I'm Not Gay -

Author's Note:

Hey guys, this is a brand new story. I can only hope you'll enjoy it!

Let me know in the comments and leave a rating if you're feeling generous.

Happy reading!

"Dev, I'm telling you this is it. There's no better way for you to get into it, trust me. Just give her a call, would you?"

I sighed deeply. "Fuck it, whatever. I'll do it today. Now will you let me enjoy my fucking holiday, finally?"

"Yeah, sure. Enjoy your sad little resort retreat, you 9 to 5 slave."

"Fuck you, Sam."

"Love you too buddy. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and dropped my phone on the scratched up plastic table sitting next to my slightly uncomfortable deck lounger. Too uncomfortable for what I paid. And that was true for most of my trip. And my life, really. A sad resort retreat it was. But nice too. It was nice to have some sun instead of rain, for one. And to not worry about groceries or household chores for a week. I was five days in and already dreading my flight back to the Netherlands on Sunday. I was lucky enough to have another week to myself upon my return, even if I had no idea what to do with those days. And then I'd go back to my sad dead-end job, in my sad office, with my sad, sad co-workers and even sadder boss. All was sad. Especially the fact that I was complaining to myself how sad it all was, even when I knew that there were people who would kill for my security and comforts. The sad truth of Western capitalism. The rat race that everyone wants so desperately to participate in. Until they do and realise it's a race to the death. I really couldn't be more grateful to Sam for handing me a possible out. But fuck if I'd ever admit it to him.

At 26 years old, there were still a lot of things I had to learn about life. And how to take a compliment or a favour was one of them. Even from my best friend. I closed ny eyes and thought about what I'd say to Tania. She was the person Sam had told me about, and the one who could possibly get me out of living the rest of my life as a mildly depressed waste of oxygen. As the Aegean Sea's waves softly brushed against the white sands of the private beach that was attached to the resort, a voice in my head told me to '

Just do it

.' What the hell did I have to lose, really? Sam must have known me even better than I thought, calling me up while I was trying to relax in Turkey. He must have realised that I would never do something like this, calling Tania, in-between days. While I was stuck in my daily rut. But here, surrounded by all these resort-goers that also lived from holiday to holiday, and then seeing the locals living the exact opposite way, I felt that strange limbo-esque feeling creeping in. The one that you only get when you leave regular life behind for a while. When you feel like anything is possible, because you're watching proof of that all around you.

So, I dialled. And she picked up on the first ring, making my breath catch in my throat at her chirpy greeting.

"Devon! I was expecting your call today! Did Sam discuss the details with you already? Or do you need a rundown?"

"Uh... Hi. Tania, I presume?"

"Bingo, sir. Judging by your tone, Sam's just throwing you into the deep end, hm?"

"He is."

"Ah well, it's lot's more fun that way, anyway. Let me get you up to speed then. You sitting down?"

I chuckled at her blatant enthusiasm. "Yes, I am. Please, go on."

And she did. Tania proceeded to tell me all about the company, the current project she and her team were occupied, her thoughts on my previous work and how she believed it would fit in 'Magnificently' with her vision. Within less than half an hour I was offered more than double my current salary, relocation and housing in a two-bedroom apartment in the outskirts of The Hague and a Golf to get around.

"Can I think about it and call you back with an answer?"

"Sure, just don't take too long. I can give you a day."

"Thank you, Tania. I really appreciate this. Thanks."

"A friend of Sam is a friend of mine. Bye Devon, I hope you'll join the team."

"Bye."

A sip of my espresso martini prompted me to seriously entertain the possibility of accepting Tania's offer. What would my life look like if I just said yes? Leaving Hickory behind? Leaving my life, my family, friends and my colleagues in North Carolina? Giving up certainty?

Then again, I would earn a lot more money. I would have adventure. I'd be leading my own team instead of being constantly frustrated with the lack of passion and progress in my current workspace. And friends? Honestly? Barely. Family?... Meh. I would be too busy working my dream job anyway. I wouldn't have to drag myself through the daily duties of a stuffy mortgage consultant any longer. I'd be creating, fantasizing. Manifesting and building the most unimaginable things into existence. As a game writer and narrative designer, I'd finally be able to let my creativity flow free. Something I thought about every single day.

