Ian and Wes

I heard a door slam and looked up. When I didn't see anything, I turned back to Brian.

"Thanks again for helping me with that, man. That clasp was not budging for me. I wanna make sure it doesn't get all messed up from the pool."

Brian nodded at me, "Any time. I, uh, put it in your bag just like you said."

I smiled at him, relieved that that little disaster was averted. I knew how much that bracelet meant to Wes. And to me, really. I'd hate for it to get damaged by the chlorine, or worse, lost in the pool.

I looked around and noticed that Wes hadn't showed up to the meet yet. Maybe he got side tracked on his way over? I was sure he'd show eventually.

When Wes still wasn't there after the first few events were finished, I started to suspect that something was up.

He'd been acting pretty weird that day. Ever since he got this idea in his head about Brian trying to get with me, he just would not let it go.

I'll admit, at first I found it actually pretty hot that my man was getting territorial over me. It made me feel valued. Desired. I loved when Wes brought his dominant side to the forefront in the bedroom.

But after the second time he brought up Brian, it was much less sexy and much more annoying. Eventually it got me downright irritated.

One thing about Wes is he's always got this perpetual air of confidence. Like I told him one of the first times we hung out, it's his Big Dick Energy.

It wasn't like him at all to let someone like Brian bother him. He was acting like he was threatened by Brian.

I actually laughed out loud at the thought.

Brian Montgomery was from an ultra-conservative Christian family. Like the kind that wouldn't let him read Harry Potter or watch scary movies. Brian was always telling stories about church camp and youth group. It was like his religion was his whole life. He invited me to come to church with him one time in 10

th

grade. I ended up going and oh man, that was wild. People were speaking in tongues and shit ("Holy rollers" my mom had said when I told her the story). I couldn't decide whether I should laugh or run screaming. It was one of the most uncomfortable mornings of my life. He asked me to come back with him after that and I think I made up some lie about volunteering with my mom on Sundays just to avoid hurting his feelings.

So yeah, Wes was absolutely correct that Brian was a strange guy, but not in the way that Wes was thinking.

In fact, Wes's attitude was a real buzzkill. I wanted that confident side of him to come back. And fast. This wasn't the Wes I knew and loved.

It's not like Brian was even a real part of my life. I literally only saw him at swim practice. He wasn't part of our normal group and I truly never even thought about him until Wes started bringing him up.

You know, for being the guy that taught me the "Fuck 'em" mantra, Wes sure seemed to care about the opinion of at least one random person.

Whatever.

Me: What happened with the meet?

I sent him the text while redressing after my shower. I refastened the bracelet on my wrist and let out a sigh of relief when it was back in place.

When I had gotten out of the pool after my last event, I couldn't find it in my bag. I started to freak out a little bit, searching through every nook and cranny in the vicinity. Luckily I found it somehow hidden beneath some of the other guys' stuff. That was certainly a close one. But I had it now and that was the most important thing.

I definitely wasn't going to tell Wes that I almost lost it.

I kept glancing at my phone for Wes's reply.

It didn't come.

Brian offered to give me a ride home since I clearly couldn't get one from Wes.

He had some really awful Christian contemporary band playing on the radio. The guy on the track was singing about his love for God as if they were actual lovers. After a line about "feeling God touching him in a special place," I couldn't help the look of disgust and alarm spread across my face.

"Oh. Hah. Yeah, I like their older stuff more anyway. Ha ha," Brian's laugh was strained as he flipped to a different, more neutral radio station.

I nodded politely and turned to stare out the window as he drove away from the school.

"So, um, you have a good holiday break?"

I wasn't really in the mood for conversation, but I didn't want to be rude. "Yeah, yeah it was good. Mostly just spent time hanging out. How about you?"

"Oh, hah. Yeah. Hanging out with Wes?"

My eyebrow raised reflexively at the question. Obviously I had been hanging out with my boyfriend, what the hell kind of question was that? Remembering that Brian was just kind of weird with social interaction in general, I brushed it off and responded with a simple "Yeah."

"Cool... Cool cool cool..." He trailed off before continuing, "So, I heard Kevin's having a party tomorrow night. You gonna go?"

I snorted, remembering Kevin talking about his plans for the party at lunch. Kevin's dad was going out of town for the weekend, so what else was a teen to do than throw a house party? Jared's older brother even agreed to get us a couple kegs. I laughed but shook my head at him. Kevin's dad was super strict so he'd be fucking dead if his dad ever found out about the party. I'm sure Jared, Steve, and I would be helping with clean up for the rest of the weekend.

