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I was 20 when I married, my wife was 18. I think I have always tried to conform and although I was attracted by women's bodies, I secretly fantasized more about sex with men than with women. I thought of myself as hetero with bisexual leanings. When I surfed the internet, I particularly loved oral and anal - those beautiful hard cocks with their white loads glistening on lips or slowly oozing from a well drilled ass. I felt like I was two people, the visible married guy and the hidden real one.

My wife didn't want children and I had a vasectomy at 25. I always felt like I needed more sexual excitement and had sex with a few 'other' women, always unprotected, and I counted myself lucky not to have been caught by my wife or to have picked up any diseases - I was careful only to start anything if the women were married. I used it as a release from my gay urges; I thought it was safer that way.

For 20 years I continued to suppress my lust for men, but the last 5 years or so it had been getting harder and I was exclusively watching gay porn and reading gay stories. I loved wanking on webcam chat rooms with other guys but I wanted to do more, wanted to be really there, naked, amongst and touching other naked men. I looked at website adverts for gay escorts, but I decided it was too risky, I might go too far if I was paying to get exactly what I wanted and needed. Then I found that there was a gay sauna club in the city about 30 miles away. I planned a visit; I would be able to get naked there and watch other guys, I would be able to stand in front of them with my hard cock in my hands, stroking it. After edging for hours I would cum for them. I would be safe doing that. I would use a condom and maybe if I felt it was safe would frot with someone. Nothing to expose me to any risky real contact.

One of the reasons I had avoided gay sex for such a long time was that I know I am reckless when really turned on, but I figured that now I was older I was more able to control myself.

I made up my mind to visit the club, and the opportunity arose when my wife said she was going to stay with her mother for a week. We rarely had sex and I actually preferred wanking looking at gay porn, but I abstained from that for five days beforehand, so that I would be really horny and wouldn't change my mind.

The day after she went, I parked my car at the city centre mall and took the bus to the stop nearest the club so that nobody would see my car in the area and ask questions later. I had planned it all, I knew if I had to stop to think I might chicken out, so when I stepped from the bus I walked quickly to the door and pressed the buzzer. It took a while and I almost panicked and turned away, but luckily just in time the door opened and moments later I was inside. The guy took my money, saw that I was a little nervous, gave me a key and towel and pointed me to the locker room. I quickly stripped and locked away my things. I wasn't sure whether to wrap it around me or not, but I was already feeling really excited and my cock hardened as I walked to the bar, so I just held the towel casually, partly in front.

I passed through a lounge where a few guys were chatting, one had a towel draped on his lap, the other was completely naked, another couple sat on a sofa kissing. Seeing men openly kissing was an instant turn on and I was as hard as rock by the time I sat on a bar stool and ordered a bottle of water. I had taken a couple of mouthfuls when a guy came up, he'd followed me from the lounge.

"Hi I'm Steve."

"Pete." I had decided to use my real first name.

I expected some more banter, but Steve slipped his hand under the towel I had draped on my leg and touched my knee, slowly caresing my thigh until his fingers wrapped round my cock. I was suddenly on fire, my heart pounded and my cock felt harder than ever. I tentatively reached over and stroked his chest, he smiled and flicked the towel off me onto the floor.

My mouth was dry again and I took another swig of my water. Glancing round the room and seeing the others watching my instant seduction turned me on even more. As I tipped my head back to drink, Steve bent forward and engulfed my cock, his tongue licking the shaft, his head tilted up and his eyes locked onto my startled stare as he slowly and gently licked all the way up my shaft. This was all going much too fast, too far, too good, too risky. I was out of control already and I knew it. I glanced round the room, wondering if I really wanted to stop, realising suddenly that I needed to be here, today, to experience it all; now or never.

An older guy on the other side of the room was watching, his fist round his cock, working it hard and fast. I was thrilled that he was watching me and it urged me on, my mouth open as I gasped at the sensations raging through me.

Steve paused. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No. Don't." I caressed his cheek and he circled the tip of my cock with his tongue, then licked his lips. I wanted to kiss him, wanted the others to see me kiss him.

"Go on. Please. Just use..." I reached for the container of condoms on the bar, pulled it towards us, nodded towards it. I couldn't say it.

Steve stood up, slowly moved closer, parting his lips slightly, his hand massaging saliva into my cock. I looked into his burning eyes as he kissed me on the lips, then I kissed him back, voraciously, our tongues deep into each other, frantic. I felt his other hand over mine, he slowly pushed the container away. I let him do it. He guided my hand until it cupped his balls, then pressed against his firm thick shaft.

