To describe exactly why my stomach coiled and my heart rate increased when I saw him would be like trying to explain why the earth is round, or why Oranges don't have a more original name, or why, no matter how much gel I use, I can never get my hair to look like that model in the advertisement with the skateboard.
You see, this has never happened to me before. I've never had a primal reaction to another man in my life. Yes, this is one of those stories where the straight guy looks across a crowded room at the hot man who just walked in and Boom! All of a sudden he switches teams.
Only, the room wasn't crowded, it was a garden. He really wasn't all that hot in the grand scheme of things and despite the fact that he was all I thought about, I refused for a while after that night to admit my time with him was anything but a one-off.
I was new to the great city of London. A qualified accountant having recently been transferred from the North to the Hammersmith offices of a multinational dotcom company, I was taking full advantage of the significant pay increase and had yet to truly discover the cost of living here. As such, I still hadn't bothered with the underground. Black Taxi's were my only mode of transportation.
It was the middle of July and a muggy evening. The weather forecast had predicted storms but I was going to a private party hosted by a colleague in the Marketing department so I wasn't too bothered about dressing for the weather. It was Gary's Birthday and everyone on the third floor had been invited along to help 'commiserate turning fifty' as his email had so succinctly put it. I had initially decided not to go, but my manager had persuaded me with talk of 'getting to know your colleagues on a more personal level'. I eventually agreed, thinking I would show my face for an hour at most, then duck out of there when no one was looking.
That decided, Saturday night rolled around and seven thirty I found myself heaving my unwilling torso out of the comfortable old armchair in the living room and heading for the shower.
There are few luxuries in life I consider an absolute necessity. My shower Gel is one of them. It comes from a small shop in Yorkshire that hand-make their own products and smells wonderful. It also costs a fortune, but like I said, an absolute necessity. Of course, it's even harder to get hold of now I live down south, but I transfer the money and my wonderful mother goes into town every month and buys me a couple of bottles then sends down a care package.
The best thing about my shower gel is that the smell lingers. Hours after showering I can still smell the wonderful aroma of whatever it is they put in it to make me a repeat customer. It also means I don't bother with aftershave unless I have actually shaved, which, thanks to my genes is only twice a week, so I guess I can justify their outrageous prices by saving money in other areas.
Once clean, dry and dressed I stood in front of my mirror for a few minutes contemplating the nightmare that is my hair. I wasn't a bad looking guy. At twenty seven years old, five eleven and, thanks to growing up on a farm, there wasn't much extra weight to be seen. I'd even managed to develop some stomach muscles along with my biceps. I guess lugging bails of hay and kicking a football around at weekends will do that to you.
I grabbed the 'Extra Hold' gel from the desk and pulled off the lid. Running a generous amount through my brown hair I worked for almost ten minutes trying to get the Bed Head look I was going for. Nothing doing. Somewhere around Messy, But Not Horrendous I gave up and stood back for the overall image assessment.
Cynical brown eyes stared back at me through overly long lashes that had been the cause of mild teasing back in school. Black shoes, blue jeans, fitted black shirt with long sleeves that I could roll up if I got too hot. It would have to do. I grabbed a black roll neck sweater (in case I got too cold, you never know with English weather), checked I had my keys, wallet and phone and was out of the door by eight.
By the time the taxi pulled up outside Gary's house in Peckham I could tell the party was in full swing. Balloons had been strung up on the door either side of a plastic banner announcing 'Party Inside!', but the humidity and lack of wind had caused them to wilt and hang limp against the door frame. The noise coming from inside the house filtered out onto the street and as I paid the driver and stepped out of the cab I could already hear indistinguishable chatter over the base beat remake of some bad eighties track that refused to go gently into that good night.
Taking a deep breath and reminding myself of the promise that I had made to only stay for an hour, I walked towards the front door and rang the bell.
It took three attempts to get someone to hear me, but eventually my persistence was noticed by an attractive young woman in her late twenties who opened the door with a shy smile and stood aside to let me through.
"Hi" I nodded to her as I stepped over the threshold. "I'm Alex. From Gary's work." She looked blankly at me for a moment so I pressed on. "The guy who's party this is. Do you know where I can find him?"
Finally the clouds parted and she finally started to show some signs of life. "Oh, Pinky! He's in the garden with the boys. Go on through the kitchen."
Odd nickname, I mused as I thanked her politely and walked through the packed hallway and living room, dodging people carrying drinks and trying not to step on toes as I made my way to the empty kitchen as instructed, grabbing a still sealed bottle of single malt whisky on the way.
Out of the patio doors and into a large, if somewhat unruly garden I spotted 'Pinky' almost straight away. He was holding court, surrounded about six other men and had apparently just told them all the punchline to a very funny joke because as if on queue all six men burst into hysterics and started slapping each other on the back. I walked over to the group and inserted myself smoothly amongst them.
"Happy Birthday Gary!" I smiled as I handed him the bottle of Whisky. Gary's face clouded over for a moment and I waited for him to recognize me, then a huge grin covered his meaty face. "Alex! Buddy! You shouldn't have!" He grasped the bottle by the neck with his right hand and with his left he started to point. "Alex, these are the blokes from my darts team. Davey, Rigger, Mike, Podge, Archie, Nickie, this is Alex Standeven. He's the new accountant at work."
Nods all around with the odd polite "Hello, Hi, How are ya?" added for good measure, the one called 'Podge' disappeared off to the kitchen to get some glasses so that we could all drink a toast with the Whisky I had so generously 'bought' and Gary was back to telling rude jokes.
Four jokes in and I had seriously started to lose interest. "Just going to the loo," I said to one of the faceless men next to me and he nodded absently as I wandered off in the general direction of the house, wondering how much longer I had to put up with Gary and the darts team before I could call a cab.
And that's when I saw him.
He was standing alone, leaning against the wall by the patio doors and hidden partly by shadows. It was almost nine so the sun had finally started to set in earnest and I must have been at least ten feet away. All I could make out as I stood frozen in place staring at him was a man of about six foot, with jet black hair and the most intense eyes I have ever seen.
I stood for a good minute, unable to move a muscle as he slowly bent his left leg at the knee and placed his foot flat against the wall, folding his arms as he did. His gaze never left mine and although I couldn't see him properly I knew, just knew, there was hunger in his eyes.
I felt as though hypnotized. My stomach gave a nervous flutter and my heart was beating too fast. Never before had another person - let alone another man, had this effect on me. I could feel the familiar stirrings of arousal in my groin and it was perhaps that which finally shook me out of my daze and had me walking with determination and a fixed stare towards the bright lights and sanctuary of the kitchen.
The only problem with getting into the house was that unless he moved, I would have to come within two feet of this stranger and the thought of that unnerved me as nothing ever had before. Still, with clenched fists I continued my approach and schooled my head to keep my focus on the work surfaces I could see as my goal in getting past him. However, as I walked past, eyes fixed and mouth drawn in a tight line across my face, he inhaled. He breathed me in. And that did it for me. My focus on the kitchen counter was gone, I turned my head to look at him and the battle was lost.