I became a cock sucking fag. Pt 14.
It was scary, emotional, concerning, and unrealistic for me to believe I was turning gay. But it was something I came to accept. I know that's hard for some people to grasp. How do you turn gay? Either you are or aren't, right? Well, for me, it was all the desires, all the passions, and all the wants that were finally coming true. I had crossed the line. I was developing an ongoing situation with a man. It was like a drug addiction; I couldn't get enough. I couldn't stop thinking about John. I couldn't get my mind off of his dick. When I couldn't get his dick, I spent hours online and, on my phone, watching dick-sucking hypnosis videos, feminization videos, big swinging dicks videos, and men masturbating. I spent countless hours at night alone in my bed, fantasizing about sexy hard dicks as I stoked myself off, or fingered myself until I was raw. And now that I had a male lover and was starting to suck dick regularly, it became more enlightening, arousing, and desirable.
I looked forward to our time together. I always had that anticipation, that when we did get time alone, I'd get to suck him off. I'd get that hard dick I was looking for and in turn, I would get mine sucked. Our secret meetings, our late-night parking lot hook-ups, and our Sunday morning quickies, were arousing and kept things stimulating. Whatever time we had alone over that first few weeks, my mouth was full of his hard dick and his was full of mine. I wasn't in love with him or wanted to leave Paul, I liked exactly where we were.
It gave me a chance to understand where I was in life. What I wanted, what I looked forward to. And to be brutally honest, our time together gave me the chance to further my lust for suck dick. Which is what I wanted. Moreover, during our dating situation, it became customary for John and I to send naked pictures, little videos, and dirty texts to each other. Just about every morning I'd wake up to a dick pic from him, and at night I'd send him one back. The more dick pics he sent, the more into him I became.
I never had to worry about not getting it, perhaps like I had with some females, who were never into oral sex, or just did it on occasion. With the two of us, there was an absolute guarantee of getting a blow job and I liked the way things were going. Yet, as much as we were into each other and were trying to get together when we could, we kept our secret. We never pushed the envelope for more time, or to take it to the next level. But there was something I was desiring more than anything. And that was his dick inside of me.
It was about six weeks into our relationship when I wanted to take that next step. By this point, I had probably sucked his dick a dozen times, and he, in turn, sucked mine just as much. But neither of us had tried moving towards anal sex. I wasn't sure if he was the man of his relationship or the woman where Paul was fucking him. But either way, I needed a dick in me. My time with Claire, my wants and needs, overpowered me, and my toys weren't cutting it anymore. I needed the real thing. I needed to know.
One night John sent me a rather racy picture when he was in the shower. His cock was all soaped up, completely shaven with the wording, "All squeaky clean for you." It was more than enlightening seeing his sexy dick and low-hanging balls covered in wet soapy water. I licked my lips and wished I was in the shower washing it for him, only to suck him dry after we were done.
My response was; "I need that in me. Deep inside my ass."
I got a smiley face reply that said, "I can take care of that for you."
My heart leaped because I believed he would have no problem fucking me and taking this to the next level.
That picture and that response sent feelings inside of me that I had not had. I was on the verge of taking my passions and desires to the next level. I was ready. I needed it. I wanted to know. I surely had crossed some line in life and I became more interested in men and dick, more than I could have ever imagined. And now, knowing "He could take care of that for me," was the push I needed to full-on homosexuality.
We texted back and forth over the next week trying to plan something out. I wanted this to be special. I know that sounds like I'm an 18-year-old girl who was making her boyfriend wait until the moment was perfect before engaging in sexual congress. But I wanted it to be heartfelt. I didn't just want him coming over and ramming it in me. I wanted the romance. I wanted the deep feelings; I wanted it to be something I would remember forever. I wanted to be seduced. I felt like he needed to show me this was more than just sex, that I was special. Especially if I changed sides for good and never went back to women. Whether my situation continued with him or laid elsewhere, I wanted to know it was what I needed in my life and where I was heading.
John and I planned a special dinner for the following Saturday night. He picked me up and drove us to a steak house on the other end of town. We felt it was far enough away from our homes and the neighborhoods we both lived in. The purpose of it was to sit and have a romantic dinner together. To be somewhere together, where we would show up as a couple and not just sneak around. We both felt that heading to this area, we wouldn't run into anyone we knew. No one from the bowling league would be there. It was a perfect chance for us to have an actual date and spend time together before we made love and deepen our situation.
It went off without a hitch. After he picked me up, we drove hand-in-hand to the restaurant. We walked in together. We were seated, and in the eyes of others, we probably just looked like two buddies hanging out for dinner or grabbing a bite after a round of golf. But we knew we were there as a couple. As two men who were sexually attracted to one another, and before the night was out, two men who would be engaged sexually in the dark of my bedroom, absolutely ravaging each other's dicks. That in itself, is what made it special for me. That feeling of being out with someone I was longing for. To have us together for dinner, dressed up more than average, to be sitting, talking, and just enjoying each other's company was exactly what I needed.
