I stood in front of the hallway mirror, staring this way and that critically. I had tried gelling my unruly brown curls but had looked like a doll dragged angrily through a forest so I'd washed it out. I hated how curly my hair was. It made me look younger than my 20 years. It did not help that I was a lean 5'11 man, I looked like a boy. I pushed these thoughts out of my head defiantly. Boy or no boy, Josh seemed to fancy me and that was all that mattered.
'I think I hear footsteps,' Andrea called out from the living room and I sighed to myself. I had begged her to not be home in the flat we shared when Josh came but the cheeky sod had grinned gleefully at me, promising to be by my side with bells on. I shook my head even though, deep down I was happy she was here. My shyness was embarrassing!
I heard a firm knock on the front door and jumped a little, startled. I looked once more at myself as I heard Andrea's quickened steps to the door and nodded firmly. In a soft grey tee and blue jeans, I did not look half-bad. I grabbed my scarf, gloves and coat from its hook. It was early February and bitterly cold. I could hear Andrea's high chatter mixed with Josh's deep baritone and I felt my heart skip a beat. I was totally in lust with him.
'Hey,' I said, glad that my voice did not betray my nerves. I squeezed my suddenly clammy palms around my scarf, hoping Josh would not shake my hands. I doubted my palms would stop feeling sweaty.
Josh looked at me, dragging his gaze from the tip of my curls to my trainers-clad feet and I felt my toes curl in them. When his eyes returned to my face, they were gleaming. 'Hey yourself.' He replied softly. 'You look really good. Ready to go?'
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. His look was scorching. I waved at Andrea, wore my jacket and wrapped my scarf round my neck before wearing my gloves. Josh stood aside so that I could squeeze past him, feeling the tight muscles of his body that his leather jacket could not quite conceal. I held my breath as I pushed past him sideways then waited till he closed the door and came to meet me.
'Uhm, thanks for the compliment by the way.' I said as we walked down my corner to the bustling Whiteladies Road. 'You don't look half-bad yourself.' I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes as I said this. I saw the amused look on his face and quickly looked straight ahead, my face turning red.
'Are you nervous, Ash?'
Ash. No one called me Ash. I liked the way it sounded on his lips. He cleared his throat and I remembered his question and quickly answered, 'No, no. I mean...yeah, I am. Kind of. It's just so sudden, isn't it? 2 years and a bit without any communication whatsoever between us and now we've had a snog and are going out on a date. It's like a movie only, this is reality.' I took a deep breath after blurting all this out.
There was silence and I turned to see Josh with his hands in his pockets as he walked, seemingly deep in thoughts. We walked for about a minute in silence then I heard him say in his deep, husky voice. 'Yeah, I get what you mean. I think it's a bit crazy myself but at the end of the day, we've liked each other for so long but were idiots not to realise or do anything about it. And now uni is coming to an end soon and...I just don't see any point us beating around the bush. I want to get to know you better. It sounds fucking cliché, I know but there we are. And I know how busy you are with studying and I'm crazy busy myself with Rugby and exam prep so... I just don't wanna dawdle, you understand?'
I nodded. Yes, I did. I thought about kissing Andrea again. I wanted to pinch myself. I was with Josh on a date and he fancied me! He claimed to have done so for so long! What a fucking weird dream.
'So, uhm. Where are we going?' I asked as we walked down the road towards Queens Road.
'I was thinking maybe a few drinks at Browns? We can sit out at the terrace cuz I know you smoke. Is that fine?' He asked somewhat nervously, shooting a glance at me.
'Yeah, sure. Absolutely!' I nodded. Well then, if there was any proof I needed that he had been studying me, there it was. He even knew I smoked. At this point, I decided to relax and just enjoy whatever the night was going to bring.
***
'Please don't tell me you're a lightweight.' Josh mock-groaned as I tried unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle. We were on our third drinks, a gin and tonic for him and a vodka tonic for me. I normally had beer but when he ordered his G&T, I decided to eschew my favourite alcoholic beverage, all in a bid to seem more mature. And now, I was tipsy.
'Well, to be honest I never thought I was.' I said as steadily as I could, which wasn't really steady at all.
He shook his head and just stared at me over the rim of his glass, his eyes piercing as fuck. The night had gone pretty well considering how nervous I was at first. Josh was surprisingly witty and quite clever, putting an end to the stereotypes of rugby players being meatheads. He was studying History and Spanish and was going to be spending half of his fourth and final year in Spain. I found it fascinating that he was doing this and had asked how he was going to work around his rugby commitments. He told me that the university had worked something out with the rugby team in the Spanish university he was going to, plus he was going to pop back as often as possible to play. He intended to play professionally and I respected his tenacity. I tried to downplay the fact that I was studying Law but he heaped praise after praise on my 'brilliance' causing me to constantly flush red from blushing; of course, the booze and the cold didn't help.
As he kept on staring, I bit my lip and fumbled with my Marlboro Menthols, ignoring his hooded gaze now trained on my lips. 'Stop biting, babe.' He husked at me.
I gulped. Babe. I nearly dropped my cigarette and he stretched to take it and the lighter from my hand, an amused smile playing around his lips. I could not take my eyes from him as he nudged my lips open with the cigarette then cupped his hand to light it for me. I inhaled shakily, the nicotine slowly calming my rattling nerves.
'I can't wait to walk you to your door and kiss you. You've got the softest lips, do you know?' He said in a very steady, normal tone not realising the havoc it was wreaking in me.