That's what friends are for, right?

I responded back to Brian, "Yeah, I'll be there, that's for sure."

Brian perked up with a smile, "Yeah, yeah, me too. Definitely."

We sat in relative silence until his car pulled into my driveway. I waved him off and checked my phone once again.

I had a couple texts from my mom and another from Steve.

Nothing from Wes.

***

As my eyes opened early the next morning, my first instinct was to grab my phone.

I stared at the screen. Absolutely fucking nothing. I almost couldn't believe it.

I called him like 4 times last night and he never answered.

I rushed to school so I could ask him what the hell was going on with him.

But he didn't show.

Shit. This isn't good.

I started to worry, visions of him lying bloody on the side of the road, or laid up in a hospital bed, started popping into my head in succession.

Me: Hey... I don't know what's going on. Just let me know you're ok?

I hit "Send" on the text during AP Bio as I stared at his empty chair.

When I still didn't hear anything, I called his dad during lunch period. I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey... Uh, Hi, Mr. Houston. Its me, Ian. Ian McNair."

"Ian! Hello! Look, we've talked about this. It's 'Frank', please!" I heard the older man's laughter.

I laughed back, knowing full well that I would never bring myself to call him by his first name. "So, I'm just calling to make sure Wes is ok? He, uh, he's not at school today and I just wanted to... you know... check..." I trailed off, hoping that I wasn't sounding like an obsessive stalker.

"Ah, yeah. He's just taking some time. Think of it like a mental health day. I'm sure he'll talk to you when he's ready, Ian. Just be patient."

I could just picture the understanding smile on Wes's dad's face. I still didn't get it, but at least now I knew I didn't have to start calling emergency rooms looking for Wes. "Ok. Um... thanks."

"Ian, before you go-- I hate to get involved in these things, but I have to ask... you do still have that bracelet, don't you?"

I blinked at the question, genuinely surprised by it. "Yeah, yeah of course. I'm looking at it right now." I stared down at the brown braided leather that had become so special to me.

"I figured as much. Hey, sorry, but I've got to run to a meeting. It was good talking with you Ian. See you soon!"

"Yeah, thanks Mr. Houston," I heard his deep laughter once again at the formality before the line disconnected.

I returned to my seat at the lunch table with Jared, Kevin, and Steve and tried my best to pretend like I gave a shit about Kevin's plans for the party tonight.

***

I really, really don't want to go to this fucking party.

Wes is clearly going through something, but he won't fucking talk to me. I was super relieved to hear from his dad that he's physically ok, but the more I thought about it, the more it actually made me more upset. Like at least I could deal with him not replying to me or answering my calls if he was in a full body cast or something.

But this ghosting for no reason?

Ghosting me AFTER nagging the shit out of me over Brian fucking Montgomery?

I was pissed.

You know what, fuck Wes.

If he doesn't want to talk to me, fine. If he doesn't want to listen to me when I remind him I can handle myself, fine. If he's gonna let himself believe that I'd ever pick Brian Montgomery over him and turn himself into such a little bitch over it? FINE.

Fuck him.

I got ready for the party, forcing myself to get dressed and do my hair through muscle memory. I was in no mood to be around people, but I also knew that wallowing in self-pity in my bedroom probably wasn't the best use of my time either. Plus I had to be there for Kevin.

Maybe I'd just hang out on the wall and make sure nobody broke anything too expensive.

Steve picked me up on his way over. Kevin was just a few houses down from Wes, so I had to actively concentrate on keeping my mood from going sour as we parked. He was probably over there right now. Still refusing to talk to me.

The kegs were being dropped off and Kevin was smiling from ear-to-ear, directing people and telling anyone who would listen that this was going to be the party to end all parties.

I rolled my eyes and leant a hand to set up.

Once people started to arrive, the beer flowed continuously.

I helped myself to several cups.

I was feeling pretty damn warm pretty damn quickly.

I started to dance. A make-shift dance floor was staged in the living room. The music was super random, but that only added to the fun. It changed from current hip hop tracks to 90s alternative, to lots of different styles in between. It was keeping everyone on their toes in the best way possible.

Jared and his girlfriend Lindsay were grinding away in the center of the crowd. I danced alone near them.

The beer had solidly convinced me that: a) I was not pathetic, b) I was not the third wheel, and c) the key to life and to being a good dancer is just to care less.

I was actually getting really into it my groove.

