His Sweet Boy

Ben paced outside the Harris Teeter he worked at part-time. This was crazy, no, insane. Why had he said yes? Stupid so stupid.

It was a bad idea from the very beginning. Going to the BDSM club, then even talking to Eric in the grocery line instead of pretending not to remember him but no, Ben was a horrible liar. He always got twitchy when he tried, so after the first fifteen years of his life he just gave up trying. Now at 22 he still held to that policy of no lying.

A sleek black car pulled up to the curb and a window rolled down. Ben froze and stared at the car as if it would suddenly turn into a transformer at any second.

"Ben, it's just a car, come on. I won't hurt you." Eric called from the driver's seat.

Yeah right, Eric was huge and had an iron grip to match. All the man had to do was reach out a pinky and Ben would snap like a twig.

No, no it's ok, he was just over exaggerating. It would be ok.

Ben edged forward and Eric popped the door open from the inside.

"Hop in. Anything you want to grab before we go?"

Ben shook his head. "No... unless... are we going anywhere I can't wear my work shirt?"

The boy self consciously gulped as Eric looked him up and down, categorizing the dark skinny jeans that looked identical to last night's (they weren't the ones from last night he just had three pairs that looked the same.) up to the Harris Teeter shirt with the logo right over the pocket.

"You look great, besides we're just going back to the club."

"WE'RE GOING TO YOUR CLUB?!" Ben shouted and instinctively unfastened the seat belt he had just clicked into place and reached for the door handle so he could throw himself out of the car, but they were already moving and Eric had locked the doors.

"Ben please do not shout in my car. I'm right next to you, not across a football field. And refasten your seatbelt so you're safe. To answer your question, yes we are going to my club. I'm the dungeon master, remember? Which means I'm in charge of making sure the play at my club stays safe. We're going straight up to the empty VIP room where we can talk while I keep an eye on everything."

Grabbing his seat belt, Ben grudgingly refastened it more because it was a good idea then because Eric told him to.

"How can you talk to me and keep an eye on all those people properly?"

"I have monitors that walk the floor and they can do most of the work without me." At this point, Ben tried to interrupt but Eric kept going "but if something big happens they might not be able to handle it without me. It's only three nights of my week so I don't mind."

Ben slumped back in the seat. "Then why did you even ask me out tonight if we couldn't go do something?"

"Because I was afraid you would find a better excuse to turn me down, and I didn't entirely think it through. Got a little over-excited."

"Seriously? How old are you? 10?"

"Add twenty years to that and you will have your answer. Everyone has insecurities, even dom's."

Silence filled the car after that. Ben stared out the window and watched as they passed street after street.

"Why did you have me kneel?" The boy asked suddenly, interrupting the quiet.

Eric gave a shrug. "It felt right at the time. A light punishment that fit a newbie, and the crime."

"But in front of all those people?"

"They've all seen much worse, and half of them didn't bat an eye. I've had this club for the last 6 years, and many of them have been members since I opened. They are used to me disciplining people."

"That doesn't mean I'm used to it!" Ben snapped back his voice rising in volume.

"You could have said red at any point and left the building with no repercussions."

Ben snapped his mouth shut and blushed a bright red. He had forgotten about that. It had been in the form he had signed before entering the BDSM club. His safe word was red that he could use at any point with anyone no matter what color he was wearing and he would immediately receive "aftercare" and be escorted from the premises safely.

"I forgot," Ben mumbled under his breath.

"Uhuh, that or subconsciously you didn't want to use it."

"What does that mean?" Ben demanded, feeling all of his indignant anger rush back.

"You immediately relaxed when the punishment started. I could feel it, all the tension just left your body, and if it had been longer than five minutes I have no doubt you would have been leaning into my leg."

Ben spluttered, trying to come up with a defense against what Eric had said. It terrified him to know that the dom had read him so easily.

"Ben relax," Eric soothed.

Which just ramped up Ben's anger. "you can't just tell someone to relax and expect them to do it."

"Yes, I can. Why is it so hard for you to admit that you liked it?" Eric asked as he pulled into the club's parking lot and parked.

The boy's anger fled to be replaced by overwhelming anxiety, guilt, and terror.

"Ben?"

Trying to blink the tears out of his eyes, Ben just shook his head.

"Talk to me." Eric's voice was quiet and soothing like a balm to the boy's frayed nerves.

"Why?! Why did that happen. I didn't want it. I don't even want to be here." Ben lashed out at the Dom before he popped the door to the car open and stormed away from the vehicle on trembling legs.

"Hey wait a minute. Ben. Stop." Eric's voice dropped in volume and became more authoritative.

Ben hated that his feet stopped moving and he waited for the dom to approach him, this was what terrified him so much.

When he was around Eric he wasn't in control anymore. The man refused to stay at arm's length like everyone else did. Even Harley didn't know the true Ben. No one did.

Speaking of, Eric stopped in front of Ben and placed his large warm palms, on the smaller man's shoulders.

