Here to Stay

Gavin stared blankly ahead, holding Emmett's hand firmly between both of his. Susan walked in.

"Gavin, it's ten o' clock. Visiting hours are over," she stated as gently as she could. Gavin looked up at the nurse.

"I know. Thank you," he said, starting to tear up again. He had cried every day at those words for the past week.

Susan left the room as Gavin stood and leaned over Emmett. He kissed Emmett's forehead.

"Emmett, I love you," Gavin choked. "I'll be back tomorrow." He kissed Emmett's hand and left.

Gavin arrived at the apartment and went directly to bed. He could still smell Emmett on the pillows and sheets as he lay down. He buried his face into the pillow, taking in Emmett's scent while sobbing.

The doctors were hopeful. Emmett was in relatively good condition. He had hadn't broken anything, which the doctors attributed to his relaxed physical state when the car struck, but there was head trauma. He had taken two blows, one from the windshield of the car, and the other from the pavement. The doctors, however, were extremely satisfied with the recovery process anatomically. Regardless, Emmett remained in a coma, tearing at Gavin's heart. He jumped at every phone call, praying that it would be the hospital telling him that Emmett had awoken.

Gavin tossed and turned all night. Although he was exhausted, he couldn't stay asleep for more than an hour. His mind was littered with thoughts of Emmett, as it had been for the past nights. Emmett's words ran through his head: 'I'm sorry . . . I knew you weren't going to leave me . . .'

Gavin was back in the hospital at eight the next morning, sitting at Emmett's side. Susan looked at the sight. At first, Gavin had been too embarrassed to show his tears in front of anyone at the hospital. Now, however, he cried openly. He had dark circles around his tired, sad eyes and had stubble on his face.

The first night, she had informed him that no one was permitted in Emmett's room except immediate family. Gavin had all but threatened to break into the room to see Emmett after telling her Emmett had no blood relatives. She had let him in the room after a couple of hours when she found out from an adamant Cassidy that Gavin was as close to family as Emmett had. He arrived just before eight every morning, like clockwork, and left at ten every night. He helped the nurses and doctors if he could, whether it was when they had to reposition Emmett to prevent blood clots and discomfort, or filling out papers and information. She admired his dedication to Emmett, and prayed that Emmett would pull through as she proceeded to another patient, glancing back one more time to ensure everything was okay.

--

Cassidy walked into the hospital room, not expecting the sight that awaited her. Emmett lay on his back in the small bed with Gavin's large frame lying next to him. Gavin had somehow wrapped his arms around Emmett, his face nuzzled in the crook of Emmett's neck, and his legs dangled off the edge of the bed. Cassidy chuckled to herself as she closed Gavin's computer.

"Always doing work for the restaurant," she said quietly to a sleeping Gavin. "Well, it's about time you actually got some sleep."

She sat in the chair in the room and drew designs for a client for the next two hours, oblivious to Susan's occasional checks on Emmett. A doctor finally walked in and talked to Cassidy, paying no attention to the couple on the bed.

"Good afternoon," he said to Cassidy's familiar face.

"Hello, Dr. Munich," Cassidy greeted. "How's our Sleeping Beauty?"

"Still completely stable, or seemingly so. The cranial swelling is almost completely gone, and his bruising is healing nicely, although he'll be sore for a while when he wakes up." He was interrupted by his pager screaming on his belt. Cassidy heard him curse as he ran out the door.

Gavin stirred, and turned over to see what the commotion was about.

"Hey," he said groggily to Cassidy, who had her sketches spread all over the floor. "You turned this place into a dump while I was asleep." He nodded at the papers strewn about.

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one who has to get some work done here," Cassidy said, not even looking up from her drawing.

"What kind of pansy-ass job is interior design and remodeling, anyways?" Gavin teased.

"Said the gay man," Cassidy giggled. Gavin laughed.

"Just because I plan on spending forever with this man doesn't mean I'm a fairy," he smiled toward Emmett.

"Aw. That's cute," Cassidy winked. "Seriously, though, you know I'm teasing you about the whole pansy thing. You're as manly as guys come, minus the bad smell, unkempt hair, lack of style, dumbassedness . . . well, maybe not the dumbass--"

"Thanks, Cass. I get the idea." Gavin's happiness vanished as quickly as it had come when he looked back at Emmett. Gavin laced his fingers through Emmett's, kissing the back of Emmett's hand.

"He'll wake up, you know. He's strong," Cassidy said, looking sympathetically into her friend's tearing eyes. "The doctor said 'when he wakes up' today, not 'if he wakes up'."

