Heart of Gold

BRENDAN

I was pissed no doubt about it.

"I still don't know why I have to waste a perfectly good Friday night helping at a soup kitchen" I bragged.

"You know I hate it as much as you do." ensured my dad.

I sighed annoyingly at my dad, of course he would say that, mom has him by the gonads.

I began to feel self-conscious right when my dad drove his new Mustang to the Henry Davis Community Center parking lot. Gulp!

Maybe it wasn't good idea for me to wear my new Adidas and expensive yellow Hollister shirt to this place. In definition, most of the people going to soup kitchen were poor.

My dad was right though, the soup kitchen was a great pla place for the suckers at Brown or Princeton to see that I help out the less fortunate.

Still, I felt so out of place going here. Also, I would be caught dead if my elite group of friends found out I was here. NO! It will certainly be a cold day in hell if they did.

I guess I should introduce myself; my name is Brendan, Brendan Houghton. I guess if you want to become a movie director like me, you do have to go to a prestigious place like Brown. Plus, I think my resume that includes captain of the rugby and lacrosse team would be good too. Oh, don't forget class president.

I was what you can call the golden boy in the small town of Weston just north of Grand Rapids. You had to be somebody just to hang out with me, no fucking doubt. I guess this place wouldn't be too happy if they found out that I was stinking rich as well. I was loved by my wealth, academic achievements, and of course striking good looks.

My dad is the owner of two prestigious hotels in Grand Rapids and my mother is the number one child psychologist in the city as well.

I could've been out having a swell time with my buddies at one of our notorious parties. But no, I am stuck at some gritty shit.

I got out of the car and looked at my dad who was disgusted at the gritty looking place, don't worry dad, you're not the only one. "Call me twenty minutes in advance so I can come and pick you up."

"Sure, bye." I said while gritting my teeth. With that, my father quickly drove out of the community center in the Grand Rapids parking lot to his big palace of a mansion in Weston.

I sighed deeply and looked at the small place; the place could use a god paint job that's for sure.

LOGAN

I never like coming to the soup kitchens. Coming to soup kitchens are always a burden to me because then it pressures me work more to help out my mother.

This was the fifth time this year we go to a soup kitchen ever since my mom lost her job when the company she worked moved to India last year.

My mom applied for Food Stamps, but only gets about five hundred a month for me and my little brother. During those food stamps, we were fortunate to even have our gas on during the winters, granted that meant losing the electricity for about two weeks.

I always tell my mom to let me drop out of school so I can work full time at the Chinese restaurant I work at.

She says no son of her will drop out or they'll be sleeping in the streets. She says her sacrificing will not go to vain.

Plus, she always adds. I entering Weston High in top honors in my classes can ensure me I get scholarships and grants.

"We are here," she said in her tired voice. I sigh deeply and wake up my thirteen year old brother in the back seat. The good thing is that no one from my school can see me here. It's not that I am ashamed or anything, I just can't risk people giving me a pity well.

I'm not much of a talker at school and tend to keep to myself. Most of the people there are stinking rich, so I would feel like a fish out of water... or money for lack of better term.

I didn't want to eat at first, but my stomach and headache started to get on my last nerves so eating here was the only option.

I grabbed a tray from the start of the line and waited for the line to start moving. The smell of factory made lasagna waived around the large center.

Great lasagna! I thought to myself sarcastically.

Just when my stomach couldn't drop anymore, it hit the floor. I saw none other than Brendan Houghton giving out the refreshments to the people in trays. I wasn't hungry anymore.

Instead of hunger in my stomach, butterflies filled up my belly. It always seemed to fill me up whenever I saw the man of my dreams.

Even with a red leather apron and a plastic bag in his hair along with an impatient face he's still the most beautiful person I've ever seen.

I couldn't stop staring at him, even when my face turned red when he locked eyes with me.

BRENDAN

This dude from class kept on looking at me.

What the hell is his problem?!?

Still, I couldn't believe someone from my class come to this shithole. I mean, couldn't he get I dunno get food stamps or something like that.

The food here looked distasteful, food I wouldn't even give my Golden Retriever. My disapproving face started to fall to pity. He was probably looking at me because he thought I would rat him out.

He looks like the kids my friend Steven and the gang would prank on and stuff in school. My friends always had an elitist type of mindset. I admit that I have that mindset when I am with them as well. I am different when I am in school and after school. Right now, I was feeling a little self-conscious and kinda sorry.

A mature, tired with golden blonde hair just like him who I assumed was his mother asked for a Faygo Lime soda. A little boy who looked to be about eleven or twelve in my opinion was next and he asked for a Coke.

Last but not least...

"Um...c..can I have a lemon-lime soda," he asked a little timid and nervous. His golden green eyes were trying to look away from me while his milky pale skin had a tinge of blush and sweat rolling from his forehead.

