Living the Dream

"It's the dream," he said, chalking up his cue and eyeing the table. "Fuck as much as you want, as long as you want."

"As many times as you want," I added.

"Definitely. Fuck all day if you want to. See how many times you can cum."

"Try to break your record for how many times you can cum in one day," I said.

"Fuck yeah!" he said and we laughed. He shot the four ball to the left side pocket. It sank. "To not have to use a condom, either."

I nodded. My cock was getting hard in my jeans. I took a nervous swig of my beer. He walked around the table, toward me, the bulge in his jeans shifting as he walked. "That's the dream, right? To just cum inside, as much as you want. Fucking without thinking about it, just raw fucking."

"Yep," I concurred, and as he drained the rest of his beer I did the same. We set the empty bottles on the table and he wiped off his mouth, smiled at me. "Another round?" I said.

We'd already had sex at that point, but we'd never really talked about it. It had happened on a night very similar to this one, where we'd been out at the bar drinking, vaguely trying to hook up but mainly just playing pool and enjoying one another's company. There was a feeling in the air that got stronger the longer the night went on and the more beer we drank. We stopped paying attention to the other people in the bar, we were fully focused on one another. I got so turned on out of nowhere.

Nothing had ever happened before that night. We were just buddies, had been since college - not very close at first, but that had changed after graduation when a lot of our other friends had moved away. Then he broke up with his girlfriend and that's when we really started hanging out a lot.

But that night, I don't know. I'd had sex with guys before. It was my secret thing. I would go to the bookstore downtown sometimes after I had too much to drink. The first time it was just to see it and I wound up getting my dick sucked. The next time I wound up sucking a cock, and me and that guy went back to his place and he fucked me. It was totally unexpected and I felt pretty sick with myself afterward. I didn't go back for a while but then I did. It wasn't something I thought about a lot. I guess I spent a lot of time trying not to think about it. But sometimes, when I was feeling really honest with myself, I think I knew that I was at least bi. But that didn't mean anybody had to know. I was just fucking around. I was still looking for a girlfriend. I'd still get married someday and have kids and settle down and do all the normal things that people do.

I ended up going back to his place, as I did sometimes when I was too drunk to drive home. We were hanging out on the couch having another beer and talking about sex. He asked me if I'd ever had sex with a guy. I lied and said no. So I asked him the same thing and he said he'd let a guy suck his cock once in high school and that it had been one of the best blowjobs he'd ever had.

While he was saying this he was tweaking his crotch and we kept talking about sex so I started tweaking my crotch too. He must've known something about me - I don't know how - but he kept asking me, had I really never done anything with a guy? Hadn't I at least thought about it? Even he'd imagined what it might be like to suck cock, even though he'd never done it and didn't think he ever would.

I finally went there and said I'd definitely fantasized about it. So he kept pushing it, and at some point he took it out and said would I ever think about sucking him?

Man, he had a nice cock. It was there, sticking out of his jeans, all hard and thick. "C'mon," he said, "You said you've fantasized about it. I won't tell anybody. If you don't like it you can quit, you don't have to give me, like, the full blowjob."

Of course it wound up going a lot further than that. I did give him the full blowjob, and later on he wound up fucking me in the ass. It was one of the hottest things that had ever happened to me, but the next day it was awkward. Neither of us knew how to talk about it and he was kind of acting like an asshole. So I didn't call him for a while but eventually we hung out again and it wasn't weird. But it wasn't like before, either.

A couple weeks went by and then he called me out of the blue and said we should hang out. And now here we were.

***

"That's the thing, though - with girls, it's just a dream." He was racking up a new game. I nodded - it was true. "I mean, I've never met a girl who wanted to fuck like that. They don't like to fuck as much as guys do."

"Yeah and if they do they want to get all emotional about it and you have to, like, say you're gonna marry them or some shit."

"Exactly," he said. "It's so much work, so much...expectation. They're so different from guys." He handed me my cue. When I took it, he winked at me. Maybe that's when I knew.

"I'm pretty fucking buzzed," he said, later. The bar had closed, we'd been there up until the last minute, sucking down beers. I was drunk, that was for sure. "You coming back to my place?" he said. We walked there.

He got us a couple beers from his fridge and we nursed them. There was a tension in the room that hadn't been there the last time this had happened, maybe cause we both knew we wanted it to happen but didn't know how to approach it. He went into the bathroom. He was in there for a while. My cock kept getting hard, softening, getting hard again. I thought about getting us another beer. I was about to turn on the TV when he came out of the bathroom. He was just wearing a pair of mesh shorts, basketball shorts. His half-hard cock tented out the front of them.

"Guess I'm ready for bed," he said, stretching his arms over his head, showing off his slim, muscled frame and the hair under his pits.

"Cool," I said.

"Coming?" he said, and stuck his hand down his shorts. I followed him into the bedroom.

We did it all, again. Drunkenly. I don't think either of us came. It was hot, but kind of unsatisfying. At some point we passed out and when I woke up the light was coming in through the window. I was naked and my legs were tangled with his.

I went to the bathroom. Splashed water on my face. Looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't want to go back out there, didn't want the awkwardness, the distance that I knew was inevitable. I was somewhere between still drunk and about to be hungover.

When I came out he was awake.

"Hey," he said. He smiled. That was surprising.

"Hey," I said. Smiled back. I started to put on my socks. This had been my plan: get dressed, get out, go home, shower, nurse my hangover and my shame.

"You leaving?" he said.

"Yeah. I mean, I guess so." He pulled back the covers. He was still naked. He had a hard on.

"Come back in bed with me," he said.

