The Abandoned

All usual disclaimers apply.

My last look into the mirror acted as the most important. I always stared at myself in the mirror for a couple minutes making sure I looked as good as I possibly could before I left the house for a night out. During this time I also donned the only scent I considered worthy to be on an image of perfection such as myself, Acqua Di Gio by Armani. Tonight I had chosen my black silk shirt for the honor of being draped across my perfect chest. It sat above perfectly tailored black slacks that accentuated my muscular buttocks and well endowed package. I had every single black hair working in perfect harmony. My well waxed eyebrows rested above my intensely dark green eyes and of course my favorite attribute could never look bad, my squared jaw and full lips hosted a smile that could make people melt.

I'm sure you have gathered that I am about as egotistical, arrogant and narcissistic as they come. Why shouldn't I be? I am 6'1" and in perfect physical condition. I am only seven percent body fat but not some ogre looking body builder with muscles sticking out of every inch of my body. I had been an out and proud homosexual since I was eighteen. I had gone to college and succeeded. I had a great job that allowed me creature comforts. I had everything in the world going on for me. I had sex with who I wanted and I felt nothing was missing.

I finished getting ready and I headed out to my favorite bar in the gay-bor-hood. That's what we called a certain area of my city that played host to all the gay bars. My car was parked and I walked in, being above such things as a cover charge. I took my normal table and ordered the same drink I always do, double bourbon and easy on the ice. I did my initial scan of the meat. Looking for the lucky guy that was going to get to come home with me tonight. The bartender, Nathan, who was also a very close friend of mine, brought my drink and sat at my table.

"What are you looking for tonight, Christian?" Nathan asked.

"What do you have for me, Nathan?" I asked with a smile. I knew he had someone in mind for me already. Nathan knew my taste very well and always kept an eye out for exquisite young men he knew I would like. My taste was very simple indeed. I liked young, well groomed, new-to-being-gay guys in great shape. They must be shorter than me and pale skin with black hair and dark eyes was a major plus. I felt the contrast between white skin and coal black hair was an image of unparalleled beauty. As for dark eyes, I just loved looking into them. I had noticed people with dark eyes usually had larger eyes than say people with hazel or blue eyes.

"He is exactly your type, Christian. You will want to do more than fuck this kid. If I didn't know you better I would say you might even fall in love with this one." I laughed hysterically at Nathan's remarks. I had refused to love anyone ten years ago when I was eighteen and had just come out.

"Well, Nathan don't keep me in suspense. Point this soon to be conquest out to my hungry eyes." I said with excitement creeping up in my voice.

"Well, Christian, he is exactly your type but with a variable you might not like. He came in about 20 minutes ago and said the oddest thing. He looked right at me and told me to point out the best fuck in the bar. I told him to cool his jets because the best fuck in the city would be here shortly."

I started laughing. I was intrigued to say the least. I wasn't intrigued about the 'best fuck in the city' comment; I knew I had rocked Nathan's world last year and he would love a repeat encounter. It was just too bad for Nathan I never fuck the same person twice. I was intrigued about the idea that I might have found my match. It would take great confidence for someone to come in a bar they hadn't been in before and automatically start looking for the best fuck. I liked being the biggest fish in the pond and I didn't want any competition.

"Okay, Nathan, point him out." I said. Nathan looked over to the bar and nodded at a kid sitting on the corner of the bar in a t-shirt and jeans, no belt, and tennis shoes. "Nathan, are you completely losing your mind? You know that isn't for me. I am wearing over $500 worth of clothes right now and you know I have expensive tastes when it comes to my fucks." Nathan just looked at me and never dropped his smile during my questioning of his judgment and he said this, "Just buy him a drink and I will send him over. Get a look at his face and if you still think I am losing my grip on your taste in men, you will drink free tonight."

Now I couldn't care less about my expenditures at the bar but I was still mildly intrigued and Nathan had never steered me wrong so I nodded my consent to this plan. I watched Nathan walk back over behind his bar and I remembered how good he was in bed. I had thought about breaking my own rule and fucking him again numerous times. Nathan was the perfect choice in bartenders for this establishment. He was very good looking in a classic way. He had wavy blonde hair and well defined features. Most of all what drew people to Nathan was his personality. He was incredibly intelligent and knew exactly what people wanted to hear. He was persuasive to the point it could be construed as dangerous. Nathan was one of the few people I would consider as impressive as myself. If I believed in love I would have wanted to date Nathan.