"I miss him, Cass. I miss him so much," Gavin said, cut off by another sob. Cassidy gathered her papers in a folder and stood up.

"I'm going to grab a bite, and then I have to be to a client's house. I'll be back tomorrow. Hang in there, Gavin." She walked out, leaving Gavin alone with Emmett once more. Gavin looked down at Emmett's peaceful face affectionately, then bent down and kissed him lightly. Gavin realized just how much he had missed Emmett's lips on his for the past week.

He repositioned Emmett, then crawled onto the bed, his legs hanging off the side again. He pulled Emmett's arms around him and sank into Emmett's chest as the tears continued down his cheeks.

"Emmett, I miss you," he croaked. He lay in Emmett's arms for a few more minutes, then got up and did work until evening fell. After he had put his ledgers and computer away in his bag, he finished reading aloud to Emmett what he knew to be one of Emmett's favorite plays:

The Importance of Being Earnest.

Gavin looked up after part one to see a tear dripping from Emmett's eye to the pillow. He looked and saw that Emmett's pulse had quickened as well. Both, he knew, were signs of developing consciousness.

"Thank God," Gavin said, brushing the tear off of his lover's face with one hand and clutching Emmett's hand with the other.

--

Emmett heard the steady pulse of the heart monitor and the various other hospital noises around him. As he became more aware, he had no recollection of why he was there, and was not calm enough to slow down and think about why. Tensing up, he began to panic, not knowing what to do.

"Emmett," Gavin said softly. Emmett immediately relaxed at the sound of Gavin's voice and the feel of Gavin's hand in his, knowing that he was safe. "Forgive me, Emmett."

Emmett was overwhelmed, but finally completely aware.

"Water," he rasped, hardly audibly.

--

For the next hour or so, Gavin sat in the waiting room while Emmett was being examined, fed, questioned, and other various processes. While the doctor and Susan told Emmett what had happened and how long he'd been down as they ran the tests, Gavin was pacing for what seemed like days in the small, square room.

Finally, Gavin was reunited with a much less confused Emmett. As Gavin walked in, looking at Emmett sitting up in the bed eating ice chips, he realized Emmett had lost a noticeable amount of weight, although he wasn't frail by any means. Gavin walked straight to Emmett and enveloped him in his arms, burying his face in Emmett's neck.

"I missed you so much," he sobbed quietly, pulling at Emmett's heartstrings. "I love you, Emmett."

"Why did you ask me to forgive you earlier?" Emmett asked, surrounding a shaking Gavin in his arms.

"I lied to you."

"About what?"

"I told you I was leaving. I can't leave, Emmett, not now," Gavin said softly. "I'm here to stay."

"Oh, Gavin," Emmett whispered. He ran his fingers through Gavin's hair, then down his face. "What's this? No product in your hair? And you haven't shaved in days. I can't believe Cassidy let you out in public." Gavin let a laugh escape amidst his tears. "I bet it looks damn sexy," Emmett said, laughing himself.

Gaining seriousness, Emmett leaned down and smelled Gavin, his senses whirling.

"I lied, too," Emmett said into Gavin's neck. "I never wanted you to leave. I was so scared, though."

"I would be, too, if I were you. That sounds so cliché, but I mean it. I messed up back then, big time. I don't plan on ever doing it again. I was so drunk, and I wasn't aware of how many people I would hurt and the consequences of my actions. I can promise you, Emmett, I will never do that to you."

"So that's why you don't drink? Aside from the fact you have a blind man to lead home almost every night," Emmett chuckled.

"Yes, that's why I rarely drink," Gavin said. Emmett smelled Gavin again, then broke the pause in conversation.

"I love you, Gavin."

"I love you, too. More than you know," Gavin replied. Their beautiful moment was interrupted by Cassidy dashing into the room.

"Emmett!" she exclaimed, peeling a pissed-off Gavin off of him to give Emmett a hug of her own. She looked back to Gavin. "You live with him. You'll have plenty of time for that when he goes home," she winked.

"I hate you, and you want to know why?" Gavin said.

"Sure, why not?" Cassidy smiled.

"It's impossible to stay angry at you." Emmett laughed, and Gavin treasured the sound.

"It's true, you know," Emmett said to Cassidy. "How're you doing?"

"I should be asking you that. You skip reality for a week and then ask me how I'm doing? There's something wrong there." Cassidy paused. "Matt and Suzanne told me to tell you that they're happy you're among the living now."

"Where are they now?"

"Spain, for two weeks."

