Iss the Darness

Alexander was laying on the bed in his chambers. Sleep was slowly drifting over him. His eyes were heavy and his breathing steady and calm. He'd stripped his outer clothing off so that he was clad only in his tunic. He lay on his side, one leg slightly bent at the knee and tucked beneath his out stretched leg. His arms rested against his chest with his hands folded beneath his head. His long hair, undone, had been lifted up and spread out over the pillow and mattress. The woolen blanket was turned down with one corner folded neatly at his back, leaving his body exposed. A fire burned in the hearth, casting the room in a smouldering warmth. It was comfortable but also made it just a bit too warm for the blanket.

Alexander wasn't used to living in such lavish comfort but he was enjoying every moment of it. The only problem that he foresaw now was the fact that his bed felt much too large for him. It was lacking the warmth of another person. He'd stopped sleeping with his grandmother when he was twelve. But she'd always been in the room with him. He would fall asleep to the sounds of her breathing and he would awake the next morning knowing that she was there. But, the companionship of his grandmother was different from the companionship he now sought from Christian. It had never even occurred to him before that he would ever take a lover, but now that it had become a real possibility, he couldn't imagine living any other way.

As the horned God, Reeyr, so elegantly taught the people, "Be ye united unto each other, and seek out unity when there is none, for united lovers stand stronger together."

Alexander never quite understood that commandment until he'd met Christian but now it was made perfectly clear to him. The purpose of life was to find a partner with whom you could share the most intimate parts of yourself. It was sound advice and after all, who was Alexander to question the wisdom of a God?

Alexander smiled as he watched the dancing flames of the fire. It occurred to him then that the fire before him burned as hot as the fires of his heart. Christian was one that who had lit that fire, and it burned on within Alexander. With Christian at his side Alexander was stronger. He could face an uncertain future with his head held high and and without fear in his heart for the first time in months. With Christian, anything was possible. He closed his eyes finally and allowed sleep to take him. In the morning he would awake anew, and be ready to face his future with a new found strength.

"Embrace who you are, Alexander. And never fear the man you were meant to be." Those were the last words his grandmother had spoken to him and suddenly their meaning seemed so very clear to him. Christian's love had ignited more than just his heart. There was a fire which burned deep within him. A fire that until now he had tried so desperately to put out. His grandmother's words had urged him to embrace that fire and to accept it as a part of himself. Until now, he hadn't had the strength. Until now, he was terrified of what it would mean. But now, with Christian in his life, he was ready to let that fire burn on. It was part of who he was and after all, how could he expect to be accepted by others, if he couldn't even accept himself?

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All of his life, Christian had believed his father to be a fair and just ruler. He thought his father wise and never before had he questioned him. But now, it seemed that he had placed his faith in a man who was not worthy. How could he be when he was so ready to extinguish a life so precious?

Christian stood in the doorway watching Alexander sleep and he knew that he would always protect him. Even if it meant sacrificing his own life for Alexander's. That's what love was wasn't it? Sacrifice, devotion, and unbridled compassion. Christian felt all that and more. Alexander was a part of him. He felt it, deep in his soul. He could no more part with him than he could his own heart. Not if he planned to survive.

As he walked into the room, dimly lit by the fire, he felt a strange pull towards Alexander, and so he allowed himself to be drawn in, like a moth to a candles flame. He looked over Alexander's sleeping form and a new sensation gripped him. Even as his eyes drifted over his exposed flesh, Christian longed to reach out and touch him. He wanted to slide his hand beneath the tunic and touch his belly as he slept. He wanted to kiss the insides of his thighs and rest his head between them. He wanted to take him into his mouth and taste that sweet nectar.

Christian's body was suddenly alive with desire as he realized that he wanted to devour every inch of him. He wanted to press their naked bodies together, and wake Alexander with his kisses, but there was no time for that now. They had to flee before the guards arrived and so he had to suppress his desires for the time being, and concentrate on the situation at hand.

Christian touched the side of Alexander naked hip, trailing his fingers along it until Alexander opened his eyes and groggily looked up. "Wha...what's going on?" Alexander yawned. "Is it morning?"