"Look at me, Ben."

Again that commanding tone that the boy couldn't ignore no matter how much he wanted to. He met those impossibly dark brown eyes with his own electric blue ones.

"It scares you doesn't it?" Eric murmured at last.

Ben sucked in a hiccuping breath.

"The giving up of control, letting someone else take care of you. It terrifies you how good it feels."

The boy couldn't stop the leaking of tears from his eyes or the gasping breaths he tried to suck into his starving lungs.

"I can't take away that fear from you, but I can promise you two things. One, I will protect you, even from yourself. And two, you are not weak for wanting this." Eric said.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I'm a dom and an experienced one at that."

"I can't-I...please Eric what do I-it's so hard to breathe."

"Oh baby, I know." The dom said as he wrapped his arms around the trembling boy.

Ben leaned into the embrace, it was terrifying to allow someone else to hold him up but it felt so good. Maybe it wasn't worth it to fight so hard against something that felt so good.

The boy allowed himself to go boneless and let all of his worries and stress go into that hug. The sudden weightlessness that Ben felt made him feel dizzy.

"That's it, sweetheart, just let it all rest on me, I've got you." Eric murmured into the sub's hair.

The boy sniffed his way through the last set of tears but made no move to pull back from the warm cocoon of Eric's arms.

"Hey babe, not to interrupt this beautiful moment but do you think we can go somewhere more comfortable?" The dom's voice rumbled through Ben's chest making the boy want to purr.

"Yea, ok." He replied not bothering to move.

"Want me to carry you?"

That jerked Ben back to reality, the boy glowered up at Eric's cheeky grin.

"I can walk just fine thank you very much." The boy said before stomping away towards the club.

The dom ran to catch up still grinning.

"You're so hot and cold, Ben."

"I am not."

"See that's exactly what I'm talking about. One minute you're a snuggly little bunny, the next you're a snappy little badger."

"Do not compare me to woodland creatures."

"But they're so cute, just like you."

"I am not cute!"

Ben knew he wasn't intimidating in the least and the mutinous death glare he threw at Eric as the man opened the back door to the club just seemed to prove it. The dom didn't shrink in fear like he was supposed to; he just leaned forward and booped the tip of Ben's nose with a finger.

"See cute as a button, even when you're acting like a hissing kitten."

"Stop comparing me to cute animals! If I'm anything I'm a ferocious tiger."

"...right. Whatever you say...kitten." Eric said as he danced out of reach of Ben's furious swipe in a way that, if the boy had to admit, really did look like a kitten trying to beat up a German Shepard. Just plain ridiculous.

"Come on this way." Eric directed at a still pissed Ben, who glared at the dom's back plotting his revenge while he followed.

They took the same set of stairs up to the VIP room. The space looked oddly empty without all the people in it.

Eric made a beeline for his throne and sat down with that impossible grace that didn't quite fit with his amazing bulk.

"See just like I promised, empty room, and the walls are soundproof so we can talk without worrying about shouting over the music." The dom seemed to have a giddy little smile on his face.

Ben edged his way into the room and approached the one-way mirror.

It was quite the odd experience to look out over a sea of people gyrating to music that he couldn't hear. He purposefully avoided looking at the dungeon side. He didn't want to know what happened over there.

"Do you want to sit down?"

Ben looked over to see Eric gesturing to his lap.

"Really?! No thank you. I thought we were supposed to talk up here, but I see what's really going on, you just want my body." The boy felt a rush of triumphant victory at finally pegging the elusive motives behind Eric's actions.

"I won't deny I've fantasized about having you in my arms and that is what drew me to you at first but it's more than that. You fascinate me with your constantly shifting emotions. I want to get to know the real Ben, the one I keep catching glimpses of, underneath all that Vibrato and posturing."

"Who said I was posturing. This is me. The real me, take it, or leave it." Ben stated but he couldn't stop his body from fidgeting at the lie.

"Well, we both know that's not true. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so scared to trust me."

"You can't just demand trust after less than 24 hours of knowing someone."

"You're right I can't, but I don't think that the usual response is irrational anger."

"Oh-you... just fuck you ok. Fuck you!"

"See like that. I say something that we both know is true and you go into the cutest little hissy fit."

"For god's sake will you stop referring to me as cute."

"What bothers you so much about it?" Eric queried as he got up from his throne and made his way over to Ben with deliberate steps.

"I-I'm a man and men are not cute."

"You seem to have a warped sense of masculinity."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ben questioned, suddenly suspicious as he was backed into the one-way mirror by Eric's advancing steps.

"Well just because you are cute, or someone calls you cute, doesn't make you any less of a 'man'. It just means you're cute. I could be cute."

Ben let out a hysterical laugh at that last statement. "Yeah right. You, cute? That'll be the day."

"I can pull it off if I really want to."

"You're too big and quintessentially male to be cute."

"There you go with that warped sense of masculinity. Here I'll even prove it to you. I'll be cute."

