It was barely light outside when I stumbled downstairs for my morning coffee from yet another night of sleeplessness. I was so out of it I could almost convince myself that last night didn't happen. That I didn't give Ryan a hand job. That I didn't swallow his cum...
I poured myself coffee and, as was increasingly my habit lately (in my own house), went into hiding upstairs again. What the hell was I going to do? For the life of me I didn't know what had gotten into me yesterday. I have been straight all my life and even in those relationships, always very by-the-books. Nothing kinky or taboo.
As I sat in the rock hard bed again, drinking my coffee, I admitted to myself that obviously it was at least partially to do with Ryan. I mean there was just no denying that the man...the BOY...was attractive, and confident, and sexy, and...well, more. But I'd been around attractive men before that had never had this effect on me. I realized that a big part of it, and I was guessing a larger part, was that it had been so long since I'd been with someone.
I had dated a woman - Diane - for 8 months or so up until just over two months ago. She left me and it was a difficult break up on me. Not least because she had really shaken my self confidence at the end. Something she told me over and over in the couple months leading to our breakup was that I wasn't man enough for her.
Anyways, at this point, I was just desperate for human contact. I would bet that's why I had acted so insane last night.
So I thought the best way to fix this - the best way to be sure that the same crazy actions wouldn't come over me again - was to be with a woman again. But that was easier said than done. I had never had wild success with women. I thought my face was nice, unblemished with a small button nose, green eyes, and pronounced cheekbones. But I had always been too slim - with legs awkwardly long for a man. I saw a lot of myself in Tracy, but my inherited features appeared to be better suited for a woman, and Tracy had always been widely sought after by boys and men in her life. In fact, I'd been told my whole life that I had a feminine quality, one that women gravitated towards as friends, but not as lovers. And today's dating environment was harder than ever. I just couldn't get a hang of all these dating apps.
I sighed...no, not an easy fix. Maybe...maybe Diane would get together with me again?
Hmm...
The prospect scared me a bit, but I didn't have many options. I supposed a text couldn't hurt.
I pulled out my phone, scrolled through my contacts to "bitch," and typed a message. I'd have to change that back if this went anywhere.
"Hey, hope you're doing well. Any interest in catching up over a coffee this afternoon?"
My finger hung over the "send" key. Did I really want to do this?
I thought of my hands on Ryan's strong body, of my hands sliding up and down his long thick cock, of the taste of...I shuddered, feeling my body heat up instantly. I clicked send.
I began reading the news and before too long my phone dinged.
"Well, if it isn't Little Tommy. Coffee? Sure - why not."
Little Tommy was a name she teased me with. I didn't love it. But hey - she'd said yes to coffee!
"Great! That place on Main street? 2 p.m.?"
"k."
Well, I couldn't exactly say I was excited to see her. But I was looking forward to the distraction. A female distraction at that. And maybe it would last longer than just a cup of coffee. Who knows where coffee would lead to? I began thinking of possibilities in my head.
I made a few additional calls to Tracy's school which put me in an even better mood. Feeling decent again, I risked a trip to the kitchen.
Still early, the kitchen was empty when I arrived. I suppressed a feeling of relief. It was my own goddam kitchen for god's sake! I grabbed the eggs and some cheese and began to whisk up eggs, planning on scrambled eggs.
I was just about to pour the eggs into the frying pan when I heard footsteps behind me. "Finally, some home cooked food! Great. I'll have an omelette."
Ryan's words triggered anger instantly. I started a stern reply as I turned towards Ryan's voice: "Seriously?! Is that how you a..."
My words caught in my throat. Ryan was in a pair of thin training pants, and nothing else. His muscular chest and arms were on full display as he walked to sit at the bar. His abs expanded and contracted with each step and his skin seemed to slide over his obliques with every movement.
"How I what, Tammy?' Ryan asked innocently, sitting down on the stool across the counter from me.
I pulled my eyes from his chest. "Chest?"
"How I...chest?" Ryan cocked an eyebrow. A devilishly handsome look for him that didn't help me find my footing.
"How you...dress?" I asked, still somewhat dazed.
Ryan chuckled. "You really have a one-tracked mind, huh Tammy?"
"I...I meant to ask is that how you ask...?" It sounded confusing and pathetic even to my ears.
Ryan replied. "I mean, if it's too much trouble, Tammy..." He trailed off, raising his eyebrows.
I felt embarrassed. I mean I was making for myself anyways. I could add a few extra eggs.
"Umm...okay I can make extra I guess."
