Let the Rollercoaster Begin

Ben steered us over to Mozart's Coffee. It looked rustic-ish from out front, nice although. I climbed out of the truck distracted, looking up to see Ben right next to me, blocking my pathway. He leaned in and kissed me gently, then rested his forehead against mine.

"I could just stay here all day" Ben whispered.

I smiled back at him, "Yeah, but I can smell coffee."

"Well, let's get your butt inside and order coffee stat," he said, smiling as he took my hand and walked towards the entry.

When we walked in, I was taken with the beautiful views. I noticed a few people sitting over to one side, out on the decked area under this beautiful tree, not unlike what you'd find at home near my place. Ben signalled that we were heading out to the deck.

Walking outside, crossing the threshold, a face jumped out.

"Ella," I yelled out. I'd spotted one of the nurses that looked after me on the ward just before we were discharged. She helped me loads with the start of rehab. I ran over. She had heard my voice, stood and walked a few paces before I carefully - 'remember the chest Jamie' - crashed into and hugged her.

Looking past her shoulder, I noticed the group of people she was sitting with. They were all smiling. One guy in particular caught my attention for a moment. He looked like a muscled-up version of Ben - must be a flood of hot-looking Texans, right.

"Oh my, Jamie," Ella exclaimed as I swept her into a hug. "Look at you! Bit of a tan now, a smile on your face..." Ella stepped back a little, taking me all in. "You look like you've put some weight back on too! You were getting too thin, like a good breeze would blow you over." Elle looked around me. "Where's your partner in crime, Lucas? Haven't seen you two more than three feet apart?"

I felt instantly self-conscious, and tried to suck my gut in. "Oh, Lucas!" I stumbled a little. "He's at the apartment - got some stuff to do, I think."

Remembering that I'd come here with Ben and had just bolted when I saw Ella , I continued, "Oh Ella, my God! I'm so rude!" I turned to apologize and introduced Ben, only to see him holding a little boy that looked like him - a strong family resemblance for sure.

Immediately I thought the worst: 'Oh my god! He's got a family! He's a dad! I've been hitting-on, lusting after a married man!' I could feel my face drop - I was crushed.

Ben saw the look on my face. The smile he was wearing evaporated instantly. "Jamie, I see you've met my sister in-law," he said as he walked over with the little boy in his arms. The kid was smiling up at Ben like he was the best thing he'd ever seen.

I couldn't speak. My mind was whirring at a million miles an hour, looking between Ella, muscled Ben, and the rest of the assembled party. "I... Jesus...I think I'm going to puke." Quickly I surveyed the deck area, and spotted the bathroom doorway. I put my hand to my mouth and took off without a word. What the hell is wrong with me, I'm acting like some crazed fool, for fuck's sake Jamie get a grip, oh god no. To make it worse if possible, Ben was calling out after me, following me into the stalls a few moments later..

"Jamie, are you okay?" his voice was full of concern I didn't reply. "Jamie," he said quietly as he rattled the stall door. "Jamie, talk to me. What's wrong?"

I couldn't tell him what I was thinking as I was desperately trying to dry my eyes and calm my face after just losing my breakfast, plummeting from the high emotion of seeing my, dreams, hopes... with Ben, something just, disappear. 'Oh my god, I'm such a bad person,' I kept thinking over and over, that nauseating feeling rising again. I need to get my emotions under control. It's like I 'm broken or that 'sad girl -the blue one-out of

Inside Out

. Sadness has become dictator in my head. Fuck! 'He's a dad. Someone's partner - and l've been trying to get him into bed.' I felt like the biggest street hooker there ever was, he bought me here to meet his wife and kid, oh fuck. I could feel the bile rising again.

"Jamie, open the door, please. What's wrong?" Ben asked, his voice quite concerned.

I stretched out my hand - it looked like someone else's. I wasn't even in control. My hand was shaking as I unlatched the door. Ben gently pushed the door open and stepped in . The look on his face when it met mine was full of compassion mixed with some surprise. "I'm sorry, Ben. I should go."

"Why?" he asked with concern.

"Because, you know... your...," I stopped. The words were burning like acid in my throat. "Your partner and kid. I shouldn't have come."

Ben's face switched from confusion to one with a small smile that quickly vanished. "Oh my god, Jamie. Did you think he was... that's my nephew," He stepped closer and lifted my chin with his fingers gently, his eyes pleading with me. "I brought you here today to meet some of my family. They'd been pitching a fit because I haven't introduced them yet. They threatened to just find you and turn up there a bit like that. I'm sorry - this was supposed to be a happy day."