"No." Christian whispered. "It's not morning but you have to get up."

Alexander blinked, confused. "Has something happened?"

Christian nodded. "Yes, now wake up and get dressed."

Alexander sat up on the side of the bed, his legs folded beneath him. He was still partially asleep as Christian started handing him his clothes.

"Be quick." Christian told him. "We haven't much time."

As Alexander became more aware of himself a panic suddenly gripped him. "Christian, please. What's going on?"

"I don't have time to explain." Christian said, growing a bit agitated. "Just please get dressed, we have to go."

Alexander nodded and quickly began to dress himself.

"Gather your things. My horse is waiting out back."

"Will you tell me what's happening?" Alexander touched Christian's arms and looked up into his eyes. He saw real fear in them and Alexander's heart began to race.

"The palace guards are coming for you." Christian told him. "If they find you, it will mean death."

Alexander was dumbstruck. Suddenly his mind was ablaze with so many questions. Why him? What had he done? But Christian silenced him, insisting that they had to hurry and once they were safe, he would answer all his questions.

Alexander did as he was told and within minutes they were ready to leave. Christian led him down the stairs and out the back through the kitchen. Mrs. McGowan was waiting there for them. She hugged Alexander and bid them each a safe journey. Christian thanked her and then quickly ushered Alexander out the door to where the horse was waiting.

Alexander's heart was pounding nervously. His hands were shaking and he was close to tears. "Where are we going?" He asked, once they were outside.

"I have to get you out of the city." Christian told him. "After that, I'll find some lodging for you. Some place that's safe."

"Will you stay with me?" Alexander asked him.

Christian watched him closely. He hated that he had caused the boy so much pain. In truth, he had no idea what he was going to do. There hadn't been enough time to think things through or to form a plan, but he could see the fear in Alexander's eyes and he knew that he couldn't leave him alone, and so he nodded. "I will stay with you until I figure out what to do. But do not fear, I will protect you."

"Why is this happening?"

"Shh, my love." Christian touched the side of Alexander's face and forced a smile. "There's time for that later." He helped Alexander onto the horse when actually he needed little help. Alexander was light and quick and seemed perfectly at east on the horse. He held the girdle as he waited for Christian to take up the reins. Once Christian was situated on the horse, Alexander wrapped his arms about Christian's waist then rested his head against his back. In no time at all they were galloping through the field with the city of Avimur at their backs.

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After riding for what seemed like hours Alexander began to grow tired. "We have to stop someplace Christian." He said. "I don't think I can go on for much longer."

"We have to keep moving." Christian told him. "They'll be able to track us. We have to put as much distance between them and us as we can."

"But why?" Alexander was becoming flustered. "Why do they pursue us? Christian you have to tell me what's going on. This makes no sense to me."

"Once I know we're in the clear I will..."

"No, now!" Christian was thrown off guard by Alexander's sudden outburst. "You will stop this animal right now and tell me what is going on or I'll...I'll...I'll jump off!"

Christian laughed. "Don't be absurd. You could be killed."

"I assure you I will not. Now stop!"

Christian sighed. "Alright, but not out here in the open. We'll reach the mountains in about ten minutes. There's an old masonry that hasn't been in use in years. We can rest there for a short while."

Alexander agreed. He could hold out for another ten minutes if it meant they would soon be able to rest. His entire body ached and his arms were growing weak, not to mention his ass felt as if he'd been beat with a bag of rocks.

Alexander sighed with relief when the old stone structure came into view. Christian slowed the horse and they eased their way up to the building. Christian glanced around to make sure they were alone then he led the horse into a small shed and dismounted. He turned to help Alexander off but he'd already jumped down on his own and was leaning forward, stretching his back and legs. "Thank the Gods." Alexander breathed a breath of relief. "Another mile and I'm certain my..." He glanced at Christian and blushed. "Never mind."

Christian smirked. "Don't worry." He laughed. "I was thinking the same."

