Mr. Meyer Maes a Man Out of Me

My nightmare--hell, the worst nightmare of pretty much any teenage boy--was coming true.

Gym class hell.

God help me.

Growing up as kid back in the 80s, I was... well... skinny. Gangly.

Skangly

, I guess. All elbows and knees with toothpick-limbs holding them together. I was hardly friendless, but I was naturally quiet, even on the shy side. Especially with strangers. Which was made worse by the fact that I raised by a single mom who tried to manage every detail of my life with all the obsession of a chihuahua on Adderall.

In other words, I was a neurotic wimp.

Worse, I was on the cusp of manhood. An 18-year-old senior set to graduate at the end of the year. Theoretically, I was ready to grab life by the horns and make my mark on the world. Yet I was completely unready to defend myself if anyone messed with me.

Yeah... some "manhood."

Given all this, I was terrified about being bullied into oblivion by any of the other guys who had their lives together, especially the jocks in gym class. I know bullying is obviously a problem today, but back then the bullying was done with brutal, no-holds-barred, Leviticus-levels of torment.

My usual defense was to hide as much as I could. Vanish into the carpeting. Oh, I know I was earning no points for bravery, but my long-range hope was the big, massive jocks who went around terrorizing people would overlook me and vent their fury on someone else.

But today was the kind of day that made that strategy utterly impossible.

At the start of the new school year, our gym teachers did a few days of testing to set a benchmark for performance over the course of the year. Essentially, every single student would need to submit to public evaluation on how well they could complete a range of physical tasks: how many sit-ups you could do, how many pushups, how fast you could run an obstacle course, and so on.

I had been active as a kid growing up; but in my gangly state, there was no way I could possibly run with the jocks.

Worst of all, everyone had to demonstrate these skills in front of everyone. There was no way to hide, no way to avoid showing your frailties in front of Every. One. Else. In. Fifth. Period. Gym.

Everyone

would see how much of a physical failure I was.

My one strategy for survival was that by hanging back at each apparatus to the end, I could usually count on the fact that everyone who had gone before me was completely bored with the process, and I could squeak by without anyone really caring. It was a risky strategy, born of desperation, but it was all I had.

Well, it was my turn up the bar to do chin-ups. And I was terrified. This was the worst of the worst for me; I was generally fast and had decent core strength, but my puny little arms were an unending source of embarrassment. Ugh.

Worst of all, the monitor was... Mr. Meyer. Crap. Gym teachers sometimes have the reputation of being washed out has-beens with a beer gut, who delighted in making kids do all kinds of physical activity that would leave themselves winded.

Mr. Meyer wasn't like that at all. He was the jockiest jock that jocks prayed to so they could receive the blessings of divine jockdom. He was a machine.

I didn't really know much about him, which made him all the more intimidating. He had an amazing body, as if the major leagues were about to call him up to pitch in the starting rotation in the World Series. Worse, he was... like,

handsome

. The kind of guy who could easily star as the new James Bond movie. If someone ever printed a poster of Mr. Meyer shirtless, I'm sure half the jocks would have ripped down Farrah Fawcett and put him up in her place.

His age? I mean, from a highschooler's perspective, he was an "adult," and that could be anything from 20 to 50. I think he was like an Assistant Athletic Director, so he didn't teach as much as some of the other colleagues. But I did see him around in the gym teachers' locker room. I know that he taught a few gym classes, and was an Assistant Coach for... something. And that every female in the school drooled over him, and drew obscene doodles about him in notes they passed around with each other. Teachers and students alike.

His bare existence made me feel like the clumsiest, scrawniest, most hopeless idiot in the universe. Unworthy in every way.

So,

of course

he was going to be the official chronicler of my miserable performance on my weakest skill.

I had no choice. Dead last, there was nowhere to hide. I slithered up to the apparatus, desperate no not make any sudden move that might draw someone's eye. I jumped up, grabbing it....

...and promptly humiliated myself. Even by my own timorous standards.

Part of the problem is that to build momentum, I kicked my legs wildly to the side. Right where Mr. Meyer was standing. Getting him good in the gut. He instinctively doubled over, and looked up at me. I met his eyes. His eyes.

His eyes.

Something... some feeling... rushed through me, and my body... quit. I could feel myself losing my grip, and like a slow-mo assassination scene, I let go... and crumpled to the floor.

