Before my divorce, when I was happily married, I kept a secret from my wife. I loved my wife, enjoyed sex with her, enjoyed her company but something was missing in my life. I wanted sex with a man. I'd had several men before I met my wife, a long time ago and she knew nothing of that.
I suppressed these feelings for a long time but it wasn't something that would go away. The first few years of marriage, I ignored it and got on with my life. But later in life, these feelings for a man would grow and grow until I had to do something about it.
It wasn't easy finding a man. I was straight looking and acting and found it really difficult to get a partner. I tried a gay sauna once, had a lot of fun, but it wasn't what I was looking for. I tried to keep the feelings away for a while but they still kept coming and I got more and more frustrated over the years.
One day, I saw an advert in the paper for psychic readings. I called the number and arranged an appointment. It would be great to know what the future has in store for me. Next day, I was walking along a Perth Street, looking for the address. I walked in and met the psychic. He shuffled a pack of tarot cards and told me to pick a few of them. The guy was older than me, out of shape and wasn't the most handsome of people. Just an ordinary guy.
I got the usual story, 'life was challenging but you'll soon get over it, money is coming your way, you are going to go on a journey, new friends just around the corner,' etc. All the usual stuff. He then said he does energy healing, heat would come from his hands and make the person feel better. He convinced me to agree to try it.
I lay on the floor and he told me to close my eyes and relax. I felt nothing, no heat, no energy, nothing at all. Maybe it was my fault. It was relaxing though, I'll say that. He startled me from my relaxed mind and said, 'you're getting quite hard.' I didn't know what he meant so I didn't know what to say. Was he talking about my energy levels? Suddenly, I felt his hand on my groin, he left it there and told me I was getting hard again. God, that was exciting.
I wasn't getting hard, as he was saying, although now his hand was on me, I could feel my cock stirring. I lay there, eyes closed, completely relaxed, beginning to get hard and thinking, yes, I want this. I never for one moment thought I would have a liaison with a guy after going to get my cards read. So yes, I was getting turned on.
He slowly unzipped me, taking out my cock and gripping it. I was really getting turned on now. My cock was rock hard. I got on to my knees and he stood up. I fondled his cock, slowly taking it out of his trousers. He was hard, I moaned and felt the thrills running down my back. He was quite small, disappointingly small, I thought. Never mind, it was a cock and this was what I needed.
I wanked him, teasing him with my tongue. I licked the head of his cock, slowly taking him into my mouth. Immediately he spurted in my mouth. I choked as he took me by surprise, spunk dripping down my mouth. There was no warning at all. Normally I can tell when a guy is about to cum but there were no signs at all. I hadn't even had time get much of his cock in my mouth. God, premature ejaculation. It was nice though, I get so turned on by an erection and go wild when I feel it spunking in me. So, I was turned on, looking at him to see if he would suck me.
He went completely weird. In a right panic. He quickly zipped his cock up, pulled me up off my knees and said I had to go. 'Quickly, before the client comes, go, go, go,' he said. I asked him what he meant and he said he had just remembered he had a client coming.
No, the guy had come and now the excitement for him was over. He just wanted me to go. I was a little bit annoyed. I zipped myself up, looked at him and walked out. He followed me, tapping my back to hurry me along.
I spat whatever spunk was left in my mouth into the gutter. The bastard, I thought. Fucking just used me. Another one to put down to experience. My passion for a man had suddenly died down. For a while. I know it will come back again. I needed to just get on with my life for the moment.
A few months later and I was again thinking about men all the time. I would look at their groins as they walked in the street. I would imagine what they would look like undressed. I would fantasize about being with a man, being taken, sucking cock, exploding into a guy's mouth. Something needed to be done about it.
Having had my fingers burnt with the psychic, I wondered how to meet a man. Someone nice who understands the need I have to enjoy a man and for a man to enjoy me. I placed an advert in the lonely hearts column and was surprised by the response. I managed to keep the letters safe from my wife, she had no idea and it needed to stay like that.
Some of the replies were just not suitable at all. Some were ridiculous but one or two did stand out. One was from a farmer, thirty miles from where I lived in Edinburgh. He wrote a charming letter, very open and friendly and, to the point. He was about my age, mid forties, well-built and single. I used to work on a farm years ago so this guy, who called himself Malcolm, immediately appealed to me. He had given his telephone number in the letter and closed it by saying he hoped to hear from me.
I plucked up the courage to call him. Twice I tried and there was no answer. The following day, I tried again and he answered. I hesitated, wondering what to say. Finally, I just came out with it, 'I'm the guy from the lonely hearts,' I explained. He was very pleasant on the phone, in fact we chatted for ages. I explained that I had a very strong desire to be with a man and had to do something about it, hence my advert. He sounded great, he understood and agreed to meet the following day at his farm.
