No Regrets

CHAPTER 4 -- Tommy's Story -- Missing in Action

The next month was agony for Tommy. He counted every day until the month was up. Keeping an eye on the army base he would take note of any units coming or going in the hope that Ryan may have come back early.

Tommy began to worry when the month passed with no sign of him. On his way to work he would make a detour, passing by the base, hoping for a glimpse or any sign of his lover. One month turned into two, then three. Tommy was beside himself, beginning to fear the worst. Eventually he asked other GI's about Ryan but no body seemed to know. Some did point him to the base commander who might, so he set out to find him. It was in the village tavern that he discovered him drinking a pint of ale.

"Are you Commander Arkwright?" Tommy gingerly asked the stout man.

"Yes I am," He replied.

"I was told you might know the where about's of Sergeant Ryan Monroe?"

"Monroe? Hmm, can't recall the name, what division?"

"Er, fourth airborne I think."

The commanders face became serious, "I'm afraid that unit has disappeared, they're down as missing in action " the commander said softly.

Tommy's stomach turned,

did that mean dead?

"What's your interest in him?" the commander probed.

Tommy felt nervous, "Oh, er," he had to think of a reason fast, "he-he hasn't paid his tab at the grocers."

"Grocers eh?" the commander studied the young man with suspicious eyes. Tommy felt sure the man didn't believe him but many GI's did get fruit from the grocers, especially as Mr Rogers ran a black market for it.

"I'm sorry I can't be of further help," The Commander finally said and turned back to his pint of ale.

Tommy quickly made his exit from the tavern, he was devastated,

what could have happened to Ryan?

He made his way to the Village hall and sat on the back steps where they had first met and where he had waited every night for the last three months. He couldn't stop the flood of tears.

Every day from then on Tommy went about his business as usual. No one suspecting how heart broken he was. Night time was different though, he would sit on the rear steps to the Village hall hoping for Ryan to come round the corner, but he never did. Without fail he sat there willing to hear the sound of a jeep pull up. Eventually he would head home and cry himself to sleep.

When the weather became warmer he would head up to the abandoned cottage to remember the last time they made love. He would lie there naked, recalling every detail of their love making and eventually bringing himself off.

Tommy lost track how long he had been like this, months he knew but maybe more than a year? He wasn't sure.

One day while stocking the shelves in the grocers a woman burst into the store.

"It's over!" She said panting, she had obviously been running.

"What's over?" Mr Rogers asked.

"The war, the Germans have surrendered!"

Mr Rogers eyes widened as she ran off, "Tommy, take the rest of the day off, I'm locking up."

Tommy's confusion was obvious, "this calls for a celebration," Mr Rogers explained.

Walking home Tommy saw people celebrating in their homes, in the bars and on the street. He could see all the jollity but had no desire to join in. The war may be over, but to him it was meaningless without his Ryan.

Tommy had all but resigned himself to the idea that Ryan was dead. If he was still alive, someone surely would have heard something by now. He felt it was time to move on, it was an end of an era and the start of a new England. He needed to be a part of it and not gloat on the past. True he had a secret that excluded him from being accepted into society, but he was slowly learning to live with it.

He decided to visit the abandoned cottage one last time to lay his love to rest, his last tribute to a great, beautiful man. He laid out a blanket on the old bed and stripped off, picked up a bottle of bourbon he had bought from a GI and took several swigs. The alcohol numbed his pain and it reminded him of the last time they had spent on this very bed together.

The moon was bright giving a silver sheen to his soft skin. He closed his eyes and caressed his body, imagining Ryan's calloused hands stroking him. He held up his erection and desperately tried to remember the sensation of Ryan's mouth slipping down it. Pulling his legs up he fingered himself wishing it was Ryan's tongue.

"Oh Ryan, please fuck me," he whispered as he would have done if Ryan had been there.

"I knew you were queer."

Tommy's eyes shot open and in an instant grabbed the blanket to cover himself. Before him stood Bobby Jones. He had a contemptuous grin on his face. Tommy froze not knowing what to do or say.

Bobby grabbed hold of Tommy's hair and wrenched him off the bed. Tommy screamed as roots tore from his scalp. He grabbed Bobby's arm in an unsuccessful bid to get him to stop.

"Looks like I got me a lil' fuck buddy," Bobby grinned as he unbuckled his belt.

Tommy's eyes grew wide, "No, please don't," he begged.

Bobby's trousers slithered down to his ankles and his massive cock sprang up. The stench of stale piss and body odour hit Tommy's nostrils, turning his stomach.

