My Silence Will Cost You

This story was dreamt up over the past few months and is the sole property of me. The characters in this story are at least 18 years of age and none of this happened in real life, only in my filthy mind and soon to be yours. This is our final chapter of this series, we sincerely thank you for reading it and hope you will leave us a comment. Enjoy.

WARNING: This story will contain bullying, sexual coercion, and blackmail. If this is a potential trigger for you or not your cup of tea, then I highly recommend you move on.

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Chapter 6: After the fight, hate fucking or make up sex... or...?

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Thunder claps so loud it makes me jump nearly out of my chair as the room lights up. This storm must be on top of us to get the thunder and lightning to hit nearly instantaneously. Fuck, where is he? He stormed out nearly two hours ago and he hasn't answered my text messages or my phone calls. Yes, I called him.

I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. He could turn me in for RAPE! Was that what I did? I mean, holy hell! I am doomed. Shit, I know I slammed him that he'd end up being a used car salesman (if he was lucky) after cheating, but FUCK. I would be LUCKY to sell cars after going to prison for 20 years! OMG, he has to answer my texts. I just need to know that he is OK. He was not in a good place when he stormed out.

I swear I just saw the three dots come up to indicate he was texting me. But just as soon as I saw them, they vanished. Is he OK? Is he hurt? SHIT! SHIT SHIT!

What the fuck is happening to me? How the hell have I become this monster? What have I done to my life? My family? Oh my god, what is my mom going to say? Shit, my dad's career will be over! No way he gets re-elected. My parents will disown me. What have I fucking done?

Shit, where is he? Why isn't he answering my text? Where would he go?

At the height of my freak out I hear Phillip and Max return to their room. Apparently, we left both doors open in the bathroom. All the lights are off in our room as I make my way over to the bathroom... and HOLY SHIT!

Phillip has Max pushed up against the counter as he is kissing him! WTF? These guys are gay? How the hell did I miss that? Christ! I have the best gaydar around and I missed that the guys I share a shitter with are GAY?

"Oh, hey Sean! We didn't know you were home," Phillip says and he remains holding Max.

"Oh, hey... guys. Holy shit, I didn't know you guys were together!" I say both surprised and happy for them.

"What? Really? I mean we roomed together freshman year, we came out together, and then started dating. Cliche, I know, but it worked," Max says, leaning in and kissing Phillip.

"Wow, that is great! Really! I'm so happy for you guys!" Completely astonished that I didn't recognize this! How in the world?

"We just came back to dry off and change clothes as we got caught in the rain but we have to go and get some dinner. You want us to bring you something back, or maybe come with us?"

"That is super sweet, ummm no. I need to hang out here. Kyle and I had a bit of a fight and I need to be here when he gets back to apologize and try to repair this."

Phillip looks at Max with a knowing smile.

"What?" I say to them as they are clearly communicating telepathically.

Max shakes his head in the affirmative and Phillip says quietly, "We know you guys have been fooling around and that it is... well, complicated."

"Whoa, whoa. Just what exactly do you guys think you know?" I say with a quick light and awkward laugh, kinda freaked out frankly.

"Look, that wall is not as sound proof as you guys think," Phillip says matter of factly.

"And you guys are SO not as quiet as you think you are," Max says and then adds, "And the shower is basically an echo chamber, so anything you even whisper in there we hear. That drunk night I bent Phillip over his desk and fucked him as you guys got off in the shower together!"

"And then just this afternoon as Kyle fucked you in the shower!" Phillip interjects, "Max fucked me up against the wall and then we went to meet up with friend."

"Wow," I say, "I had no idea, boys. Well, I am happy for you and damn that is kinda hot knowing you have been banging right next door." I say this and step a bit closer to them, wanting to grab my shower kit from the bathroom sink.

"Shit, Sean - is that blood on your neck?" Phillip says to me in a soft, caring voice as they both take a step toward me. "And you have a black eye, Sean! What the fuck did that asshole do to you?"

"Shit, look... guys... It's... we just... It's completely my fault." I can feel myself start to cry. "We had a fight... It was awful. I pushed things too far. I'm an asshole."

"Fuck that, he never should have hit you! We are going to call campus police!" Max says as he makes a move to reach for his phone on the counter.