Christian took Alexander by the hand and led him into the masonry. It was a mess, with broken furniture strewn about. Half of the roof had caved in years ago and a thick layer of hay, straw, leaves, and other debris coated the floor. Christian found an upturned bench and sat it upright so that he and Alexander could sit.

Once seated, Alexander had time to really consider the position they were in. For the first time since they'd left the boarding house he was able to clear his mind. That was when he noticed the clothing that Christian wore. He wasn't dressed in the usual brown leather doublet that he normally sported, nor the riding breeches Alexander had seen him in previously. His attire was now, over all, more impressive. Alexander sighed as he looked at Christian. "Who are you?" He asked him finally. "Who are you really? Why are men from the palace after us?"

Christian hesitated as he thought of what to say. He nervously ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Alexander, what you have to first understand is..."

"The truth." Alexander narrowed his eyes. "You owe me that at least. Why would the palace guards be hunting me?"

Christian took a long, deep, breath as he looked at the ground. Finally, he spoke. "My father sent them."

"Your father?" Alexander shook his head. "I don't understand. Why would your father..." He stopped suddenly, his eyes going wide as it all became clear to him. "Dear Gods." He whispered. "You're..."

"The Prince." Christian told him, confirming his suspicions. "I'm the Prince of Avimur. King Guillame is my father."

"A Prince." Alexander stood up and walked a few feet away, standing beside a window he looked out over the country side. The lush green field that spanned out before them was riddled with rocks and tall boulders. A small grove of trees sat alone among the massive stones and yet, they thrived. Growing tall, strong, and unwavering in the harsh winds that the Eerie mountains were known for. Alexander wrapped his arms around his body and hugged himself tight. Tears sprang to his eyes as his mind began to race. He was a mess of mixed emotions but as he stood there, his heart heavy, he suddenly felt a deep anger grip him and he spun around and glared at Christian. "And you didn't think till now to tell me this?" He yelled.

Christian shook his head. "I was going to tell you, eventually. I wanted to get to know you as myself. I wanted you to love me for who I was and not for what I was."

"Do you think so little of me?" Alexander narrowed his eyes. "Do you think I care about money, or titles, or status?"

"No, I don't." Christian stood and walked to him. He stood behind Alexander and placed his hands on the boys hips as he pulled him to him. "But I was worried. I thought if you knew the truth," He sighed as he kissed Alexanders hair. "I feared that had you known the truth, you would have rejected me."

Alexander closed his eyes and leaned against Christian. He loved the way that Christian held him. He loved the feel of his hands touching his hips and the feel of Christian's face pressed against his hair as he kissed him. Alexander had been so happy when he'd first met Christian. That thought had often crossed his mind that Christian was a noble and he greatly outclassed Alexander but none of that seemed to matter to him then. Now that he knew Christian was royalty did it change things? Of course it didn't change the way he felt about him. Alexander was in love with him and that would never change but the revelation that Christian was a Prince had changed quite a few things.

He wasn't just a Prince, he was the next in line to be King. It made perfect sense to him now why the King would want Alexander eliminated. No matter what Christian and Alexander felt for each other they couldn't be together. It just wasn't possible. The King would never allow his son to marry a commoner let alone a man. Such a thing was just unheard of. Suddenly the entire situation seemed hopeless.

Alexander sighed. "Your fears have merit." He said. His voice sounding flat and thick with sadness. "If I had known the truth I doubt that I would have allowed our relationship to progress the way it had."

"And now?" Christian tightened his grip on Alexander as though he feared any minute the boy would disappear.

"I don't know." Alexander felt his tears rushing down his face now in a flood of despair and uncertainty. "I love you with all my heart but this changes things."

"It changes nothing!" Christian cried out. He turned Alexander so that they were facing one another. "My feelings for you are as strong as ever and I do not intend to let you go. Alexander, I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"As what?" Alexander twisted his face into an ugly expression of rage and pain. "As your whore? Your male mistress? Do you think I would lower myself to such a standard?"

"Certainly not, and that was not what I had in mind at all." Alexander's word stung but Christian tried not to show his pain. The last thing he wanted to do was further anger his lover.