Oh God. Oh God. OhGodohGodohGodohGod. My life was over. I had humiliated myself in the worst possible way, in front of the worst possible audience.

Panic. Oh God. Did anyone see? See that I didn't even do

one

stupid chin-up before

dropping off the bar

? OhGodohGodohGod. I turned to flee. Flee for my life. With whatever was left of my tattered dignity and the wreckage of my miserable existence.

But it got worse. I heard his voice. A warm, ringing baritone. Him. He was talking to me.

"Son, hold on a second. Could you come here?"

OhGodohGodohGod.

More dead than alive, my head bowed to hide my burning shame, I shuffled back to him. My panicked gaze dancing every which way, seeing if anyone was watching. So far, so good... I think everyone left in the area was caught up in the rapt conversations of teenagers. Oblivious.

I stood before him. Afraid to acknowledge his--or my--existence.

"Son, that didn't really go too well, did it?"

I shook my head.

"Can you... do... any chin-ups?"

God. Why was he doing this? Why was he cornering me? Forcing me to publicly admit to my failure? Why couldn't he leave me alone?

"Son?"

I numbly shrugged. Anything to end this mortifying spectacle.

"That's a problem, isn't it? Don't you want to grow up strong?"

"...I..."

"The other boys are doing good, don't you want to be like your friends?"

"...I..." What the...?

Friends

? Somewhere underneath my humiliation, I was starting to get mad. So now I wasn't good enough to have friends, or something?!?

"Don't you want to be able to... live your life like a real man? To... move furniture, do your job?"

What was he saying?? God, stop already. I get it. I'm worthless. Go to hell... leave me alone...

"Don't you think...."

"SHUT UP."

I snapped. I was hissing violently. All the rage, humiliation, and frustration of my whole stupid life boiling up and roaring past all my defenses. Somehow, I was speaking up, for what may have been the first time in my entire life.

Mr. Meyer looked blankly at me, and blinked twice.

"Don't you think I know how pathetic I am??" I hissed. "Don't you think I know I'm a loser? Don't you think I live every moment terrified that... oh, the football team, the wrestling team... hell, the

debate

team isn't going make my life a living hell, every single day? ESPECIALLY in the locker room, where I live every day of my life in terror that I'm gonna be thrown into my locker? Or that they'll drag me into one of the bathroom stalls and give me a swirly?"

Mr. Mayer seemed to recover from his shock and catch his footing. "Easy, there, son. Calm down. If you're worried about the other boys, why not do something to build strength? Why not try out for a team? That's a great way to get into shape and to...."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?" I didn't know I could whisper so loud. "Don't you think I

want

to be in shape??!? But the first time I go out for a team, any team, every idiot on the sidelines is going to see just how pathetic I am. I'll be the biggest laughingstock of all! Laughed off the line, and then thrown into a locker or given a swirly. And after I'm gone, at every practice 'til the end of time, they'll gather and tell the story about that one time That Pathetic Loser tried out and made a fool out of himself. Look! I don't know what I'm doing! I don't know what to do! I can't get started until I'm in shape, and I can't get in shape until I get started. What do you all want with me!!?!"

At this point I was nearly in tears. Years of frustration and self-loathing boiling up, unstoppable. I just wanted to run. Run and never stop.

I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder. A big, meaty hand... surprisingly strong. Surprisingly gentle. I looked up, but Mr. Meyer had leaned down, to better look me in the eye. "Can your dad work with you? I'm sure he'd love to throw a ball, teach you a few things...."

"He's gone." I was biting off each word. "Divorced my mom when I was six, moved out east. My brother is older, out of the house, in college. And he's always hated me for ruining the good thing he had going as being the only child. It's just me and my mom who's terrified that I'm gonna grow up to be like my dad."

"Oof," he gently exhaled. Mr. Meyer looked down, not saying a word for a minute. Well, what for me felt like a 100-year-long minute. His big hand still holding my shoulder. Strongly... with a kind of effortless strength. He looked back up at me. "What's your name, son?"

"Troy."

"Well Troy? It looks like you're marching off to manhood without anyone to show you the ropes. No one should have to do that alone." There was a long pause. A very long pause. "Maybe I can help."

I looked at him. Curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Well, for starters... I could help you get into shape. You said you're terrified someone bigger's gonna come around and mess with you. I could show you how to bulk up, build some muscle, get yourself in fighting shape. And, show how to take care of yourself. Would you like that? Like being able to stand tall, and be your best self?"

