I knew I was gay from the age of fourteen, I had been fantasising and looking at the men on the television, never the woman. I felt like a freak, a total and utter freak of nature. That was until I met Ben, he made me realise that I wasn't something out of a horror movie waiting around the corner, waiting to gnarl a small boy with my manhood, making him cry for his mother. Instead I felt like I belonged somewhere, and that was with Ben.
I'm eighteen now and am basically as horny as they come, a sexually frustrated teenager who has a crush on his best and only friend. I couldn't believe it, Ben appeared in most of my fantasises, It was unbelievable how he had turned form my role-model into something more ... and I hoped he didn't know, I couldn't bare it if he knew that I fancied him, or even that I thought of him that way. I sigh to myself, knowing that life is just difficult, I never go out and I don't smoke or drink, my parents did teach me something, even if it wasn't how to be straight.
"John!" I hear someone calling my name, the beautiful English pronunciation hitting my ears, I know its Ben, he never says hey or hi, it's always John. Sometimes it makes my heart shudder and beat faster, knowing that the person I wanted was nearby ... was calling for me. Seeing him enter my room sent a shiver down my spin, he was wearing what I called his pulling outfit, tight light blue skinny jeans, a blue tank top showing his one tattoo of the milky way, he was quite a nerd ... a rather hot nerd I always thought. And the one thing that made me shiver, his black and silver starred silk scarf wrapped around his neck, the one leg hanging down his barely concealed chest.
"Hey Ben." I say, voice barely above a whisper as I watch his movements as he walks to my bed. "What you doing here?" I ask him, still kind of confused as to why he would be wearing his 'pulling' outfit and not be out their pulling some bloke. He was like me, a virgin as well yet he knew how to tease a man and get his ways with him without being breached or shagging the man. I think he only kisses and gives blow jobs if I'm honest, I have never heard him brag, he just says what he has done and that is the end of it, we share everything, even when we masturbate, we share what had happened to make us want to. Some would assume us to be boyfriends, but we're not.
"I wondered if you wanted to come out to the park with me ..." Ben asked me, I was rather shocked if I'm honest. In all our years of knowing each other he hadn't once asked me to go with him to the park, it had always been his other friends, I was jealous, I can admit that. But now? I was shocked out of my mind. "I mean you don't have to, I was just wondering you know cause I kinda like you ya know, like really like you."
"Uh ..." I couldn't say anything, my mouth was open yet no words seemed to escape, I figured I looked like a goldfish, mouth hanging and bobbing open, trying to speak yet unable to get the words out. I clear my throat and try again. "Uh, yeah I would love to." I say and give him my best ever smile, the one I only reserve for times when I am too overjoyed to be able to say much.
Once getting to the park we made our way to the grassy area where the kids tend to play football and rugby. I like it here at night time, it is always quite and you get a sense of belonging with the hooting of the owls and the sounds the trees make as the wind blows through them. I smile and lay down our blanket, knowing that we were not going to sit down on a rather muddy field and risk our parents having a go because our clothes need an extra spin in the washing machine.
"Sit down!" Ben shouted at me, pulling me by the hem of my rather large t-shirt. I fell into a rather muddy piece of grass, having missed the blanket by at least 3 yards. Pouting I give him the finger, knowing he will only laugh and tell me not to dirty the blanket. "Get them dirty things off!" He says to me, I blush yet so as he tells me, slowly removing my dirtied trousers, putting them to the side of the blanket and putting my coat over my legs, just in case anyone was to walk by.