As our time in the restaurant ended and we started to make our way home, I felt different. I felt I had changed. I couldn't explain the change or why I felt it. I just believed things would be completely different for me from here on out. I don't know if John realized I had planned on letting him penetrate me, or if he just thought it would be another night of oral sex. But in my mind, I kept thinking if he fucks me as hard and as deep as Claire did with her pink dick, then there is no doubt, that I will want this forever. And maybe that was the change and the feelings I was having. That if all went well and he showed me how to truly be a gay man in a gay relationship and take anal like I'm supposed to, then maybe it was where I needed to be.
As he drove us back to my place, the cooler Los Angeles summer light winds flowed through John's car. There was something in the air, unlike anything I had felt before. I was anxious and nervous, but I had trust in him. I felt safe with him and I wasn't worried about some fuck and run moment. Or that he was some player out in the world sleeping around. I wasn't concerned about disease or what I'd call a "dirty dick." I knew he had been with Paul for decades and I knew he had taken his risks to be with me. Perhaps for him, this was a chance to have a sex life again. More importantly maybe to have fun, to experience life, to feel excited and appreciated. And tonight, I was planning on letting him fuck me and hopefully open even more doors for both of us.
After we arrived at my place, got in, and settled on the couch, sipping beer, I could see the intensity in Johns's eyes. His lust for me was brewing as deeply as mine was for him. We kissed slowly and passionately, and as much as I wanted to pull his dick out and suck him off right there, I wanted this to be as romantic and sensual as possible. I guided John by the hand assisting him from the couch and walked him to my room. I turned on the small ambient light on top of my dresser turning my attention back to him. We stood pressed against one another deeply embedded in our kissing when I started unbuttoning his shirt.
John slipped it off when I had all the buttons open, dropping it to the floor. I pulled the t-shirt over his head as we broke from our kiss for a moment and just looked at one another. My hands glided over his bare chest, feeling his soft smooth skin. John pulled my shirt over my head and pulled our warm bodies back together as we kissed deeply again.
Our hands wandered each other's bodies and he must have cupped my ass half a dozen times, squeezing both of my ass cheeks firmly, which was the first time he had ever done that. I felt alive. I felt enlightened and I felt like I was being seduced the way a man should be.
I lowered myself away from John's kisses and knelt before him. I unsecured the belt buckle, unbuttoned his pants, and pulled the zipper down. I ran my hand inside of the pants open flap, gliding my hand across his underwear, feeling the outline of his dick. I pulled at the sides of his pants, sliding down his legs, assisting him in kicking out of them. As I came back upright, I rubbed over his underwear and could see the bulge in his pants. His dick was hard, sticking outward as if he was pitching a tent inside his undies. I slid his underwear down and off of his legs watching his hard dick pop free. I held it in my hand, just feeling his boner in my palm. I was amazed at how sexy and erotic it was being down on my knees holding a dick, all while I had a big firm hard-on deep in my pants.
I leaned my head inwards and slid John's dick into my mouth. I heard him groan lightly as it slid to the back of my throat. I slid back and forth across it, taking it all the way in, and then all the way out. I slid it back and forth slowly, taking in every moment of giving him head. My mouth watered, my senses came alive, and my mind was going 100 miles an hour as I sucked his hard dick.
At that moment, I felt sensual, I felt aroused, I felt very feminine, and I kept thinking to myself if only some of the girls I fucked could see me now. If only Claire was here watching me do it for real. I had been in this position countless times with her, and as much as I sucked her pink dick, listening to her moan out, "pretending" her dick was being pleasured, nothing compared to hearing John lightly huff and puff as I sucked his dick.
I lifted from my knees and guided John onto the center of my bed. As he adjusted himself into position, I unbuttoned, unzipped, and dropped my pants. Sliding my underwear off seconds later. I leaned over and started to climb onto the bed and as I did, I started lightly kissing my way up his legs, bouncing back and forth from side to side as I slowly made my way up to his dick. I slid his hard dick back into my mouth, but only for a few seconds as I continued kissing his body upwards to his face.
As I got to his face, I kissed his chin, his cheeks, and eventually his lips, but I kept moving upwards, until my dick was right at his face, as I hovered over his body. John put my hard dick in his mouth and I leaned forwards and started thrusting myself in and out of his mouth. I was rock hard, reeling in pleasure and I could feel my body wanting to be filled with hard dick. As John sucked me, I leaned over to my nightstand and pulled out the bottle of lube from inside my drawer. I squirted a bit on my index and middle fingers and reached behind me, teasing and lubricating my ass as John continued sucking my dick.
As he pleasured me, I slid a finger inside myself pumping a few times and letting it slide out, only to swirl my fingers around my opening, preparing myself even more. When I was ready after letting him get a good long suck on my dick, I edged down off of John. I came back down to where I was sitting on top of his legs. I popped open the lube bottle and squirted a good handful on my palm and reached out to grab Johns's hard cock. I slowly and tightly stroked his dick up and down getting him all lubed up and extremely hard before I edged myself up on top of him.