I... I was speechless. No other man in my life had ever talked to me like this. Men didn't know I existed... or if they did, looked down on me for being pathetic. Was... was he serious? Without even realizing it, I nodded. Looking down. But feeling... hopeful. Well, maybe not hopeful, but less terrified.

"There we go!" he enthused cheerfully. "And see, that's just the start! When you feel strong, you'll

be

strong. Strong enough to look a man in the eye when he's talking to you," he said with a grin.

I blushed, and looked up at him. His smile lit a fire under mine.

"Alright! That's the spirit!" he rustled my hair.

My residual distrust still bubbled up. "But why would you do this, for... well, me?"

Mr. Meyer gave me a glowing grin, which... somehow lit up some deep, cobweb-filled corners of my mind I didn't even know were there. It was a strange feeling, inside of me. "Troy, growing up is hard enough on its own. It's easier with someone older and wiser who can help you ride the rapids. I'm a coach. That's what I do. I shape people to be their best selves. You've been dealt a rough hand, but you're stronger than you think. That little bit of self-righteous temper proves it!"

I blushed again, thinking about how I had word-vomited all over him.

"Most of my coaching duties aren't until spring, so the timing is good. Troy, I'll make a deal with you: Give me six months. Let's call it February 1. I guarantee you'll see progress and start to feel like a new man. We'll make a plan and stick to it. Work after school, and maybe weekends. If you like it, we'll keep going. You think you can do that?"

"I... I guess so."

"C'mon, Troy... is that all you got?"

"Yes. YES. I can do that!"

"Atta boy!" he gripped my shoulder again.

"I just gotta ask my mom first."

Mr. Meyer stood and fixed

a look

. "Troy, first lesson is that a man doesn't ask his mom's permission. He confirms his plans with her!" he said with a wink.

I broke out into a huge grin. "I'm going home to confirm with my mom!"

"Getting there! You're totally getting there!" His laughter was... rich, baritone. Like honey-stained oak. "Troy, I want to change your thinking. You need to be bold. And the best way to do that is to start acting bold, even if you're not feeling it. Then, in time, it will be second nature. I want you to always think, 'What would a hero do?' Lift yourself up. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes I can!" I blurted out.

And... God help me... I think I actually believed it.

Mr. Meyer beamed down on me. There was this... enthusiasm in his voice. A masculine enthusiasm. Like we were gonna climb Mt. Everest or swim the English Channel. Together. He... actually made me believe I could do it. That I could make myself into one of those action heroes I was always watching on TV.

What would a hero do.

A hero. I don't know that I ever had many real-live heroes in my life, but at that moment... Mr. Meyer was one of them.

We agreed to meet for our first lesson on Wednesday. I had spent the entire previous night thinking and rethinking what I could wear. His words, "What would a hero do?" still ringing in my ears. I didn't have proper gym gear--we were way too poor for that--but I pulled out my favorite outfit, figuring a hero needed to like what he wore.

That first encounter... changed everything. And made everything that followed possible.

I got to the locker room at the appointed time. Mr. Meyer, aware of my insecurities, had suggested that I show up well after the final bell to be sure that everyone was out. So I was waiting alone, in the deserted locker room.

And then, in he came.

He must have had teaching or some administrative time, because he came in wearing "civilian gear."

"Troy!" He boomed out in hearty greeting. "Right on time, and ready to go. Good man! Gimme just a couple of minutes to change gear and we'll be ready. The Mrs. will get mad if I wreck my good clothes!"

"Ok, sure!" I started somewhat at his comments; kids rarely give one second of thought about their teachers' home lives. "Are you married?"

"Yep, and even have a baby girl. Well, not exactly a baby anymore... she's growing up too fast. C'mon back while I get ready!"

Mr. Meyer led me into the gym teachers' locker room. I had never been inside, just seen it through the windows that looked into the main room. The main part of it was essentially an office with a series of built-in desks. Further back, there was a locker room for the teachers and coaches, with a bathroom and showers. It was all pretty simple and straightforward, but for me it was like walking into a cathedral. A Cathedral of Manhood. It was amazing. Sounds, sights, and even smells overwhelming me. My only frame of reference for gym life was the boys' locker room. But this was different. A place radiating masculinity. Camaraderie.