I saw Nathan lean in and speak quickly to the boy in question. The boy who sought out the best fuck in the city had a nice profile. The boy looked directly at me and turned back to Nathan and they continued talking for about 30 seconds. I loved anticipation like this. The music was pumping loudly, lights were flashing everywhere, half dressed boys were hopping up and down and kissing one another. This was the atmosphere I loved once a week. In my perfectly manicured life I typically disagreed noise and anything outside of my box of perfect organization. For some reason though I loved to come here once a week and just soak up the hectic environment. The kid in question got up and started walking toward me. I braced myself for the usual 'battle of wills' that often comes with meeting a new person. Nathan gave me a big smile behind the kid's back.

As the kid approached, I saw big black letters on his hands. He had been marked a minor at the door. I was very turned off. I like younger guys but I like younger guys that can drink. I started my eyes at his feet and looked him up. He had a great physique. Very slim, but athletic not skinny. He had a very long graceful neck. I like that. I looked into his face and I loved Nathan. Nathan had been completely right. This kid had the face of a true angel. The kid didn't sit down but walked right up and looked down at me. I hated that. No one looks down at me. He didn't smile or anything and he blurted out, "You want to fuck or what?"

I was no longer intrigued, impressed or mildly interested. This kid was gorgeous but to really get me turned on you need the attitude I like just as much as the body type. I said, "Sorry kid, Nathan has made a mistake. I am not interested."

"I don't understand." the kid said.

"It is very simple kid. I am not going to fuck you. I am not interested in you." I said it as plainly as I could trying not to hurt his feelings. To my surprise he didn't leave. He looked confused.

"But you are the best in the city. I want the best. I need this to happen." He said this with such exasperation. I was taken aback by his complete honesty. He spoke in a way that made me feel like if I didn't take him home the world would end. I believed him when he said he needed this to happen.

I was now mildly intrigued again. I kicked a chair out and he sat down. I put my hand up and Nathan sent a hot little server in a thong over with 2 double bourbons. I asked him if he drank and he said had never drank alcohol before. I figured it best he didn't start tonight so I just started sipping one and I would just save the other. I wasn't looking to fuck this kid but I figured he would be entertaining to talk to until I found what I was looking for.

"My name is, Christian. What's your name kid?"

"I am Levi." He had lost some of his bravado and now looked almost sheepish. It seemed to me the kid would have been more comfortable fucking than talking.

"How old are you Levi?"

"I am eighteen today."

"Where do you live?"

"I don't have a home."

"Why don't you have a home?"

"My dad kicked me out."

"Is that why you want to fuck so bad? Looking to get back at the old man or are you looking for a place to sleep tonight."

"I don't need anyone's charity and I have never had sex so I am looking to change that tonight."

Alright Levi has told me a bunch of stuff already that gives me everything I need to know. He answers all my questions completely and quickly. I can only assume he does that because he is stupid or too honest to be manipulative. I got the feeling he was just honest and not stupid. Also, he had told me embarrassing stuff already. He doesn't even know me and he isn't lying to make himself look better. I can tell he is a proud person but most of all he has accidentally let a predator like myself know he is inexperienced to the world. I pitied the kid. Levi and I were making some idle small talk. I could tell he was very attracted to me. His body language was subconsciously telling me that he wanted me. I had been keeping an eagle eye on the door waiting for my fuck to walk through it. I was determined to keep the conversation light but Levi made that difficult. A lot of his comments throughout our talking had a trace of seriousness in them. I sensed he had never really had a friend. He talked about stuff that you wouldn't normally talk about to a guy you just met.