"Okay," I said. I took off my socks, the underwear I'd put on backwards in my haste to cover myself first thing in the morning. My cock was already getting hard and when I sank my knees in to the bed to join him he surprised me by taking it in his hand.

"Fuck yeah," he said. "I love that you want to fool around again."

"I do," I said.

He was looking right in my eyes. I thought, Fuck, he's gonna kiss me. And then he did. And I kissed back.

I'd never kissed a guy before. It was one of the hottest things I've ever experienced, kissing him, making out with him. Both of us naked and hard and ready to have sex, fuck, cum with each other.

When he broke the kiss he pushed me down toward his crotch. I didn't care that his cock had been in my ass earlier, in fact I relished the dirtiness of it. Sucked him as deep and as good as I could. Licked his smooth balls, licked his thighs. I looked up at him as I took his thick cock deep down into my throat. His eyes were wide, appreciative, full of lust. I thought, We're both feeling this right now, it's not just me. My ass was spread out behind me and I suddenly wanted him inside of me more than I ever had before.

I got some spit on my fingers and rubbed it into my hole. We'd used his jackoff lube earlier so my ass was still kind of slicked up. I got his cock nice and wet then I climbed on top of him. "Fuck yes, take my cock inside you," he said. I lined it up with my hole and slid down on it. Before, when he'd fucked me, it had always been from behind, neither of us looking at one another. I don't think we'd even talked to one another the entire time. Now he leaned up to kiss me as I took him balls deep into him. We were looking in one another's eyes. I felt like I could cum just from having his cock in me. I risked saying what was on my mind.

"I love having your cock in me," I said.

"Fuck yeah, bro," he said. "You can have it in you as much as you want." We were just staying like that, him deep inside me, cock pulsing, my ass pulsing around his cock.

"Yeah?" I said.

"Fuck yeah," he said. I rose upward, sat back down. I couldn't believe how good it felt - better than it ever had. "Goddamn, you're gonna make me cum just from doing that."

"I'm so close," I said. I was stroking my cock, backing off, stroking again. Raising up and down on him just slightly, just enough to milk his cock. It was more than just me riding him. It was the fact that we were looking at each other, feeling it, talking about it.

"You're gonna make me cum, dude."

"Me too," I said.

"Cum with me. Oh, fuck!" I felt his cock pulse in me. I let my own load loose. I didn't care that it went all over him. Some of it shot against his face. He didn't care either. In fact he smiled when it hit his chin.

I came off of him, laid down. He rested his shoulder against mine. "Fuck that was hot," he said.

"Yeah," I said. I waited for the shame to rush in, the awkwardness to take over. But we just kept breathing and he kept his shoulder pressed to mine.

"You gotta work today?" he said.

"No."

"Stay here," he said.

"Okay," I said.

"We can just fuck all day." I looked over at him.

"Yeah," I said.

"You want to do that?"

"Fuck yeah," I said.

"Just fuck all fuckin day. See how many times we can cum, how many times I can cum in you." I looked down. He was hard again. I was getting there.

"Damn, dude," I said. He leaned forward and started kissing me.

"This is so fucking hot," he said.

We fucked again, with him on top this time. He came inside me and I came all over myself. Then we walked down the street to the diner, got food and coffee. While we ate he told me how he actually had fucked that guy who'd blown him. I told him about myself, the bookstore. He said that sounded hot. That he'd like to fuck me in a bookstore sometime.

What is happening here? I asked myself at one point, but it whatever it was it was happening now, and fast, and I wanted to experience more than I wanted to wonder about it.

When we got back we started making out as soon as we'd shut the door behind us. Tearing off our clothes. We were both naked, and hard, and smiling so big.

He sucked me this time, just for a bit. "I wanna see how it feels," he said. I was standing there in the living room still, he got on his knees. It was so hot to see him like that, trying it. He was a little awkward at first but then he got into it, taking it deeper, moaning like he liked it, looking up at me.

"It's kinda hot," he said.

"Yeah," I said.

"I like you sucking me better, though," he said, and stood. He was taller than me, and his pubic hair was trimmed real close. That plus the fact that his cock was bigger and thicker than mine made it stand out, made it look like a sculpture or, like, something you'd want to worship.

"That's okay with me," I said, getting down on my knees.

"Fuck yeah. This is perfect."

I took his cock in my mouth, real slow and deep. I wanted him to feel it, to have that heavenly sensation of a tight, willing mouth going down on your cock. I moaned as I took it out of my throat and then slid it back in deep again.

We tried everything we could think of that day. I sucked him while he played video games, me on the floor in between his legs sucking away. Sometimes he'd push my head down and moan when he wasn't engaged with the controller. He fucked me in every position - from behind, on my back, standing up. I took so many of his loads in my ass that I lost count.

It started to get dark out. We realized we hadn't eaten anything since breakfast; we'd just been fucking our brains out all day. I felt addled, weak, amazing. We ordered a pizza. I paid for it with just my boxers on and cum dripping down the back of my thighs.

"I want you to spend the night," he said.

"Okay," I said. "What is this, though?"

"It is what it is. It's the dream, bro."

For now, it was okay to leave it at that. We kept saying it as we fucked. Me on my back in the middle of the night, having been woken up by him poking his hard cock against my asshole. Him sliding himself into me so slow and so sweet, taking his time, feeling his cock going into my ass as much as I was feeling it. Taking it out, all the way, pausing, sliding it back in, me enveloping him, him stretching me wide.

"Living the dream," he said.

"Living the dream," I said. I knew I had to work the next day. And that day would lead to another, and another, and I'd have to reckon with reality. We both would. But for now, it was okay to leave it at that.