Dreamed of, really.

Why the hell not?

A voice in my head said.

Maybe it was the martini, but whatever.

Tania sounded surprised. Which I expected because it'd barely been half an hour since we hung up.

"Devon! Hi again."

"Hi Tania."

"Am I right thinking you've had an epiphany in my favour?"

I laughed. "I believe I have. I'll be very happy to accept your offer."

"Ha! I had a feeling. That's great news Devon! I'll send you all the details and the contract. We're very happy to have you joining our team. Can't wait to work with you."

she confessed.

---

Fuck.

Of course I couldn't catch a break. Even now

Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!

"Devon, this is Lucas Townsend, the head developer. You'll be working together on many different fronts, so I'll leave you two to get to know one another right now. I'll come pick you up in your office in half an hour? Then I'll walk you through the process." After dropping this bomb on me she left right away.

"Hey man, how've you been?" His crooked grin slides down my suit-clad frame, leaving a trail of shivers. I felt a blush of embarrassment racing up my neck and my cheeks. "Devon, hm? I hadn't pegged you for a

'Devon.'

Should have known, though. Smart guy, you are."

My dick

twitched

in my pants. It'd been swelling up from the moment I laid eyes on him and I could only hope he hadn't noticed.

I had two choices here, I knew. Either I would confront him immediately and tell him, very clearly, that I wasn't going to be taking his shit. Or I could keep blushing and stutter out some awkward remark.

A big part of my life would hang on that choice. So, I manned up. I went up to him, grabbed his hand and shook it, looking up into his smirking face.

"I don't know what you were thinking when you saw me walking in here just now, and frankly, I don't give a fuck. I'm here to do a job. I really want this to work out and I'm not looking for anything else here. Not now, not ever. So put it out of your mind and let's keep things strictly professional from here on out,

Lucas

."

To my honest surprise, his smirk was replaced by raised eyebrows and a sincere smile. "I understand. Don't worry, professional it is." He shook back. After that, he took me around the corner and introduced me to the people I'd be working with in his department. Without any inclination of us having met previously. He kept his word,

strictly professional.

And I appreciated it.

It was exciting to be taken into this new environment. There was no nine-to-five mentality in this place. Only creative minds working well together. That became clear to me almost instantly, shaking hands and introducing myself. Lucas showed me what they were currently working on, a historical adventure narrative, following a time travelling hero who tries to influence his own present by changing his family history. Then he took me to get some coffee and talked more about what I would be bringing to the table. I was happy that we'd stepped over the little bump of our past and discovered that he was at least as passionate about this work as I was. By the end of the small tour, I was really looking forward to starting my new job here next week. Couldn't wait, really.

Lucas walked me back to Tania's office when we were done.

"Oh, and Devon?" He called, turning around before rounding the corner. I raised my head in acknowledgement. "Just so you know, you really weren't good enough for things to become awkward between us anyway. I was just feeling sorry for you that night." He winked. But not in a joking manner.

The fucking asshole.

---

Three years ago, on 'That night'

"C'mon Dev, you're gonna enjoy this. I promise. Broaden your horizon. Live a little! It's a different

experience!

"

"It's a sex party, Sam." I whined. "And a free for all one, at that. How have I ever given you the impression that I'd be into that?" I was frustrated with him. And for good reason. "I'm not fucking bisexual, I told you a million times!"

"Nobody said you were, buddy. Although you could have fooled me. You haven't touched a girl in years, save for your mom." He raised his eyebrows at me as we made our way across the street towards an old club we used to go to. "And I'd be hurt if you

were

bi, knowing full well that I've been trying to tap your ass a thousand times." He smacked my butt for emphasis, earning a scowl.

He just laughed, "Relax, dude! This party is for

everyone

, you can just hook-up with any chick in there, as long as she's willing." Apparently, the club had been renovated and turned into an

'erotic theater.'

Though every time I passed it on my way to work it seemed more like an ordinary brothel to me. I didn't understand how the place was even legal in the first place.

I scoffed. "If this is all about me getting laid, you could've just hooked me up with Jenna at your office. Or you could have literally brought me to

any fucking bar

in town."

