One day, I saw a figure go by the frosted glass in my bathroom window, and knew that someone was heading for my front door.
I opened it and there stood a man of slight stature, though wiry and sun-browned. His hair was pulled back into a pony tail. He had on a worn, sleeveless white tee shirt.
I liked Ronnie from the start. He'd moved with his small family into the trailer across the street from me.
His hands stuffed into his jeans pockets, he looked off over the fields beyond. When he turned toward me, his green eyes were searching and confident, and unafraid.
"Hey. Name's Ronnie." he said offering his hand.
"Jim... I'm Jim." I said, nervously.
His hand was warm and strong. It was a hand that knew work.
"Pleasure." Ronnie said, "Just moved in, as I'm sure you noticed."
"Well, welcome!" I said. "It's quiet hereabouts. I hope you'll like it, you and your family."
"One that's about to get bigger." Ronnie said.
"Sorry? Bigger...?"
"My family. Maddy's with child now. Figurin' on first week of December." he said.
"Ah! Congratulations! Does that make... what, four of you?"
"Yeah." Ronnie said, turning so that the afternoon sun caught the side of his face. His beard was soft and wispy, and blew gently in the transient gusts.
"Yeah. There's me, Maddy, Olive, and the new one." Ronnie said.
"Nice, nice." I said, feeling at a loss for further words.
"Oh! Reason I stopped by, well, besides for meeting you, is I'm gonna be making a bit of noise on my place momentarily." he said, gesturing with a flip of his head toward the property.
"Takin' down a tree."
"Well, saw away. I won't be bothered. But thanks for letting me know." I said.
Ronnie lowered his elbows onto the deck railing, and looked out over the fields.
"Lots of space back here. That's nice." Ronnie said, squinting into the sun.
"That's all land owned by Dan Crebbs. He farms it." I said, feeling again, as I did, an appreciation for the open space.
"You got a family?" Ronnie said, still scanning the treeline in the distance. It was a question that never failed to trouble me. When you're single, never married, living a solitary life, people will sometimes make assumptions. I needed to be careful.
"Nah. Not now, at least." I said, trying to sound casual. "I had a girl before I moved here." I said, wishing Ronnie would take the bait. He did.
"Where you from?" Ronnie said, turning toward me and resting his back on the railing.
I suddenly realized I'd been standing in the doorway holding the door open the whole time. I stepped out onto the decking.
"Oakland... Bay Area."
"Right across from San Francisco, isn't it?" Ronnie said.
Actually, I had lived in the Castro District of San Francisco for nearly eight years. I don't think I've ever been to Oakland.
"They've got a lot of gays in that city. I mean a bunch!" Ronnie said, chuckling and shaking his head.
"Yes, San Francisco is known for that. Oakland is a more normal city." I said, laughing inwardly and bitterly at my hypocrisy. As we stood there, I took in what I could of Ronnie. And it was a pleasure to do so. Partly, it was his nonchalance, his carefree way of draping himself against the deck railing, for instance. And then, I was struck by the outdoorsy aura he conveyed. I had the sense he knew a good bit more besides what side of the tree the moss grows on. All-in-all, a straight shooting, confident, masculine country man.
The sawing did go on for more than an hour, so I was relieved when it stopped. I heard something and looked up from my crossword. Was it a voice? Then, more distinctly:
"Ah, shit! Goddamn fuckin'...."
It was Ronnie. When I got to the road, I saw him bent over and clutching his hand to his chest. I ran toward him.
"You okay? What happened." I asked, noting the stupidity of at least the firsy part of my query.
Ronnie was still grimacing and holding his hand close to him. "Let me see." I said.
Ronnie slowly uncurled his fingers. There was a gash going from the base of the thumb, across the wrist. Blood was oozing out of it pretty good, but I could see it was containable.
"Shit!" Ronnie said, examining the wound.
"Hey, Jim, could I doctor this up at your place? I don't want Maddie seeing this, her being in a delicate way."
"Sure, sure... Come on. I've got all kinds of first aid stuff."