At some point, a junior girl I vaguely recognized bumped into my side and started dancing with me. It was a total blast. I had enough alcohol in me that any inhibitions were long gone. Plus, she was a really good dancer (and not even in a drunk sort of way. I could tell she was legitimately good at this) and she kept me on beat when I got a little too mixed up.

It was the perfect low-pressure situation—as an openly gay man paired with a straight woman, there was obviously nothing between us. She ground her ass on me for a bit with neither one of us worried about what it meant or forming any expectations.

"Stephanie!" she had shouted her name to me at one point. I shook her hand with mock-formality as we laughed our way through a particularly sexual song.

Turns out I can actually make new friends when I want to. Who knew?

Someone handed me another beer and I chugged it in between shouting the lyrics of whatever new song was playing.

Eventually I felt another set of hands on me—definitely not a Stephanie's. These hands were slightly bigger and gripped me much harder. It actually kind of hurt.

I turned around and saw Brian holding my hips.

"What the fuck?!" I said loudly, though I'm sure no one heard me over the sound of the music and people partying. I pulled his hands off of me and backed off the dance floor.

Fuck, I was getting dizzy.

I need to sit down.

But I need to piss more.

How many times had I been in this house over the years? And now when I really need one, I somehow can't find the bathroom. I must be really fucked up.

My bladder kept screaming at me to find a toilet.

After a couple wrong turns, I finally found a bathroom. I ran into the room and pushed the door mostly closed behind me.

I pulled my zipper down and pulled my dick out. My stream just started to flow when I heard a noise behind me. "Occupado!!" I called out drunkenly over my shoulder.

I didn't hear a response so I kept closed my eyes and focused on the feeling of sweet release. A little shiver ran up my spine at the sensation. When finished, I shook my dick a time or two and turned around as I began pushing it back in my pants.

My eyes were on the floor and I saw a pair of shoes before me. I looked up and saw him staring at the dick in my hand.

Brian.

He looked hungry.

He looked fucking insane.

"DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK?!" I yelled.

"What's the matter, baby?" A creepy smile formed on his face. His normally mousey and small features were twisted somehow into something stranger. Darker. It was like I was seeing him for the first time.

"GET THE FUCK OUT, MAN!" I scrambled with my drunken and slow fingers to get my dick back in my pants as soon as possible.

Suddenly, Brian was pulled forcefully out of the room.

I heard a loud CRASH and a thud. Dick now decidedly back in my pants, I poked my head out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

A broad, dark figure had Brian up against the wall, forearm at his neck.

My head felt fuzzier by the second. I sat down and leaned against the opposite wall in the hallway. I closed my eyes and the sounds around me started to fade away.

The last thing I remember is thinking that I was certainly, without-a-doubt, really fucked up.

***

Sunlight hitting my eyelids forced me to awaken the next day. My head was spinning and my stomach felt queasy. It took me a minute to get my bearings enough to notice that I was on the couch in Kevin's living room. Jared and Lindsay were both tucked into a single sleeping bag on the floor.

I wonder if they fucked in front of me while I was sleeping?

The absurdity of the random thought made me laugh out loud, which I instantly regretted. The sound of my own laughter pierced my ears. My shoulder was sore from the position I'd been sleeping in.

"I thought house parties were supposed to be fun?" I mused softly.

Jared's rumble of laughter rang out, once again hurting my ears. "We half-thought you were dead, man. Welcome to the world of the living."

Even the sound of Lindsay's quiet giggling grated on me.

"Ah, unfortunately, yeah, I'm still here. Shit. What the hell happened last night?" I rubbed my eyes, shaking the crust loose.

I heard Lindsay whispering to Jared for a bit before Jared responded. "Uh... how much do you remember?"

I tried to think back but couldn't get very far. "I don't know, man. My brain hurts. I went to piss at some point..."

"Yeah you did. And Brian Montgomery apparently followed you in."

The sight of Brian's unhinged smile came rushing back to me, "What the fuck," I exclaimed aloud, remembering how jarring his presence had been.

"Yeah, then Wes came in and beat his ass." Jared started laughing hysterically.

I sat up on the couch way too suddenly. The room spun for a few seconds before I could get my head straight again. "Wes? Wes was here?" After he'd fucking ignored me all day?

Lindsay bit the inside of her lip, "I kind of texted him..." I shot her a confused look so she continued, "Brian was being real creepy when we were all dancing. He was like... watching you... We asked Stephanie to hang by you just so Brian would keep his distance. I figured Wes would be coming over sooner or later anyway so I just asked him to hurry up since it was such a weird vibe."

