eyes closed, I lifted him off the floor and set his feet down so he was mostly standing, "Come on walk!" I encouraged him, half lifting, half dragging him around the flat. Finally he moved his feet on his own and seemed to come around a bit.

I sat him down on the sofa and make a pot of coffee checking on him periodically as I did so, he seemed to be somewhat awake or at least his eyes were mostly open. I put some coffee into a mug and placed an ice cube into it so it was cool enough to drink straight away, I put it into his hands and lifted it to his lips, "drink this."

At first he didn't seem to understand then he tipped the cup forward and poured most of it down the front of his shirt missing his mouth. I jumped up and grabbed the cup from his hand and got a towel to wipe off the spilled coffee, by the time I got back he was out cold again.

I picked him up again and carried him into the bathroom, stripped his clothes off and then I took off mine and got into the shower. I turned him so his back was towards the nozzle and turned on just the cold water.

As the first sprays of water made contact his eyes flew open and he tried to escape my grasp, I moved us back until his head was under the stream and he redoubled his efforts to get away, calling me all sorts of names in the process. The way he was screaming and jerking in my arms made me worried that he would drown before he came fully awake, my arms were turning to ice but I held him firmly until he stopped struggling and seemed to accept that I wasn't going to let him go. After a bit I turned off the water and wrapped him in a couple of towels setting him down on the edge of the tub.

David's lips were blue and he was shivering violently but he was definitely awake and very, very pissed off, "what are you doing here?" he asked pulling the towels closer around him.

"I came to apologise for being an ass earlier and found you passed out."

"I was asleep, that's not unusual for anyone other than you, obviously, to be doing at this time of night!" He was still slurring his words but he seemed a bit more with it. The he stood up a bit unsteadily and reached for the robe hanging off the back of the bathroom door and wrapped it around himself tightly.

"David, you were out cold, please tell me you don't make a habit of mixing alcohol and sleeping pills."

He didn't answer me but instead made for the door of the bathroom before stumbling and almost falling, I grabbed him and held him upright, I could feel him still shivering as I pulled him into my arms, "you're freezing."

"Yeah, I know, some asshole tried to drown me in ice cold water," he countered.

I laughed at that, "sorry it was for your own good."

"I don't think I'll ever get warm again," he complained.

"Get into bed, and I'll warm you," I offered, but when he shot me a comical look I amended it to, "strictly P.G. I promise."

I watched him get into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie before joining me in bed, he still felt really cold to the touch so I wrapped him in my arms and let him rest his head on my shoulder. Even soaking wet, angry and shivering his appeal was hard to miss but I forced myself to think about other things and not let his scent and the closeness of his lean body get to me.

In an effort to get warm David pressed himself so tightly to me it was like he was trying to crawl inside my skin, he kept shifting against me and when he brushed up against my crotch the predictable thing happened. I shifted uncomfortably as my jeans tightened around me and bumped his hip on accident. I could see a flicker of amusement ease the frown on his face but he turned on his side and pulled the covers tightly around him and his back to me.

I tapped his shoulder, "I really don't think you should go to sleep, I'm still worried about you."

He turned to face me, "I am exhausted, and I'm going to go to sleep. You are welcome to stay or go home or some combination of the two." Then he turned away again.

I pressed my arousal against the small of his back; "I think I can keep you awake a bit longer." I offered.

"You bust in here, wake me up, then try to drown me in ice water and now you want to make out?"

I held him tightly, "that pretty much sums it up."

"Forget it," he said, but made no move to escape my embrace.

I tilted his head back, exposing his neck to me and nibbled down to his shoulder. He continued to ignore me, so I slipped my hand under the waistband of his sweat pants and trailed my fingers along his thigh.

He sighed, "you don't take no for an answer do you?"

"I said I didn't think you should go to sleep, you can either lay there and pretend I'm not here or you can do something more pleasurable to pass the time." I whispered into his ear as I circled my hand around his cock warming his still cool flesh, "your choice."

David sat up, "no means no John. I'm wiped, I'm cold and I am not in the mood for your games tonight. Go home."

I rolled over onto my back; frustrated but fully realising he meant it, "OK I'll behave."

He looked down at me, regarding me, sizing me up, then turned off the light and laid back down. Within a minute he was sound asleep, I listened to make sure he was breathing normally but soon I fell asleep myself.

I awoke a bit later to find David had moved in his sleep to lay his head on my chest and his arms around my shoulders, his warm breath tickling my neck. I pulled him closer to me enjoying the feel of his lean body on mine. As my hand slid down to the small of his back he sighed in his sleep and he snuggled in more.

As I lay there holding him I wished I could stay in that moment forever. No pressure, no drama, just David in my arms, and the rest of the world was not welcome. I traced the line of his check with my free hand, feeling the fine bones of his face and the stubble that dotted his chin and then brushed his lips with my fingers. Then I ran the hand down his neck and slid it inside his hoodie stroking the soft hair on his chest.

"I thought you said you were going to behave," I heard from the darkness.

"I thought you were asleep," I laughed.

"I was," David countered.

"Sorry." I apologised, trying to sound contrite even though I didn't feel it.

"Yeah you sound it." David chuckled, "you win I'm awake, now what?"

I rolled him over onto his back and lowered myself on top of him, holding myself up on my elbows so I wouldn't crush him, "I have a few ideas."