Ronnie sat at the kitchen table clutching a wad of paper towels to his hand as I rounded up gauze bandages, peroxide, and antibacterial ointment. Laying these out on the table, I fetched a wash basin, and placed it at Ronnie's feet. I doused the wound with the peroxide, letting the excess fall into the basin.
While I worked, I could smell Ronnie's body scent which, though it hinted at several days of not showering, I found strangely appealing. His feet were spread to either side of the basin, and I squatted between them treating the wound.
"I sure appreciate this." Ronnie said, his breath catching as the peroxide fizzed in the cut.
As I worked, I noticed Ronnie looking about the room.
"Got a nice place here, Jim." he said, taking in the orderly kitchen. I am an avid cook, and have all kinds of culinary equipment. Copper pots hung from hooks along the wall. The stove was a commercial grade Montague I bought used.
"Looks like you could be a chef, or something." he said as I taped the bandage firmly in place. I realized that I had been holding the rough, brown hand gently in mine all the time. When I finished, I took a moment to turn the hand round in both of mine to inspect the work. I was doing that, but also enjoying the feel of the warm, masculine hand. It had been a while since i'd been so close to someone.
"Oh, I've worked as a cook. It's a passion of mine." I said, releasing the hand and standing. I had, in fact, put in a few years behind stoves in a few restaurants. But most of my working life had been spent as a waiter, a not uncommon occupation for a gay man.
"We do a lot in a slow cooker. You got one of those?" Ronnie said.
"I do, yes." I said. "They're great. just turn it on and come back in six hours." I said, laughing. Almost at once I worried that I was making sport of a process that required no skill at all, and possibly offending him.
"That's the beauty of it." Ronnie said, and I felt relieved.
Ronnie rose from his seat and felt his injured hand with the other.
"How's that feel?" I said.
"Not good as new, but pretty darn good. I guess you might have been a nurse at one time, too!" he exclaimed, flashing an appreciative smile.
"Hey, how about a beer?" I said. "It'll do you some good. Nurse's orders." I said laughing.
Thankfully, he accepted. I had been living in the trailer for four months by then, and, truth be told, Ronnie was my first 'guest'.
"Hell, why not. Won't be getting back to that tree anytime today." he said.
I invited Ronnie to sit in the leather recliner in the living room, and I rounded up the beers.
I placed an icy Sam Adams onto the coaster beside him, and took a seat on the couch. Ronnie took a long pull on the beer, leaned back, and sighed.
"Man, I could fall asleep in this thing." he said, stroking the supple arms of the chair. My eyes followed the path of his hands.
"I do that on a regular basis." I said, continuing to discreetly watch. I put my feet up on the couch and leaned into the corner of it.
"Won't your wife be wondering about you?" I asked, feeling a kind of pleasure in referencing his marital status. I could tell he was a man who would never be wanting for a woman beside him in his bed.
"Maddy? She probably thinks I wandered off somewhere."
He held up the afflicted limb, examining it.
"Sure glad you were here to help, friend. Maddy's a strong woman, but her being with child makes her real sensitive, you know, and who knows how she could've reacted."
"Yes", I said, "I've heard that can be the case... being more emotional, I mean."
I suppose I had heard that somewhere, but I just wanted to keep the conversation going.
Ronnie emptied the beer and set the bottle down.
"Fact is, she's sort of turned inward. I guess, like any other guy, I don't have a notion what motherhood is about, what it feels like. I do know that when we go to bed at night, she just wants to curl up and sleep. Bit frustrating, if you know what I mean." he said, giving me a raised eyebrow and a resigned look.
"Sure, sure I do." I said, imagining him lying beside his wife with a throbbing erection while she slumbered away. Immediately, I wrenched my thoughts elsewhere, and the sudden arousal I'd felt began to ebb.
"Have another?" I said.
"If you are." Ronnie said, working the lever of the chair and tilting back. I was off to the kitchen at once, and rounded up two more. I returned to find Ronnie elevating his arm.
"Son of a bitch is hurting. If I don't hold it up, it throbs awful." he said, wincing.
I went to a cabinet and dug out a bottle of 12 year old bourbon from the back of it.
"This could help." I suggested, and waited for Ronnie's response. He looked at the label appreciatively.
"Couldn't hurt, partner. sure couldn't hurt." he said.