"No! Oh God, no. Don't do that. Seriously, I am to blame for this. Please. Just let me try to deal with this. Please, seriously guys. It means the world to me that you want to help and that you want to protect me, but seriously, let me at least try to fix things and I will let you know. OK?" They look at each other and Max nods at me.

"We can cancel our plans tonight and stay home in case you need us," Phillip offers.

"Oh no, you don't need to do that. I will be surprised if he even comes back here tonight with how mad he was. But look, add your phone numbers to my phone here," handing them my phone, "And I promise I will call or text if there is even a sign of problems."

"No, you text us if he comes home, and we will come back and be here just in case," Max says quite forcefully and adds, "We can't play around with some gay panic straight jock fucking around with any of us. It's clear he has issues."

Phillip demures a bit and places the phone back in my hand and holds it a minute. "We are here for you. I don't like that we haven't been before this, but..." he looks over at Max, "this is new for both of us and we are just learning our way here."

"Thanks guys, now you go and have fun and I will text you if anything happens or if he returns," I say to them with a forced smile.

The boys head out and I go back and sit down on my bed, pulling open my text messages and seeing that Kyle still hasn't responded.

While there I text Max and Phillip...

Me: Thanks guys u both are awesome

Me: I really needed that

Phillip: you bet

Phillip: Max says you really should ice your eye and cheek

Me: lol i was just thinking the same thing thx

After I return from running down several floors to grab some ice, I make myself a soft ice pack for my face. Aunt Nancy always says to be more careful with this area of your body since the skin is so thin you can do some underlying damage. I just know it feels so good to have this on my face. I have the ice in a ziplock bag inside the leg of a pair of my warmer sweats. Fuck, all my towels were dirty and I really need to do laundry.

I desperately craved my Golden Girls, but for whatever reason tonight they are running a Designing Women marathon. That works, that really works. I suppose I am an old soul, connecting so well with these women, or perhaps they were just meant to connect with the gay sensibility. Either way, listening to Julia Sugarbaker read any man to filth was just the kick in the pants I needed right now to keep my mind off of what just happened here.

11:50pm

Two hours have gone by since the boys headed out and still no sign of Kyle. I am still wide awake clearly still burning off the adrenaline and whatever other primitive reaction your body cooks up after having your ass handed to you. I stroll over to the bathroom to take a leak and looking in the mirror I can tell the cold pack helped. The swelling has started going down and the eye didn't get as bad as I thought it would.

I stare at myself in the mirror and I don't even know who I am looking at. Who is this guy who just manipulated and took advantage of this football jock? Damn it, he is my friend. He is my good friend... but I took advantage. Oh fuck. I have to stop spiraling. He needs to call me.

As I return to my phone, I see it flash. I see two minutes ago the boys texted me, likely to check up. Man, I wish we would have been closer sooner. Sucks that it takes THIS to happen to get us to break the ice.

Phillip: kyle is sitting on a bench soaking wet getting rained on here in girard park

Phillip: we tried to talk to him but he isn't responding to us

Phillip: should we stay with him? He doesn't seem right

Me: oh shit, ok. I am coming to you!

Phillip: [drops a pin for his location]

I quickly put on a jacket and grab an umbrella and just as I am about out the door I run back in and grab Kyle's last clean towel; he is going to be soaking wet and freezing.

I run faster than I have ever before, what if I really did break him? Shit, did I rape him? I mean he said to do it, he didn't tell me to stop! SHIT! I'm going to jail. He has got to be OK. If he is OK, then it is fine if I go to jail. I deserve it. I am reeling and getting closer to this bench that appears to be right along the running path by the pond.

I see Phillip's large red umbrella and know that must be them, standing at least one hundred yards from the bench, and then I see him. Kyle, that is unmistakably him and he is hunched over holding his head in his hands.

"Oh my god, thank you guys for finding him and letting me know!" I say to Phillip and Max as I lean in, knocking umbrellas and group hugging these guys.

"Sean, he was sitting up and as we kept calling his name and trying to get him to acknowledge us but he stared off into the distance looking at the pond," Phillip says in a really soft, caring voice.

"Dude, but when we told him you were coming," Max continues, "that is when he slumped down like this and he screamed to leave him alone. So we backed the fuck up to over here."

