Author's note: While the events described in this story are true, names have been changed to keep the identity of these persons anonymous.
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I grew up in the Midwest in the 1970s—progressive times and repressive times all at once. We lived in the country in a Michigan town called Davisburg, so "getting around" just didn't happen—there was no place TO get around, really. The neighborhood was filled with kids, but most with overprotective mothers like mine, so even simple j/o stuff just didn't happen.
My name is Randy and "randy" describes my disposition for most of my teenage years—like most young dudes, I suppose. About the only thing we did was have some porno mags in our tree fort. Where mom could not get to it! And somehow, there were a few Playgirl mags along with the Playboys, Hustlers, etc. My brother and I (he is a year and a half younger) never went up into the tree fort together, but we certainly spent some time up there alone at varying times, with a good deal of jacking off. This is the point that I really started to notice how much the male body appealed to me. I was also piqued by the chicks, tits, and cunts, but the physical direct response was not nearly as great as the cocks and hot male bodies. I remember a particularly strong effect I had with an attractive 20-something blond California dude riding his horse "bareback" in a photo spread in one of those Playgirls. Damn, I shot a lot of cum thinking about that dude!
About the only neighbor that expressed any interest in sexploration with me was Lisa—she was a year younger than me and lived across the street. And I totally would have, except my mother was on to us and shut down any opportunity for us to meet alone anywhere. She was a stay-at-home mom and a stay-in-your-business mom. UGH.
I finally graduated from high school, was on my way to college in mid-Michigan and was very excited about getting out of that house and discovering myself. Early in my freshman year there, I determined that I was a gay guy and just had to accept it—mind you, this is without a SINGLE sexual experience of ANY KIND with ANY PERSON. Sheesh, was I a late bloomer, or what? In fact, it took until the end of my freshman year to have my first experience...
I was 18 years old, HORNY AS HELL and really, really wanted to experience sex with a dude. I had picked up a number of gay mags and was very turned on by the pics, the stories, etc. This would have been 1980-81 and before any real videos/movies were widely available. I mean, they WERE available, but nobody could afford the high price of getting them. This really left very few alternatives except for seedy sex at seedy places. But there weren't too many offerings in rural Michigan for any of that either.
Finally, I decided that the sex shop that I passed every time on my drive to and from college and my home town was where this could likely happen. It took a few times to get up the nerve to finally stop, but hormones finally took over one day and I took the exit off I-75 and pulled up to the porn shop. I was incredibly nervous and really did not know what to expect...all I knew was there were "peep shows" in booths for 25 cents and I was pretty confident that there were some man-on-man goings-on.
Well, I went inside and was greeted by a guy at the counter that asked for my ID and said I would have to pay him $5 for access to the shop and offered a "girlie show" to me also (one of the ones behind a glass things). I said, "uhhh, no thanks" to that and started back to the booths.
The front of the door of these tiny video viewing booths had the video case for the VHS that was playing inside at the time, and they were mostly straight ones. But 3 or 4 rooms were gay-themed, thankfully. So that's where I drifted, naturally. I went in, dropped my quarter in, and watched a movie clip. I was pretty turned on, but the 25 cents didn't last long, so I left to go check out another room.
As I walked down the hallway, an older guy (I was 18, but he was in his mid-20s I think) said "Hey, would you like to watch this one together?"
It was a straight video, but I didn't really care, so I said "Sure!" He was wearing work boots and a flannel shirt and bluejeans, and had nice curly brown hair, medium length. He was very masculine, yet he had a very calm, soft voice that really help me be more at ease (but while still being nervous as fuck!). So he popped in a quarter and the movie started to play. Some dude with a big cock was standing up in his convertible car and a blond chick was sucking the hell out of him.
The guy in the booth with me said "Wow, she's really going to town on him eh?"
Nervously, I said "Yeah!"
Then he reached over and rubbed his finger along my pants and felt my cock, which was hard as stone! He said: "Why don't you pull down your pants and let me take care of that for you?"
"O-o-ok," I said, only partially with reluctance.
He started sucking me and, remember, this was the first time any human had touched my dick in a sexual way. I was totally in ecstasy and had no idea how great this could feel! He sucked and licked and rubbed/cupped my balls as his mouth worked pretty hard. The sensation was indescribable, and my heart was racing like crazy! Before hardly any time went by, though, I shot a massive load in his mouth. I just couldn't hold back! I don't know whether or not he intended to take my cum or not, but I likely didn't give him any warning before I erupted! Either way, he didn't seem to mind and swallowed my whole load without blinking!