I had now been here for almost 2 hours and I was starting to feel buzzed. I still hadn't seen my fuck walk in the door and I could tell Levi was getting worried. He had noticed I wasn't focusing on him and he feared I wasn't going to take him home after all. I was getting ready to tell Nathan he lost our bet and I was going across the street to see if they had something more to my liking when I noticed Levi's face again. He really did have a face that looked like it had been carved out of white marble in a semblance to angels. I thought I might have been a little too quick to pass on him. Levi noticed me studying his face. He looked down as I looked into his eyes. For the first time in ten years I felt guilty. I usually loved it when people wouldn't hold eye contact with me. I took it as a sign of my superiority when people looked down as I looked them straight on. This time I just felt guilty. I felt like I had just showed my wrath to an already defeated dog. I was ashamed of myself for the first time in ten years.

I was starting to feel shaken. Levi was invoking emotions I didn't feel normally. It was then I noticed the bruises. I always prided myself on my keen sense of observation but in my haste to discount Levi I had not employed my usual efforts. Levi had a nasty bruise that could be seen peeking out from under his left sleeve. Levi noticed immediately I was looking at it and his eyes swelled with tears. I was flabbergasted. I had managed to hurt this kid even more with my clumsy focus on his marks of abuse. I was a physician. I knew that kind of bruise well. Someone had grabbed his arm and squeezed hard enough to cause damage. It was a very common injury with little kids whose parents had grabbed them. It was the perfect place on the body to exert control over somebody weaker. Levi stood up.

"I'm sorry I have been wasting your time Christian. I am going to let you be now." I could hear him fighting back sobs in his voice.

"No Levi, don't go. Tell you what why don't you come home with me tonight. No sex though. Let's just talk."

I thought to myself, what the fuck did I just say. I am a self serving dick. Why am I ruining my night for some kid with problems. I had risen now also and I was looking right at him. He nodded his head yes. I told him to wait for me and I walked over to Nathan. I placed $200 into his palm and I asked him if he would drive me home in my car and just bring it back to my loft when he closed. I told him he could crash at my place and I would take him back to his car in the morning. He asked what was going on with Levi. I told him I would tell him all about it when he came back over after close. We all walked out to my car. I opened the back door for Levi and he was still on the verge of crying I could tell. I got in the passenger seat and Nathan behind the wheel.

"I love your car, Christian." Nathan said. That was to be expected. Nathan remarked how much he liked my car everytime he got in it.

"I know, Nathan. When are you going to buy one so you can quit drooling on mine?" I joked.

"I couldn't afford this car if I saved for the next twenty years."

I tried to keep the conversation with Nathan light and constant so as to take any pressure Levi felt about talking away. Nathan being smart picked up on this immediately and never even acknowledged Levi's presence for the fifteen minute ride. When we got to my loft Levi and I got out and Nathan squealed the tires leaving me shaking my head. Levi walked into my loft behind me and I heard a small gasp. He was very impressed with my digs.

I motioned for him to sit and I sat across from him. I asked him , "Why are you so shaken up?"

"I have never been to a gay bar. I have never been alone. I don't really know what I am going to do. To be honest I am kind of scared. I am nervous about being here. I don't know what to do." He said. I decided I would tackle this. Normally I couldn't care less about other's people's problems unless I was working. I had always maintained a professional life and personal life that never collided.

"Well, first off did you just graduate this year?" I asked him.

"Yes."

"Are you going to go to college?"

"No."

"Why did your father kick you out?"

"I am gay."

"Did you tell him today?"

"No, I told my parents a couple of years ago and he made it clear then that as soon as I was eighteen I was on my own."

"Do you have any money?"

"I have a $1,000 dollars he gave me. He wouldn't let me get a job because he said I would just use it as a way to meet fags and live in sin and he wouldn't allow me to engage in that kind of sinful act while I was under his supervision. He has always made it clear that as soon as I turn eighteen I was out of the house and not welcome back."

I breathed a large sigh. I knew this kind of stuff happened but this was the first time it was in my face like this. I felt bad for Levi but I was still unsure what to do. I poured myself a bourbon and sat in silence for a minute. I wondered with the kind of strangle hold his father had on him if he did have any friends, so I asked, and Levi said he wasn't allowed to have friends. His father had told him that friends would just encourage his disgusting sinning and he wouldn't stand for it. I was completely beside myself. I knew this wasn't my problem but I wanted to help. Here was a kid that had literally no one in the whole world.

