I had slowly been working up my courage on Grindr. At first just lurking with a blank profile. Then adding my stats: male, 20, 5'8", 145. Then adding a bio: sub bottom looking for right now. Then adding butt and body pics.
So far I had chickened out at each stage. Ghosting people who messaged me. Ghosting people who asked for pics. Ghosting people who asked for face pics. Ghosting people who sent me their location. I would flake, and then get frustrated that I flaked. Over and over.
Until one night I found a profile of a couple looking for a bottom. Both were fit guys in their 40s. Their bio said they were a happy couple, both tops, who occasionally like to rent a hotel room and find a nice bottom to fuck. If this had been my first time on Grindr, I would have simply admired from afar, fantasized about a hookup, jacked off, and called it a night.
But I was tired of my constant backing out. And my roommate was out of town, so I wouldn't have to make up some story about where I was going. And downtown, where their hotel was likely to be, was within walking distance to me. Stress from school had me so worked up I was ready to burst. I knew I really wanted this. I needed this. So I decided that I would cross any barriers necessary and finally make this happen.
We messaged back and forth. I sent them my artfully crafted thirst trap pictures proving that I deserved the "bubblebutt" tag. Both of them were surprisingly tall and muscular. Just seeing their shirtless pics made my skin and face flush. They asked for a face pic. Something I never sent before. But I had made the decision.
Of course, for them, it was no big deal. They simply messaged 'handsome' and eventually sent me a location and a time. 'One of us will meet you in the lobby at 9:30pm.'
It was only 7:30pm when I got that message. Two hours to kill. Two hours to let my horniness simmer. I tried to distract myself with tv and video games, but my eyes kept drifting toward the time and my mind kept imagining the possibilities. So I spent too much time preparing, using my douche and riding my dildo. The hardest part was not touching my dick. I knew that if I masturbated and came, I would lose all motivation and bail out yet again.
Eventually, it got to 9:00pm, so I walked out of my apartment with a little backpack full of condoms and lube. It was a nice night and I made it to the hotel at 9:15pm. Instead of awkwardly sitting in the lobby, I walked around a bit more. I thought it would relax me, but it just filled me with even more anticipation. I was almost shaking when I finally decided to push my way through the lobby at 9:31pm.
It was empty. I looked around and accidentally made eye contact with a receptionist.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
No thanks, I thought, I'm just here to get railed by two men twice my age, thanks.
I managed an articulate "Uhhh", when, thankfully, one of the men walked out of the elevator, saw me, and waved me over. He was tall, dark skinned, and had a big smile and an energetic demeanor. He motioned toward the hotel bar.
"Can I get you a drink?" He asked.
"Oh, well, I mean I would like that, but..."