"Thanks guys, look, I am going to go and try to talk to him. I have to... this is all my fault and I think I pressured him into things he just didn't want to do... and that is ... well, that wasn't right and I need to make sure he is OK. I hope that I can repair this."

"Look, we are going to stay to make sure he doesn't get violent again, but go talk to him. He is freezing from this rain and is shivering," Max informs me. "And look, if you need to stay in our room tonight, we will make it work, OK? Just get him out of this weather!"

Shit, he has been in this rain for at least an hour and the temperature has only been dropping. I collapse my umbrella and I hand that and the oversized towel to Phillip asking him if he would hold onto these for me.

"Sure, but we are going to walk under that pavilion there so we can sit down and get out of some of this rain, but we will keep an eye on you." Phillip says pointing to the gazebo area with several picnic tables and key to their point a roof to shelter them from this rain. It was good that they were staying close enough to see us, but far enough away that I was going to be able to be honest with Kyle without sharing our business with everyone. I look back and see the boys watching me closely. Wow, who knew these guys were so caring and nice? Shit, I have been such an ass this semester!

The rain starts pelting me. Each drop feels like a steely pin prick hitting me as my body takes on a terrible chill. I have never been good with cold weather or cold anything really, other than beer. I have no padding whatsoever and so even a light chill rips through me. But this is next level. Not only is the rain cold but it feels as if freezing cold air radiates off Kyle as he sits slouched over, and, by the looks of his body, he is shivering terribly... or is he crying?

I get a bit closer and finally, I speak.

"Kyle, I am so sorry." He just keeps holding his head between his hands and slouched over as I can see that he is most certainly shivering.

"Kyle, we have to get you inside and out of this weather! Max and Phillip are under the gazebo over there and look you can have the room tonight to yourself - they said I can crash with them until I can get reassigned. You won't have to deal with me anymore."

He then erupts into sobbing. Yes, he is shivering, but now he is clearly crying as well. I take a few steps closer to him and I kneel down a bit trying to get a look at his face with no luck. I just want to hold him, to warm him up to make sure he is OK.

"Kyle, I so fucked up and I am so very sorry for that. I think somewhere between you moving in and us getting to know each other I started falling for you. I know we said that wasn't going to happen but, well, clearly I did," I say to him and then take a huge breath. "Kyle, what I did to you this afternoon was unforgivable, it was wrong and I am willing to turn myself into the authorities. Clearly, I raped you and there is no explaining that away."

Still no response from him. "Kyle, it doesn't matter what I forced you to say to me. I still coerced you into doing things you didn't want to do."

"YOU FUCKING DID! You fucking broke me you son of a bitch!" Kyle says as he is crying and near wailing in pain. "I am NOT GAY! I can NOT BE GAY!"

"Kyle, I am so sorry. But we have to get you out of this weather. Please? We have to get you warmed up!"

"Oh NOW you fucking care? NOW you give a shit about my well being? All of a sudden you care?" As he says this he shoots up and starts approaching me really fast.

"You fucking did this to me! You fucking asshole! Why didn't you just leave me alone?" He then for the first time looks up at me, sees my black eye and swollen face. He jumps up and comes at me quick and I jump up as well thinking he is going to beat my ass.

"Holy shit..." seeing my reaction, "No, I'm not going to hurt you. Holy shit, Sean! I did this to you? Holy shit! I am so sooo..." he just erupts into the worst ugly cry I have ever seen. His eyes were already red and puffy, but now he has tears running down his face and what appears to be snot running from his nose, like you have when you have been uncontrollably crying. "Sean, I am so fucking sorry, I should never have hit you... this is all my fault!"

"Kyle, no... it's..."

Kyle then erupts again and takes a lap around the bench throwing punches in the air, and now acting more mad.

"Kyle, this is my fault. I took this too far. I should have ended this a month ago when I realized this was too much and I second guessed all of this and deleted all the evidence I had against you. I was so wrong for doing that. Kyle I don't want to be that person... I am not..."

"Wait," he says in a cold, nearly withdrawn voice. "You got rid of the evidence on me weeks ago? Seriously?"