Maybe it sounds stupid, but having him bring me back into this forbidden space made me feel extra special, like I was a new initiate being ushed into the Holy of Holies. Into the Citadel of Manhood.

I was so overwhelmed taking everything in, I had momentarily lost track of Mr. Meyer. He continued to talk about this or that, I wasn't really paying attention. And then I turned back to him.

Oh.

Oh God.

He was naked.

Naked.

And... he... was...

...Jesus....

Of course, I had seen the male body before. Through gym class, I had had to shower around a lot of guys. But they were always my age. Mr. Meyer was... a MAN. He had this... build... to him. Real muscles. He wasn't a weightlifter or anything, but even so he had this powerful athletic frame. Powerful beyond any of the jocks in school. Radiating strength. Commanding respect.

But it was more than that. I was... shocked... to realize he had... hair. All this body hair. Far more than the guys I showered with. I had been proud when my pubes came in, and when I started growing snaffles of fur around my nipples. But Mr. Meyer had full-on body hair. A wash of dark, curly hair across his cast-iron pecs, which ran down his center to open up again below his belly button. It thickened again into this... freaking... forest... around his dick.

Dick.

Oh... God... his...

...dick...

It was a freaking MAN-DICK to go with the rest of him. I knew I had nothing to be ashamed of in that department relative to the other guys. But there was a vast difference between a good-sized teenage dick, and a good-sized man dick. Jesus. It was this huge slab of meat perched over a pair of hairy baseballs. Oh... Holy... Crap....

Once he had fully stepped out of his pants and underwear, he reached down to his balls and casually shook them off, giving them a stretch and chance to breathe after having been confined all day.

All conscious thought had left my body. There was only this... Thundering Roar of a Man standing before me, in all his manly glory. So casual, unthinking about his powerfully masculine body. Unlike anyone I had ever seen before.

As I stood there in overwhelmed awe, he continued to chatter about... well, I have no idea. But he kept jabbering. Oblivious to my stupefied state. At one point he casually reached into his gym bag, pulled out a jock, raised it to his nose and gave it a passing sniff. Satisfied, he bent down and stepped into it, positioning himself in the cotton fabric.

At this point, he finally glanced over at me.

I was still struck mute.

"Uh, you okay, Troy?"

Oh God. What was...? How was...? Oh God. Oh... GOD.

I was too terrified to move, let alone speak. What happened? And even worse, what did he think of me?

Mr. Meyer looked at me, his gaze slightly softening. I didn't know if that was good or bad, or made me feel better or worse. "Troy? Ah... I get it."

"Uh... you... do...?"

"The hair. Look, I get it all the time. I'm guessing you've never seen an ape-man before. Right?"

I blushed furiously. "None of the guys look... like... you...."

"Yeah, I get stares from little kids at the beach all the time," he joked. Mr. Meyer shifted his weight to one leg. Looking for all the world like a Greek statue. Only hairier. And a lot more masculine.

I couldn't laugh with him. A mix of terror, embarrassment, and too many other things hitting me all at once.

Something...changed... in his gaze. Softening it, I think... but I couldn't really read him. There was a pause while he studied me. Finally, he went on. "Troy, from what you've said, I'm sure it's been hard growing up, without men in your life to show you the ropes. So let me give you a few pointers. Lesson One: every man checks out every man. Every chance they get. It's in our nature. Men in the natural world are competitive, hierarchical, territorial. And yes, we are particularly competitive about our dicks. That's the way it is. There is no shame in sneaking a peek. Don't worry about it. But Troy? You gotta be more careful. Guys don't like being checked out, regardless of how natural it is. Got it?"

I swallowed, and nodded.

"Good man!" He playfully tousled my hair. "Alright, let's get to it. Sooner than you realize, you're gonna bulk up and be able to give all the other guys something to think about!"

And so it began. The long climb towards building up my body.

I have to say, it was... amazing. I essentially had my own personal trainer to help build me up. Over the next few weeks, we worked on a program to build muscle, yes, but to also build overall strength and stamina. You could tell he was a coach; Mr. Meyer was really good--surprisingly good--at being able to push me along. I guess I expected this guy, who looked like the alpha-most of alpha guys, would be screaming at me like I was in boot camp for the Marines. Dumping on me, tearing me down. But he didn't. He was patient, yet persistent. Instinctively knowing when to prod and when to pull back. Never afraid to give it to me straight.