The bell to end the last hour of the day sounded. It's always a relief but especially on Fridays. School sucks. I gathered my books and walked into the hallways. The loud talking and slamming locker doors filled my ears, so I never would've seen it coming.
Two of the homophobic jocks ran to catch up with me. Being the only openly gay student at my school was Hell. I got picked on like no other. They called my derogatory names all the time. This time though, they knocked my binder from my arms and laughed like they were doing something original. They kept going along and I sighed. Nothing really new.
The few people that were left lingering merely looked down at me while I collected the papers that had scattered everywhere. It was humiliating to have to be on the dirty floor picking up my stuff. It took a while and people stepping on them and dragging them across the hall didn't help.
Once I had finally managed to get situated once again and back on my feet, I saw the buses through the glass doors starting to leave. It jumped into my mind that my parents weren't home for the weekend so that was my only way home.
"Shit," I mumbled under my breath as I took off into a run. My bag clumsily bounced against me as I ran. I got to the end of the hall and burst through the doors. I tried to catch the bus, but it was already pulling away from the stop sign. I saw the two guys who had made my mess in the back window snickering. I hated them so much.
I stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do. My house was way to far to walk home, but it was starting to look like I had no other choice. I looked around, but I was alone. I sighed and sat down on an old bench to think. I zoned out for a few minutes sitting there.
'At least it's not raining,'I thought to myself. If my life was a movie, that's when it would start pouring down, but my life is not a movie and something different happened.
I heard the door fall shut. I turned around to see who it was. I was desperate enough to ask someone for a ride. It was Nate. One of the popular guys of my senior class. One of the jocks' friends. My stomach turned over inside of me and I hesitated. I had pretty good reason to believe he'd laugh in my face if I even said hi to him, but I guess beggars can't be choosers, right?
I studied him for a moment though. Something was off. He walked with his head down. That wasn't like him. Upon closer inspection, his eyes had bags saying that he hadn't been sleeping lately. As he drew closer, I had to bring every single ounce of courage I could muster to say something.
"Hey," I managed with a dry mouth and standing up. I seemed to have snapped him out of some deep thought. He looked up at me but didn't say a thing. I cleared my throat.
"I don't know if you know me or anything. I'm Oliver, and I know this might seem a little weird. But uh, I don't really have a way home... Could I maybe get a ride? I'll pay you gas money," I told him trying my hardest to not sound stupid. He didn't answer immediately, and I wanted to throw up. I had had a crush on this guy since I first moved into the school freshman year. And as he's aged to 18, he's gotten even hotter. As I've aged to 18, I've changed a lot. I'd like to believe I've gotten better looking, but nowhere near his level.
"Um, yeah sure," he said hesitantly. I swallowed hard and picked up my bag. I followed him across the parking lot in silence. We approached a new model black mustang. I paused to make sure it was his car. He unlocked the doors and we both climbed in.
"I like your car," I told him trying to make some conversation. It seemed to catch him off guard again.
"Thanks, I got it for my sixteenth birthday," he replied. "So where is it that you live?"
I explained it to him.
"Oh, you live right down the street from me," he said as he started the engine.
"Really? I've never seen you around," I said.
"I'm not home all that often honestly, and I visit my mom in the summer," he told me backing up. I couldn't help but admire his jawline as he strained to look behind him. I kept my hands in my lap in an awkward way. I hated myself for being so damn introverted, but I couldn't help it really.
"Oh," was all I could come up with to say. As we left school grounds, the car became heavier with a silence. I had no clue what to say, so I just played with my ring that I always wear. It helped me calm my nerves when I had nothing else.
"Thanks by the way. I don't know how I would've gotten home if you hadn't still been here," I said.
"No problem, I like waiting it out to avoid the rush," he explained. He still seemed to be deep in thought. His eyebrows furrowed.
"And ya know... I was kinda scared to ask you," I mentioned with a somewhat forced laugh. I don't really know why I said that, but I did.
"Really? Why?" He asked. This caught his attention and brought him out of his mind. He looked over at me for a second.
"Well... I was afraid you'd laugh at me or something... like all your friends do," I said looking intensely at the road in front of us as if it were so interesting.