"Yes. I already knew that there was virtually no way I was ever going to use that information unless you were a total Jock Asshole making my life a complete hell. But from the day that I was able to really connect with you, something snapped inside me and I couldn't live with myself anymore, so I deleted it all from my phone and the cloud."

"So these last few weeks you had nothing on me?" he says and then starts laughing. "Like all this time there was no risk at all to me? That is so fucking twisted."

"I am so sorry Kyle, this is all my fault and I will do anything to try to repair this, I will turn myself in if I need to because I took this all too far."

"FUCK! This just can't be happening! It can't be! It's my fucking fault. Sean, I don't want to be a cheat! I don't want that for myself! Fuck!" He continues sobbing and starts to turn and walk, not away from me but apparently to just move. "Sean, I am not a fucking dumb jock! I am not!"

"I believe you, Kyle! I never thought you were..." I say trying to be consoling and taking a small half-step nearer to him, even though I knew he wasn't talking to me on this, he was talking to himself.

"But you don't you don't understand any of this!" he says then screams

"FUCK!"

as he speeds up his walk which seems to be nothing but pacing back and forth in the middle of the icy cold rain.

"Kyle, then let's go back to the room and talk! We are both freezing out here!" I say to him, and he just keeps pacing.

"This is so fucked up! I didn't want this to happen! I fucking didn't want this to happen! I have tried so fucking hard to not let it happen! Christ!"

"I am so sorry, Kyle. This isn't your fault, it is mine!" Damn, I have really broken this guy and he's a mess. He is having some kind of a meltdown or something. I have to get him back to the room and warm him up. That has to happen first; we can deal with the rest of this later.

"I'm going to lose everything! My family... fuck, all I wanted was to be a star football player... I wanted to make my Dad happy and show him I could follow in his footsteps," he says, still crying and starting to smack himself in the face.

"Kyle, you have to stop, you are hurting yourself. You can have all of that, nothing has changed."

"Everything has fucking changed, Sean!

Every. Fucking. Thing.

"

"Jesus, Kyle, I hate seeing you in pain like this. Look, I am going to move out tonight, I will pack up my shit and take what I can and move back into my parents' house and you will never have to see me again. I will be gone. I will turn myself in to campus police and admit to raping you and this can..."

"Wait. What? No! Fuck! You think THAT is what I want?" and Kyle gets PISSED!

"You are so fucking self centered! You think this is all about you? You think YOU did something wrong, you think YOU caused all of this, you think YOU are the bad guy in all of this?" Kyle says, and now he is making no sense at all in this tirade.

"Sean, as smart as you are, you are very stupid at times. Pay attention, dumbass!" He then pauses and looks at me with this cherub face and then rolls up on me really fast. He looks me right in the eye and takes my cheeks into his hands and kisses me. As his freezing cold lips make contact with mine, he reaches his hand behind my head and holds me in a deep kiss where his tongue is making an aggressive assault on my mouth and I gladly concede to his invasion.

Now I am super fucking confused!

"You dumbass!" Softly, he says, "I wanted every single thing that happened between us to happen. Every single thing," Kyle says as he comes back in for another kiss. Even as he says it and I can feel his body embracing me I can't process this. I just raped him only a few hours ago. This was a straight guy who I have witnessed chase girls for months. But now he's saying that he wanted all this...that he wanted ME?

"Kyle, this doesn't make any sense. You are straight, I see you chasing puss all the damn time!" I say to him, totally confused. I mean, this is exactly what I want, but now that I am getting it I can't believe it, and fuck if this isn't baffling my freezing skinny ass. The rain has certainly died down to just a light drizzle now and it has been at least 10 minutes since the last clap of thunder.

"Sean, from the moment I first saw your picture back in June, when we were given our room assignments, I was drawn to you. I requested not to be roomed with someone else from the football team. I knew I had to focus on my studies or else I would never make it to junior let alone senior year! And if I roomed with another jock, all we would do is party."

"So I got your photo and totally stalked you for a few days. Checking out your insta posts and being so impressed by your sketches. I could tell you were gay, and that excited me. Not in a sexual way, at first, but in a 'I wanna know more about this dude' way. Then it happened, I saw that you deep-liked one of my near-naked photos of me in a Speedo. I knew you were gay, and I knew you were checking me out. It became exciting. So I finally got up the courage to email you."