I left Devon after compiling a list of groceries we needed for the upcoming week. As I drove to the grocery my mind was filled with thoughts, thoughts of what I had done (twice now), thoughts of what he called me, what I called myself now, thoughts of what will talk about when I get back, thoughts of why I was cumming and not even touching myself.
I mean I'm no different than any other guy, I masturbate and probably masturbate too much but the feeling and the intensity of how I orgasmed with Devon. There is no good way to even put it into words, incredible, amazing, unbelievable, so strong, so all consuming.
I parked and started to get out of the car, when I realized I was hard again and not even giving it a thought I was wearing shorts, which made it obvious. I am not even thinking straight with what has happened the last few days.
I told myself to focus on what I needed to be doing, pushed my dick down between my legs and went into the grocery. It was busy but I hurriedly started gathering the items we needed, there were a lot of people closer to my age shopping, it must be the college shopping day I thought to myself.
As I was walking the aisles my mind kept going back to what had happened, what I was feeling, how did I get where I am now. I decided I would focus on any cute women I happened to see while shopping, just like I always did. And there were a few very attractive women shopping, I have always been of the notion that girls dress to be noticed and as a male I should provide them the reward and smile and acknowledge I noticed how attractive they were without coming across as a creep.
I was following my own advice or commitment to doing so and had smiled at a couple of the girls I noticed. One of the girls was in the produce section and sorting through cucumbers, I noticed her, smiled warmly but was surprised when I noticed her holding them in her hand. My mind went directly to holding Devons' cock in much the same way. Feeling it in my hand, its hardness, its warmth. What the hell was I thinking, I was noticing a pretty girl and my mind decided to go to Devon, I had to get a hold of myself, my thoughts. I tried to quickly finish my shopping and get back to have the discussion he and I had agreed to have.
When I returned, of course I carried in and put away all the groceries. I went into Devons' room and let him know I was finished if he was ready to talk.
"Thanks for everything you are doing, I appreciate it more than you know. Are you ok if I shower first?"
As much as I wanted to just talk and figure things out, I agreed and helped him to the restroom. We both undressed and I tried hard not to even look at his cock, just get the shower over with and have our talk.
I couldn't help but think how either of us just stripped down naked to get in the shower together, as if it was nothing. But I could easily rationalize that it was simply needed due to the circumstances we found ourselves in.
Devon and I stepped into the shower, and he began showering as I stood to the side until I was needed, I watched as the water cascaded over his body, he was an athlete and very toned, his chest was what people refer to as sculpted, defined muscles in his arms and legs. It was easy to see why he had the confidence he had with women and why they were attracted to him.
Good lord, what am I doing, I'm talking about my friend as if I was looking at a woman. He asked if I could help, which brought me back to reality quickly. With his leg there were just certain areas that made it hard for him to reach. I said yes of course and took the bar of soap and started washing his opposite leg of the broken leg and his back.
My hard dick accidentally bumped against his leg, he jerked himself away quickly and said, "don't ever let that touch me again."
I apologized and told him it was an accident, but I felt really bad, why did he react like he did. I finished helping and exited the shower, drying off and quickly dressing so I could help him out and get dressed.
After helping him out of the shower and assisting with him getting his clothes back on I was ready to talk. Unfortunately, his mom called so it would need to wait a little longer. I did overhear him tell his mom that I was taking very good care of him, above and beyond is how he described it.
He finished his conversation with his mom and came out into the common area and sat on the couch, asking if I was ready to talk. I sat down on the opposite end and told him yes I was.
He asked if I wanted to start, and I asked how his conversation with his parents was.
"It was great, and I was very complimentary of you and how you have helped me."
I said, Devon I know we have a lot to talk about but when I was helping you in the shower and accidentally rubbed against you, why did it seem to make you so angry?
"I probably overreacted a little and for that I'm sorry. But the truth is I'm not a cocksucker and I have no desire to have that part of you touching me in any way. I have no issue with you being a cocksucker and I am happy to help you with that need, but there is not a gay bone in my body."
Not only did he just reiterate that I was a cocksucker but he implied that I was gay, which I am not. I felt anger briefly and wanted to emphatically correct him, but we needed to finish our talk. Devon I don't think it's a need at all, it's just something that happened for whatever reason.
Smiling he said, if it isn't a need or something that you desire, why has it happened twice? Why were you even hard in the shower, nothing was happening? Why do you admit you are cocksucker? I'm sure you can see it from my viewpoint."
I was going to stand my ground, get it all out, now was the time. I'm not sure why it has happened twice, it just happened. I'm not sure why I was hard in the shower, maybe because I have cum twice but not even touched myself. I admitted I was a cocksucker because I did suck your cock twice as you pointed out.
"You are telling me that my cock really doesn't have any impact on you? That it just happened. Is that correct?"
Yes Devon I am really trying to just be honest, to really work through this and the only way I see that happening is if we are both honest.
"I agree and I will be as honest as you are trying to be, let's just work through it and if it isn't something you need it shouldn't matter if I sit here with my cock out while we talk, are you ok with that?"
With that he took off his shorts and sat with his cock completely naked as we talked. I will admit it was a distraction, but this needed to happen.
"So where do you want this go, what is it you think we need to do? You are a cocksucker, I am not and will never be, so there is no way you will ever have me touching you. I already told you , you are the best cocksucker I have ever been with and I am fine with it continuing. You seem to stay hard; you seem to be experiencing strong orgasms, you seem to be enjoying it as much or more than I am."
I really wasn't sure myself or how to answer it. But as he was telling me about sucking him he was growing harder. It was at that moment I had to get ahold of myself and straighten my life out.
"Devon, I have said all along that it was something that just happened, but this is not what I want, not what I am, not what I have ever been. It needs to stop."
Typical Devon, he smiled and said I understand and as I have promised all along what happened will always remain between us.
I just said thank you and left his room. I felt better, mentally tired but overall better. In the solitude of my room, it gave me the chance to think through everything and I did feel more at ease.
It was time for me to get myself and my life back on track. I was a man; I was attracted to women, and I didn't care much for the cocksucker name although it is in fact what I had done. Tomorrow was a new day and I was looking at it exactly as that.