"Then what, Christian? What role could I possibly have in your life? That is assuming your father doesn't impale my head on a spike. I suppose I could be your cup bearer, or perhaps work in the larder. I know, I could spend my days slopping the hogs and shoveling shit! When you felt the urge you could come and take me, lay me down among the pigs and mud and have your way with me, then return to the palace when you've had your fill and laugh with the other gentry about how you went slumming with a field hand!"

Christian was angry suddenly. "Stop this!" He shook the boy. "The only role in my life fit for you is that of my husband! Alexander, I plan to marry you and you will rule at my side as my Prince!"

Alexander gasped as he stared at Christian in total disbelief. "You really have lost your mind! Do you hear yourself? What you're saying is not possible. Me, a Prince? And...your husband." Alexander shook his head as he pulled away from Christian's grasp. "It's not only impossible, Christian it's...it's..."

"It's not forbidden." Christian told him. "Maybe in the eyes of my father, but he's just one man. As far as the laws of this land there is no rule against it."

"And what about in the eyes of the creator and eternal spirit? Christian, I will not go against my faith."

"And I would never ask that of you." Christian placed his hand on Alexander's shoulder. "The divine scripture speaks of unity and love but never once does it say that that love is restricted to a man and a woman."

"But the scripture also says that within each union we are to bear the fruit of our love. Would it not be a sin to enter into such a sacred covenant as marriage knowing full well that that could never happen?"

Christian shrugged. "Is it a sin for a man and women to wed when the woman's womb is barren? I once heard of a wedding that took place between a servant girl and a eunuch. I'm quite certain that their union produced no children."

"True." Alexander nodded. "But you're the heir to the throne. The people, your family, the entire Kingdom expects you to provide an heir of your own."

"We can worry about that particular issue when we come to it. If nothing else, when my brother Leland comes of age I will step down and allow him to take the throne in my place."

"No, I could never ask that of you. You're the rightful heir. It's your birthright."

"Do you think I care about any of that? Alexander I would give up all that I have, all that I am, just to be with you. I would live the rest of my life in poverty and still be the wealthiest man in the world as long as I had your love."

"And you will always have my love." Alexander placed his hand over Christians heart. "But I can not marry you. As much as I love you, I have to think about what's best for your people and for the Kingdom. Christian, you are the King that they need. If I asked you to give that all up for me..." He shook his head. "I can't be selfish. A monarch belongs to the people and as much as I want to be with you, we have to put the well-being of others before ourselves."

Christian sat down on the bench once more and hung his head low. "It's a shame." He whispered softly. "You have the heart of a great ruler, Alexander. More noble and caring than any man I've encountered the whole of my life. I would be so proud to have you stand at my side as my husband, and I know my people would love you as I love you."

"And I would love nothing more then to be your husband." Alexander sat down on the bench beside Christian and rested his head on his shoulder. "But Christian, there are things you do not know about me. My past, my family...I'm not suited for royalty. You deserve more than what I can offer."

"I don't care about your past." Christian stroked his hair lovingly. "All that matters is the future that we can build together. Please reconsider. There is no one in this world that I want more than you."

Alexander yawned as he closed his eyes. Christian wrapped his arms around him and held him close. "If things were different," Alexander said with a heavy sigh. "I would gladly be your Prince. But you deserve to marry someone who is worthy of the crown. Unfortunately, that person is not me."

"You're wrong." Christian whispered. He watched as Alexander fell asleep in his arms. "You are worth more than you realize."

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Christian found a soft pile of hay and straw that was free of nails, or wood, or broken stone and he picked Alexander up and laid him down against the straw. Christian was growing weary as well but he couldn't allow himself to fall asleep. They could be found at any moment and then what? Though he really didn't want to harm any of the King's guards, Christian was none the less prepared to fight, and die if necessary, to protect Alexander.

The first of the three suns had began to rise in the east. The sky lit up with a blue and orange hue that kissed the mountain peeks. Down below them in the city the world was still dark and everywhere people were gripped against the comforting breast of sleep. Christian removed his cloak and spread it out across Alexander's sleeping body then he stepped outside and greeted the morning.