38 and single. If you've been on the dating scene at this age, you know how hard it can be to find that special person.
To be honest, dating apps aren't really my thing. I've tried them all. Although I did end up going on a few dates, I found the whole process quite superficial.
I consider myself a good looking guy. I'm fit, 6'1, dark black hair, brown eyes. I run every morning, and I'm at the gym every second day. I do have certain preferences when it comes to women, but for me, honestly, it has more to do with find that right connection.
My longest relationship ended last year. Jenny and I were together for 7 years. We had ups and downs, like every couple out there. We talked about getting married. We even talked about having kids. But after 4 or 5 years together, the spark started fading away. I was still attracted to her - and I like to think that she still found me good looking - but it just wasn't the same anymore. And, like many guys and girls out there, I found myself watching more porn everyday.
It's funny how online porn can lead you to better understand what you like, what you fantasize about, what you'd like to try. I'll give you an example. I stumbled on a few MMF videos, and I was surprised to be so aroused at seeing the two guys together. I had always consider myself as a straight man. Although I had a few gay buddies and colleagues, I didn't really picture myself with another man. But I slowly found myself quite absorbed by gay porn.
Over the months and years that followed, I was basically watching gay or bi porn everyday. I would wait for a few minutes alone to catch a video and jerk off to it. I'd sometimes lock myself in the bathroom, and stroke my cock while watching a guy get pounded by two or three well-hung men. There was something so powerful about it... I was sometimes hypnotized with the concept of kneeling in front of a dominant guy, or bent over and fucked hard by a strong top. It was all a big fantasy at that point, and I was not considering leaving Jenny to be with a man.
When she told me that it was over, I was sad. I was relieved but sad. Jenny is an amazing woman, and she was my best friend. Deep down, I think she knew what I truly was, and she wanted me to go out and live out those fantasies.
We both went our separate ways, and I moved in my own condo in Montréal, close The Village, one of the largest LGBTQ+ districts in Canada.
I had a very busy life. I trained early in the morning (usually at around 5:30), would go in to work at around 7:45, and went home at 5:30PM. I'd make a nice supper, have some wine, sometimes go out for a walk, and then go to bed early.
My dating life wasn't too busy, but I did meet a few women. I had a good time on most of those dates, but the only one that made me think there was some kind of potential was my night out with Julie.
Julie was also a marketing professional. She was witty, funny, and athletic. She was looking for a long term relationship. I liked her a lot, and I felt that this could turn into something more serious. But...
There was a but. Even though we went out, had a good time, and really connected, I would come back home, go online, and watch my favorite gay porn vids. This made me extremely confused. Was this just a fantasy? Could I be happy in a straight relationship, or was I slowly discovering my true self?
It was Friday night, and I had no plans. Julie was out with her friends, and I was home watching Netflix, when I noticed a new follower on social media. Jason. We had a few common friends. He was also an avid runner. It only took a quick look at his profile and posts to figure out that Jason was gay. And he seemed to be in a relationship. Without hesitation, I followed him back.
I went on with my normal routine, when I saw that Jason had sent me PM.
"Hey Joshua, how are you? Thanks so much for following back! I see we have a lot in common - and I love your pics!"
Hmm ok. Was he just being nice, or was he flirting with me?
"Hey Jason, thanks! I'm always happy to make new connections. It's nice to meet you."
"Yeah, we do have a lot in common J! ;) You should come out tonight and meet with me. I'm out with a few buddies. I'm sure you'll have a blast!"
Well that was quick! I mean, I don't know this guy at all! So before responding, my first reflex was to google him. I didn't find too much information, except links to his different social media profiles. By looking at them more closely, I found out he was a physical therapist. He seemed to be between 35 and 40, and definitely had a male partner.
You only live once, they say. So after my little investigation, I decided to agree to join him and his friends.
"Okay Jason. Let me know where you want to meet. I'll be happy to join you and your friends later tonight."
"That's amazing! I'll send you the location soon. See you later J!"
"Nice, talk soon!"
I loved meeting new people, and it had been a while since I went out amongst guys. I do admit that there was a side of me that was curious about the whole thing. What were Jason's real motivations? But on the other hand, he had a man in his life. Stop overthinking, I told myself.
So I finished my bottle of Cab sav, and headed to the shower. After getting cleaned up, I put my jeans, boots and white shirt on. I was ready to head out.
Jason's bar of choice that night was about 15 minutes from my place. When I got there, I was greeted by a bouncer. He opened the door, and smiled at me.
"Bonne soirée, amusez-vous bien!"
"Merci beaucoup!"
There was a great vibe in there, with a live DJ, a small dance floor, two bars, and a lot of guys. I was ready to have a good time.
As soon as I came in, Jason waved at me, and invited me to join him and his friends at their table. He introduced me to the other guys, including Tom. Tom was Jason's boyfriend. He was shy, didn't talk much, but seemed very happy to be there.
