Lost in Hawaii

This is a non-consent/reluctance, Slow burning story.

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For Yasmin,

This story is for you, light of my life. I hope it helps you understand how we all got to this place. Maybe you're right, maybe it will help me understand more about myself and Mitchell, too. Thank you for your love and support. I wouldn't have come out this side in one peace without you.

Love, Walker.

Lost In Hawaii -- A bit of the End first.

Mitchell looked at me with a glimmer of tears in his eyes. "You know I really do love you, don't you, Walker?"

My guts twisted in misery. I knew. I really did. He'd made that so plain, even when the kidnapping started. I just wasn't ready to admit that to him, much less admit that I loved him, too. That asshole! So I stared at his feet in stony silence. He'd forced me to bare almost everything to him. He wasn't going to force me that far. That type of confession wasn't love and he knew it.

"I'm letting you go," Mitchell sighed. I bet he thought I'd head straight for the police. I couldn't count the number of times I'd promised myself I'd do exactly that.

His hand interrupted my contemplation and sight of his toes.

"This flash drive holds everything that happened from me getting ready for the trip to the kidnapping and then everything I did to you. And, it's perfectly clear my attentions were unwanted, even though I'd hoped..." Mitchell stopped and growled. The frustration in his voice ripped my heart to shreds. But, I was still in chains so my heart was just going to have to suffer.

He gently tipped my chin up to look in his warm brown eyes. He looked so damn lost. Almost as lost as I knew I was.

"Take it and go. You're free to turn me in. Hell, I'll even pay for your lawyer to prosecute me. But, I'm still making good on taking care of your mom and school for Sarah. I took care of them before we left. She is in the best hospital receiving the best care. The house and all her medical debt is paid off. Plus, there is $1 mil in the bank. Your mom was always good to me. I can't thank you all enough..."

I stumbled back in shock. I'd forgotten about the damn hobble and almost tipped over the railing. Mitchell caught me and wrapped me in his arms one more time. I sagged into his embrace, too stunned to know what to say. It was a good thing the cuffs kept me from hugging him back. This was all so damn confusing.

For month's he'd told me how he was keeping me. We'd be together forever, find a surrogate mother to have our children. And I'd believed him, every last word. You didn't kidnap a person just to say "Ha ha, just kidding!" A large part of me even wanted the dream he'd created. I just couldn't ignore the kidnapping and coercion. Anger and damn stubborn pride kept me silent. The prick was going to have to earn my trust back.

The problem was, he was already half way to earning it by taking care of mom. I knew he loved her, too. Hell, she was his mom in all ways but biological. She'd practically raised him. She'd scolded, hugged, pampered, cheered for and loved him herself. I'd never thought of their relationship as anything but natural and welcome... not until I'd ended up tied, spread eagle and naked in his cabin. Then Mitchell had become the enemy. He'd severed the family ties.

Mitchell gently let me go as he felt me tense up with anger. It was running in waves through my soul. I was even angry he was letting me go. To top it all off, he gave me proof that he'd spent the last three months fucking me. Of course, he thought it had all been against my will. The prick didn't deserve the truth yet and I was feeling petty enough to make him squirm for a while.

With a growled, "Damn it," he took my chains, cuffs, and collar off. Then unbuckled the gag. Before I could say a word, he swung over the railing and ran down the dock.

At my feet lay the chains of my sexual slavery and the flash drive. I picked up the drive, collar and cuffs, then hustled down the stairs to the cabin. The dark night kept my naked body only partially veiled from prying eyes.

On the bed was an envelope stuffed with $5000 in cash and a plain ticket home. The plain was leaving Honolulu International Airport at four in the morning. I had enough time to shower, dress, and call a cab. Luckily, my clothes were all packed with one folded outfit resting on top of the suitcase. Mr. Prepared had everything planned, as usual. What he didn't plan for was the fact I didn't want to go. I hadn't really planned for that fact either. But, maybe it was better this way.

The plain ride home was hell. I kept wanting to talk to Mitchell. Question him. Find out if he sent me home because he thought that is what I wanted, or if he thought we weren't compatible anymore. If I hadn't been so damn tired, I'd have known the last part wasn't true. His absence felt like a missing limb and I wasn't sure I could go on without him, despite how pissed I still was. He broke me and my trust in so many ways.

He'd forced himself on me, even if it was the best sex of my life. I'd never wanted to be with a man. He'd taught me pain, not just physical pain. He'd turned me into an emotional volcano that was ready to explode. The only person I wanted to explode around was the one person achingly absent.

My heart was so sore by the time I got home, all I could do was catch a cab to the house, stumble in, dump my stuff in the hallway, stumble to bed and not move for the next two weeks. He'd taken me, made love to me, then left me alone to deal the aftermath. There was no way in hell I was getting out of bed. So I didn't, except to get a copious amount of booze that would last me until I died of heartbreak.

I'd thought I was straight, but he'd taught me I was bi.

I loved the kidnapping son of a bitch.

What the hell was I going to do?