I blinked at her, unsure of how I hadn't noticed Brian's actions while dancing. It was such a mix of bodies and loud music, that honestly the more I thought about it, I realized that I probably wouldn't have noticed a bomb go off.

It kind of sucked to learn that Stephanie was only dancing with me to babysit. It kinda felt like we had bonded...

"Yeah, so, after Wes kicked Brian's ass, everyone just kinda left," Jared continued. "Kevin was a little mad the party ended so early."

I laughed, "Of course he was."

Jared chuckled, "Yeah. Anyway, Wes dragged your passed out ass to the couch then he slept in the chair over there," I looked over to the now-empty recliner. Jared saw my look, "He's been cleaning up with Steve all morning. It's like noon, man."

I stretched my arms and looked back down at Jared and Lindsay. "Ok, well, I obviously have a reason, but what's you lazy asses' excuse for not helping?"

Lindsay nuzzled in closer to Jared, wrapping her arm around his chest under the sleeping bag, "It's warmer in here...."

"Yeah, and we had to make sure you survived into the morning, duh." Jared offered with a sly grin.

I snorted and stood up, pretending to kick Jared in the ribs. They both laughed and I made my way towards the kitchen.

If I didn't know any better, I would've sworn that there had never been a party here based on the state of the kitchen. It was spotless. If anything, Kevin's dad might know something was up just based on the fact that the place looked better than how he'd left it.

I was standing there admiring the hard work that must have gone into it when Wes walked in, a stack of used solo cups in his hands. He paused for a second when he saw me then turned to throw the cups in the trash can.

"Uh. Hey." I heard myself say.

I know, I'm a stunning conversationalist.

Wes leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. His large biceps bulged and caught my eye. I might have been aroused if there wasn't so much going through my head at that moment.

"Hey, Ian." He said simply.

Hah. Equally great reply.

We must be made for each other.

The thought made my heart ache.

I looked at him. Here he was, within reach. I could extend an arm and touch him. I could make his body feel good in all the ways he'd taught me. I could push down the feelings for both of us, if only for just a short while. I could force us both to temporarily forget the last couple of days.

But I didn't move.

I couldn't.

And Wes seemed glued to his spot across from me.

So we stood there.

Staring.

Finally, mercifully, Wes opened his mouth to speak. "I really wish I would've been wrong about that guy."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "So we're going with 'I told you so'? Really?" My laugh was joyless.

"You know damn well that's not what I mean." He shot back.

"Do I?" I countered, "Do I know even you at all? Do I know whether you're just gonna ghost me again out of nowhere?"

Wes's mouth snapped shut and he averted his gaze.

I took a step forward towards him, "Yeah, big fucking man, just up and leaves when the going gets tough! You could've at least talked to me!" I felt the anger bubbling in my stomach.

"I tried, but you didn't listen to me." He said levelly. He was quiet. It was like he was refusing to match my tone.

That pissed me off more. I wanted him to be just as riled up as I was.

I wanted something from him. Some emotion. Anything.

Anything was better than the goddamn radio silence.

"So you ignore me and skip school? Are you kidding? I thought you were fucking dead or hurt or something!"

He just shrugged.

I continued, even more inflamed by his lack of response, "Look, I get that it's easy for you to just leave people and move on to the next piece of ass, but that's not a normal fucking reaction to just disappear!"

That sure got his attention. His dark brown eyes looked like they were gonna bulge out of his head.

"Are you for real right now? ME move on to the next piece of ass?!" He bellowed at me. "I watched him rip off your bracelet and toss it like a piece of TRASH! AND YOU LET HIM!" Wes's deep voice continued thunderously. This time he took a step towards me and I retreated back. "Yeah, that's right, I saw the whole thing before the meet! And sure, I thought it was cute and all at first that you don't know how amazing you are, but I told you how many times that this guy is a fucking CREEP and you refused to listen! I don't even know what the hell would have happened if I hadn't walked in on you in the bathroom when I did!" He paused for only a moment to take a breath. "You think you're so tough, always so damn quick to tell me that you don't need me or my protection-- that you can get by just fine without me. Well guess what, Ian? You fucking needed me last night!" I continued my retreat backwards with every verbal blow from Wes. "But no, you thought you knew better even though every single other person around you could see what was going on! So then I have to go and beat this guy's ass—do you have any idea what could happen to me for that? What would happen to my chances for the future if he decides to press charges?!"