"Too boring! We go to bars all the time. And I'm pretty sure the last time you hooked up with anyone from one of them was what, a hundred years ago? C'mon Dev, you are twenty-fucing-three years old and you haven't flirted with anyone since you lost your virginity in high school. We need to

surround

you with sex, otherwise your dick will just fall right off, I swear." He explained. Poorly. "And Jenna's a lesbian."

"Not everyone's a damn nympho like you, Sam."

But Sam

was

my best friend and he'd been begging me to come with him to this party for a long time. He'd failed to mention anything about the sexual nature of it all until the other night, when he dropped the bomb on me after getting me

really

drunk. And so, I agreed. Only to wake up with major regret the morning after.

Sam had been bugging me for months about how distant and engrossed in my work I'd become. I barely saw any of my friends and family anymore. The only reason Sam and I still saw each other regularly was because we worked in the same building and I couldn't escape him

all the time.

And I was reluctantly thankful to him for that.

Also, maybe he had a point. I was sure I'd had sex after high school, even if I couldn't remember where, when and with whom. No girl had interested me over the past six years. Maybe I

did

need some sort of wake-up call.

So, here I was.

Five minutes later, we entered the building after Sam had showed our invitations and the STD-test results he'd made me get beforehand. I grew red with embarrassment as we made our way to the entrance hall. Rows of lockers lined the walls on either side of us, and I immediately understood why. While it'd been a chilly October evening outside, in here it was like we'd been transported to the Mediterranean. I shed my coat and made my way towards the nearest available locker when Sam coughed behind me. I turned and followed his finger, which was pointing at a guy and a girl across the hall who were busy shoving their clothes inside a locker.

All

of their clothes. Except for the mandatory white sauna slippers we were all wearing.

Right, that makes sense

"Ugh." I let out, before shaking my head and pulling off everything I was wearing unceremoniously. An already naked Sam was standing too close for comfort, his eyes wide and expectant.

"Can you feel it, dude? The excitement? The rush? The sense of freedom?!" He shook my shoulder, steering me towards the entrance to what I assumed was the

'party', if the music and sounds of people talking were anything to go by

. The security guys, who were fully clothed by the way, didn't seem even a little fazed.

All in a day's work, I guess

"

Jesus

, Sam. How many of these parties have you been to?"

"A few. And I never went home disappointed." He winked.

It was then, just before entering through the faded glass doors, that I decided to roll with it. I was here now and apparently, I was the only one feeling uncomfortable. I tried to just shake it off.

It was a good thing I had, because three seconds later I was met with the sight of more naked people than I'd ever seen packed together. There must have been at least a hundred in the first room alone. Dancing, drinking and lounging on sofas and armchairs or standing at the bar. And all of them in good shape. I suspected the lighting had something to do with that, as well as the two tequila shots Sam and I had pre-gamed to give me some Dutch courage.

Literally

. I was extremely aware of my own naked body all of a sudden. I flexed, almost as a reflex when a few heads turned to survey the fresh meat that had come to the party. Girls and guys alike ran their eyes down our bodies fleetingly, before turning back to what they were doing. I felt some blood rushing to my groin involuntarily.

I must have had a surprised look on my face because after inhaling dramatically and wrapping his arm around my naked shoulder, Sam shot me an amused look and asked, "Not what you were expecting, huh?" He squeezed me into the side his toned frame. "What, you thought it'd just be one big orgy? I can't believe you think I would do that shit."

I took a moment to gather my thoughts before extracting myself from Sam. "Let's just get a drink, yeah?"

When we sat at the bar, beer in hand as I thanked the buxom female bartender, I noticed the smell of the room. Sweat and sex. Unmistakable. Yet no one was fucking with us in the room, clearly. "So what then, what is this? How does it work?" I asked.

Sam had already spotted a couple nearby and was flirting with them at a distance. The guy was enormous, and the girl was absolutely tiny next to him. I didn't let my gaze linger, pointedly avoiding their lower regions. Sam turned to me.

"How does

what

work?"

Unbelievable

"

This!

This 'party' or whatever you wanna call it. No one's having sex. So, what's it about?"

