To learn more about how I came to this stage of my life, you may wish to read my previous entries;
The Confession of Kalin
and
Joserlin and Kalin.
~Jos
Hi! My name is Joserlin. For anyone who's read my entries before now, then I have to apologize for the delay from the last time until now. The problem was though, as I'm sure most of the readers and writers here can agree, sometimes nothing happens in the way of a sex life. Nothing at all. Not for a couple of months in a row. Of course, Kalin and me haven't had a lot of time to try out anything new either, not since my sister decided to move home last month. Mikala is such a light sleeper. Not that having your 27 year old, blond hair, blue eyed sister walk in on you wouldn't be an interesting occurrence normally, but we weren't quite sure what she would say when she saw who the bed partner was.
Mikala had decided to play up on her looks a few years ago and moved to the city to try modelling. She's not done too badly at it, but I guess everyone needs a vacation, regardless of what kind of work they do. She also managed to find a boyfriend named Liam, who has also been spending an inordinate amount of time at our place. I'm not sure how Kalin feels about it all precisely, but I know I've been rather disappointed; there are a few things I'd like to ask him and try with him that I just can't quite dare with so many extra people walking about the house.
Liam's quite a contradiction in stereotypes. He's 6'0", with short blond hair that he spikes up with mouse, and a build that would probably make most body builders envious. In short, he looks like the typical muscle-bound idiot. In actuality, I don't think he's touched a barbell in his life, and he can do intrinsic sums and differential calculus in his head, even after he's had a half-dozen beers. But those deep grey eyes… well… they're the sort of thing that can stick in your head and get you stroking hard, 6 days after you last see him. Liam is just so smart and handsome, just the sort of guy to make me want to explore this part of my sexuality a bit further. I think Kal must feel the same way, judging from the tent in his pants whenever Liam walks by.
Last Friday night dad came home with a bonus from the factory he works at, so he took us all out for ice cream to celebrate. It was rather fun, we haven't all been out together since mom's funeral, and getting ice cream reminded us of all the great times from when we were younger. On the way home again us "kids" decided to grab a movie, we may be poor and from a sort of rural area, but we do still celebrate weekends. Dad went up to bed before we started watching it; shift work does that to him. Quite honestly, I can't tell you what the movie was called, or even who starred in it, I was too preoccupied with watching Liam and thinking of that night with Kalin. Thinking of how it had felt to hold another man close, to kiss him, to feel his mouth enfolding my dick… well, as I said, the movie didn't have my attention.
In fact, I was so far removed from the situation that I didn't even notice when Mikala left the room, let alone the house. Kalin had passed me the popcorn, and after taking a handful, I tried to give it to my sister. Talk about embarrassment, when the bowl hit the floor, I jumped, and all of the popcorn spilt onto the carpet.
"Oops, eh Jos?" laughed Kalin, knowing full well that my attention had been elsewhere.
"What's the matter, Jos? Mika left for her friend's house a good half-hour ago? Didn't you see her?" grinned Liam as I set about cleaning up spilt popcorn.
"That's the problem with him some days, Liam. Could hit him with a board and he'd never know the difference," Kalin joked. "Bet he'll notice this, though" he continued as he pulled out the tape from the vcr and slipped in a different one.
Moans and sighs soon whispered through the room as the porn Kal slipped into the machine was turned on. To my surprise, as I finally looked up at the screen, it was a flick about some jock bullying a bookish, nerdy looking guy into sucking him off. I shot a startled glance over at Kal, and found him looking at Liam with the kind of expression I'd wanted turned on me these last few days. Liam looked very content with the new film, already slowly rubbing himself through his clothes.
Kalin rose from his seat across the room and walked over to stand in front of me. "Jos, I'm sorry I hadn't told you before. I met Liam last month when I went to visit Mikala. Things turned out pretty well between us, actually Very well, and we were hoping you might join us too. "
He stopped speaking at the look on my face. I was hurt. I knew things would never likely be exclusive between Kal and myself, but I had hoped… you know? I could feel my lower lip start to quiver and tears form in my eyes, but I tried to fight it back anyway. Prove myself a "real guy", if only to my brother and my sister's boyfriend.
Kalin dropped to his knees beside me, and gathered me close in a hug. It was so hard to keep from bawling… I was shaking like a leaf. By this time Liam had also come closer and was resting his hand on my shoulder. They gave me that questioning look one more time, silently asking my understanding of what had happened, and questioning if I would consider becoming a part of a threesome with them.
My pride and disappointment won through though, and I whispered a no as I managed to shrug off their hands and get to my feet. I half stumbled my way to my room and huddled on the floor beside my bed. Resting my cheek on the bedspread I finally let the barriers down and cried out my pain as I shook from the stress and shock of it all.
I don't think I'd been there fifteen minutes before I heard the door open behind me, and footsteps coming nearer. The soft sounds of his bare feet had fooled me into thinking that whoever it was was further away than they were, for as I had turned to angrily tell them to leave me be, an arm wrapped about my shoulders and pulled my face against his chest. That caring touch undid me completely, and I surrendered my pride and began sobbing into the crisp t-shirt.
"Easy, Jos. Easy. S'Okay. I understand. The first lover is always the hardest to lose," said a male voice roughened with its own emotions; a voice I knew to be Liam's. "Isn't it better though to agree? At least that way, you still have Kalin, even if you do have to share a part of him." Then, as my gasps began to ease, and my sobs started to die away, "Don't worry, Jos. We'd never ask more of you than you were prepared to give. But please, do think on it. "
Before I totally recovered, I found myself doing just that. Thinking on it. Sharing Kal would mean giving up so much, and loving Liam would require a lot of trust not only in his actions, but also in his secrecy. Still, sharing Kal would also mean that I could receive a share in Liam. With that thought foremost in my mind, and before I could think on it too much further and talk myself out of it, I eased back a bit from Liam's grasp and turned my head to kiss him on the lips. That first kiss didn't last all that long; but the second one, shared as Liam used tender finger tips to brush away the last of my tears, did last longer indeed.
Our kisses quickly turned more passionate, and our hands became wild, running through each other's hair, brushing down along his back, caressing my upper arms. It was as though he was able to touch me everywhere at once, and even though the contacts were in mostly platonic areas thus far, it was all the more sensual for it. Little shivers of excitement burned away the last of my fears and upset, and gave new impetuous to the sharing I was sure would soon arrive.
His hands weren't long removing my shirt and shorts, and he quickly moved between my legs, right away licking and sucking along the shaft of my cock. I marvelled at how different this was already from my first time with Kalin a couple of months before. Kalin had tried to get me so overcome with lust and desire before making a move, whereas Liam knew exactly what he was after and went for it. Certainly different, but oooh so right.
Already Liam's tongue had found the superbly sensitive spot on me that lies just before the area where my dick attaches to my body, and was licking it with wild abandon. I tried to pull my legs further back out of the road while arching my back a bit so he had better access to it. I was already 8 ½ inches long and getting harder by the second and Liam had yet to lay a hand anywhere other than on my inner thighs.
