Sorry this is so long winded. Let me know what you think of my writing. This is a true story. When I was growing up in a rather conservative town (like every where in the 60s) we only had Playboy and got that from older boys. Of course back then no one talked about homosexuality.
Always had the feelings I guess. When I got in the service and things got a bit looser in society I read it was normal to think about gay stuff from time to time.
Well, I joined up and got sent to Washington DC. Of course just barely 18 and knew everything, lol. Back then the military would kick you out for being gay and in some cases they sent guys to prison for it. (Want to know something stupid, you could get caught in the military sucking cock and say "BUT I'M NOT GAY and they wouldn't kick you out).
So, had to be pretty careful about such things. We would from time to time meet some guy and we knew he was gay but, things were changing a bit in the country in the mid 70s and we kept it quiet. Of course if you didn't really know or couldn't prove it then you didn't want to say anything.
I did have one roommate I thought was odd but, I guess people thought that about me. But, I would mention I had a date with a girl and he would get real upset. Told him I was taking a girl out for the first time and he told me in a haughty tone to not bring her back to our room because he wouldn't leave. Even though I had not said a word about bringing her back.
We had a room that shared a bathroom with another room instead of the common latrine. I was in my bunk and he took a shower and came back in the room. We had a book shelf between our bunks and they gave us some privacy. I rolled over and I could see between the books and stuff and he was jerking off looking at me. I wonder why he didn't do it in the shower a few minutes before.
It was the first time I saw a guy with a hard on and jerking in real life. Hell, I might of made a play for him if he hadn't of been so ugly and unpredictable plus, I was still into women and fighting with my gay feelings. And like I said the military put guys in prison for gay activity.
Anyway, when I first got to DC a coworker took me down town and back in the 70s just a few blocks from the White House it was a combat zone, hookers, strip joints, adult book stores. He advised me to never come down alone into that part of town. Military guys were easy to spot back then as we were the only young guys with short hair and were a target for getting mugged.
Once a small group of us did go and first we went to this big book store that had more porn than you could shake a stick at. We were going along and I was among these porn novels. I don't know if they have them anymore but, these were usually written about the 4th grade level and might have a few porn pics in them.
I crossed this big aisle and didn't look at the covers at first; I was looking to see where my buddies were.
They were standing on the other side of the aisle looking at me and laughing. There were two longer haired gentlemen on my side and they looked at me and smiled and me being a friendly West Texas kid smiled back and said "hello" and got a very friendly reply.
I looked at the book covers and there was a picture of a guy sucking another guy's cock and some sort of gay story. The whole section was gay. I got to admit laying in my bunk that night I got a hard on thinking of the gay pictures.
I quickly looked back up and both men were smiling at me and moving my way. I went back to the other side and my buddies knew what was over there and had some fun with me "crossing the aisle." That got to be our code for awhile of "He crossed the aisle." for being gay.
In Wash DC I was an admin clerk and put in the mail room of HQAFOSI. OSI is basically the Air Force equal of NCIS. We would get crime case files from all over the Air Force and they had a code printed on them telling us what department to send them too.
We would open some and read them. The very rare murder, suicide, assault, sex crimes.
We were usually looking for pictures. Amazing the number of dumb asses that would take nude pictures of under age girls or doing gay stuff and leave them out on their bunk or desk for the room inspector to find.
One day I came back from a mail run and two of the guys were looking at a case file and laughing. They called me over asking if I wanted to see something interesting. There were a lot of pictures from a gay case file.
Some idiot got his room inspected and he left out a lot of pictures and these were not the old Polaroids we were used to seeing. This guy used a 35mm and took some quality pictures of a gay orgy!
A dozen or more guys and some were military and some were not, some were middle aged civilians and some were young and I was guessing 18 to 20 years of age.
The younger guys all seemed to be a bit on the submissive side. These guys sure were not getting raped. Everyone had big smiles and the older men sucked their cocks and fucked them.
One of the young guys in particular was very happy and there were pictures of him getting sucked and him being spitted roasted by just about every man in the room. I couldn't get over how big of a cock one of the older men had and this kid was taking it all in both his holes down to the pubes.
Of course I had to make fag jokes but, at the same time I was trying to keep my dick from getting hard.
One guy I think that might of been the guy taking pictures as he was only in a few was on his knees and one picture was of him on his knees with just the tip of a guy's cock in his mouth and him smiling up at the guy and the next is the suckee's pubic hair in the photographer's face and his cock all the way down his throat, I was so jealous.
We closed our office at 4:35 and got on a bus at 4:50. Often everyone would leave at either 4 or 4:20 leaving one guy behind to lock up. I volunteered that afternoon and everyone was out the door by 4:20. At 4:30 I closed and locked the door and pulled that file out of the mail.
I looked the pictures over again and this time in great detail and ended up jerking off under my desk looking at them. I really wanted to be the young man getting spit roasted or one of those doing him. I ended up jerking off in my bunk again that night thinking of that party.
Later me and boys went to downtown DC on 14th street and went into one of the porn stores. They didn't have VCRs yet but, did have the 8mm movies and booths in the back of the store. I think back then they only had one movie per booth. Of course the booths had both gay and straight movies and had out takes of the movies on the door.
Now being bi I would look at both but, had to be quick when walking by the gay ones as my buddies were with me and didn't want to get caught looking at them. I assume if one went at a busy time I could of gone in and met guys but, that never occurred to me back then.
I never went to 14th street on my own as it was a rough neighborhood to be in alone. Two of ours guys had been robbed down there and there were always stories in the newspaper about people being rolled or shot or something. Of course I was dumb as dog shit but, I was also chasing girls.
Well, sadly nothing happened on the gay side while in DC. Got shipped off to Texas where I had my first love affair with a woman. Got to experiment a lot with her and at the end fucked her room mate and then I got sent to Alaska outside Fairbanks where there were ten guys for every woman.
About that time I was reading the old Penthouse Forum and all the bullshit sex stories. Well, one month I was reading it and they had a story about a guy finding out he was gay and sucking his first cock. I once again got to thinking about having sex with a guy; not that it have ever fully left me.
Shortly after Penthouse came out with a magazine called Penthouse Letters and it was all articles of people's sex stories and a few pictures of nude women; I got a subscription!
I was always excited the last week of the month to have it show up because I liked all the stories but, they had a section for gay and bi sex. I would read that section and about rubbed the skin off my dick. I would read those stories over and over again wishing it was me in them.
But, if there was someplace in the Fairbanks area with all the men in the area there was a place to go to meet guys I sure didn't know about it.
Well, time went by and I moved twice more and went to a few places like public bathrooms to maybe meet someone and it never happened. I was still chasing pussy. If I had a woman to fuck on a regular basis I never gave guys much thought. And the military hadn't started "Don't ask Don't tell." yet. I had the job at one point of typing up transfer and discharge papers for people and I discharged a few gay people. They were often pretty sad because they had lost all of those years with little to show for it. Many didn't even get VA benefits.
So, at one point I got sent back to Montana and wasn't meeting women to save my life and the urge came back. I had let my subscription to Penthouse Letters end but, I could get it at a local book store. I was back to jerking off to men on men stories again.
On the up side VCRs were now in everybody's homes and video stores were opening up. And finally a porn store opened on a side street behind the only strip joint in the area. Wasn't a bad place really, carpeted floors, nicely lite, didn't stink like some places I have been in. All the rental porn movies, magazines, toys in one area and four banks of video booths on four aisles in two rooms.
They used tokens that had to be obtained from the clerk to use the video machines. At the end of each aisle there was a plastic case showing the movies being played on each aisle. They mixed them up and gay and straight videos playing in each booth.