He paused for a moment, pulling me into a hug. "We can just leave if you want. I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with, okay?" Ben pulled back looking me in the eyes. "I'd like to kiss you," he paused. "But I think some toothpaste and mouthwash might be in order, hey?" He laughed a little and his eyes lit up. "Wait here one second, okay? I'll be right back. Promise."

And he was gone. I was left feeling a little shell-shocked. Walking out of the stall, I turned to the wash basin, started to wash my face to calm down, trying to wash all the red blotches away.

"What the hell is happening to me? It's like someone has flicked the emotion switch on in my head, but it's stuck in high gear. In what seemed like only a few seconds, the door flew open again. A very out of breath Ben came bursting back in.

"Here," he panted, shoving a bag at me. There's a family change room next door."

I looked into the bag - there was a selection of travel-sized toothpastes, brush and mouthwash, plus a bottle of water too. I looked up and smiled. "Thanks!" I replied as I quickly ducked into the family change room and freshened up my dental hygiene some. Whilst brushing my teeth, I was taken with how the place was spotless - even cleaner than my own bathroom at home, and I'm borderline obsessive. Lucky it's a quieter day I guess - people would be wondering what the hell is going on!

My Australian accent has gotten me out of a few stupid situations. When I say I don't understand or some bullshit excuse like that, they just smile and wave me on - normally with an eye roll or two for good measure.

Ben was waiting for me outside the change room, I think he was still a little unsure if I was still a high flight risk. "All good, Jamie?"

"Um yeah, I guess. I just feel stupid now. I guess y'all must think I'm crazy now for sure." I smiled an embarrassed smile.

"Think you're all good there. Ella has been your biggest fan, telling everyone how you and Lucas were in a real bad way, when y'all woke up, how the laughs never stopped." Ben smiled, taking my hand leading me over to a quiet corner, out of the way. "Maybe this will convince you." His hand slipped along my arm coming to rest holding my neck, his thumb just below my ear, looking into my eyes the whole time. His eyes looked my face up and down, checking that I was okay. Our eyes met - I was lost in them like some stupid sixteen-year-old.

Our lips met. All I could feel was waves of relief wash over me. My concentration wasn't even broken by a voice saying, "Found 'em," with a little giggle. "Oh, they're okay, y'all."

Ben pulled back so our lips were just touching. "It's okay. That was Daniel, my brother."

I leant forward and took control of the kiss, swiping my tongue across his lower lip, pressing for entry into his mouth. Ben relaxed - we were away in our own world. I don't know how long we were there, but I did hear Daniel come back again saying, "gonna send the kids over y'all if you don't wrap it up."

We looked at each other, after finally coming to a stop, a little red-faced. Our lips had that freshly kissed red look about them. "Come on," Ben said, tilting his head. "Meet my family, before they just come and grab us." He smiled, leading me out like a lamb to the slaughter.

"Howdy y'all. This is Jamie Spence." Ben's face was lit up like the Rockefeller Christmas tree - he seemed so proud to introduce me, and after all the trouble I've caused too. I breathed out slowly. 'Wow!'

"Jamie, this is Daniel, my brother." Daniel stood up and shook my hand.

"Hey, Jamie. Ben hasn't stopped talking about you. Nice to see your... " he stopped for a second, "... face." Daniel winked at me then smiled.

"Oh, hi Daniel. Nice to meet you." I was feeling a little - well, a load - self-conscious from him busting Ben and me earlier.

"You already know Ella, his partner," Ben skipped along as I leant over and gave Ella a quick hug.

"My sister, Amber, her husband, Trav, and their kids, Ava and Jack."

Trav was holding Ava, standing up along the table. He managed to snake a hand free to shake mine. "Hey Jamie, nice to meet. Heard lots about you." Ava was snuggled into her daddy's chest, looking at me with one open eye.

"Thanks, Trav. Nice to meet you," I managed to smile. I'll admit to feeling somewhat overwhelmed with the kind of welcome I was receiving from Ben's family.

Amber smiled sweetly and hugged me. "It's great to meet you finally, Jamie. Ben hasn't stopped talking about you." Amber turned a little. "This is our son, Jack, and our daughter, Ava, with Trav," she smiled.

"Hey there, Jack," I shook his little cute hand right, because little kids want to be treated like they're big kids. He was the funniest, I was about to learn. I think he and Jett would get on like a house on fire.

