I've always had an affinity for older men, but these days it seems I'm either the older man or one of the older men involved when there's sex play. But recently I was fortunate to meet a man who at seventy-one made for the widest margin in age I'd been with in quite a while.
John and I met at a rehearsal for a school function in which my granddaughter and his great-grandson were involved. John was a widower who lived alone and my wife was out of town on a business trip that as sometimes happened spanned the weekend. My son, his wife and John's single parent grandson had to work that particular Saturday and that's how we came to meet that day. The rehearsal was about three hours long and John and I sat together talking the entire time. We talked about our families, careers, hobbies and such and found I enjoyed John's company very much and thought we could be good friends. The idea of a romantic relationship never entered my mind.
As the rehearsal was coming to a close I asked John "since we both seem to have a free evening would you like to have dinner with me?"
He said "that'd be nice" then gave me his address and we agreed on a time to meet.
We spoke a few minutes more then collected our grandchildren and parted company.
At the appointed time I picked John up at his home and we headed for the restaurant. The restaurant I chose was both upscale and old world and is owned by a close friend. It has a large dining room and along two walls are booths that are enclosed by heavy drapes that make for a cozy little nook where diners can have privacy. My friend, being the discreet fellow that he is sat us in one of these nooks.
We had delightful conversation along with our meal and the wine we shared. John talked about his wife and their long marriage saying they'd been married forty-three years when she'd passed on.
I expressed "you must have felt a great loss having been together for so long. I've been married to the same women more the thirty years and can't begin to understand the loss I'd feel if she goes before I do."
We talked more during the main course then between dinner and dessert John said "my wife's passing did bring some relief in that I no longer had to lead a double life." After saying this he looked into my eyes from over the rim as he drank from his wine glass.
I asked "what do you mean by double life?"
John hesitated a moment then said "look, I had great affection for my wife throughout our marriage, I loved her deeply. But somehow always felt I was meant to lead a different life."
Thinking about what he'd said for a moment I told him "I understand."
Looking at me very seriously he asked "do you?"
I replied "Yes, I do. Being open about ones sexuality today while no cakewalk is comparatively easier then your generation had it. You folks had a more difficult time because it was necessary to be more discreet, underground and "in the closet"."
When I used these buzz words John visibly relaxed, nodded and smiled.
Leaning forward, my arms crossed in front of me lying on the table, I said "it's easy for me to understand John because I've known I was bi-sexual since I was very young. And I don't mean bisexual like a lot of men do who toss the word out there to justify their occasional flings with another man, but mean bisexual in the truest definition of the word, not preferring one sex over the other, but both equally. Even today not many people, including my wife, knew of my sexuality."
We sat in silence for a few minutes as the waiter poured the last of the wine into our glasses. When we were once again alone John shared a small piece of his story with me.
"I grew up in a rural area where "town" was just a few blocks of stores, businesses, church and school. The town was so small that City Hall, the post office, the grocery store and the only gas station in town were all in the same building. Most of the people, like my family, lived on the surrounding farms."
"My mother was loving, caring and attentive enough to me and my two older brothers and sister but my father was cold and distant and seldom even spoke to me except to get on me about school or something else or the other. I don't think we ever had a real conversation my entire life."
"When I was ten the man who owned the drugstore, Mr. Morgan, took me under his wing and gave me a job after school making deliveries, even bought me a bike to do it. I did chores around the store like sweeping and stocking the shelves then when I was a little older he let me work behind the soda fountain counter."
"He was always very nice to me, doing things for me and almost from the beginning Mr. Morgan would often call me back into the pharmacy area to help fill prescriptions when I wasn't too busy out front. I never mixed any of the drugs but would get the bottles from the shelves for him as he did. He always took the time to explain everything he knew about the drugs he was working with, what they were for, how they'd react together, how some if you used too much of a certain kind would be a poison rather then make you better. I learned a lot from him and when I graduated from school he helped me get into college, my goal was to become a pharmacist, which turned out to be my life's work."
"When I was nineteen and away at college Mr. Morgan passed away and because he had no family he left the store and his other property to me. So after I graduated I felt I owed him something and reopened the drugstore staying until the late sixties when a small family owned drugstore like mine could no longer compete with the big national stores. So I moved here with Elaine, who I'd married in 1957 and our kids and went to work for one of those national companies."
When John was finished I sat silent for a moment then said "sounds like Mr. Morgan changed the course of your life."
John responded "Yeah, I guess I would have ended up on the farm like my brothers did if it hadn't been for him."
By this time we'd finished our dinner and wine and had coffee and dessert. I paid the tab, thanked my friend for having provided a wonderful meal, wine and atmosphere and John and I left.
On the drive to John's home he asked "would you like to come in for another drink?"