I stepped off the bus and stood in front of the hospital. I bundled up my coat, tugging the zipper up all the way. I looked at my watch. I still had nearly an hour before my shift started.
I looked across the street at St. Ann's church and decided to stop in and say a little prayer for my grandmother. I wrapped my arms around myself as I ran across the street. I pushed through the doors. As entered, I dipped my finger in the stoup and made the sign of the cross. I moved to the middle of the church, genuflected and sat down at the end of a pew. I knelt down and clasped my hands and closed my eyes.
I said a little prayer for my grandmother, my mother's mother. She raised me from the time I was a baby. My mom had me when she was a teenager. She then ran off with some man and left me. We never heard from her again. Grandma and Grandpa were the only parents I ever knew. Grandpa had a heart attack when I was 10. Grandma took care of me up until she died six months ago. I know people think it's weird that a 28 year old man lived with his grandmother, but I didn't really care. She was there for me while I was growing up. I stayed with her and when she got sick, I was glad that I did. I got to spend a lot of time with her that I would have otherwise missed out on.
After she died, I moved into my own apartment, a small one bedroom apartment in a brownstone downtown. It's kind of old and run down, but it's mine. We never had money growing up, but we always made do.
I took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my eyes. I crossed my arms on the pew in front of me and laid my head down.
"Paul?"
I looked up at Father Ron and smiled warmly. "Hello, Father."
Father Ron was a kind old man. He had graying hair and little bit of a pot belly. He nodded his head towards the pew. I scooted over and let Father sit next to me.
"I missed you last Sunday," he said.
"I know. I worked a double shift last Saturday and I was really tired. I'm trying to get moved to the day shift, though. There's no need for me to be home during the day anymore..."
I looked down at my hands and my thoughts drifted to my grandmother's last days. Father Ron patted my knee.
"Have faith, my son."
"Thank you, Father. I'd better get to work."
I got up and left the church, making my way back across the street to the hospital. I made my way up to the hospice ward. I put my coat into my locker in the employee lounge. I looked at myself in the mirror and straightened up my scrub top. I was wearing my blue scrubs today, with a white long-sleeved t-shirt underneath my top.
I admired myself for a moment. I had short brown hair, which naturally stuck up all over the place. I had a trimmed goatee on my chin. My eyes were a hazel color. I had a nice build for my height. I was 5'10" and had strong muscle definition without looking overly muscular. I worked out regularly in the hospital's physical therapy center. It was one of the perks of working here. It also was one of the ways I occupied my time.
"Hi, Paul."
I looked up to see Doctor Brooks enter the lounge. He put his winter coat in his locker and hung his stethoscope around the back of his neck and slipped on his white doctor's coat.
"Ready for a long night?" he asked.
"As ready as I can be," I said with a sheepish smile.
Dr. Brooks was a one of doctors who worked this floor. He was a little older than me. His graying temples gave him a very distinguished appearance. He was very handsome and he was always friendly and smiling. When I look at him, I feel those tingly feelings in the pit of my stomach that I try so hard to suppress.
Dr. Brooks poured himself a cup of coffee.
"Would you like a coffee, Paul? My treat."
I chuckled. "As generous as that is, I'll pass."
"Your loss. This is good stuff."
He tried to keep a straight face, but he started laughing and I laughed with him.
One of my fellow nurses, Patrick walked in and headed straight for the coffee and poured himself a cup.
"Hi, Dr. Brooks," Patrick said with a big grin.
"Patrick. How are you today?"
"Tired. Have you been working out? You look really good."
Patrick ran his hand over Dr. Brooks's bicep. I couldn't believe how openly he was flirting with Dr. Brooks. I felt a tinge of jealousy and I quickly tamped it down. I headed towards the door and Patrick was a bit startled as I walked past.
"Oh, hey, Paul. I didn't see you there."
"Hi, Patrick," I said with a forced smile.
I made my way to the nursing station and checked in with my supervisor, Nurse Evelyn.
"Hi, Paul. Can you get started on your med rounds? Thanks."
"Of course, Evelyn."
I grabbed a cart and got everything ready. It took me about thirty minutes to prepare everyone's medications. I then proceeded to my rounds. After I finished, I put my cart away and headed towards the nursing station.
"Paul," Evelyn called out. "Benny's pulled his foley again. Can you help out please?"
"Sure..."
I sighed and went and grabbed another foley catheter kit and made my way down the hall to Benny's room. Benny was one of our older patients. He was a sweet old man, but he did not want to be here. I sighed as I entered the room. One of the orderlies was cleaning up what looked like a large pool of urine.
As I approached him, a cold shiver ran down my spine. The orderly slowly stood upright and turned and faced me. I had never seen him before. I would have remembered. He was tall and muscular. I would guess him to be 6'5" and maybe 220 solid pounds. He had short spiky hair, dark brown with a tinge of red. His bristly beard stubble was the same color as his hair. He was handsome in a classic way, but there was something about him that was unsettling. It was his eyes. They were very light colored, an icy blue.