"Your voice sounds funny," he tilted his head a little.

"Sorry buddy. I'm from Australia," I smiled at him, and apologized. That was so cute.

Jack nodded, deep in thought. "I thought you were from Bos...ton or someth'n." The way he drew out Boston sounded like it had an extra syllable. His face lit up, "Do you have a pet kangaroo?"

I laughed. "No - sorry, buddy. I do get them in our yard at home often, but no, none as a pet."

Jack looked somewhat disappointed, "What job do you have?"

"I'm a fireman."

Jack's eyes went big, "A fireman? That's cool. My uncle is an EMT," he stated proudly, pointing at Ben. Jack came over and sat in the empty chair next to me, quite proud of the fact that he could get EMT out. 'Obviously someone has been teaching him.' I smiled at Ben.

The parents were next. Ben's mom was waiting her turn, but she was clearly excited. Ben introduced me to them as Lisa and Scott. I shook hands with Ben's dad - Scott. A warm smile and more 'pleased to meet you'. His eyes flickered across to his wife who was not going to wait much longer.

"Ma'am, it's a pleasure to meet you," I turned on the charm, stepping a little closer to Lisa Rush. She smiled a happy, almost lit up, smile and pulled me into a hug.

I braced for the pain of her grabbing me, or hurting my still tender chest. Clearly her years of nursing and full brief I guess she got from Ella meant no pain. She managed to give me the nicest heartfelt hug without hitting any sort spots at all. I relaxed into it and smiled.

Ben looked on. His face was, well, I don't think I've seen him happier.

With all the introductions finished, conversations starting to break out around the table as we sat down. Ben and his family were smiling, totally carefree, while Trav ordered a round of drinks and Ella and Amanda looked to order some shared plates to get us started.

"Jamie," Ella asked, "do you like spicy food?"

Before I could answer, she and Amanda decided they'd order an extra serve of whatever we were having. I heard her saying to Amanda how thin I'd gotten in hospital. Apparently, my Mom was crying and all when she saw me one time coming back from a shower on the ward. All this I learned whilst listening in, trying not to draw attention to myself. Mom showed Ella a photo of Lucas and me in El Paso. That explains why out food trays seemed fuller all of a sudden.

Laughter took over. Soon enough, my earlier nerves were gone. They're nice people - very welcoming. It made me feel at home in no time.

"So, Jamie, Ben tells us that you're off to NYC soon," Mrs Rush asked, with an inquiring look on her face. "Think someone is going to miss you somehow." She turned towards Ben, who was answering his little niece's question.

I bit my bottom lip and nodded. He wasn't the only one. There is no way I was going to admit in front of all of Ben's family that I was really conflicted too. I was feeling uneasy about leaving Ben.

..o0o..

The following day, Ben helped Lucas and me move our stuff to Aiden's place. We were going to leave the rental truck at Aiden's. There wasn't enough time to drive to NYC as we'd originally planned, and the rental company would collect it early next week. With the bulk of our stuff shipped to my uncle and aunt's place - well, mainly Lucas' stuff and our camping gear - only remaining things were the few bottles of wine that survived the crash. Well, most had been consumed by the family members passing through during our hospital stay and recovery, so we were down to three now, and I promised Mr and Mrs Rush a bottle of wine when I'd been talking to them at lunch that day.

So, I only had pretty much my backpack and a few new pairs of chucks that I'd bought. Time was marching away quickly. I was feeling, sullen, to put it mildly. I know I should be happy to be going to NYC, which I was on some level, but... Ben - my god, boys are such a distraction right? Pleasant and all, but damn, don't they do your head in sometime?

Okay, I was looking forward to heading the northern States. I was planning on seeing a few cousins while in NYC, then Lucas and I were splitting up - him going back home, me flying out to London for a few days, then on to the south of France for two weeks of sun before heading home.

"What's up, Jamie?" Lucas asked, dropping into the chair next to me.

"Lucas! Oh god!" I breathed out. "The same thought keeps coming back to me... Ben. Is this what Sam felt when I was leaving?" I looked at Lucas for some understanding,

"Yeah, well on that, I've heard from home that Sam and Ty had been seeing a bit of each other. Apparently it came out of the blue before we had the accident." I sat back and looked to the heavens for something... what... who the fuck knows? "Dave called me,"I continued. "He wanted to, you know, gently gauge my feelings on it and give me the heads up." I was sad - not going to lie - but he has a right to be happy too. "It will hurt to see them close when I get back, but I had my chance, and I can see now, I fucked it up, Ty is a fantastic guy, the absolute best." I felt those frick'n tears build up again, but I managed to get them under control this time.