His clothing was kind of deplorable, his arm length blue shirt was moth eaten and needed a good wash. He was tall though, about 6 feet but very skinny. His green eyes looked tired and his eyelids were baggy. His lips were pink though looked dry and chapped. I gave him his drink.

"Here you go...um...," great! I felt like a total dick, I didn't even know the guy's name.

"Logan, Logan Hoekstra," he gave me a handshake. He was so cordial and such a gentleman. Something I'm not used to seeing with my friends. "Thanks Brendan," he said with a mellow and warm voice, he knew my name...of course he knew me name I thought immensely.

I saw him walk back to the table his mother and brother. Logan. Somehow, I didn't know why but I wanted to know more about Logan. I didn't even notice my hand was in midair until an irate elder man asked for some pop.

I wasn't paying attention to the customers; all I kept on looking was at Logan.

LOGAN

"I don't want to get my hopes up but the worker's union I was telling you guys about called and hopefully I'll get a job by next month."

I was trying to pay attention to my mom's great news, but I really couldn't. I wasn't even hungry either; all I kept on thinking about was Brendan.

I was feeling self-conscious above all that he would see me here. I'm scared that he'll tell all his friends and that jerk Steven that I eat at a soup kitchen. I know he isn't that evil of a person, but who knows. He may seem nice here but

I know the way he treats me and other people.

I was also feeling embarrassed that the person I admired was here. God, I hated myself so much right now. I hated that the one person I liked didn't just know me but also that I was dirt poor. I know that he is stinking rich and popular beyond belief. He is also the most beautiful person I have ever met.

I was trying not to look at his beautiful arctic blue eyes because I know that I would just stare at them. I hated the fact that I had to go to that damn school. Everyone looked at me like I was some walking piece of shit.

No one ever talks to me for the simple fact that I am poor and some (like Brendan and his people) think it is their god given right to ridicule me because of it. That's why I hate myself too.

I have to be realistic, am I ever going to think Brendan will fall for a gay, weak kid who has no money and the only shopping he has ever done is at the second stores. I felt so pathetic just thinking about it. My mom always says I have my head in the clouds and am a huge dreamer when I talk about him. Guess she is right after all.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I hated living through all the stress and also having to deal with the scrutinizing behavior people in school had at me. Another reason I wanted to drop out of school.

Brendan was easy to spot figuring his 6' 3'' frame and beautiful silky smooth black hair. I said it once and I'll say it again, he looks so beautiful even with the things they make him put on. I hope my mom didn't notice me staring so much at him or that I was sporting a boner the size of the Eiffel Tower.

I didn't eat any of the lasagna instead drank the soda he gave me. I was feeling more depressed and my self-esteem was down the crapper.

How am I going to able to able to walk down the halls now with him either thinking more less of me or worse having pity on me? My affections toward him were obviously growing and I couldn't do anything to stop. I didn't even notice I was staring at him until his blue eyes were on me. We just stared at each other.

BRENDAN

Logan was staring at me.

His green eyes were enchantingly beautiful. They would be if they didn't look like he needed sleep. It really hit me that I was staring at the kid. He had blonde hair that curled at the sides. Logan. He was in my last hour at school and was a member of the Choir at school. Funny, how now I know so much about the kid. Logan.

I needed to stop thinking about him before I punch the kid in the face! I was getting angry now. Curse my parents for bringing me here and curse Logan for now making me think of him. That's it I need to get laid if I'm now thinking about some poor trash like Logan.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse it did. The retard dropped his tray of food all over the floor. I didn't mean to call him a retard, but the way he looked just made me feel pitiful for the kid. Too make matters worse for me the kitchen lady told me to help clean up the mess.

"Do I have to the kid goes to my school," I was resilient; no way in hell was I going, "please don't make me help the loser, what if he sees me here." She just raised her eyebrow in a "are you serious?" expression. I pulled a little tantrum and walked towards the kid trying to clean up.

Logan. He gazed his eyes at me, he started to blush. Does this kid like me or what? He blushes every time he sees me. I was kind of flattered but still it's a dude. I mean sure his eyes are very beautiful in an ethereal kind of way but still. His breath faltered and his eyes grew wide.

"Need a little help there Logan." I say very adamantly. He wasn't saying anything just staring at me like a wide-eyed wonder. I had to snap my fingers for him to finally say something.

"Oh....uh...Yeah...uh...Thanks...B...B...Brendan," he stuttered as he his rosy cheeks had a tinge of red. It was actually kinda, KINDA, adorable. I think the cheap plastic bag on my hair is getting to my head.

His mother came to help us out and told Logan they were leaving and she looked at me kind of weird. It gave me this really bad vibe, no doubt.

"Hey, Logan," he looked at me totally disheveled and it made me feel self-conscious. Here is a kid who probably has nothing to his name and here I am bitching just because I came to do a few hours of community service. I wanted to kick myself in the ass.

