I Am so Vain

It's been a long journey getting from where I was to where I am now and if I'm going to tell it then I suppose I ought to start at the beginning. When I first met Jeff I was a walking, talking cliche. For the most part I'm straight. I'm attracted to women, I only ever want to date women, after I have sex with a woman I usually want to stay in bed with her. But often when I'm horny I fantasize about being a slut for cock. At the beginning this started out with fantasies about sucking cock. It wasn't just that it looked like fun. Something about the convenience of it really got me. It just seemed so simple to suck a cock. It seemed just as simple and necessary as going to the grocery store or getting a cup of coffee. I need food for sustenance, and coffee for enjoyment and energy. I felt a need to suck cock for all of those same reasons.

And it didn't seem so unreasonable either. I felt like I had the right to suck cock the same way that I feel like I have the right to eat ice cream if I want. Except while ice cream may be bad for me, I thought that sucking cock might be very healthy for me. And I'm even a bit of a health nut so I was intrigued by swallowing healthy cum on a regular basis. I do understand, however, that finding a cock to suck isn't quite as simple or as easy as grabbing a pint of ice cream out of the freezer at my local grocery store.

But how nice would it be for all of us if it was. Even for men that aren't destined to become cocksuckers, I think for most of us it's still at least worth a try to see how you like it. And if there was a safe and anonymous environment to experiment with it, I think a lot of us would get a lot out of it. And as a man I understand the drive to have my cock worshipped by a willing mouth and the need to cum. Personally, I need to cum at least once or twice per day and if there was a place I could go to have my cum sucked out I would deeply appreciate it. And this is in no way an effort to degrade anyone or make anyone specific feel used, I just need to cum.

And before I ever came to terms with a similar but complimentary drive and need to suck cock, I honestly thought that having my own cock sucked wasn't something that I or other men should just get to enjoy unless someone that cares about us wants to do it. But now that I've come to terms with my own need to suck cock, I don't like jerking off anymore. It just seems like such a waste. A cocksucker would love to suck this out for me and swallow my jizz and in a sense it seems selfish not to find that cocksucker and let him suck my cum out. And I think the same way about other men who masturbate. They ought to find a cocksucker like me to casually suck their cum out.

And I think that's the critical distinction in my mind, that blowjobs ought to be a casual gesture. If two guy friends are hanging out and one of them is horny, how come he can't just ask if the other is in the mood to suck his cock. And if he's not, that's totally cool, and if he is, that's totally cool too. I don't see why it shouldn't be in the same repertoire of questions as "hey do you want to grab a drink?" or "hey do you want to watch a movie?" or "hey do you want to go out and hit on chicks?" What if you could just say, "Yea that sounds like fun but do you mind if we suck each other off first?" I think it's totally reasonable and it's unfortunate that we're not their yet as a society.

What if there was absolutely no stigma adhered to homosexual tendencies and it was understood that most guys would happily suck a cock at least when they're horny, and even more guys would accept a blowjob especially when they're horny? Wouldn't that be nice? And would it be so bad if guys were blowing each other all the time. I don't think so. Maybe as a society we'd be a lot calmer and more level headed. I think it'd do a lot for our heterosexual romantic relationships too. If guys could get blown more regularly then it would take sex off the table and couples would actually have to be good to one another. Anyway, that's my rant, now back to my actual story.

I talked with Jeff online for about a month before I ever agreed to go over to his apartment. When I knocked on his door, my heart was pounding. He answered, I nervously said hello. He was very nice, he invited me in. We hung out for a little while as if we were just there to have a drink together. It was nice. Then he said, "By the way, we totally don't have to do anything if you don't want to, we can just hang out." I thanked him for being straightforward and making me feel comfortable. I did appreciate it, but also it just made me want to suck his cock even more.

The funny thing was, I didn't want to suck his cock unless he deserved it. As a man, I understand that a blowjob is an incredible gift. It feels amazing and afterwards there's just such a sense of relief. And during, even separate from the amazing feeling, it's just so nice to have someone sucking your cock for you. I understand how great and powerful all of this is and the fact that I can give this to someone else easily and enjoyably and conveniently gives me an incredible sense of pride. That being said, I either want to give this gift completely anonymously, or if I do meet the person, then I really want them to both want it and deserve it. And if they do want it and deserve it then I'm happy to keep doing it too.

So as I got to know Jeff, I couldn't help but appreciate his normal guy-ness. Jeff was just a gay man. He was respectful and smart and witty and a good communicator. So eventually I told him that I was nervous but that I felt ready. At this point he seemed nervous too because I think he'd actually settled on the idea that he wasn't going to get a blowjob. But he consented and then he pulled his pants down and the next thing I knew I had cock in my mouth. And it was warm and hard and soft and smooth and electric. It was really great. There's nothing quite like wanting to suck someone's cock for them and then getting to do it. It feels so purposeful to give a blowjob. And especially as a guy getting to give a blowjob is really incredible.

So I settled into a rhythm after a while and I found that using my mouth as gently as I could but also moving my mouth quickly and then lightly pulling on his dick with each stroke was what seemed to work. And then he came in my mouth. And I lost a little bit down his shaft but I swallowed most of it.

And then afterwards he was so grateful. He kept saying how he couldn't believe what a handsome straight-ish man came to his house and gave him such a fantastic blowjob and how he didn't think that was ever possible. But I told him to believe it because I enjoyed sucking his cock and that I was glad that he thought I was attractive and that it made it better for him. He told me I was the most attractive guy who'd ever blown him and it made me feel really good.

