I was aware that I had strong sexual feelings from an early age but always thought that these were purely heterosexual.
I had always bemoaned the fact that I was baby faced with blue eyes and fair hair, everyone always thought I was younger than I actually was which was a real pain when I wanted to try buying alcohol for the first time, but I found that I had no trouble getting attractive girlfriends and now I am positively delighted to still look- and feel- much younger than my years. My hair changed from fair to light brown during puberty and I grew to be just over 5'10 but I have always played a lot of sport and have never put on weight so I weigh now only a little more than I did then.
Anyway by the end of sixth form I had had enough of education and instead of going to university I found a good job in a bank locally, it was very easy to get jobs in the late 60's and I found the bank to be not terribly challenging so changed jobs 2 or 3 times before landing a position as a trainee manager with a company in the leisure business covering much of the southeast. Although I was based in my home town I was given my first ever company vehicle, a minivan, which I couldn't drive for the first couple of weeks as although I had a driving test booked it wasn't until after I started the new job. Luckily I passed first time and settled into a very enjoyable few years.
I reported to a regional manager based in another coastal town 15 miles away and worked long hours in the summer season, often from early morning to late at night but the work was stimulating and the upside was that during the summer we employed lots of female university students who often seemed quite keen to go out with a junior manager who was one of their bosses, had transport but was the same age as them.
I would see John, the regional manager, two or three times a week, usually in the evening. We got on quite well but I didn't know much about him other than that he lived alone. He was in his late 40's or early 50's so seemed positively ancient, 2 or 3 ins. shorter than me and quite stocky. I don't remember ever wondering about his sexuality or lifestyle, he was just my boss.
During my second summer, when I was 19 I had to spend more time near the head office which was in the town where John lived, we didn't actually spend much time in the offices which were always on the seafronts because of the nature of what we did, we were out and about much of the time usually finishing about 8 or 9 at night but sometimes later.
John and I worked more closely together through this period and one evening we had some planning issues to discuss and John suggested we go for a drink. We sorted out the work issues and had a more relaxed general conversation and this became the norm over the next few weeks, when working late once or twice a week we would go for a drink, discuss any outstanding issues before moving on to more general conversations.
Looking back I realise that John learned a great deal more about me from these chats than I did about him but given the age gap and the fact he was my boss I don't think this was unusual.
He would talk to me about which of the girls I was seeing, my home life where I went to school, hobbies and interests and eventually he asked questions in a very casual way about my sexual experiences, mind you the word sex was never mentioned. Looking back I can see it was gentle probing but I thought little of it at the time. I do remember one occasion in particular however, we were in the pub and had had a drink or two, drink driving wasn't much of an issue in those days, and had been talking about which of the female students I found most attractive. John pointed out one of the barmen and asked if I thought that the girls would find him attractive and I confessed that I didn't know and hadn't given the question any thought whereupon he opined that he would prefer to go home with an attractive girl but would take an attractive guy rather than nothing. I wasn't sure what to say and so I said nothing and John asked if I found what he had said shocking. I was a bit embarrassed and didn't want to appear unworldly so I assured him I didn't and then told him about my experiences with boys at school. John assured me this was all fairly normal and unremarkable returned to a work related discussion and soon after we left to go our separate ways, he to his house and me to the minivan to drive home.
A week later I was back working with John again. I had been at my own office in the morning before getting a 'phone call to come and help John out so didn't get down there until mid-afternoon, which meant we didn't finish until close to 10. We had a quick drink but only had time for one before the pub closed so John said why didn't I come back with his , I knew his house was quite close and we still had one or two things to discuss so agreed and we walked the short distance to his modest but detached bungalow. Although I knew where he lived I hadn't been to his house before and was struck by how neat and tidy everything was, it was positively Spartan compared to my parents house with few decorations. He showed me into the lounge and he told me to make myself comfortable while he got the drinks. It was summer and quite warm and I had left my jacket and tie in the minivan earlier so I was in trousers and shirtsleeves and fairly comfortable already so took a seat on the sofa. John returned with the drinks, drew the curtains and switched on a couple of table lamps so the light was not too bright and the room felt quite cosy. I can't remember for sure if he put on any music or not but I don't think so.
I'd had a beer at the pub but switched to scotch as John didn't have any lager, he was drinking the same and the measures were clearly generous. The work issues were pretty minor and before too long we were back to talking about more personal things but now we had no-one nearby who might overhear, the whole atmosphere was more intimate and I had drunk more than usual. John told me about an early experience with a girlfriend and about his first awareness of sexual feelings so it seemed fairly natural for me to tell him about my early experiences.
John then recounted a couple of reminiscences more of his own before asking me if I had ever tied up any of my girlfriends and/or if I had been tied up myself. Now it looks strange writing this years on, sober and in the cold light of day, but at the time it was more just mildly titillating John proceeded to explain just what a high you could get from being tied up even if nothing else happened. He said that the feeling of helplessness and giving up responsibility heightened was exhilarating and that I ought to try it as my girlfriends might enjoy it and I would know what they were experiencing. I was back to not knowing what to say so had another drink which emptied my glass and John went off for refills leaving me with my thoughts. I had still not really given any thought to John's sexuality and wasn't sure just what he had been suggesting i.e. was this just a discussion or what, it certainly didn't occur to me to leave which is I suppose what I should have done.
John returned with my second large scotch and took his seat in the armchair which matched the sofa I was on; there was also a large old leather wingback armchair on the other side of the room with wooden legs and feet, green leather tall wingback and low green leather armrests. He soon returned to the topic of the joy to be had from being tied up and finding yourself helpless and not in control but in a safe situation and gradually but fairly insistently suggested that it was something I should try. I still didn't leave and continued to sip my scotch which was having an effect and eventually John said 'come on it's time for you to experience something new, I promise all I'm going to do is tie you up and let you experience why it is so enjoyable, but if you are worried perhaps we should call it a night as it's getting late'.. Clearly there was a hint of a challenge and I wondered if I was being childish by not wanting to try a new experience so I said Ok what do you want me to do.
John told me to take off my shoes and socks, as they would get in the way, and go and kneel in front of the green leather armchair, which without saying anything else I did. While I was kneeling there he went to a drawer in the sideboard, took out a length of rope and asked me to lean forward with my chest and head on the seat of the chair and put my arms over the low armrests and around the back. This I did. It felt a little uncomfortable but very strange and it was as though I was having an out of body experience, as John proceeded to tie the rope first round one wrist then down around the opposite rear leg back to the other rear leg and up and across to my second wrist it was as though it was happening to someone else and I was just watching, it was certainly a new experience.
Once he had finished his rope work John asked me to try and free myself, which I was unable to do, he then went back to his armchair, sat down with his drink and there was silence for a few minutes before he asked me how I was feeling. I told him that it was a strange feeling of helplessness and he asked if it wasn't just a little bit exciting. I was surprised to find that he was right, it was how it felt and I told him so.