And, as happens to some guys in the discovery phase of identifying your same-sex nature, as soon as I shot my load I was done and started feeling some guilt and shame. All those years of Sunday School and church didn't help me accept all this stuff about myself. I pulled up my pants and said: "Uhhhh, I gotta go."
He said, in a very nice tone of voice: "But, what about me?" and pointed to the big bulge pup tent in his shorts.
I said, nervously, "But...uhhh...I've never done this before."
He reassured me by saying "You'll be fine, there's really nothing to it." Before I could protest any further, he gently pulled my shoulders down until I was seated on the bench. He then dropped his shorts, and put his dick in my mouth, but not too forcefully. I really didn't have a second to protest giving this blowjob. He was obviously as horny as I was and really needed some oral relief. I was the hole he chose that day to plug!
I really had NO IDEA what to expect. Of course, I had read dozens of gay porn fiction stories and had seen SOME gay videos, and thought "How hard could this be?" Well, needless to say, I found that it was enjoyable, not scary, and I really liked having his dick in my mouth. Like I mentioned before, nature has a way of taking over. I didn't really need instruction on how to suck cock...it came naturally.
I sucked, licked, rubbed his balls (taking his lead from sucking on me) and not two minutes later, he warned me by saying: "Here it comes, buddy..." and then shot an enormous load in my mouth. I was really surprised by the taste...not really what I expected. But then again, I really had no idea what to expect! Either way, the saltiness was interesting. It burned my throat a little, but I really liked it.
He zipped up quick and started out the door, saying: "OK, we better get out of here before we get busted." We walked out the door, we got in our cars (his jeep was parked right next to my car) and he said with a really kind-hearted and sincere voice: "Hey, thanks. It was good to see you, buddy."
At that, we drove our separate ways. I never saw this hot guy again, have no idea where he lives, what his name is, etc. But this started my life of exploring the awesomeness of man-on-man sex. I knew then and there that I was addicted and would have to have more.
So the blowjobs (receiving and giving) were pretty hot and the cause of many fantasy jack-offs for many days/years to come (cum? LOL). But it left me wondering about all the rest of what was out there to try out and experience. While I liked the porn store experience, I didn't particularly like being at that porn store. It was really dirty, the owner/manager folks really seemed more straight-focused and somewhat "disgusted" by gays, and I just didn't feel like it was a safe place. Plus, it was quite a haul from college (2 hours), and there was definitely nothing like this in my small college town. So, I had kinda decided that this was my first and last time going for sex at the porn shop.
So what's a horny young gay guy to do? I really wanted more, but had no clue how to go about it. Plus, I was a music major with an impossible schedule and very little free time. The end result was that sexual exploration kinda got shelved for a while, sadly. But the porn shop blowjob was a pretty good indicator to me that I was, in fact, gay and needed to accept it and begin to entrust this to my closest friends. This began the process of coming out and starting to tell others about the "real me"...my best friends from high school (1 guy and 2 girls) and my music major friends at college. Most seemed pretty accepting, but a few challenged me on it.
One guy I came out to was a piano major at college—his name was Reymond. Reymond was a 19-year-old African American guy, and was one of the "obviously gay" guys around the music department. While he was a really nice guy, I was not interested in him sexually at all...he was super-feminine, thin and scrawny, and just not the type of guy that turned me on. I was more into the rugged type.
But I did decide to confide in Reymond about my own coming out experience. He gave me some good advice, showed me some materials about things gay, and was the first person to tell me/warn me about this big "gay epidemic" that was popping up internationally. This was 1981 and right at the beginnings of the HIV/AIDS crisis. Reymond told me that nobody really knew what it was yet, but that gay men were getting hit with it hard and starting to panic nationwide. Needless to say, this was some pretty scary shit! But it didn't shut down my hormones and desires to want to get it on with a guy.
So fast forward a couple of months to the end of my freshman year in the spring. Reymond sees me in the music locker room and tells me about this gay party that was happening on the upcoming Friday night at a gay professor's house. He said "We should go! Wanna? There will be a lot of hot men there to meet."