So I kept meeting up with Jeff. And we were friends too. We hung out and watched movies and had real conversations. And I would also suck his cock. If we met up during the day I would usually just blow him. Which I liked, I appreciated that he could depend on me for quick relief. But if we met up later we'd usually make an evening of it and I'd usually suck him off 2 or 3 times. And we did this 3 to 7 times a week. So I was sucking his cock and swallowing his cum a lot. And I loved it and I assumed he did too because first of all he was getting his cock sucked all the time and second, he just seemed to be so attracted to me. He was always telling me how pretty or handsome he thought I was and he would compliment me on my lips or my physique constantly. And it made me feel good.

In particular, I appreciated that he appreciated my body because I work really hard on it and I am very muscular and lean. I enjoyed that he enjoyed it and it turned me on to feel like the blowjob that I was giving him was a blowjob that he dreamed about before he met me and now he gets to have it and I get to give it to him. I really felt like such a quality cocksucker.

And this was our routine, I was well fed and he was well taken care of. It was only after a little while that he turned the focus on me. It hadn't even quite occurred to me though because I felt like I was already getting so much out of our arrangement. And in general, my own sexual release was something that I didn't really depend on him for. But every now and then when we watched a movie, I would kneel in front of where he sat on the couch and suck his cum out and then I would sit in between his legs afterwards facing the tv, and he would give me a shoulder rub.

Soon he was asking me to sit that way so he could give me a shoulder rub. Next I was laying on the couch and he would sit on my butt and give me a back rub. Honestly, I already knew where this was going to go but I didn't know if I was ever going to let myself go all the way through with it. But it just happened so little at a time. And everything felt so good. Jeff really was a gifted masseuse. And he was so nice about it.

Soon after it was a shirtless affair with massage oil and a towel down. Then it started to include my legs, which I kept smooth. Then it was full body, including my butt. And Jeff didn't move any further than that for what seemed like an eternity. After about a week he would rub my entire glute muscle in a way that pulled my butt cheeks apart. Then for an entire week he would lightly graze the outside of my butt hole. Then for an entire week he would work his fingers from between where my legs meet my balls, up my perineum and up over my butt hole to my lower back. He kept doing that same movement more and more slowly and began to linger on my butt hole.

And then one day he started doing this amazing technique where he would press his hand between my butt cheeks, which already feels amazing, and hold his thumb right at my butt hole and the rest of his hand above it. His other hand split his fingers so two went to each side of my ball sack and the rest of his hand pressed against my perineum and his other thumb went up to about where my butt hole was too. And he would switch off with each thumb making light circles around my butt hole.

He loved doing this. He kept telling me how much it turned him on how muscular my ass was and how he liked how I kept that whole area smooth and even started telling me how cute my butt hole was. Then he started pressing on the area around my butt hole more. Then he would start pressing his thumb against my actual sphincter muscle. And I was so relaxed that it yielded almost immediately. It was a "swish" as he called it. One day he asked if he could lick my ass and I told him that he didn't even need to ask. And he started fingering me more and more and eventually light prostate massage was a regular part of our routine. I would suck him off 2 or 3 times a visit probably 5 time a week and he would give me a full body massage and a prostate massage. Life was very good. Even though the full body part of the massage was starting to get more brief but I was okay with that too, the prostate massage was what I really wanted.

One day he finally asked if he could fit the tip of his cock in my ass. I asked him if he thought it would fit, to which he responded, definitely yes without question. And I laughed and asked him if he just wanted to fuck me then. He asked me if I was ready to be fucked up the ass. His question made me feel flushed and I told him I was ready.

He wanted me to stay totally relaxed so the position we decided on was straddling the large arm of his couch with my head resting on a pillow on the upper part of the couch and my butt right at the edge of the arm. He positioned the head of his cock against my butt hole and held it there and asked if I was ready. I told him I was and he slowly inched forward. I could feel the smooth head of his cock making its way into my butt hole and past my sphincter. I particularly enjoyed feeling the ridge of his cock make its way inside of me. Then he slowly started moving back and forth and slowly kept moving further and further into my ass. Then he was fucking me and soon after that he was fucking me hard. I loved feeling his hips slap against me and make my butt shake.

It really felt incredible, I felt so full and just like my whole body was on fire. I think what I liked best though was how much Jeff enjoyed it, he kept saying how he couldn't believe that he gets to fuck such a hot guy in the ass. And he kept telling me how well I was taking it. And he even told me that my cock may be straight but my mouth and my ass are definitely gay because they're meant to take cock. It turned me on so much. He asked me if he could cum in my ass and I told him of course he could.

So then that became our routine. I would suck his cock and he would give me a massage and fuck me up the ass. And I thought it couldn't get any better. But there were a few times where while he would be fucking me and I would sit up a little bit straighter or arch my back in a different way and I would feel a little electric jolt of pleasure. I told Jeff about it and he said he was probably hitting my prostate. And after that he kept asking me about it more and more. I really enjoyed providing him with a sexy ass to nut in but it became his mission to ram his cock into my prostate while he did it. And then one time he really found it, and I told him, and he rammed it good and hard for longer than I could take it. And Jeff fucked my cum out. And it was the most amazing feeling I've ever felt.

And now here I am. A straight-ish man, with a gay friend whose cock I suck and who makes me feel like a hot slut while he fucks my cum out on a nearly daily basis. All because I am so vain.