We decided that some Tex-Mex was up for dinner tonight. After Ben called in, we piled into my truck with Aiden and family following us. Ben's brother and sister with extended family were going to meet us there too. Wow - a meeting of the families! 'Is this normal?' I kept thinking. I'll have to ask Steph - she's good at convention and stuff.

The upside is the littlies might make some kid buddies. Now that would be cool. I could keep in touch, even at arm's length, with Ben, right?

Dinner was great. Everyone got on so well, it was amazing. I think Aiden and Daniel were going to be buddies. They even had a few shared friends, it turns out. How cool! Driving back to Aiden's place, it hit me that before I knew it - I'd be in the car driving to the airport.

"Hey Jamie, I've tried to swap my shift with someone so I can take you to the airport tomorrow, but no dice. Hmm," Ben started looking a little uncertain, "would you like to spend the night at my place, maybe? I've got an early start so I could have you back in time, you know, for your flight?" His voice was full of uncertainty. It was kinda cute, because the rest of the time he was super confident, matching my confidence at every turn almost.

I looked at him, trying to hide my excitement and apprehension too. "I'd like that, Ben," I replied, smiling. "I'd like that a lot."

"Awkward, here," Lucas squeaked out from the back seat. I just hung the bird at him and smiled at Ben, who was flashing that killer smile at me.

"Wanna walk to Aiden's," I quipped. Silence came back.

..o0o..

We pulled up at Ben's place, still in my rental. He opened the garage door from his cell - 'neat trick.' We slipped into his nice neat garage - the truck fit in nicely. Taking a deep breath, I climbed out and walked towards the door that I'm guessing led into the house. Ben walked over and took my hand. "Welcome to my home," he greeted me. As we passed through the door, my mind was racing. Okay, his comment was a little cheesy, but damn I just wanted to rip his clothes off on the spot.

'Finally, alone!" Ben groaned as he grabbed me, his mouth assaulting mine, as if his very existence was based on the contact.

I pushed my hands up his body moaning into his mouth, finally grabbing a handful of his hair. Pulling myself against him, we lost balance for a moment, falling backwards till he found the wall with his back.

"Oh my god, James! I've wanted to do this since that first day I sat next to you in hospital."

I ran my hands down his muscular lean flanks, finding the edge of his button down shirt. I tried to lift it up, but it was a nice fit, and wasn't going to come off like that. I pulled my mouth back for a second and stared into his eyes. "I'll replace it," I said. Smiling, I grabbed the edges of the shirt and I pulled. The buttons gave way with a clatter as they hit the floor.

Ben's hands had slipped down my back and he curled his fingers under my tee. In one swift movement, it was sailing across the room to destination unknown. A feeling of warm air on my bare ass wrapped around me, I realised that he'd undone the top button of my jeans and they had fallen to the floor, I was butt naked except for my chucks and 501's around my ankles. I'd lost a few pounds in hospital, so nothing stopped them from slipping to the floor, clearly.

"Hmm, you're a quick worker, Ben." I marvelled, as with a small amount of frustration in my voice, I was still working at getting his chinos undone. "Finally!" I exclaimed, getting them open. My hands wasted no time slipping inside, grasping his firm butt.

Ben's mouth slipped off mine, nibbling on my jaw, then down my neck to my collarbone. He switched sides away from where the seatbelt bruises - they were still a little tender. This guy must have memorised my upper body, navigating without hurting me, alternating between nipples, not hitting any of the sore spots around the middle of my chest.

My hands were running through his hair, "Oh Fuck Ben! Oh fuck!" I kept babbling. "Oh fuck-me!" Next, I felt him below my pelvic line his tongue tracing a line from my bellybutton to the base of my rock-hard cock.

"Oh James, you're beautiful." Ben slipped me into his mouth. I'd worked out over the past few days. When he called me 'James', when it was something personal, almost like a pet name, it wasn't like when everyone else did and I was in trouble. It was kinda sweet, a shared moment. It wasn't often, but nice when he did it.

I was having trouble standing, leaning against the wall for support. I looked down to see his blue eyes smiling back up at me, with most of my cock in his mouth. I was rubbing my hands through his hair, trying not to force him onto me. The urge was strong though - it took me all my time not to drive myself down his throat.