Much like they had for Thanksgiving, Theo went with Hop back home for Christmas. It put Hop and Theo staying in the same room, with the expectation that Theo would take the mattress that slid out from underneath Hop's bed like he did when they were teens. This time they would be home for around two weeks, though, so it felt a little different for Theo. He hated being an inconvenience to anyone, especially when he knew how upset his parents were right then, and the Petersens knew it.
Hop had suggested pajamas for this trip, but had also suggested they forgo the trundle bed and just cuddle up like they did at home. "If there's any fallout or shenanigans from my parents, I'll deal with it, but honestly, it's not a terrible time to happen if it does."
Theo looked like he wasn't entirely sure about that. It wasn't like Thanksgiving where they really only stayed over for a few days. This was two weeks, at least, under their roof, which meant there was far more time for them to be caught like that. Theo didn't want Hop's life being blown apart for something that could easily just end up being a failed experiment. For that reason, when they would go to bed, Theo would still pull out the trundle bed so he could slip down onto it just in case.
The visit went pretty smoothly, with Hop's parents either not noticing or choosing not to notice that Hop and Theo tended to be in much closer proximity to each other than they ever had been as kids. Perhaps they chalked it up to the fact that they lived together and were used to being in each others' vicinity constantly, or found some other excuse that made sense to them. It was Hop's cousin who first voiced an observation of what everyone else was ignoring.
While they were setting the table for Christmas dinner, Emily spoke up quite loudly, as teenagers tended to do, "God, you guys, get a room! I've been watching you make goo-goo eyes at each other all week and it's getting annoying!"
Theo's face turned red as he looked down at the plate he had just set down, hoping that everyone would just laugh that away as a teenager being silly. He couldn't even bring himself to look at Hop because he was afraid of what everyone else would see in his actions. He felt like he was barely breathing while he waited for someone else to respond, hopefully Hop with something that would make it seem like Emily was being ridiculous.
Hop cleared his throat and continued setting the table as if Emily hadn't even said anything. But then he saw that Theo seemed to be frozen, red-faced, as he stared at the plate he had just set down. "Emily, that's ridiculous. Let's just focus on getting the table set, ok?" Hop retorted. Theo didn't think his response was very smooth, but it seemed to at least have allowed the family to move on for now.
After dinner, Hop's parents pulled him aside in the kitchen for a quick "family chat" as they called it. What followed were hushed whispers about how everyone knew "that Jameson boy" was gay and how it was pretty obvious that he was into Hop. Hop rolled his eyes unconvincingly at their "concerns" and told them that Theo was free to love whoever he wanted to and that Hop refused to judge him for it.
It was at that point that they got interrupted by some well-meaning family members who were helping to clear the table. Hop took the opportunity to exit the conversation. Hop found Theo sitting on the trundle bed when he came into his room, staring at the wall while he silently pulled at the loose strings on the sheet.
Hop sat next to Theo and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. "Saved by the crowd. I don't think I'll be in the closet much longer at this rate, though. You okay?"
Theo shook his head at that question. "Not really, no. I mean, how could I be? My own family hates me, and now your family is starting to freak out over us, and we aren't even an us. We're just...an experiment that could easily fail at any time, and that's not fair to you. You shouldn't even be out of the closet if there is no closet to get out of."
Hop shook his head, "No, the person it's not fair to is you. You deserve to have a partner who is a real partner, not to be tied up in an experiment that could leave you hurt at the end of it. I think it's time I let you off the hook. When we get home, let's do the sex so we can at least work out whether this thing has a shot or not."
Theo looked at Hop for a moment, seeing how determined he was, and finally nodded his head. It seemed as good a time as any, and it would give them time to figure out what to do if it didn't pan out. "Just promise me you'll tell your family that it was all my issue, and not yours, if it doesn't have a shot. So that you don't have to deal with any fall out. I'm okay being the fall guy there. Everyone already has an opinion on my being gay."
Hop shook his head emphatically, saying, "Absolutely not! No matter what happens you are still my best friend. I will not use you to keep things comfortable for my family. If they somehow find out about us before I'm completely ready for them to, they can just live with the knowledge that I tried something with the one person who could convince me!"
Theo turned worried eyes to Hop, but he knew he wasn't going to talk his friend into what he was asking for. Hop's tone of voice and body language showed that it was completely out of the question to use Theo as the scapegoat. Theo let out a sigh and rested his head on Hop's shoulder.
