This is a true story that took place in my hometown in Upstate NY just a few weeks ago.
There are guys I find cute, guys I find hot, and guys I find meh. And then, there's guys I find myself so attracted to, I struggle to speak coherently when they're around. That guy, is Jackson.
Jackson is a 23 year old, 6' 2" country boy stud. Wavy blonde hair that he's made into a modest mullet, a great personality, killer smile, and a corn fed country boy bubble butt that any pair of jeans he wears can not possibly hide. Oh and he's a lineman, so while being young and hot, he's also very much blue collar. Pretty much, he's a gay country boys dream, and like most dream guys around here, he's "for the ladies only", or so i thought...
I met Jackson last year at the town bar. Naturally, he was trying to flirt with my friend Kelsie and like every well trained guy he had to scope out the males around her to see if they were a threat. He shook my hand and introduced himself. We exchanged names and instantly clicked. Shortly after, we had started a whole conversation separate from the rest of the group.
Half an hour later his buddy (and his ride) was heading out, so he was making his goodbyes to everyone. He comes up to me, stares me dead in the eyes, unflinching and without emotion and says "it was cool meeting you, hope I see you around more".
Without pause I say "Absolutely! You got snap?". It was now or never I figured.
"Hell yea man!" he exclaims and we exchange snaps.
I had no idea whether or not I should text him to say it was cool meeting him, had a good conversation etc without sounding weird, but I didn't have to wait long before I see Jackson typing. He was gonna message me first! Should I open it immediately? Wait 10 minutes? I couldn't wait 10 minutes lol, so I opened it up immediately.
It read "what's Kelsie doing. You guys should come to my house for some drinks".
I showed her the text and asked her if she wanted to go. She said she was too tired and didn't wanna hang with a guy she didn't know. Women, right?
I tell Jackson she's not down, but that I'm leaving the bar shortly and would be down to hang with him. His response was a typical straight male response: "If she's not gonna come whats the point".
I'm the point! I wanted to say. Instead I said "well we can still have a drink and chill for a bit if you want".
A few mins later he gives a similar bs "I'm getting tired, it's getting late" (it's 11:30 on a Saturday) answer as she did. I lose a little patience and just go for broke and say "well ngl, you're attractive af and if you wanted an amazing blowjob before bed, it could 100% be our secret". He almost instantly opens it up and responds "nah man, I aint about that", backs out of the chat, and instantly un-adds me on snap.
I blew it, and not in the way I was trying to, but in the worst kind of way. I felt so stupid for even trying. Did I really think I was gonna hookup with this gorgeous clearly straight guy just because he had great eye contact and gave me his snap??? All I knew in that moment was I still wanted to find a way to weasel my way back into his life. Somehow.
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The next few months I'd see him at the bar but he never said a word to me. It kinda stung but it's no different than being virtually invisible to every straight guy there so I kinda just started to ignore it. Until one day this spring while hanging with a group of my friends, I felt eyes on me. I looked over and about 15 feet away those eyes belonged to none other than... Jackson. I quickly glanced over and then back to my friend group, but that quick acknowledgement is all Jackson needed cause within a few seconds he started making his way over to me.
My friend was deep in a conversation but I tuned out whatever she was saying and started thinking what my first words to him were gonna be. He stood just 2 feet from me, towering over me as I tilt my head up since I was sitting down. He extended out his pointer finger and goes "Liam, right?" with a quizzical and intense look on his face.
In as deep of a voice as I can, I confidently look up to him and say "Yes sir, you're Jackson, right?" (obviously I knew his name but I wanted to appear as nonchalant as possible).
He tilts his head, gives a broad smile, and begins shaking his pointer fingered hand like a gun shooting motion towards me and says "Ayyy you remembered". Like no shit bro, how could I forget???
Not sure what to say, but absolutely wanting to continue this conversation, I simply stated "so, whats up?".
He looks down at his beer, holds it up and states very plainly "drinkin".
Not being able to work much with that, I quipp back "well this is a good place for that" and chuckle a little.
