For as long as I can remember, I've had urges to be with a man. Now, there is nothing wrong with being gay, in fact I admire (and lust after) gay men. In my case, I've been a married guy with kids etc. You know the type, indulging in my needs for cock only when I can, usually anonymously, giving meaningless blow jobs at the occasional visit to a bath house when I'd arranged to go to a conference out of town. Looking back it seemed that I found my need to be with men to always be in the background, bubbling up like a volcano a couple of times a year. Once in a while I go into heat and really need the strong loving of a man. Sex at home was fine, not earth shattering, but loving and occasionally exciting, if not completely satisfying for me.
After 33 wonderful years together, my bride died after a long battle with cancer. And there I was, alone with myself. Kids grown, we got cheated out of the empty nester years.
I had some questions about myself that I finally thought I could get answered and after some time I went to the local bath house here in Orlando, deciding that I ought to look into this unsatisfied aspect of my personality and find out if I was actually gay or not. As I'd done in my past, I headed for anonymous sex at Orlando's local bath house.
As an attractive older man in athletic shape and looking younger than my 62 years, I had sex that day at the bath house, getting and giving oral with a few different men at the spa. After some public area play in the dark room, I ended up back in my room with an older black man after he approached me and said he wanted to have me (I liked the idea of someone wanting me) but he really couldn't get it up and I realized that maybe I was getting a little old for this anonymous shit and I went home feeling a little trashy, empty, and confused. Maybe I just needed time...
And I got it, COVID 19 hit and any hopes of meeting anyone for anonymous sex seemed like a monumentally terrible idea. Back I went to Literotica and Pornhub, fisting my cock and cumming all over my hairy chest while imagining being seduced by a handsome and kind man who understands my needs and shares them.
A few weeks ago I got vaccinated and I began to wonder if my interrupted journey might begin again soon, the urge for being with a man was strong but I needed to learn to play a new game with different rules. I decided I wanted more than anonymous sex, I wanted a lover. I joined a dating website and posted a picture of my torso, no face, no cock, but I looked good, hairy, developed, no beer belly, and I posted an ad with my picture titled "I want to take a male lover." and wondered if my listing would get any attention at all. I also browsed at the listings around my area and found myself intrigued by the picture of one man, Carl, who was in his mid sixties, handsome and obviously a gay man. To me he looked kind, gentle, and attractive and I reached out to him, asking if we could become friends and that's how I found myself on a bench outside of a Starbucks, having coffee with him a day later!
Not only had Carl reached out to me, my posting must have been on the mark because I had 4 other men reach out within hours. I got brave and put up a face pic too and I had 5 more responses by that evening. It seems that I was still desirable, I felt excited and... kind of sexy.