"Jake and Brent? Those guys are assholes... Honestly, I don't even like them. The only reason I hang around them is because of football," he admitted to me. As much as I could believe he was just like them, I wanted to believe he was different. Kinder.
"Yeah they are," I said exhaling. "I've had to deal with their shit since I moved here."
"Man, I'm sorry. I can't imagine what it'd be like to get that kind of treatment every single day. I don't know how you do it," he trailed off. He stared at the road for more than the reason of driving. I could just tell. I looked over at him. I took in his appearance before I said anything further. Everything about him screamed sex. He was tan. He had dark hair that fell perfectly without effort. He had bulging biceps and probably washboard abs. From what I saw, he didn't have any body hair. His eyes were a pretty brown. They twinkled.
"Yeah, it sucks but I guess I can't really take the ignorance out of them," I said and the car started to slow down. We were on a deserted road that was about halfway between our school and our neighborhood. I was confused. Then, the worst thing went through my mind, as it always does.
"Don't tell me you're kicking me out," I said before I really knew what was happening. Just by association, it still scared me he was going to screw me over. Like it's some cruel joke on the queer kid. He turned to me.
"What? No. No, I wouldn't do that," he said. He swallowed, and it was evident something was on his mind, burdening him. I turned to him.
"Is... something wrong?" I asked genuinely concerned for him. He looked down, avoiding eye contact.
"Can I tell you something?" He said, his voice cracking.
"Yeah, sure," I told him. It was then that I saw a tear fall from his eye to the console. I started to realize just how serious things were getting.
"You have to swear you won't tell anyone," he emphasized, still not looking at me.
"I won't. Promise," I reassured. Then, he looked at me. His eyes were glossy from tears. They were even prettier than before. Even when he was emotionally torn in half and breaking down, he was so attractive. He calmed himself down a bit and sighed.
"Oliver... I'm- I'm gay...," he managed to get out. We maintained eye contact for a moment after that. I was shocked to say the least. He was the last person I ever would've guessed to be gay.
"I- I never would've thought... Really?" I said without much thought to it. I knew he was serious. Who gets this emotional to try and trick someone? Nobody.
"You're the only person I've told. I can't tell anyone else. The whole team would beat me up. I wouldn't have any friends left. Hell, my dad would probably kick me out of the house," he went on to say. Tears started to fall a little more. It was all so much to take in at once. The most words we had ever exchanged was when he said sorry for almost hitting me with a door.
"It's okay, Nate. It's all okay... I know what you're feeling right now. I went through the same thing when I first figured it all out... And I want you to know that, I'm gonna be here for you. It's a hard to thing to go through alone, but you won't have to. Promise," I said trying to comfort him. As his tears glided down his cheeks, I reached out and gently placed my hand on his arm to comfort him.
"Th-thank you," he said calming down. He wiped his eyes and looked at me. We sat there a moment so I could let him gather his thoughts. He looked at his steering wheel.
"What's it like?" He asked me in a quiet voice.
"What do you mean?" I asked half because I wanted to hear him say it and half because I wasn't a hundred percent sure what he was asking. He brought his eyes back to me.
"To... to be with a guy. To hold one. To kiss one... To have sex with one," he breathed out in a pained and quiet voice. I let my hand slide down to armrest but still maintains contact.
"It's... amazing honestly," I reply. I paused.
"And it's scary at first because it's all so new and foreign from what everyone else does, but it feels good to be honest with yourself," I somewhat rushed in. I looked down a little and tried thinking of how else to explain it.
Before I could say something else, Nate's lips were against mine. I was totally caught off guard, but as soon as I realized what was happening, I closed my eyes and kissed him back. He held it long enough for me to rest my hand on his shoulder. He pulled away and looked out his window in embarrassment. I was still processing that my all time crush who I had previously assumed straight, had just kissed me.
"Sorry... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...," he trailed off. He wouldn't look at me. His pain filled the car. I pulled his shoulder so that he'd look back at me. I got him to and his eyes were filled with worry.
"It's completely fine... It was nice," I said with a small smile. He looked at me wanting to believe me and eventually did.
"Oliver... Can I ask you something else?" He asked me slowly.
