Macho: adj., n., (pl. -chos). Having or characterized by qualities considered manly, esp. when manifested in an assertive, self-conscious, or dominating way; denoting or exhibiting pride in characteristics believed to be typically masculine, such as physical strength, sexual appetite, etc.
Machito: adj., n. (pl. -chitos). A faggot pretending to be macho.
* * *
"Start from the beginning,
jotito
."
I looked nervously around the café. Was he being too loud? Why did I agreed to meet him here?
I had been meeting the man in front of me infrequently since a year ago, when we met on an online forum for casual hook-ups while I was more than a little drunk, enough to lower my barriers and allow myself to be with a man. I don't remember much of that night other that I had been all over his dark skinned, slender body and that he had somehow managed to convince me to be fucked even though I don't really go for those faggy things; ever since then he had little by little got into my head, screwing with me. Last time we spoke he had gotten me so hot I had agreed to do things I'm not proud of... and now I was here, reporting them back to him.
When I made sure no-one was looking in our direction I took a deep breath and began my story. He loves hearing every small detail, so he never hesitates to interrupt me. He knows how uncomfortable that makes me, but he doesn't care. Actually, I'm pretty sure that's part of what he enjoys.
"I arrived at the gym at around 6, same as always. I started with the-"
"What were you wearing?" He interrupted me. As I said, he constantly does.
"The white short, and that sleeveless shirt you made me buy... the one full of holes on the sides..." he knew damn well what I had been wearing, as he had chosen the clothes for me beforehand. I also knew the answer would not satisfy him, but for some stupid reason I kept clinged to the belief it would.
"You know you have to tell me your full attire. I will ask you once more: what were your wearing?" I defiantly stared at him for a few moments, challenging his stare. He looked down on me with a firm expression, not angry, not irritated, just... looking at me. I ended up looking away, unable to meet his dark eyes.
"I was also wearing the red socks, and the white sports shoes." I paused before I forced myself to continue. "I was also wearing the underwear you asked me to wear."
"'Asked you to?'"
"Ordered me to," I corrected myself.
"Mm. And, remind me, which underwear was that?" He asked, as if he didn't knew damn well what it was.
I muttered the response, but he wasn't satisfied with it. He pretended not to hear it, cupping his ear in an exaggerated gesture. I squeaked my reply once more, and when he was unsatisfied, I looked around once more and told him in increasing volume before he finally cheered in approval. I was alarmed.
"A thong!" He loudly repeated after me in mock surprise. From the corner of my eye I could see a few people in a neighboring table looking in our direction. The tips of my ears felt hot and I hunkered down. "You used a
tanga
at the gym?
Que chingados
, I wasn't aware that's the kind of thing you jock types usually use. Hey, didn't you mention you used that white short too? I know the one, it's very thin... and tight, too! I probably should have mentioned this before to you, but when you sweat, the short becomes see-through..." My face turned red. Nothing of what he said was news to me, I had thought of every single one of those things ever since he had decided my attire for the day.
"Fuck, it was hard for me to just walk into the gym. I felt so ridiculous, every step I took I felt the damn thing riding up my ass. A part of me was so sure that little queer at the front desk of the gym knew, just knew, what I was wearing under even though it just made no damn sense, I couldn't get it out of my head." I was getting riled up and the words just came pouring out. I wanted to get it all out.
He laughed softly. "Little queer, huh? I wonder what does that make you." I ignored him and continued.
"It was leg day. I did my usual routine, but I also added those exercises you, uh, you ordered..."
"The ones for you ass."
"Yeah, uh, the ones for my ass." My confidence was once again slipping, he knew how to throw me off balance but I quickly bounced back, protesting once again. "The whole routine was hell! Every movement, every time I squatted, the fucking string was in my damn asshole and...!"
"
Coño
"
"What?" I looked at him, confused.
"Your
coño
, your asspussy. What you have between your legs is a pussy, so you'll refer to it in the appropriate way." I blushed furiously and looked down. I'll be damned if he didn't made me feel like a goddamn faggot. So why did I always find it so hard to protest?
Looking at my reaction, he laughed heartily and signaled me to continue.
"The training was OK, I guess... I did feel like I was being watched all the time, one guy in particular always seemed to be behind me."
"Must have been uncomfortable," he said with a smile.
"Psh, yeah! And I was so self-conscious, especially when I started sweating..."
"Why is that?"
"Well, it's, ah, like you said, right?" Why was I tripping? Fuck. "The, huh, shorts... I was afraid someone would notice the thong underneath when the shorts got wet."
"Did anyone?"
"How the fuck would I know!" I said in a low voice trying to contain myself. He was always so patient and never seemed to lose his cool even when I protested. It's probably why I always ended up returning to him... he never went after me, I'm the one who always came back to him. I thought that by suggesting we meet in a public place he would at least restrain himself from saying such embarrassing things. Clearly I was wrong. "Everywhere I turned someone seemed to be looking in my direction, and I only got more nervous and started sweating more and it only got worse..."
He waited patiently for me to get back on track, and after taking a few deep breaths I did.
"Nobody bothered me. Maybe it was all in my head, maybe it wasn't. The real problem was when I finished the routine and went for the dressing room," he was listening intently, and made a gesture for me to carry on. "I waited for a moment in which I would be by myself there so that I could take that photo evidence you asked for... I quickly took off shoes, shirt and shorts and just as I started posing in the stupid thong... someone came in."
He was listening to my tale with a sardonic smile, and I reached that part his smile only widened more. I sometimes had trouble getting the right words out as the humiliating sensations of that moment came back to me.
"I... I covered myself immediately with the shorts, but the guy saw me... he saw what I was wearing. He stopped at the door and sneered."
"Hah! Can't say I'm surprised! And how did you felt?"
"Like shit! I wished I would die right there and then, I even thought of running away... he just walked right next to me and laughed right in my face. Worst thing is, I know him by sight! He's always around when I'm working out, and now every time we cross paths he'll think of me wearing that... thing."
"Well, it's only natural. He should get to know the actual, real 'you', don't you think?" Once again, I ignored his comments.
"Fuck! I was so... so fucking humiliated... I felt not only pathetic, but also disgusting. He's gonna think I'm one of those sissys... I should have said something, but I was paralyzed at the moment. I never want to do anything like that again."
"Then why is your dicklet so hard?" I looked away. It was true, but I didn't want to admit it; I had crossed my leg in an attempt to hide it, but he had noticed. "Aw, did I touch a sensitive vein there,
nena
? Are you embarrassed about being a faggot? Or is it you don't want to admit how hot and bothered you get every time I order you around? You're not fooling anyone, you and me both know your true nature, and the sooner you accept it the more you'll enjoy."