I Have Always Been Gay

I have always been Gay, the beginning.

My first experience was long ago and amounted to some innocent play between friends. The scene never developed into anything but the feelings that arose within me stayed with me my whole life. I pushed my desires away when I met my ex wife. Regular available sex tends to help with that, so it was many years later that those old feelings of desire started rising once again. The first signs showed up when I came into possession of some porno magazines. It didn't seem much at the time, but I found that when I looked at it, the hard cocks fascinated me more than the naked pussy.

The marriage was winding down and so had the sex, so masturbation had become a regular thing. I would get out the porno mag and find a quite place to jerk off. More and more I found myself getting excited by looking at the cocks of the men in the photos. I would fantasize about holding and stroking those cocks and would find myself cumming very quickly. I started checking out the local adult stores and finally worked up enough guts to buy a gay magazine. Things began escalating after that.

The marriage really went south when I stopped having sex with the ex. That didn't happen right away, but did happen quickly after one unplanned encounter. I traveled for work a lot and in those travel had many opportunities to use public restrooms. During one trip, the opportunity became much more than a quick whiz. I had stopped at a roadside rest area to relieve myself. When I entered the john, it didn't appear anyone else was there. The urinals were a mess so I checked the stalls and found one I could tolerate. I entered the stall and for no good reason I can think of, decided I need to sit to do my business.

As I dropped my pants and sat down, I saw what I had first missed when checking the stalls, a small hole in the side wall. I knew what it was and what it was used for I just had never seen one close up. From my vantage point I could clearly see into the adjacent stall. I must have zoned out for a minute because the next thing I remember, I heard the stall door next to me open and someone stepping in. I quickly sat up, careful not to make any noise and holed like hell, the guy hadn't seen me looking through the hole. As I sat there I soon heard the man pissing. AN image flashed through my mind and I could almost see the guy standing there dick in hand.

Without realizing it, I leaned down and looked through the hole. Just as I had imagined, I saw the man holding his cock as he pissed. The sight was mesmerizing. I couldn't take my eyes off his cock. The man's stream began to lessen and in just a few seconds, I saw him shake his cock a bit and zip up. As he straightened up, I lean back and heard him leave the stall. A few seconds later I heard the water running in the sink then the distinct sound of the paper towel dispenser being used. I waited another few minutes before I dared to leave, then noticed that my cock was rock hard. I forced it down and pulled up my pants.

I took a second to listen one more time before exiting the stall. As I turned toward the door, I was startled to see a man standing next to the door. Even more surprising was that he had a half erect cock hanging out of his pants. I guess the shock showed, because I heard him say out loud, "I figured you'd like a closer look." My mouth dropped open and before I could even think of anything to respond, he continued, "I saw you looking at me through the glory hole and from tent in your pants you like what you see." As he finished, I realized I was again rock hard and my dick was pushing out the front of my pants, I did indeed have a tent working there.

The man walked over to stand in front of me and by the time he arrived, his own cock was rock hard. "Want a closer look?" he asked, "As you can see I'm into it Go ahead touch it." My body was on autopilot, my hand reached out and grasped his hard member. The feel of another man's cock in my hand was amazing. I had never been so turned on in my life. "Feels good doesn't it?" I heard him ask as I stared at his cock. "Go ahead take a closer look, I locked the door so we won't be disturbed." I had never sucked a cock but I knew that was what this guy wanted and I didn't have the metal strength to resist the direction. I dropped to my knees, opened my mouth and slid my lips over his hard shaft.

The sensations I felt were strange. Here was something hard and firm, yet soft and warm at the same time. I had never sucked cock before, but I knew what I liked and did my best to immolate what wife did to me. My gag reflex kicked in a couple of times, which wasn't a big deal for me, but then again I had never had something this large or big around probing the back of my throat. After several minutes, I felt his hand on my head, not holding me as much as steadying himself as I struggled. After a few more minutes, he began moaning and I felt the gentle thrust of his hips pushing his cock a little further into my mouth.