"I swear, they're on the longest honeymoon I've ever heard of," Emmett grinned.

The three visited until ten o' clock, when another nurse arrived to tell them that visiting hours were over. Cassidy kissed Emmett on the cheek, said goodbye and walked out. When she was outside, she turned to the nurse.

"Give them a moment alone," she suggested.

"Why?" the young woman asked.

"Because they've been separated for a week and you're asking them to be separated again. That's really hard to do when they hold a piece of each other in their hearts, so just give them a minute."

"I'm not obligated to give anyone an extra minute, let alone a

gay

couple," the nurse spat out, malice in her voice.

"Excuse me?" Cassidy said, smiling at the woman's audacity. "What's your name? I also want to know if you value your job here, because if you don't, go right on in there and kick him out. I'll let your supervisor know why you didn't give them an extra second. I'm sure they don't take kindly to intolerance toward patients." The nurse gaped at Cassidy, then walked away to the nurses' station.

Inside, after Cassidy had walked out, Gavin sat beside Emmett on the bed, his hands on Emmett's shoulders.

"I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning to take you home," Gavin said, pulling Emmett to him.

"I don't want to spend another night without you," Emmett said, kissing Gavin's scruffy cheek. Gavin leaned in and kissed Emmett earnestly, then embraced him again.

"I love you, Emmett."

"And I love you, Gavin," Emmett replied, kissing Gavin again. "Now go before Cassidy bitch-slaps the nurse out there. They've been going at it for a while." Gavin left reluctantly, and when he got to the door he turned around.

"I'll miss you, Emmett," he said. "I'll miss you so much."

Emmett tried hard not to cry, and managed, "I'll miss you, too, Gav," before Gavin left the room. Emmett spilled his tears then, ignoring the nurse that came in to check on him. He tried to sleep all night, but only dozed off before he would wake up again, missing the feeling of Gavin next to him.

Gavin faced similar problems that night, and barely slept for yet another night. Finally, after hours of tossing and turning, he relented to watching "Friends" reruns, eating popcorn, ice cream, and drinking soda, hoping for a distraction from the thoughts of Emmett whirling through his mind.

--

Emmett was going stir-crazy. Doctors and nurses doing last minute checks and Gavin filling out release papers was not what he wanted. He wanted to be alone with Gavin at home. Gavin felt similarly, frustrated by the seemingly endless lines to sign and fill out and paragraphs to read on the papers. At last, they were allowed to leave.

Once at the apartment building, as soon as Gavin had pulled Emmett out of the car, Gavin scooped him up, carrying him up the stairs and into the apartment, kissing him the entire way. He lay Emmett down gently on the couch, then straightened.

"Would a drink pique your interest?" Gavin asked.

"No," Emmett said, grabbing the first thing his hand came to on Gavin, which happened to be the bottom of Gavin's tee-shirt, and pulling on it. Gavin fell, catching himself with his arms on each side of Emmett. Emmett ran his hand along Gavin's face, then pulled him in for a desirous kiss. "You, however,

do

pique my interest."

Gavin pushed himself up with his arms and stood, sliding away from the couch.

"There will be none of that. And you're probably sore."

"Hey, Mother Hen, I'm okay. I'm a big boy. I can tolerate being sore. Being without you for any longer, however, I cannot," Emmett said, reaching his hand out to Gavin. Gavin kissed it, got both of them a glass of water, and walked back over. He helped Emmett sit up, Emmett grunting from the pain.

"You just need to take it easy, big guy," Gavin said, sitting down next to Emmett on the couch.

"Yes, but I'm sure as hell not going to let that stop you from holding me," Emmett said, grabbing Gavin's thigh and pulling him closer. Gavin got up, disappointing Emmett, until he felt Gavin climb over the back of the couch and sink down behind him, his legs on each side of Emmett's. Emmett swung his legs up on the couch, and Gavin did the same as he grabbed Emmett's hands with his. Emmett sunk back into Gavin's firm chest, loving that it wasn't too hard or too soft. Emmett heard Gavin's shallow, measured breathing, and knew that he had fallen asleep, after only a few moments of relaxation.

"Why didn't you tell me you were so tired?" Emmett whispered, kissing Gavin's hand. "I probably should have known you haven't slept while I was catching up on beauty sleep for a week." Emmett was touched that Gavin had thought of him before himself. Emmett took a deep breath, grimacing a little at the pain, then snuggled into Gavin, rested, and eventually fell asleep.