I pondered while sipping my bourbon. It was easily the craziest idea I have ever had but what if I took Levi in? I have always wanted a protege. I asked, "Levi, do you want anything to drink?"

Levi half-smiled, "well, I know I am too young but I would love to get drunk. I never got to party in high school like everyone else."

I thought about it a minute. The big black "X's" on the backs of Levi's hands told me I shouldn't let the kid drink. Plus I had seen plenty of drunk kids in the Emergency Department. I figured the kid wasn't going anywhere tonight and had been robbed a little of certain High School experiences like friends and parties. For my amusement I poured two shots of bourbon and handed one to Levi. I told him to drink it all at once. On my que we both slammed the bourbon and I thought I had killed him. Levi's beautiful pale skin turned red and he started coughing uncontrollably. He had a hand clapped over his mouth and was bracing himself with the other. I chuckled. Once he finally got himself under control he asked, "Is it supposed to burn that badly?"

"Yes, Levi it is supposed to burn but I kind of sabotaged you." I returned to the wet bar and poured him a very week screwdriver. I handed him this one and said, "Try this one buddy; I'm sure it will go down a little easier." Levi took a sip and sighed a sigh of relief and flashed me his gorgeous smile. I had the thought that when I was done with this kid he will break more hearts than I could in three lifetimes. It was Levi that broke the silence next, "What am I doing here?"

"Where else are you going to go?"

"Are we going to have sex, Christian or what are you going to do with me?"

"I don't really know yet Levi."

"I know you aren't going to hurt me but I am still nervous just being here without knowing why." Levi said.

"Let me ask you this Levi; what are you going to do?"

"Well, I found a hotel I can stay at for $25 a night and I am going to get a job. Then when I have saved enough I am going to get an apartment and take it from there."

The kid hadn't worked out all of the bugs but I still had to commend him on having some sort of plan. I thought about his plan and my heart became heavy with what I figured would happen to him; he would get hooked on drugs and become a street rat like so many abandoned young people. I didn't want that for Levi. Somehow he had gotten under my skin. I thought this wasn't the opportune time to offer him help though. Levi was over halfway through the screwdriver. I had a plan. I was going to let him get good and liquored up and sleep on my sofa. I would have a long talk with him in the morning and maybe we could work something out. I topped off Levi's drink and he said he was feeling really tired.

We talked some more. Levi was an only child with Mormon parents. His father was a carpet salesman and his mother a stay at home wife. Levi told me about daily verbal and physical abuse from the mouth and hand of his father. Levi had begun to slur his words. I told him to get comfortable and we would talk in the morning. Levi kicked off his shoes and curled up into a little ball on the sofa. I was changing into a plain black t-shirt when I heard Nathan walk through the door.

Nathan poured us each a tall glass of bourbon and followed me into my bedroom. Nathan and I often sat in my bed and talked. I had put on some Jack Johnson as background music and we both lit a cigarette. Nathan kept giving me looks out of the corner of his eye and he finally asked me what was on his mind, "What are you doing with that kid?"

"I am going to take him in." I proceeded to tell Nathan all about poor Levi's hardships and my plans for him. Nathan told me I was fucking crazy. I knew he would respond as such. Nathan continued to sit in my bed and drink bourbon while he was telling me about his night. I had the weirdest feeling of security. Nathan then took it upon himself to point out the obvious, "You didn't get laid tonight."

"Nathan you know my rule; I can't mess around with you. I never go back for seconds."

"You are such a dick Christian. For some reason I love it too. It is too bad you know you are so good looking. But the offer is on the table if you want to fool around a little."

With those last words, Nathan put down his bourbon and turned to me. He placed his hand on my inner thigh and waited for me to make the next move. I took another drink and thought about how great Nathan was in bed and decided to go for it. I pulled my shirt off and started unbuckling my belt. Nathan started stripping so fast I was sure he was going to end up hurting himself. I was good and buzzed now with a half-stock. Nathan had gotten completely naked in record time and started playing with my nipples. Nathan knew I didn't kiss on the mouth. I had my hand on the back of his head as he licked and nibbled my nipples. I was still wearing my black Armani jockeys. I had moved down in bed so I was laying flat on my back.