"I just want to protect you," Theo whispered.
"I understand, but part of all of this questioning is an effort to live my life more authentically, and I can't do that if I'm hiding behind lies and half-truths," Hop explained.
"You're right," Theo agreed and looked up at Hop again, his eyes seeming far lighter when they were wet like they were then. Theo looked so handsome as he looked up at him like that, with worry and love in his blue eyes.
Hop smiled and leaned in to kiss him sweetly. Theo kissed him back, and some of the stress melted away at that; like Hop's mere presence could calm the worst storm inside of Theo. Kissing Hop always left Theo wanting far more, but he wasn't sure whether Hop felt the same way or not.
Hop leaned into the kiss, enjoying it in the moment while tuning out the noise in the rest of the house. They pulled away from the kiss before too long because Theo still didn't want to risk Hop's family finding out about them prematurely and spent the last bit of the kiss in an increasing amount of anxiety about being walked in on. Hop smiled and apologized again, "I'm sorry you have to stay in the closet with me. I promise it won't be like this forever."
"It doesn't feel suffocating or anything when it's with you," Theo admitted quietly. "And I know that you wouldn't want me to live in it forever, so that helps."
Hop smiled, then stood, offering a hand to Theo to help him up. "Shall we get back into the fray?"
Theo let out a breath and then took Hop's hand and stood up, giving a nod to say he was ready. The rest of the visit went without further incident until the last day. Hop later blamed himself, feeling that he had gotten too cocky when they were getting ready to leave. He and Theo were in the guest room gathering their things when Hop shared an elated kiss with Theo. All of the pressure of keeping things under wraps was beginning to unravel and he gave in to his desire to celebrate.
It was at that moment that his parents walked into the room without knocking to see if the boys needed help getting their luggage out to the car. His mom's audible gasp caused Hop and Theo to jump apart as if they had been caught doing something inappropriate. Theo was internally kicking himself for not being more careful, as if he'd had the ability to keep this storm away from Hop and thus, the blame fell to him. He looked between Hop's parents, waiting for their reaction while he tried to think of something to say to make this better.
Luckily, Hop's parents didn't make a fuss about what they had witnessed. They recovered quickly, though Hop's mother continued clutching her imaginary pearls through the goodbyes in a manner that left Hop pretty certain that this was not the end of the subject. When they were in the car headed back to campus, Hop let out a huge sigh and said, "Well, that went better than I expected."
Theo nodded his head slowly. "I expect they'll take some time to process before they speak with you about it. I just hope they don't talk to my parents about it. I don't imagine they will help yours much with this, unless you think panicking is helping."
Hop chuckled. "I doubt they'll call your parents. They were upset with them over how they treated you once you were out."
Theo gave him a wry smile. "You mean, cutting all funding and claiming I'm definitely not his son was the wrong way to handle that? Mauricio says that the Santiago clan all agree with dad's side, but dad's pissed because the Jameson side is staunchly against him. Dad claims it's proof they never liked him and are racist, apparently."
"So homophobia is a racial trait?" Hop asked incredulously. "Ok Boomer."
"He's claiming they are against him because he's Latino. Nevermind that their grandchildren are all hispanic too, but he's claiming they've always favored me," Theo replied. "That's not true, though. Mom's family has tried to make up for the blatant favoritism he has for the kids that didn't come out with odd hair and eyes, but especially Mauricio. Dad views that as them favoring me because I look less Latino."
When Hop glanced over, Theo was playing with the ends of his platinum hair. "You know, I used to think in elementary school that I should dye my hair dark brown and get dark contacts."
Hop looked at him critically. "You'd rock any look, but I'd rather you didn't dull your shine in an effort to fit in. You were never meant to."
'Theo let go of his hair and looked over at Hop, his cheeks reddening as he took in what he had said. Even with the slight embarrassment of being given such a compliment, he couldn't help but smile at that. "Well, hair dye doesn't last in my hair long anyway. It's why I've taken to just dying the tips constantly in bright, fun colors. It was because of you that I didn't try to do that though, in fourth grade. You said it was cool, and I started to like it after that. You make me feel like there's nothing wrong with who I am, even if other people have issues with me."
Hop smiled, "That's because there is nothing wrong with who you are!"
