Hi, my name is Aiden, and a lot has happened to me over the past few years. I went through a very important journey of self-discovery, a journey I'd like to share with you all. I believe a lot of people miss out on the opportunity to examine their lives and make themselves truly happy, I hope I can help someone like me find fulfillment in life. People seem to be afraid of sex, and sexual experimentation, and I'm hoping my story can quell some of those fears so some of you can go out and try some new things. If it doesn't, I hope it at least gives you a hard on.
Now, I spent the first 19 years of my life in a sort of suburban limbo. It was like I was floating, day in, day out. I was going through the motions of the life I had always lived. Don't get me wrong, I've lived a very lovely life. I have the most amazing family, and the best group of friends a fellow could ask for. I've never wanted for anything in my life, I've always been clothed, and I've always been fed. Christmas was never a disappointment, and I've always had a roof over my head. All in all, I've been very lucky. However, I always felt this strange emptiness throughout my life. There was always a weird hole in my heart, and a dull ache I could never seem to soothe. I always felt different from my friends, and I didn't know what could help me feel better.
I only ever felt good when I was helping people, when I was doing community service or something. Whenever I felt needed, I felt complete. Everything else throughout most of my life (especially high school) felt a little shallow and hollow, as if I wasn't being honest with myself. I mean, I've always portrayed myself as a good kid, and I've got the looks to complete the image. I'm constantly called cute and adorable, and I've even gotten a few handsomes now and again, though being on the shorter side and having the muscle tone of a prepubescent little girl doesn't really qualify one as handsome. I'm a blonde, so I have more fun, and I have green eyes. One time, I was baby sitting this little girl, and she told me I looked like a prince, so if a child thinks I'm attractive, I've got to look halfway decent because those little buggers can be brutally honest. Along with these princely looks, I've always tried to be as intelligent as possible, and I've always tried to present myself as the model son and friend. I was always happy to help anyone who asked; I kept my grades up, and I got into a good university like my parents wanted. I've also never gotten into trouble, or at least, I've never been caught.
Living this kind of life can put pressure on a kid, and my freshman year in college, I exploded. It was crazy. I'm 23 now, and I would like to think that I've calmed down a bit, but when I was 19, life was a little out of control. I started doing drugs, nothing crazy- X, weed, designer shit, ya know, the basics, and I loved to drink. One thing I'm glad I didn't do was whore around. When all this started, I wasn't really interested in sex at all. I had had it a couple times back in high school, but it just started to bore me, and it always seemed like everyone always thought they knew what they were doing, but had no idea how to please another human being. Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked, I'm not here to tell you how shitty high school kids can be at sex.
So far, I have had to come to terms with two big delusions in my life to find happiness, one of which was the delusion that I liked girls in any fashion. At the beginning of my university life, for all intents and purposes, I was "bisexual" It was easier to navigate the campus that way, and coming home with a "girlfriend" every once and a while really made my parents happy, and to be honest, I was scared to come all the way out. I don't know why, but I just couldn't muster up the courage to do that shit. I mean, now coming out's the last thing I need to be embarrassed about or scared of, but back then it was such a huge deal. So, I kept up the faΓ§ade of a mostly straight guy who enjoyed the occasional peek at the other dudes in the gym shower. However, I could never bring myself to touch a girl, so I was always breaking up with them. It added a lot of unnecessary pain and drama to the girl's life, and my own. In fact, they started this rumor around campus that I was afraid of girls and sex, so eventually all of the females stopped bothering me. Though surprisingly I never heard a rumor about me being gay, but maybe that's because I have a hair trigger on my cock, and the slightest brush against it can give me an erection. I'm not the type of homosexual who claims to be disgusted by girls, they can be pretty. It's the sex that's wrong.
Once again, getting sidetracked, anyway, before I get into this next part, I feel like I should explain a bit of my sexual history because it was here that I started to deny and discover a very important part of myself. Hmm let's see, as you know from up above, I am not a virgin. However, I did not lose my virginity to a girl; I lost it to a boy. It was my best friend. I didn't see it coming, my best friend and I had always been close, ever since we were kids in fact. Plus, he was just a generally affectionate fellow. He was always cuddling or on top of someone, and it didn't matter if they were male or female, but like me, he had had several girlfriends throughout high school, and even told me he had sex with one of them, but that was all a lie apparently. One day, we were hanging out, playing some useless card game when he came out to me, and then his ass went and kissed me! He kept telling me how much he cared for me, and that he always had a crush on me, and before I could even process the thoughts that were running through my head, he kissed me again. I was quite sure as a straight male, I shouldn't have liked that shit, but god fucking damnit I loved it! I can still remember the moment his tongue entered my mouth, as soon as I felt our tongues touch my cock went rock hard, and so did his. I had my first kiss years ago, with a girl who's name I can no longer remember, but this kiss was the first kiss that ever really affected me physically. I started feeling weak and I melted into him. Every time our tongues grazed over each other, it was like a jolt of electricity was running up my spine. I felt like a fucking superhero, every sense was heightened, every touch intensified. It was several years later till I felt something as intense as these kisses. I noticed half way through our make out session that I was sucking on his tongue, and I realized I was even in love with the taste of his saliva.