I increased my rhythm and he kept time, but as he approached orgasm, his thrusting became quicker and more intense. I felt him tense, then suddenly found my mouth flooded with something hot. Spurts of hot cum shot into the back of my mouth and began running down my throat. The taste surprised me. I had experimented with my own cum once or twice and found it not unpleasant but nothing I really cared for. This however was different, it was just better somehow, not as salty, sweeter maybe, but it was something I found pleasing. Abruptly, the cock withdrew and I looked up at the man who was once a again smiling back at me. "No time for more, hope you got what you were after," then he slipped his cock back into his pants, zipped up, and head out the door.

I was left stunned, knelling on the men's room floor with my mouth still full of cum. I rolled it around in my mouth for a few moments, savoring the taste and feel of it. What surprised me most was the raging hard on between my legs. My cock was harder than it had ever been and there was a hunger inside me. A desire for more and I knew I was going to do this again, soon. I took notice of my condition and my position, quickly rising, trying desperately to calm my own cock down enough to exit the restroom and get back to my car.

Once back in my car, I leaned my head back against the headrest and tried to understand what had just happened. I had just sucked my first cock and for some reason, it had been good. I had liked it and enjoyed the feel of that hard dick pumping in and out of my mouth. My hardening cock confirmed just how exciting it had been. I wanted to jerk off right there in the parking lot but knew that wouldn't be the best option. I still had most of the day ahead of me and a good bit of driving before I reached my next stop for the night, I would just have to wait. One problem, if you could consider it a problem, with driving long distance alone, is that you have ample time to think and for the next 100 miles or so, my thoughts never left that incredible cock.

The remainder of my trip was uneventful, except for the hours I spent in my hotel room masturbating while fantasizing about my restroom experience. My return home for the weekend provided yet one more challenge to this new experience. My relationship with my wife continued to deteriorate. Having no options for sexual release is a powerful motivator and my relationship with my wife wasn't going to provide any relief at least for the foreseeable future.

Like most men, being sexually frustrated just isn't an option and since my experience on the road, new opportunities lay in my future. I worked many miles from my home and the trip to and from work opened up new avenues for sexual release. Work was on the opposite side of town from home and the drive allowed me to pass by many theaters and adult book stores. I had not discovered the physical opportunities adult book stores offered because I was completely unaware of them, but I did know that I could purchase porn at the establishments and that was just exactly what I did.

I made the trip to and from work many times before working up the courage to actually stop and check one out. The day I finally did further re-enforced my desires for men. There wasn't anything special about the store I chose. Like every other store, it offered a variety of toys, lotions, lubes, and sex paraphernalia, along with a wide selection of pornographic magazines. As soon as I entered, I was attracted to the toy section and the wide range penis shaped toys. Not wanting to appear to be too obvious, I kept moving around the store until I hit the magazine section.

I had seen some porno mags over the years, but this was a literal candy store for the porno shopper. Ever type of sexual experience was represented, from nudie magazines to hardcore sex acts. The variety was limitless. One section stood slightly apart from the main section and the first thing I saw as I drew closer was a cover displaying a nude man with a large cock. I felt my cock respond immediately, stiffening in my pants. I knew my need for release would become more difficult the longer I stayed here so quickly glanced over the selections and after picking out several magazines, gathered my treasures and headed to the check out.

I had a brief moment of panic as I approached the cashier. She was a not un attractive young woman and she had to know what I was buying gay magazines for, but my sexual excitement was more than enough incentive to soldier on. She rang up my purchases and I paid her in cash, without even a glance up. My mags now in a bag I headed out to my car where I paused to take a quick peak before heading home. Each magazine was wrapped in plastic and it took a moment to unwrap the one on top to see what lay beyond the cover photo. The page I opened to rewarded me with the image of one man giving another a blow job. Knowing I could not linger in the parking lot, I quickly closed the bag and headed home.

Getting my purchases in the house was no issue, but finding someplace my wife would not find them turned out to be a challenge. I final found the perfect place and whenever the opportunity presented itself would take out my secrets and spend hours jerking off. This went on for some months before the next event in my life led me further down the path of gay sex.