--

Gavin sighed happily as he woke up. He became aware of Emmett's hands still in his and opened his eyes. Glancing to the side, Gavin saw the Emmett's head was resting back on his shoulder. He kissed Emmett's temple, again sighing contentedly. He opened his eyes again, this time laughing uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face as he gasped for breath.

Emmett awoke to Gavin's body quaking with laughter. Emmett took his hand and ran it over Gavin's unshaven face, feeling the wetness from the tears.

"What, pray tell, is so funny?" Emmett asked in a groggy tone.

"I'm sorry," Gavin managed, still laughing, but finally calming down. "I'm not quite sure why it's so funny, but I can't feel my legs." Gavin started laughing again. "I'm trying to move them, but I can't."

Emmett smiled at the sound of Gavin's laughter filling the apartment, never wanting it to stop. He got up carefully, relieving Gavin's problem.

"Oh, geez," Gavin hissed, swinging his legs off the couch.

"What now?" Emmett asked, standing above Gavin.

"Pins and needles," Gavin said. He sat for a few minutes, waiting for full feeling in his legs, then stood up. Emmett was in the kitchen, setting their water glasses in the sink, then turned around and leaned against the counter, facing Gavin when he heard him walk in.

"Better now?" Emmett smirked.

"Much," Gavin replied, wrapping his arms around Emmett's waist and burying his face in Emmett's neck, kissing and nibbling lovingly. Emmett sighed, embracing Gavin.

"I have to tell you, Emmett, you need a shower," Gavin joked, backing up. Emmett pushed him playfully, mocking offense, then pulled him in and kissed him.

"I can think of the perfect person to do that job," Emmett whispered in Gavin's ear before biting Gavin's earlobe, eliciting a sharp intake of air from Gavin.

"Emmett, don't do that," Gavin said hoarsely. Emmett backed away, afraid he did something wrong. Gavin pulled him back in, kissing him again. "I have very sensitive ears."

"I'll keep that in mind," Emmett said, interrupted when Gavin picked him up gently, carrying him down the hall. "You know, you can't carry me everywhere now that I'm home. I've atrophied enough."

"Atrophied? Emmett, you have more definition than you did before, which was seemingly impossible before you lost the weight. Granted, you might have a slightly smaller muscle mass, but don't worry: I plan on working every single muscle group to exhaustion once you've fully recovered," Gavin hinted, setting Emmett on his feet in the bedroom.

Emmett was turned on by Gavin's statement, so much so that as soon as his feet touched the ground, he pulled Gavin to him by the arm, threw him onto the bed, and practically leapt on top of him. He attacked Gavin's mouth, yanking Gavin's pants and underwear off quickly, leaving them around one of Gavin's ankles. Emmett undid his own pants, laying back down and grinding his groin into Gavin's, then kissed every inch of Gavin's neck, finally arriving at a sensitive spot behind his ear. Both of them were moaning as Emmett bit down lightly, sucking the skin. Gavin was taken by surprise, and let out a cry. Emmett felt Gavin explode beneath him, the sound and feeling so erotic that it pushed him over the edge. Emmett came, too, his seemingly endless amount of semen spilling between them.

Emmett slumped down, relaxing on top of Gavin, smearing the liquid all over their torsos. Gavin took a breath and opened his eyes, exhausted.

"Oh, my god, Emmett," he whispered. "That was amazing. Fast, again, but amazing. I'm not quite sure what I did to trigger that, but I sure am glad I did." Gavin tilted his head up from where it had rested on the mattress, giving Emmett a gentle, heartfelt kiss. "Thank you."

"Mmhmm," Emmett responded drowsily in reply, nuzzling his face into Gavin's neck. "I love you, Gavin."

Something in the statement stirred Gavin to tears. He didn't know why he was crying, whether it was Emmett's admission, what they had just done, the fact that Emmett was in his arms again, or all three, but a tear made its way from the corner of his eye to the bed.

"Gavin, what's wrong?" Emmett asked, feeling Gavin's shaky breathing.

"Nothing. Everything is perfect," Gavin whispered honestly, kissing Emmett again. "I love you, too. And look, you've made me into a crier. You're the only one who's ever made me cry this much, Emmett. I don't know why, but I love it."

Gavin kicked his jeans and underwear from around his left ankle.

"Look, my pants weren't even all the way off," Gavin laughed, sitting up and pulling Emmett with him.

"Come on, you, shower time," he said, looking at Emmett's light sprinkling of chest hair matted from their releases. He kissed Emmett sensually again, then they walked to the bathroom and stepped in the shower together, lost in one another.