"Fucking hell, okay," he sighed, clearly annoyed that he didn't get to continue his goggling at his two distractions. "We're not animals, yeah? The sex takes place in those rooms over there." Sam pointed at the far end of the room where there was a hallway. The same as with the lockers, but this wall was lined with doors with what I assumed were old dressing rooms or something. I hadn't seen anyone go in there until right then. The couple that had entered just before us disappeared into the hallway. With two other guys.

"So what, is this just a swingers' club?" I asked incredulously, hoping to god I was wrong.

Sam smiled. "

Nooo

. Like I said, this is or everyone. It's just a nudist party in here. Ordinary party. But, if you get lucky..." He raised his eyebrows at me and took a sip of his beer. I shook my head expectantly.

"

Yeah?

If you get lucky, then what?"

"Then you go to the bar, ask for a key, go have fun, come back and return your key again."

I frowned. Could this actually be happening? People actually

do

this?

"Then what about those guys?" I pointed at Sam's new toys. "They're clearly a couple. So what the hell?"

He smirked again. "

Remember

, you dumbass. Broaden your horizon, feel the freedom. This party is for everyone. Straight, gay, bi, pan, single, not single. Kinky and not kinky. First timers and sex gods." He sipped again. "All we need is mutual consent, and we're ready to go." Then finished his beer, looked at the girl behind the bar who'd been listening in, smiling, and he stretched out his hand. The girl handed him a key, as if on cue. "Have fun, Sammy."

He winked at her and took one last look at me before walking over to his prey. "Have fun, Dev. Let go. I'll see you later." As he walked, he added. "And we're not friends anymore if I don't see you going into one of that rooms and coming out with a grin tonight."

I grabbed my beer and downed it in frustration. "Asshole."

The girl got the hint and fetched me another beer. "You'll be alright, stud. First timers are always nervous, but they also have the best time."

As she said it, I could feel someone coming up behind me. I turned around and almost gasped. Whether in surprise or awe, I still don't know. Standing right behind my stool was a guy. The word '

gorgeous'

entered my mind, and I pushed it away immediately. But he was undeniably handsome, effortlessly so. His eyes pierced mine when I turned to face him. He averted his eyes to the girl behind the bar leaving me to stare up at his face.

"Hey Gaby," he said to her as I watched his lips move. "He a first timer?"

"Sure is, Lucas. Why? Haven't had your fill yet?" she replied. They were talking about me, I realised. As if I wasn't there. I'm not sure I

was

all there in that moment. The guy, Lucas, pressed his naked frame against my side. I could already see he was taller than me. Not much, but an inch at least. I decided not to look down but I could feel something warm and lenghty press against my elbow. And his arms were at his sides.

"Nah. Just send the third one away. Didn't do it for me. I need a new one."

A new one?

He was talking as if he came here regularly and had already gone into one of the rooms multiple times tonight. And I was his new one, undoubtedly.

"Who's he with?" Lucas asked her and laid a hand on my shoulder. Either the touch or his deep voice sent a shiver up my spine. I hoped he hadn't noticed. What the

fuck

was happening right now?

"You're good, he's with Sammy." Gaby said.

Lucas squeezed and massaged my shoulder with one hand. I let him. But he still talked over me as if I was invisible. Why didn't he look at me? Did I want him to? Is that why I leaned into him a little?

"Ah, Sammy. Well, he never disappoints. He's got great taste." Lucas said as he leaned forward, responding to my move.

"That he does." Gaby chuckled. "Go easy in this one, will you? He's convinced he's 'straight.' Don't push too hard."

Lucas chuckled. I loved the sound of that. "Do I ever?" he said, and then he turned my stool around all the way. We were facing each other now. "What's your name?" he asked.

I spluttered a response. "Uhh, Jesse." I didn't think it was a good idea to go by Dev that night. In case it came back to bite me in the ass.

He shook my hand. "Jesse, nice to meet you. I'm Lucas."

He finally looked at me again. Into my eyes. My soul. As if he was deciding what he wanted to do with me.

Do with me? Hold the fuck on, Dev.

"Uhh, I'm not gay." I muttered.

A dazzling smile graced his face and he looked down at my groin. "You sure?"

I followed his eyes and saw my traitorous dick standing straight up. The head exposed and flared, gleaming with precum. My foreskin opened like a flower under his gaze.