It was my first time in a gay bar. I admit that I felt a little like an imposteur, but on the other hand, everywhere I looked, there was a hot scene! Guys making out on my right, guys dancing together on my left, bartender staring in my eyes and smiling. To be honest, I was hard since the moment I arrived.
"Having a good time, J?"
"Yeah, it's fun. Nice atmosphere in here Jason, Thanks again for the invite!"
"My pleasure, J. I can see that you are really, really enjoying yourself."
He smirked. He had clearly noticed the huge bulge in my jeans. I blushed.
"It's ok J! You like what you see, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think you're a big hit in here. I see how the guys look at you. Many of them love fresh meat!"
He started laughing, and I blushed even more.
"Give me your phone, J."
So I did. And he proceeded to add his picture and contact info in it. When I took it back, I noticed that he had written J's Daddy with a heart. I chuckled. And of course, my face was still red.
"Don't change it ok?"
He smiled at me.
"I know you like it."
He then handed me his iPhone. With no hesitation, I added my number in his contact list. He smiled at me, then gave me kiss on the cheek.
Jason ordered shooters for everyone. I was having a wonderful time, and didn't even notice that it was already 1AM. Since I had planned to run 20 km in the morning, I told Jason and the guys that I would be leaving soon.
"Already? The party had just started, J! But I get it. You want to keep that beautiful body!"
And so I gave some high-fives and friendly handshakes, and got up to leave. Jason also got up, and hugged me. He pressed his body so hard against mine that I could feel our hard cocks pressed together. He looked me in the eyes, and suddenly pressed his lips against mine, pushing his tongue deep in my mouth. I froze. I was like a rag doll. Not moving, just letting his tongue explore my mouth.
He then let me go. I felt like everyone around us were staring at us. But they weren't really. They were probably used to scenes like this.
Jason smiled, I turned around, and felt him grab my ass. I made my way through the crowd. Before exiting the bar, I turned around. Jason was staring at me. He smiled, I smiled. And we both waved goodbye.
"Tu reviendras mon beau," the bouncer said. He caught me by surprise by telling me that I was goodlooking and that he wanted me to come again.
"Merci beaucoup! À bientôt."
So I walked back home with - you guessed it - my huge hard on. As soon as I walked in the door, I took my cock out and started stroking it. It took me less then 45 seconds to cum. Since I had a little buzz, I didn't really take the time to lay down to jerk off, or have a box of tissues close by. I just came right there, in my living room, on my leather couch. That's just how horny I was about my Friday night experience.
I got undressed, took a quick shower, and jumped into bed. It was almost 2:30 AM, and I really wanted to run in the morning.
Before I closed my eyes, I decided to take a quick look at my inbox. There was a message from Julie, saying she hoped I had fun. And then a few messages from Jason.
The first one simply said: "Wish you were still here." The second one said: "You're one hot piece of ass." The third message was a picture... of us kissing: "Just so you remember how I made you feel." In the fourth message, he added: "I'm in the bar bathroom stroking my cock, thinking of your mouth." And in the last message, he said: "Look - this is all your fault!" with a picture of his hard cock, his hand, and a cum-filled face (I figured it was Tom).
What did I get myself into. I turned off my phone, and closed my eyes. I was drunk, and needed some rest.
When I woke up, I had a small headache. Last night felt like a dream. I couldn't believe I had kissed another man, and that he had sent me those pics. I was hard just thinking about the whole scene.
Before getting out of bed, I checked my messages. There was one from Jason, and another from Julie.
"Hi Joshua! I didn't hear back from you last night. I really hope you had a good time. ;)"
She was so sweet.
"Hey Julie! Sorry I got in late. It was fun to meet new people. Had a blast. How was your evening? Can't wait to see you again soon. xo"
I then opened Jason's message.
"Morning, boi. Hope you slept well. I figure you are probably still hard just thinking about our kiss last night. Have a good run sweetie!"
Ok, yes I was hard. But fuck, this was moving way too fast for me. I was confused. What did I really want? Was this just a one-night thing? Just living out a fantasy? I didn't answer.
I had to shake this off. I had to move. I needed my run.
I got up, prepared my protein shake, got cleaned up, and dressed in my running gear, ready to be out of the door by 10AM.
I had a half-marathon route that I loved to do. And so I left my place, and started running. I still had a headache, so I started at a slower pace. But after about 2 km, I felt good. I started accelerating, and I was actually running faster than ever.
For me, running is more than exercise. It's also therapy. And for most of my run, I reflected on my night out with the boys. I had a blast, the whole thing made me extremely horny, and I loved how Jason made me feel.
But I also felt bad for Julie. She was sweet, cute, we connected, and she seemed to want to build a future with me. My mind was made up - I had to put all my efforts into building a relationship with Julie.