Bobby pulled Tommy towards his cock, "suck it," he demanded.

Tommy closed his eyes and put his hands on Bobby's thighs to keep away from the foul smelling cock. Crying now, tears streamed down his face, he pleaded, "Please don't."

Bobby was strong however and despite Tommy's efforts to keep away his mouth soon touched the nine inch monster looming before him.

"Suck it!" Bobby commanded, his voice sounding impatient.

Tommy kept his mouth shut tight so he now had to breathe through his nose. His heavy sobbing was making that difficult and his tears were now mixing with the snot being forced from his nostrils. Bobby swiped Tommy hard across the face causing him to scream and open his mouth.

Bobby took his opportunity and rammed his cock inside. Tommy was taken by surprise and instantly gagged as it hit the back of his throat.

"Ooh, that feel real nice, I'm gonna love having you as me fuck boy."

Tommy couldn't breathe, he started to thrash out at Bobby as his lungs began to scream for air. Bobby pulled his cock out and Tommy managed to gasp a huge lung full just before Bobby rammed his cock back in. He was now fucking Tommy's mouth hard, the poor boy choking on each deep thrust and gasping for air on each out stroke. Bobby began to tremble and quickly pulled Tommy off giving him a chance to catch his breath.

"Oh no, I ain't gonna shoot yet," he said, his voice slightly trembling. "Your mouth is real nice but I want a piece of that ass, it looked real pretty just now."

"Noooo, please!" Tommy begged and started to struggle.

Bobby effortlessly picked Tommy up by his hair. He screamed with the pain hanging on to Bobby's arm in an effort to lessen it, his feet dangling in the air. Bobby then flung Tommy on the bed and held him down on his front, his cock probing the terrified boy's ass.

"No please don't, pleeeeasssee!" Tommy cried in vain.

Bobby pushed hard and with no lubricant flesh teared, Tommy screamed with the pain. Bobby was merciless as he rammed his cock deep into Tommy, the pain was unbearable.

"Oh yes!" Bobby grunted, "You gonna be a real good fuck buddy, your ass is real tight."

Tommy wasn't listening, he was trying to focus his mind away from the pain. He tried to conjure images of his mother, of Ryan, but it wasn't easy. He could feel something trickling down his legs and he feared the worst. Pretty soon Bobby tensed up and delivered his load deep into Tommy, collapsing on top of him, Tommy could smell the stench of his breath.

"You're a real good fuck Tommy boy, can't wait to do this again," he said getting up. His cock left Tommy's ass with a loud plop. "Be here tomorrow night, if you don't I'll come and find you, and if you tell anyone I'll tell everyone you been fuckin' with the GI's." He pulled up his trousers and promptly left.

Tommy just lay there, unable to move, sobbing into the blanket. His life couldn't have gotten any lower, the only two people he ever loved were dead. What was there left to live for? He slowly got up off the bed and cried out from the pain in his rectum. He put his hand back and could feel wetness. He sobbed when he looked at his fingers, they were stained with blood.

As Tommy picked up his clothes he found a length of electrical cable on the floor. He picked it up and considered using to hang himself. Scanning the room he saw an old wooden chair in the corner. After a couple of minutes he had made a noose from the wire and hung it from a beam that was exposed where the ceiling plaster had broken away.

Tommy stood on the chair in silence looking at the noose dangling in front of his face. There was no turning back once he put his head through it. Everything that was dear to him had gone and now he had been ruined by that monster, he was damned if he was gonna let him have his way again. Tears flowed and the sobbing returned as he placed his head through the noose. His sobs increased. Once he stepped off that chair it would all be over.

He willed himself to make that step off but couldn't. As much as he wanted all this misery to end he didn't really want to die. Maybe if he just left, went to London. They were going to need help there, rebuilding much of the city. Yes that's what he would do.

As he attempted to pull the noose from around his neck his weight shifted causing the chair to topple and flip away. Suddenly he was caught by the noose and it instantly tightened round his neck. He tried to scream but it was cutting off his airway. Panicking he reached for the beam but all he managed to to was scratch at it.

The room started to spin, blackness slowly closed in as his brain was starved of oxygen. He could hear his name being called but by now he was hallucinating, seeing images of his mother, of Ryan, of his life rushing past. His penis became fully erect and he involuntary ejaculated. A peaceful euphoria washed over him and all the pain and hurt just floated away. He was vaguely aware of a dark shadow moving in front of him before the blackness finally took him over.