Heartbrea and Endless Tears

Bradleigh is extremely smart. So smart in fact that he aces all of his courses every semester without studying. He can complete a one-thousand-piece picture puzzle in forty-five minutes. He can solve a Rubik's cube in ten. He's also an avid reader, this Bradleigh, and he can't help but roll his eyes when the protagonists make the most nonsensical decisions that bring about the worst possible outcomes. These are the reasons why it's so unfathomable to him how he found himself in this mess.

He crashed his dad's truck into a tree.

In the middle of nowhere.

In the wee hours of the morning.

His Phone is dead.

And he's also still drunk from the alcohol from earlier.

His father is going to bludgeon him with the first object he gets his hands on. Seriously, one time, his dad beat him with a cushion. It hurt like hell, and to this day, he still doesn't understand how.

He is three minutes away from offing himself.

Two minutes away from having a breakdown.

And one minute away from resuming his 'sob-fest.'

He feels so stupid going to that party at Herald's Bay.

*****

It was a Thursday and Bradleigh was wiping down some tables in his dad's restaurant; One hour away from lock up when suddenly, boisterous laughter filled the air and he heard the chime of the bells above the entrance door. He looked up and there, amongst the sea of smiles was the one smile that melts his heart like a stick of butter in a hot skillet.

Daniel.

Him and Dan were besties. Their moms were best friends so it was only fitting that their sons become best friends as well. But you know...life happened...and their friendship only lasted until the beginning of high school and Dan joined the soccer team and became the star of the squad and he started hanging with the 'popular' group and overtime, he stopped coming over to Brad's house after school, stopped replying to his texts, stopped speaking to him; It's like the two boys never knew each other.

It's been five years since they last saw each other. Brad went off to college in England while Dan stayed behind to help his pops out at his hardware store.

It was an awful time. He couldn't stop thinking about Dan and how he was doing while he was away. He could not understand how their friendship just...ceased. Poof. Gone. Like a magician making a rabbit disappear.

This is the first time that Brad is seeing Dan since he came back two months ago.

He looks the same way, just taller. Wavy dark hair, rich chocolate eyes, and lips the same colour as a ripe strawberry.

His eyebrows are slanted upwards, which makes him look as though he's frowning all the time and it just makes him look even cuter.

The sight of Dan just...cuts the hole of intense neediness and loneliness within him so deep, with such a ferocity that if feels like a machete mincing his insides.

"Hello, Brad," he says, his voice still carrying that same smooth bass. He says it so casually too, as if all is well with the world. As if he didn't practically cut Brad out of his life. As if Brad's existence never mattered to him.

Keeping things professional, Brad responds: "Hi gentlemen, welcome to Stef's Steak Shak, what can I get you?"

Daniel gives him a long look, the stare that makes you feel like he's staring into your soul and reading every thought. And he's good at it. Somehow, Daniel just knows what he's thinking, knows what he's going to do, knows what kind of mood he's in just by staring and it still scares him.

"Burgers for everyone please."

Dan pays and sits at the booth at the far end with his buddies.

Bradleigh rings up their order and continues with his evening duties. The whole time, his skin is on fire. He feels a pair of eyes on him and he feels clammy and uncomfortable.

When he went over to retrieve the plates and cutlery, Daniel grabbed his arm.

"Stop by at Herald's Bay later, we're having a beach party there in a few hours. A sunrise type of thing. It starts at 3."

"I don't"-

"Oh, come on, Brad, you have nothing to do at home. It'll be fun."

He hates when people put him on the spot. As of now, six pairs of eyes are staring at him. And he so badly wants to say "no" but somehow, "yes" rolls off his tongue. He can never say "no" to Dan, even after all this time.

The boys whoop and cheer while Brad mentally sighs.

*****

Brad doesn't know what to wear. It's a party...on the beach...at night...or morning? Well, it'll be dark either way. But like, what's the procedure? He can't go wrong with a

beach

pants. Right? But then he'd feel silly if he's the only person in swimwear.

A mental image flashes in his mind of him showing up in nothing but his College Swim team speedo.

He chuckles to himself, that'll for sure make a statement.

But for real, it's 2023, who cares what others thinks.