"Suck it."

The thrill of him telling me what to do was electric and although I glanced at the condoms on the bar, I stepped down from the stool and bent forward. Steve steered my shoulders so that my ass pointed into the room as I took my first cock into my mouth, tasting the tip, licking up and down the shaft, bobbing my head. I was like a man possessed, every fantasy I had ever had about being made to suck cock was exceeded in that moment. I licked it, stroked it, made an 'O' with my mouth and took just the tip, worked the shaft with my hand, stroked a finger in my mouth as well, wetting it before rubbing it into his crack, trying as hard as I could to do everything I ever wanted done to me. He parted his legs wide to reveal two small tattoos, one on the inside of each thigh, close to his balls, a small scorpion on the left and a symbol on the right. Neither of them could be seen unless you were sucking his cock. When I saw them I paused momentarily, my tongue circling his cockhead, tasting his pre-cum. My cock was in his hand and he must have felt it twitch, hardening more. I clenched and made it twitch again, I wanted him to know I would go all the way, do anything he wanted.

I couldn't believe how it made me feel. I loved fetish porn where the girl is unprotected and the guy pumps his sperm into her womb, knocking her up, and I suddenly experienced the same surge it always gave me when I watched those movies. I wanted that, taking the risk, I pictured myself on a sling, legs spread and tied to the chains. I wanted to give him everything I had.

I was sucking him for all I was worth, cupping his balls, gripping the base of his shaft, licking and stroking him, tasting. I knew it wasn't impossible to catch it just from oral sex but I wanted him to cum in my mouth, to taste his load, to swallow it all.

I circled the tattoos with a finger as I tongued a small drop of pre-cum from the slit, and looked up at his face. He held up his own fingers, covered in lube. My jaw dropped open, my eyes wide as a surge of lust overwhelmed my rational senses.

"Oh god, oh yes, I want it."

The others gathered around and Steve led me to a chair, bending me over so my shoulder blades rested firmly on the cool black leather. Hands positioned my feet on the floor, easing them apart.

"Will you use a condom?" I heard myself say, the pitch of my voice giving away the answer I already knew would come.

"No."

I knew I should get up, should go, but sex raged through my body and I was panting as Steve started feeding lube inside me. I lifted my ass higher, parting my legs more. Steve's fingers worked the lube in to me; I was in heaven and he knew it, he stroked my cock and sac, pressing against my perineum. I felt him move behind me, the tip of his bare cock at my puckered hole, slight pressure holding me ready.

"Yes?" he asked.

I pushed back against him, he held still and firm. I pushed again, felt myself opening, as I had done many times with my butt plug or the realistic cock vibrator I had bought, supposedly for my wife. I moved and pushed until I felt his head pop past the resistance, a real cock was finally inside me. There had been a stab of pain but now I just felt filled, just like when the fat part of my butt plug or the large tip of the vibe had passed the sphincter. I wanted more, wanted to feel him move in me, feel him against my prostate, the strange but erotic feeling the butt plug always gave me as I moved it across that spot. I knew that this was no silicone cock in me, knew that it would spurt its potent seed into me.

Steve held my hips with a gentle pressure. I reached back with my hands and placed my fingers where I thought his tattoos were.

"Oh god, I know, I know," I whispered as I pressed back further, taking the full length of his thick cock deeper.

I pictured the scene, I had seen it a thousand times in porn, the girl bent over and the stud injecting his life-giving seed into her fertile body, "cum in me," she would say; the guy bent over, the tattered condom hanging down as the stud injected his dangerous seed into a willing ass as the recipient looked between his legs at the bare flesh pulling out, cum dripping from him. I knew my life would be different and I had wanted it to change for so many years. A brief thought flashed through my head, maybe it's not quite too late for safer sex. But all my desire was focused on the moment, impaled balls deep on the thick, gorgeous, hazardous, wonderful, throbbing, hot cock buggering me into ecstatic oblivion and there was no way I would stop now. I couldn't believe how quickly my naive plans for carefully controlled touching had vaporised under Steve's hot touch.

I was soaked in lube already, but I felt more cool liquid squirted on my crack and Steve began to stroke in and out, angling every now and then so he was rubbing my spot inside, making me cry out in passion every time. My own cock was dripping pre-cum, I coated my fingers and licked it off as I had done so many times when masturbating on webcam, looking wantonly round at the audience as my tongue traced the wet streak on my finger.