"Great, an omelette for me please." He smiled. Almost without meaning to, I grinned back. But as I turned I caught his eyes moving down my body and I knew he would be staring at my ass.
I tried to forget about it as I prepared his omelette. I was already whisking the eggs when I realized this was more than my simple plan of making extra scrambled eggs.
"Throw some sauteed vege's in there too, alright? And lots of eggs - 4 or 5."
It annoyed me but I was already in it at this point. "Sure..." I tried to sound reluctant but it may have simply come out petulant.
I bent over to grab the peppers from the bottom drawer in the fridge, and as I was fully bent over I felt a pinch on my ass.
I squealed and straightened up, spinning around. Ryan was grinning widely, and looked so amused that I found my anger dissipating and instead started giggling. "Stop that!" I replied, still giggling.
"I just can't help myself when I see something so perfect." Ryan grinned.
I felt my face flush red and I turned around again...ugh. What the hell was up with my reaction to this ass hole.
I finished Ryan's omelette and slid it in front of him. I watched as he ate it quickly, feeling a weird sense of pride. My eyes trailed down his broad shoulders and over his huge pecs as he ate.
Ryan wiped his mouth and fixed me with a stare. "Delicious."
I grinned back. "Thanks!" I said, cheerily. I was suddenly in a good mood.
"Let's make it an every-morning thing."
...and there went my mood.
"By the way, weren't you going to have some eggs yourself, Tammy?"
"It's Tom." I answered, sullen again. I got started, finally, on my own eggs. Ryan didn't leave though, and I felt his eyes on my backside.
I don't know what caused me to say it, but I felt like I needed to prove myself somehow. "I'm going on a date today." It was a bit of an overstatement...
"Are you now? What's his name?"
I shot him an angry glance over my shoulder around but Ryan had his hands up as if pretending to fend off blows. "Just joking, Tammy...Just joking."
I shook my head and turned back around. "Diane."
"Ahh...you're ex. Tracy told me about her. I thought she was kind of...a bitch?"
"She's...she's not...she and Tracy didn't alway see eye-to-eye."
"Uh huh. Well, I'm gonna get ready for my run. You enjoy your 'date.'" He seemed to say the word mockingly.
I turned around and was surprised to find him leaning slightly over the counter. He brought a hand to my face and softly grazed his thumb along my cheekbone. My eyes both widened and fluttered at the same time.
"I'll see you later, Tammy." He said softly. He had a knowing, penetrating look. His face was so close to mine. So handsome...I swallowed.
Then he turned and walked out. I stood frozen, blinking in confusion.
---
I finished eating and was just finishing my dishes when I heard Tracy come down the stairs. As usual lately she was dressed in a revealing and suggestive outfit. My eyes took in her full cleavage and toned legs.
She glanced around quickly, barely noticing me.
"Good morning, dear." I said, half mockingly - knowing she was looking for Ryan.
She replied with a sullen "morning..."
"I received a call from the college today." She straightened and looked at me, her eyebrows raised. That got her attention.
"Really? Why?"
"It was the registrar. Apparently that class you couldn't get into until next year has an open spot for this semester."
"Really!? Journalism in the Digital Age? Oh man that class is taught by a writer for the Times! I thought" Finally, I saw a glimpse of the daughter I knew well. The one I respected.
"Yep. Only problem is that they need to fill the slot today but the professor won't add anyone to his class who he hasn't met...in person"
"Umm..okay. Well I could go meet him today?"
"I was thinking the same thing. But it'll be a bit of a drive...he lives in Ottawa."
"Crap! That's 4 hours away!"
"Yep. You'd better get going."
She hesitated. Her eyes darted upwards. I tried to keep my fury under control. She was questioning whether to go because she'd have to give up a single day of fawning over Ryan. Of course that was the whole point - I had to pull a few strings to arrange this "emergency" with the school, after all.
"Tracy..." I said, a warning in my tone. "What's keeping you? Do you have something else to do today...?"
She looked at me, and the petulance was back. But she slumped her shoulders in resignation. "I guess not. Okay I'll go."
She turned and walked towards the stairs. I yelled after her "You're welcome!!"
About 15 minutes later she was out the door after I gave her the address to go to. Soon after, I heard Ryan heading out for his jog, alone.
I sipped my coffee with a grin on my face, and thought about my afternoon with Diane.
--
I arrived at the coffee shop at 1:45, not wanting to be late. I wore a blue sweater and jeans and thought I looked pretty good. I waited.
And waited.
