The farewell party was fun and long. Matt, of course had a few drinks, maybe one or two too many, but not enough to do any serious harm. Nevertheless, I wasn't about to let him drive home on his last day of work. Since the party was up in his neck of the woods, a good 30 minutes from the office and almost full hour from my house, I figured I might just crash on his couch for the night and he could drive me back to my car in the morning. He was agreeable to this. After loading up the car with his going away gifts, we were soon on our way to his place. Though his employment with the company ended that Friday, he wasn't moving away for a few more days and the start of is new job was a over a week away. Suffice it to say, it didn't matter that we had stayed out late drinking, neither of us had any plans or any where to be the next morning.
On the drive to his apartment we talked about the new job, people he would miss the most, as well as other things. It was no secret that Matt was gay, very openly in fact, so it came as no surprise when the conversation shifted to guys and sex. I of course was not offended by such talk and I listened and smiled when he would reveal the things he has done with a fellow or two. Though he was a bit on the effeminate side, it was not that annoying flamboyance of one broadcasting his lifestyle and worse, one that sought constant attention. Nor was he the type to force it down your throat either. No, in fact he was for the most part, very easy going and quiet. I have no doubt that because of his gentleness and sensitivity that he would probably play the more feminine role in a relationship.
The alcohol decreased his inhibitions as it often does to people who consume it, so when he touched upon the subject of oral sex I suddenly found myself curiously interested in the topic and I listened intently as the conversation deepened. Without realizing it, I actually engaged him on the subject, asking him question after question like how it is done or how it feels to do it, if he's ever had it done to him, if he's ever had a man cum in his mouth, etc... . I believe he actually found it amusing, my continued questions, but his next response caught me completely off guard.
"Have you ever thought about doing it?" He asked.
"Doing what?" I answered, knowing full well he knew that I knew what he was talking about. I of course just laughed and rolled my eyes giving no reply.
"C'mon, you know ... giving a guy a blow job?"
No answer.
"Well?" He repeated.
"You know I like girls, Matt" I finally replied.
"So. I like girls too - I also like sucking cock - what's the problem?" He laughed.
"I like having mine sucked - but by a woman" I firmly, but humorously retorted.
"A blow job is a blow job. If you were to close your eyes, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference." He said
"Perhaps, perhaps not." I said as the discomfort started setting in.
Not discomfort caused by any offense to his conversation, but for the fact that my mind was awash with imagery while Matt gave up the description of his experiences and even more so, because I became aware of the consequences of those thoughts, namely a certain pleasurable, albeit embarrassing reaction that began to manifest in my pants. Matt continued to torture me with his interrogation.
"What seems to be the problem? You're thinking about it, aren't you? C'mon ... admit it. You are!"
"You want to know what it's like don't you?" He continued.
"Would you like to suck or be sucked?" he asked.
"You're drunk!" I said.
"Of course I am - I'm also horny. What about you?"
"Can we please change the subject?" I laughingly asked.
"You want to. I can see it. You've suddenly gone quiet, but you're not telling me to shove off either - you want to!" He smiled.
"What I want is to do is hit the sack, I'm tired."
Just then we arrived at his apartment. It was late and quiet so I wasn't worried about anyone seeing me enter with him. The thought of course entered my mind of other guys he had brought to his place for who knows what, but I didn't seem to care at that point what anyone would think if they did in fact see me. All I wanted to do was to go to sleep, but that didn't seem to relieve the tightness in my underwear or the embarrassing bulge that was no doubt visible. I of course did everything I could to conceal it, but because I had a drink or two at the bar, my inhibitions were relaxed for the moment as well - I was not sure if he had noticed or not, but thankfully he said nothing as we walked to his door.
All the time we worked together, I never once imagined engaging with Matt in any flirtatious banter despite the fact he would often display it to me and others in the office. And I was never offended when he would make suggestive comments to me in a friendly attempt to get me to put his jobs ahead of the other account executives work. But now we were in his apartment, alone together, with me, slightly and uncharacteristically aroused. For a moment, I began to wonder if we would regress back to the conversation in the car. His apartment was spacious and clean and I immediately felt very comfortable as I sat down on the couch.
"Do you mind if I take off my shoes"? I asked.
"Not at all, make yourself at home. You can take your pants off too if you like." He smiled
"would you like that?" I asked surprisingly.
Matt immediately turned around surprised as well and smiling, gauging whether or not I was just teasing him or if I was serious. I'm not sure what vibe I was giving off as I wasn't quite sure what I was thinking myself. Just then that cautious, nervous feeling came over me - that feeling of wanting to do something naughty but being too afraid to act and then my thoughts turned inward.