He's does a few quick nods to that but his eyes are already locked in behind us to whatever group just walked in. So I just sit awkwardly for a few seconds until he abruptly states "aight man, catch ya later" and gives my shoulder a tap as he walks away to said group.
My friend stops the conversation she was having with the rest of the group, gives a quizzical look and asks "who was that?"
Once again, trying to be as nonchalant as possible I outwardly state "some guy I met here a few months ago. No idea why he decided to come say hi now", but internally I was gleaning that Jackson randomly initiated conversation with me, even if that conversation was stupid and pointless. I now had an in.
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From there on out, every time I saw Jackson he would either acknowledge my existence with a nod or come up and start a conversation with me. What started out as an infatuation with him started becoming a more "bro"-like relationship, and I figured maybe I could accept it for what it was. That was, until this past June.
I decided to go to the bar on a weeknight. It was a wing Wednesday. It was far less crowded than weekends, but still every seat but one at the bar was taken. I take my seat and there's some larger hillbilly dude next to me on the right, and an empty seat with wallet and keys next to me on the left. I sit down to order a drink and a half dozen wings, and as I'm finishing up placing my order, the owner of said wallet and keys comes back to his seat. That seat belonged to none other than Jackson.
We instantly start with the usual cordial introduction and conversation, but this time since we're both there by ourselves and sitting down at the bar rather than at one of the tables or walking around/on the patio, the conversation becomes much more prolonged and personal. He starts telling me more stuff about his job, how labor intense it can be, about his family, hobbies, his exes, and even politics. Likewise, he takes an interest in knowing all that stuff about me too. And unlike usually when he has 10 friends around and is too stimulated to focus his attention on any one thing, he is currently solely focusing on me. That calculated and intense stare he usually has (which is still hot) is replaced by a warmer interest and innocent smirk (which is even hotter). I can live with this being as intimate as we get if we're bonding like this.
Suddenly, some random guy comes up behind him and starts massaging his shoulders as a joke. Apparently they're friends or whatever and Jackson reaches his arms up to try and pull the guy down for a fake kiss (usual straight boy dumb shit), but in doing so, unwittingly does something else...
You see, Jackson had worked a long day in the hot June sun, and apparently hadn't showered after, so when he lifts his arms up and starts moving his upper torso around, his steamy unwashed pits which are a mere 2 feet from me, release their pungent and masculine odor directly into my nostrils. Jackson stinks. They carry on this dumb tussle for about 30 seconds (fine by me) and I slowly but stealthily inch my nose a few inches closer to the source of the stink without making it too obvious. Even a foot or so away from his pits, I can tell they reek of hard working athletic hot male. I doubt he even applied deodorant before work and I somewhat question if he even showered at all that day.
In that moment I go from bro mode, to primal male instinct mode, and I fully realize, I can not live with this being as intimate as we get, I need to do it all. That evening before I leave, I tell Jackson how great it was to talk with him that evening and ask him for his snap. He easily obliges. He tells me we'll "have to set something up soon".
Yeah we will. He just has no idea what I'm planning to set up.
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Unlike last time he gave me his snap, I decided not to message him anything sexual and simply wait for the opportunity to arise. That opportunity, came in October.
I was with my usual friend group, and he was with his usual mix of moderately cute rednecks and obnoxious sluts that hang around moderately cute rednecks. An average Friday night. Around 11:30 him and his friends are making their next moves and he's saying his goodbyes and what not to random people around the bar, and as he comes up to our table (over the past few months he's made their acquaintance several times) he asks "What are y'all doing after?"
Before anyone gives a solid answer he continues "We're gonna have a small party back at my place if y'all wanna swing by" and finishes his statement by looking directly at me.
I say back " I guess we're not sure what we're doing, but I'll definitely let you know" (I know damn well no one else but me is gonna wanna go). He gives me a thumbs up, and walks away.
I look over at my friend and she says "yeah I'm not leaving the bar at 11:30, that's crazy", shutting down any possible debate about the subject.