My cheeks were hot and I panted as he fucked me; the others were fisting their cocks, moving nearer. The older guy knelt the other side of the chair, stroking hard and arching his back, lifting the tip to my lips. I saw his small plus-shaped tattoo on his shoulder; I opened my mouth to envelop him as he held onto my head. Unseen lips enfolded my own cock in their luscious wet embrace. Steve was speeding up, his strokes hard and deep, I could hear his breathing getting shorter and voices in the room encouraging him to "fuck him, fuck him, cum in his ass," the noise of his thighs slapping against my backside only heightened my lust.

"Yes, yes, fuck me, harder, fuck me, cum, cum...," I tried to say with my mouth full of cock, "oh fuck, oh god, I'm so close..."

"Now?" he asked, urgently, pausing briefly, his voice hoarse and breathless.

"mmm, mmm," was all I could reply, but I pushed back hard on his stilled pole, almost losing my cock out of the mouth working it, then almost gagging him as Steve thrust back hard into me. I couldn't keep still as he worked us both to a frenzy.

Everything happened in slow motion. My mouth filled with warm semen, the salty fluid spurting to the back of my throat and leaking from my lips as I struggled to maintain contact and swallow until I had it all. He pulled away, leaving me gasping for breath. Moments later Steve's thrusts went ballistic and the feeling welled up inside me faster than ever before, an intense pulse of pleasure followed by another and another and another and another, as I spurted into the mouth sucking on me, my ass contracting and writhing on Steve's cock as he worked it faster and faster in my body.

"Yes! Fuck! Yes!" Steve grabbing my hips, pulling me onto him harder, breeding me deep. My cock sucker had moved away; I dripped on the floor as Steve continued to pump cum inside me until his orgasm subsided.

Somehow I ended up on my back on a couch, Steve's head on my belly, my softening cock in his mouth. I felt panic rising in me and I stiffened, suddenly wanting to get dressed and go.

"Don't run, embrace it" was all he said, quietly, and he started to lick me from root to tip, his finger gently pushing his seed back into my body. I was tense, but started to relax as he licked me again and again, pausing to kiss my nipples and nuzzle down my belly. Amazed by how soon I felt my cock stirring again, I felt liberated as arousal flared in me again. Later, after he had fucked me again, filling me with his second potent load, I explored the club with him, we showered together and he finally came in my mouth as I knelt with the water running over my hair, his hands on my head.

Steve left shortly afterwards and I spent the rest of the day kissing, fondling, sucking and fucking. I came four times, in one day, for the first time in my life.

I spent every day that week at the club and by the end of it I was thoroughly converted; closet bisexual to full blown gay. I couldn't believe how I had lived like I had. When my wife got back from her trip, I told her I was gay and that I had been with a man when she was away. A little thrill ran through me, despite the stress of telling her. I spared the details.

"I thought you would realise, eventually, that you're gay with some bisexual tendencies. Your a natural submissive," she said, "and you haven't shown much interest in me for a long while. I found your web history years ago, you never hid that."

"I'm sorry, I have let you down, but..."

"Don't." She seemed relieved, almost content. "We'll get a divorce, I have something to tell you." She turned away, embarrassed, speaking quietly, almost to herself, "Well, I've been sleeping with Dillon Patterson, you remember him from the works summer barbecue, for the last few months." She swallowed. "I... I wasn't at mothers, I was with him. You'd have found out soon anyway, I'm probably pregnant."

My cock hardened, partly at the thought of her breeding with Dillon but more at remembering the long fat black cock inseminating my body as I lay with my feet tied to the sling chair at the club a few days earlier. That was quite an experience in itself. I wondered if Dillon's cock was as long or as black, and if she'd taken as much bareback cock as I had.

Seven months later, I pressed my body against Steve again, our hard cocks clasped together as I stroked against him until he spurted his thick white cum in long ropes over his perfectly hairy belly. I licked at it and sat back up, my legs wide across his, and he traced the outline of two newly healed tattoos on the inside of my thighs, mirror images of his own.

My boyfiend Alex climbed onto Steve and kissed him, dipping his erect cock into the creamy pool on Steve's belly; he knew I was close to the point of cumming and his ass glistened with freshly applied lube. He tossed away the unopened condom he had been holding and wiggled his inviting hole deep onto my hard, bare, cock.