"Whoa - what the hell am I doing?" I asked myself.
"This is Matt for crying out loud ... he's gay, you're not." I tried to reassure myself.
"So why am I suddenly having these crazy thoughts, and why am I getting turned on?"
Matt returned to his task of the moment which was to go into his room and change into something more comfortable - namely a t-shirt and his bikini briefs. I on the other hand, tried to push those earlier thoughts out of my head and relax the sexual tension that was building within me as Matt emerged from is bedroom with a pair of pillows.
"PINK BIKINIS?" "REALLY?" I laughed.
"And satiny smooth as well I can see!" I continued.
"Are you staring at my bulge mister?" he jokingly asked.
"OF COURSE NOT!"
"It sure looked like it to me for a minute."
He was correct, I did indeed glance at his package for a brief moment as he stopped in front of me. Putting the pillows down on the couch he continued to stand there, then unexpectedly he spun around like a princess, showing off his underwear, perhaps thinking I would enjoy it, he then asked;
"What do you think? Do you like them?"
"Suuuuure." I laughed.
"They're very comfortable, and they hold me in just right." he said as he again spun around again to face me.
Suddenly, in a very playful and flirtatious move, Matt took hold of the slim waist strap of the underwear and jiggled the contents therein not unlike a male stripper would to a group of horny women. "Woo hoo" he said just before he sat down next to me and laughed. We continued to laugh and joke around for several minutes in a sexual manner, I suppose he might have been testing my reactions to this behavior, for what reason I don't know, but I was feeling "giddy" for lack of a better word as the conversation became more serious.
"Thanks" he said.
"For what" I asked.
"I know you're straight and I have enjoyed working with you. You've never made me feel uncomfortable in any way. I know I made overtures to you once or twice, not expecting you to reciprocate of course, but you never reacted negatively toward me either and I appreciate that." He said.
We were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch as he continued and in a show sincerity, he reassuringly placed his hand on my arm and stroked it once or twice. The sensation was, at the very least, pleasurable and I could swear I could sense a growing attraction emanating from him. I was not disturbed in the least, in fact, a strange sense of curiosity began to emerge in me as well. So much so that on some as of yet unrecognized level, I found myself hoping the conversation would continue to see where it might ultimately lead.
I looked at him and smiled as our eyes made contact and held for a moment suggesting that thoughts of an attractive nature were spiraling in our minds. Thoughts I was unaccustomed to, but finding suddenly difficult to push away. I became aware that though I was quite confused, I was nevertheless, outwardly exhibiting signs that signaled to Matt that I might pursue and even welcome the idea of a moment of, for lack of a better word ... physical contact.
"I like to think I have an open mind" I said. "Besides, I never felt threatened by you in any way either."
"Not even when we were in the car, on the way here?" he laughed.
I hesitated in my response, because to say no would be a lie. A lie in the sense that though I didn't feel "threatened" per say, but I did in fact feel "something". And that something was still lingering and growing.
"Well" he softly repeated and smiled.
"No, of course not ... I didn't feel ... threatened." I said ambiguously.
"Uh Oh ,,, what does that mean?" he smiled and perked up.
"Nothing!" I quickly answered and turned away.
I could see him out of the corner of my eye leaning foward with a smile trying to see my red face and again gauge my meaning.
"I am definitely picking something up!" he said.
"You are quite mistaken young man." I weakly retorted smiling, turning my face back around, looking down in an obvious attempt to avoid eye any further contact. I was again beginning to feel that nervous, but curious sensation and without a doubt I was becoming even more flustered and aroused.
"What the hell is happening to me - what am I doing - am I actually flirting with him?" These thoughts raced through my mind as my heartbeat began to accelerate and with it my breathing.
"What's the matter?" He softly whispered.
"Am I making you uncomfortable?"
I could distinctly hear a bit of genuine concern and also guilt as the question trailed off. It seemed to me that he felt that he was beginning to cross some imaginary line and was worried I would now in fact become hostile toward him.
"No ... not at all." I said in a sympathetic and reassuring tone.
"You are not making me feel uncomfortable - don't think like that" I smiled.
Despite my increased breathing, my tone was calm and gentle - though I hadn't noticed, I was speaking to him exactly as I would speak to a girl in the same situation. A tone that indicated that I was comfortable with the situation and didn't mind the fact that he was sitting so close or even touching me.
"This is what I was talking about before." He said.