Eric knelt at Ben's feet, tucked his hands under his chin, and looked up at the flabbergasted boy through fluttering lashes.

Ben burst into laughter and had to place a hand against the one-way mirror behind him to stable himself. It was the most ridiculous thing to see a giant, 200lb plus man act like an innocent maiden from a fairytale. And damn it all if Eric didn't look...kinda cute.

"Ok ok, fine you win." Ben gasped out, trying to catch his breath. "You can pull off cute."

Eric got gracefully to his feet. And placed his palms against the one-way mirror on either side of Ben.

"So why does it bother you so much to be called cute. And don't give me a bull shit answer Ben. I want to know the truth this time, from the real Ben."

The boy gulped but allowed himself to open up a crack to this giant.

"I've always been small, and shy. I would get teased and called a sissy in high school. Nothing too bad, you learn to ignore mean kids and shrug it off, but it always hurt, just a little bit. My dad...he's kinda like you, though not as big. He's a man's man. You know don't cry, don't show people your emotions. I took after my mom in the height and build department. Always too small, too easy a target, never strong or popular, always...cute."

Eric brushed his right thumb over Ben's left cheek.

"Do you know what a sissy is in the BDSM world?"

"No." Ben gulped at the brush of skin on skin.

"They are the strongest people I know. They are men who have embraced both their masculine and feminine sides. Have allowed both to co-exist. Think about how popular She-males are in porn. The world needs to stop trying to limit our gender and sexuality into only two categories. It's a fluid spectrum meant to be explored and even reveled in."

"That's just your opinion." Ben deflected, staring at their feet rather than meet those piercing brown eyes.

"No, it's not." Eric murmured as he put a finger under ben's chin and lifted his head so their eyes could meet. "It's a point of view."

"What's the difference?"

"Opinions are easily changed, points of view are much harder, people treat them as fact. You choose to view the world through a lens of toxic masculinity. I choose to see things differently."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It can be. It's all in the mindset."

Ben pushed past Eric's body, it was suddenly too hard to breathe with the dom so close.

"Have you always run from the truth?" Eric asked.

The boy spun around to glare up at the dom. "Would you stop pushing?!"

"Why are you so determined to keep me at arm's length?"

"BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE I KEEP EVERYONE!" Ben shouted out, finally losing control over his temper. This whole situation had blown completely out of control.

A look of sympathy covered Eric's face. It looked too much like pity which made it worse.

"That sounds like a very lonely way to live Ben." Eric murmured.

"It's the safe way to live."

"Safe from what? Letting someone in so they can care about you, love you? Being vulnerable is not weakness, it's strength."

Ben let out a hysterical laugh. "What world are you from? Has no one ever taken advantage of you? Used that vulnerability you claim is strength against you?"

"There are risks just like with everything, but what you're doing right now isn't living, it's surviving. Tell me what happened. Who hurt you?"

Damn Eric, he was too perceptive. "No one, not really. It's not like I was abused or anything."

"I'm not saying you were. You don't have to be abused to experience trauma, or pain." Eric shook his head and grimaced all of a sudden. "I've pushed you a lot tonight. How about we talk about something else. We can revisit this another time. I'm sorry sometimes the dom in me takes over."

"That was you being a dom?"

The man gave a sheepish grin.

"It's definitely part of it. Dom's need to know everything they can about the strengths and weaknesses of the submissive they are working with. A lot of trust goes into a scene, and if you don't know your partner's limits or triggers you might do more harm than good. I've seen scenes go wrong, very wrong because it was the wrong mix of people, the dom was inexperienced, or there wasn't enough trust. It's instinct for me to pick apart people. Something you're obviously not comfortable with."

"No, you were right...about everything. I just...I don't let anyone in. Not even friends that I've known for years, and in less than twenty-four hours you have pulled me apart."

"You're probably feeling a bit raw right now. Want something to drink? Or eat?"

"Nah I'm good I had a meal break at work before I came."

"Ok, what would you like to do, I'm at your disposal, I would also understand if you wanna head home. There have been a lot of emotions, which can be exhausting." Eric said gesturing towards the door.

"Can I-never mind."

"What?"

"It's stupid, never mind."

"Nothing you say is stupid. What do you want?"

"Can we do what we did last night?" Ben's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Of course sweetheart. Do you want to put a time limit on it?"

Ben shook his head. "No, I just...need my brain to stop for a bit."

"Yea, ok," Eric said as he sat down on the throne.

The boy followed on watery legs, not believing that he had asked for this, that he was actually going to do it. Ben sunk to his knees beside the chair and Eric ran his fingers through the boy's hair.

"You can lean against me, or the chair. Whatever feels the most comfortable." The dom murmured.

Ben started with a rigid back, but those combing fingers, soon had the boy leaning into the Dom's leg, going practically boneless. The sub's brain shut off and Ben allowed himself to float.

***

AN: I love my comments. Let's make it a chant Comment Comment Comment.