He chooses his black shorts with palm trees and a white T-shirt. He wears all white sneakers and proceeds to walk out the door-

"Where are you off to, bud?" asks his father, Stephan. "It's three a.m."

"Uhhhh, just this party on the beach."

"With who?"

"Daniel."

Stefan is silent for a while.

He does that thing where he moves his hands in a circular motion when he's having difficulty comprehending something and asks: "So, I mean...but how...?" [he stammers and clears his throat] "I thought you weren't speaking."

"I thought so too."

"So, what happened?"

"I'd like to know myself."

*****

Okay, girls are wearing bikinis and boys are shirtless so he doesn't feel weird about his appearance. He idly walks about, taking in the mass of energetic bodies prancing around while sipping raw whiskey from a plastic cup.

It's the typical scene that's so common nowadays. Girls taking selfies and updating their Instagram statuses, fellas playing games that involve drinking alcohol, couples huddled close together in dark corners and that one guy passed out on the ground.

But the ambience is nice. There's a full moon, there's the whooshing sound of the waves lapping at the shore and the sea mist spraying his face. Despite the vulgar rap music, it actually feels great to be outside. To be here.

Brad feels a hand on his shoulder and he looks around to see Daniel behind him.

"You made it."

"I guess so."

"Come, walk with me."

The men stroll along the shore, an uncomfortable silence between them.

"So...how are yuh?" mumbles Dan.

"What am I doing here Daniel?"

"So, what, we can't hang out now? I just miss you, is all."

Bradleigh doesn't answer him. If he does, he'll say something he'll regret.

They walk until the noise from the party becomes a distant thud and decide to relax in the confines of a secluded cove. Dan takes out his blanket from his backpack and rests it on the sand.

At this point, the sky is basked in shades of tangerine, purple and pink. The sea gulls begin their morning routine of scoping the sand for scraps and diving into the water hoping to grab a fish while the sand crabs creep out of their hiding holes; occasionally scrambling back in when one of the birds walks by.

"You haven't answered my question."

"I'm doing well Daniel, just peachy."

Daniel laughs, "you don't sound

peachy

."

"I'm leaving." Brad attempts to stand up but Daniel drags him back down by the tail end of his shirt.

"No, talk to me."

"Dan, I'm not in the mood- you know what. I'd like to just know why. What did I ever do to you? One minute we were...I don't know, inseparable, and you just cut me out of..."

Daniel mutes him by entwining their lips. He doesn't give Brad a chance. He kisses him with so much hunger; with so much longing. It's like Bradleigh is the oxygen he needs to survive; as though Bradleigh's presence is so important to him right now that if he were to leave, he'll die on the spot.

And while they're kissing, a kaleidoscope of memories flashes at the forefront of his brain. All those times he so badly wanted to tell Brad how much he means to him and about the love he has for him. But he had to repress these feelings. He had to put them in a cardboard box and store them at the very far back of his mind. So long forgotten that the box picked up a lot of cobwebs and went into a state of wear and tear.

It was for the best because Brad was killing him. It's so unbearably hard to be around someone knowing that he will never like you

that way

.

But who was he to arrive at hollow conclusions. To just presume that Bradleigh was straight. This is one of life's most fundamental lessons. If you don't take a risk, you'll never know where it could lead you. If you don't open your mouth and speak up for what you want, you will always go without.

And it turns out that that this risk brought the desired result he was looking for. Bradleigh is kissing him back, snaking his tongue inside of his mouth and running his hands through his hair. The men pull away and hurriedly disrobe until they're fully naked; taking mental polaroids of each other's bodies before resettling on the blanket. Bradleigh lies down on his back and Daniel uses his left knee to part his thighs so he can settle between them and the feel of each other's arousal and the feel of their skin gliding against each other's make everything seem so real. They continue to kiss for a little while until Daniel stops and looks at him seriously, bringing a packaged condom into his line of sight. Brad didn't even see when he retrieved it.

Brad nods because the alcohol has diminished his rationality. This is so, so wrong but yet, it feels oh, so right.

Dan tears the packet with his teeth and gets on his knees so that he can properly wrap it around his penis.