"Don't worry about anything Logan; I am not going to tell Steven, or anyone else for that matter about this, as long as you make sure you don't tell anyone I was here." Was that supposed to make him feel better or mock him into a pity trip?

LOGAN

The weekend was out of the ordinary. I worked overtime at the Chinese Restaurant and I finished all the homework and chores around the house.

There was something that kept hitting my mind.

Yeah, it was Brendan; I couldn't stop thinking about him and the embarrassing encounter at the center. Jacking off to him was out of the ordinary too, the little statement he said before I left was recorded into my subconscious, and it made me cum every time.

The negative aspects warped around my mind too. He said he wasn't going to tell anyone about this. Still, all that was needed was a question of why you didn't you hang with us to telling his cronies why and telling them about me and laugh it off; give a tantrum about why he hates his parents and then hell on Earth starts for me.

My mind was all wrapped around the thought that the thirty minute walk from the bus stop to the school wasn't as cold as I thought it would be. The sweat and the tension mostly helped my wrinkled, dingy jacket tamper the sheer cold.

The streets were filled with cars full of teens

and teachers trying to reach the school. I didn't really care but sometimes I wished someone could give me a ride there. Not asking for much, but going there for four years now and seeing mostly the same cars with people pass by me each day can get a little disheartening. Like nobody gives a damn about you. This treatment though, is better than what my old school had to offer.

I finally reached the school grounds, my nervousness was off the roof. I keep telling myself that I have to honor Brendan's words.

I glanced at Brendan walking to the entrance with his buddies and his girlfriend Audrey. 'Well it was too good to be true Hoekstra, he's back to his life, no way in hell that he would care or even waste his good voice on you' I mentally told myself. I sighed and prayed the day would go by as fast as possible so I wouldn't be caught dead or worse on the pity list of everyone bringing me stale cans of food as a gesture to help out my starving family.

I had last period AP World Religion with him. I couldn't for the life of me pay attention to Ms. Kurtz's lecture on the Holy Wars. No, the only war I was a part of right now where my untrustworthy eyes to take a peek at Brendan and Ms. Audrey sitting next to each other, her head on his shoulder while they were taking notes.

The constant affection those two gave each other had I jealous, angry, lonely, and tired all mixed in one. Tiredness conquered all when the bell rang and my one hour trek to my house started all over again. Audrey gave Brendan a kiss to die for and walked towards her friends, volleyball practice I suppose. The kiss lasted longer than I thought because I was gone by time she reached for his round ass.

The snow and wind chill got stronger up. I cursed the climate, zipped my pathetic jacket, and went my way to the bus stop. A normal school day in the life of Logan!

BRENDAN

After I was done helping out at the community center, I spent the rest of my weekend hanging out with my friends. Going to the mall, going to the latest bad party at my house while my parents are at a committee in Kalamazoo, you know same ole same ole.

My mind was warped around one sweet, poor, exceptionally special guy...Logan. Whenever I see Audrey's green eyes, it flashes to Logan's green eyes. Even though they looked tired and worn out, he had really big beautiful eyes. Whenever I touched her hair, I would envision how it would be like to touch his hair. His silky, smooth, and golden hair, with the little curls at the ends of it says it all.

I then thought of his mom and little brother and how it must be for them. They are obviously dirt poor and the thought just sickens me. I made a pathetic excuse to go to the bathroom only to see if I could scope out Logan. 'You idiot, like you really think Logan out of all people would come to a lavish party like yours. He's probably homeless for all you know.' Damn, why did they make me go to that damn place?

I splashed water all over my face, why am I still thinking about the guy. This guy that I haven't had a decent conversation with in all my life has me so worked up. I turned on the faucet and splashed some water on myself.

I looked at my reflection for a good minute. My ocean blue eyes staring back at me. I glanced at my left hand, the same left hand Logan shook, like a true gentleman he shook my hand. Not like the assholes I hang out with....

In the end, like always, the party ended like sometime in the morning, got a massive hangover on Sunday and still had time to go the mall and the movies.

At school, I gave them my community service hours (still twenty more hours). I was feeling worn out and didn't feel like going to the Cabinet after school. I tried to find Logan, but to no avail. I only have one class with him and that class I also have with Audrey. I wanted to talk to Logan, have a decent conversation with him, and try to see how he actually is without him being embarrassed or tense.

My chance to finally talk to him was achieved. After giving a very affectionate kiss to Audrey I followed Logan out to the school parking lot. I was heartbroken when I realized he wasn't going to a vehicle but walking to the street, either walking home or going to a bus. I realized he was going walking, in the bitter cold, in a jacket that had seen better days.

"Hey, coming to the Cabinet meeting," yelled out Maya Michonksi, the class vice president. With that I stared at the direction Logan took. He was long gone by now and I was back to my world.