My eyes drifted to the name tag attached to his white uniform.
Ezekiel
.
I averted my eyes from him and mumbled, "Hi" as I walked past him.
I went around to the other side of the bed where Benny was fidgeting.
"Benny. You know better than this," I scolded.
"Don't like it," he grumbled.
"I know you don't."
I pulled on a pair of latex gloves and got a sponge and tub. I hiked up his gown and cleaned his groin area. I inserted the catheter into his penis and waited for the urine to start draining.
"Okay, Benny. Don't pull this out. Please."
"Bah," Benny muttered as he dismissed me with his hand.
I smiled at him, but my smile faded as I realized that Ezekiel was looking at me. I pulled off the latex gloves and disposed of them and walked past the giant orderly. He grabbed my arm and I felt a cold shock. I snatched my arm away and drew in a sharp breath.
"I'm Zeke," he said.
"I'm Paul. Nice to meet you," I said without looking him in the eye.
He took my right hand and shook it, while covering my hand with his left hand. His hand felt hot and clammy. I tugged back my hand until he finally let go. He chuckled at my obvious discomfort. His laugh sounded mocking to my ears. I hurried from the room and got back to work.
Later that night I was standing at the nursing station when Patrick came up next to me. He flipped through some charts and then let out a small gasp. He nudged me with his elbow. "Who's that?" he whispered.
I turned in the direction of his gaze and a shudder went through me. "That's the new orderly. Zeke."
As I added "He's creepy," Patrick said "He's hot."
Patrick looked at me like I was crazy and said, "If you don't want him, I'll take him."
I watched Patrick walk up to Zeke and start flirting. I shook my head and turned around and got back to work.
As my shift wound down, Evelyn asked me to help Dr. Brooks in room 504. I went down the hall and found Dr. Brooks at Mrs. Fletcher's bedside. Mrs. Fletcher is one our oldest patients. She's very quiet and never fusses.
"How's that, Mrs. Fletcher?" Dr. Brooks asked her.
She smiled as she always does. Dr. Brooks and I both smiled back. I felt a cold shiver run down my spine and I looked up to see Zeke walk in. His eyes made contact with me and I quickly looked away. He started changing the sheets in the other bed.
Mrs. Fletcher shifted uncomfortably, then quickly became agitated.
"What's wrong, Mrs. Fletcher?" I asked as I took her hand.
She pulled her hand away from me. Her eyes widened in terror and she screamed "No!"
Dr. Brooks and I tried to calm her down, but she got more and more out of control. She began crying uncontrollably. Dr. Brooks tried to hold her down, but she swung her hands at him, knocking him in the eye.
I noticed that while all of this was going on Zeke was still making the bed, not paying us any attention, as if there was nothing going on at all behind him.
"Paul, get me two milligrams of midazolam. Now!"
I snapped back to what I was doing and ran and got the sedative for Dr. Brooks.
When I came back in with the sedative, Dr. Brooks called out to Zeke. "You! Don't just stand there. Help me."
As Zeke turned and approached, Mrs. Fletcher shrieked. She looked absolutely terrified and she tried to sit up and crawl back away from him. I injected the sedative into the IV line. After about a moment, she finally calmed down and closed her eyes. Zeke turned around and calmly walked out of the room. Dr. Brooks checked Mrs. Fletcher's vitals and examined her. She had calmed down, but she was moaning and shaking her head as if she was having a bad dream.
Dr. Brooks squeezed my shoulder and thanked me for my help. I nodded and moved away from his hand. As I left the room, I gave him a little smile.
My shift ended and I grabbed my coat and headed down to the bus stop.
When I got home, I unlocked the outside door to my brownstone and I pushed open the door. I hiked up the flight of stairs to my apartment. I unlocked the door and turned on the light. I bolted the door behind me and kicked off my sneakers. I took a quick shower and then pulled on a pair of pajama pants. I made my way to the kitchen and then made a turkey and cheese sandwich. I sat down on the couch in the living room and sighed.
I took a bite of my sandwich and looked around the apartment. The one bedroom apartment was tiny, but it was home. Sure, it gets lonely sometimes, but I wouldn't trade my life for anything.
***
Over the next few days, I managed to avoid direct contact with Zeke. Whenever he was nearby, I felt really uncomfortable.
One quiet night I was checking on one of the coma patients, Mr. Leonard. There was no change. Same as the past six months.
I suddenly felt a chill and I snapped my head up. Zeke was standing in the doorway. His massive frame blocked out the light from the hallway. My heart was pounding in my ears and I took a step back. Without a word, he turned and walked away.
Later that night, I was walking through an empty hallway, heading back to the nursing station. As I turned the corner, I saw a man walking down the hall. His hospital gown was untied and his bare backside was exposed for the world to see. I hurried down the hall after him. He pushed open the doorway to the stairwell, and he turned and looked back at me with an empty expression on his face. I instantly recognized him as the coma patient, Mr. Leonard. I was shocked that not only was he was awake, but he was out of bed and walking.