Bradleigh looks on with wide eyes at his friend's apparatus. It's a shade darker than the rest of his body. It sports a pattern of netted veins along with the same arch of a boomerang. The sight of it is so indecent. It sends a shiver through his entire being.

His buddy doesn't waste any time. He leans back over him and reconnects their lips, all the while slowly pressing himself into the thermal embrace of his tight man-pussy. The further in he goes, the louder Brad's moans become. Brad winces and tries to push him away. The stinging pain is so bad that his eyes begin to water.

Daniel kisses his tears away and whispers in a needy tone: "please don't make me stop, baby. I've wanted this for a long time. I've wanted you for a long time."

Bradley nods and Daniel gradually increases his momentum, still being cautious not to hurt him too much. Methodically, he rocks in and out of his asshole. Everything just feels so right, like Bradleigh is the piece of him that he didn't know he needed; It feels like heaven on earth when he's inside.

Over time, Brad's discomfort begins to dissipate. It starts to feel great for him too. When Dan notices this, he starts to hammer away. The bulbous head of his cock bruises his tender prostate and Brad experiences a kicking sensation in his belly every time. So good a feeling that he starts to thrash his head left and right, enough to give him whiplash. His facial expression shows one of eternal bliss, his skin starts to sheen and his groin starts to feel electrified.

Likewise, Dan gets the same feeling so he withdraws and crawls down his body and swallows his pal's needy, leaking, rigid cock. He sucks with purpose, with so much passion. If it is one thing he yearned to do in this life, it's to know how a man's genitals taste; It's a bonus that it's Brad's he gets to service and it's everything he imagined it to be. The organ is so warm against his tongue, the texture of it is so smooth and velvety; the way it jabs against his throat feels glorious. The act of sucking a man's penis is so hot to Daniel. Knowing that he holds so much power over a man; bringing him close to climax and then stopping and the sweet cries of "no, not yet" and "suck it some more" followed by Brad's efforts of pulling his head back down and guiding his length between his lips where it belongs; knowing that he can render such raw, unrelenting pleasure to him with just his mouth; The whole thing seems so unreal.

Soon after, he stops and positions Brad to get on all fours. He gets behind him and resumes the sweet love-making. This time, he lets loose and starts to beat his man-cunt up like a sex-starved man. When the feel of his orgasm builds, he cuts his rhythm down, and when it goes away, he speeds back up again and continues the cycle until he can't prolong it anymore and he cries out and floods the condom with his cream, praying to God that no one hears him.

*****

The men put their clothes back on, pack up and walk back to the party feeling satiated and spent. Bradleigh so badly wants to hold his hand but he keeps himself in check. As soon as they get close to the crowd, a woman pops out of nowhere.

"Oh my God, Daniel! I've been looking all over for you. Where've you been?"

"Uhhh, Chelsie, Hiiii..."

"I know, I know. I said I wasn't going to come, but..." [she pauses to catch her breath]. "So, you know how I wasn't feeling well these past few days?"

"Yeah..."

Bradleigh can't help but admire how beautiful she is.

"Well, Kelly suggested I take a pregnancy test and I did and I just couldn't wait to tell you so I rushed over here. WE'RE PREGNANT!"

"REALLY?!?!?!?"

"YES."

In a split second she jumps in his arms and kisses him on the mouth.

Suddenly, Bradleigh feels lightheaded. His ears start to ring and he feels a stabbing pain in his chest. He can't help but notice how happy they look and he begins to feel---disgusted with himself. He feels sick to his stomach.

He's gutted.

He can't believe he deluded himself into thinking that he had any type of future with him. He feels so stupid.

He disrespected himself when he allowed Daniel to reinsert himself back into his life. Daniel never valued him, never cherished him, never cared about him, never appreciated his presence. If he did, he would've never abandoned him. He merely...

used

him.

Turns out that the 'love' Daniel had for him wasn't love at all. It was lust.

When they pull away, she asks: "Who's this?"

Bradleigh says "no one" and walks by them, catching a glimpse of the horrified, guilty look etched across Daniel's face.

The tears come. They're endless. No matter how many times he swipes at his eyes, his vision remains blurry. By the time he reaches his vehicle, he's sobbing uncontrollably into the palms of his hands.