Grace and Favour

I wouldn't say my son Callum was a disappointment, more that we didn't have much in common. Physically, we were poles apart. I'm a big guy, 6'5", with a hefty build and more muscle than fat. I make my living in scrap metal with a yard in East London and two used motor dealerships in Seven Kings and Ilford, Essex. It's a hard world full of dubious characters. I should know. I'm one of them.

Callum was a tiny boy, a small teenager, and, at 19, a slightly taller man. He put on a few inches at 15 and now topped out at 5'8". I'd take that over what might have been. He was bookish, clever and quiet. And yes, this is a long way of saying he is gay.

My wife of 22 years was Gwen. Blonde, bubbly, busty and 5'1. Our relationship was traditional, she deferred to me as her husband, and when I fuck up, she bollocks me. Defer didn't mean passive or a doormat. One oddity of our relationship, if oddity is the right word, our sex life was banging. She loved sex, I loved sex, and we loved having sex with each other. And, on occasion, other people. We weren't swingers. Our dalliances were independent of each other and rarely coincided. It was like we instinctively knew the other was 'playing', so the other played it straight.

Our daughter, Cynthia, was 22 (do the math) and at Edinburgh University. She was the opposite of Callum in personality. She was also bright, a redhead and a looker like her mum, and tall--she was a fraction taller than her brother. Callum inherited his dark, floppy hair from me, and that was about it.

Gwen defended Callum like a tigress. Any unnecessary comment, a tasteless gay joke and boy, did I get it in the neck. Fiercely protective didn't do her justice. Cynthia, too, looked out for Callum, and I did in my undemonstrative, clueless way. But we weren't close, and that was as much my fault as anyone's, or as Gwen put it, it was all my fucking fault.

I'll be honest. I'm not great at noticing things are off. Usually, I rely on Gwen or Cynthia to tell me. This time, it was Gwen.

"Jack, first off, don't start storming around."

Okay, I'm going to be storming.

"Callum is going through something, and it's upset him. He is being abused."

I guessed it wasn't by two hot blondes with huge tits. Still, fingers crossed.

"There are these two men." I uncrossed my fingers. "Both older, and they have shot compromising videos of Callum."

"Coerced?"

Gwen shook her head. "No, it was consensual. Silly, but he's only a boy, and we all do foolish things."

"And now they are using the videos to coerce him?"

"Yes."

"To do what? Callum's best mate is Jonny, and he's gay; I mean, everyone knows he's gay, and if this arsehole puts out a sex tape, well, it's embarrassing at best, I guess."

"It depends on who they are threatening to send the tape to."

"Yeah, maybe, but I'm struggling to think of anyone who will give a shit."

"It's you, dear."

"Me?"

"It would destroy Callum if you saw or knew about it. Cynthia, you would be mad, but it's sex, and you're relaxed about these things. She would be embarrassed but defiant. But Callum is different. He knows that you don't approve of him or his lifestyle. He's lived with that for years. He knows he's not what you want in a son."

"I've never said anything to him!"

"Exactly!"

I didn't argue. I never win. "So, why are you telling me if Callum would be upset if I knew about it, and how do you get involved?"

"I saw Callum was hurting and upset, and he confided in me. He desperately wanted you to be kept out of this, so I spoke to the lads."

"And?"

"They said they would swap Callum's sex tape for one of me."

I knew Gwen, her history and the lengths she would go.

"I agreed." Her chin jutted out defiantly. "Blow job only."

"And they reneged."

"Yes."

"So, if I'm keeping track here, they had one sex tape, and now they have two sex tapes." Gwen did have a knack for complicating matters. And for the record, I didn't give a shit about her tape or Callum's.

"I don't care about mine. I'm just annoyed that I was stupid and gullible. It's hardly my first sex tape, or ours for that matter!"

True. It wouldn't be the first involving other people, either. "No. But they were done as a laugh, for fun. I'm not having some low life disrespecting my wife."

"Or upsetting Callum."

"That goes without saying." Gwen gave me a look, but she was on shaky ground, so she held her tongue. "Anyway, now you're involving me. How is Callum taking that?"

"It was his idea. He is now more upset on my behalf! He wants his father to protect his mother, no matter the consequences to him."

That impressed me. It was the right thing to do. You don't knock people for doing the right thing. Gwen knew me well enough to know this, but Callum probably didn't--my fault.

"Jack. No bodies in the Thames."

I grunted. Fuckers should be so lucky.

Chapter Two

They were two chancers from Liverpool living out of a studio flat in Bayswater. They weren't keen on letting me in until I said I was Callum's Dad and Gwen's husband, and they buzzed me up. They had the goods and figured I was there to bargain. They smelt payday.

They were tasty-looking--one white, one mixed race--smooth and nasty. I wondered which one Gwen had blown.

"Lost your wife again?" the white one grinned.

I smacked him. I was wearing brass knuckles, so it had to hurt--bone, teeth, maybe both. I wasn't sure and didn't care. A razor pressed to his throat gave the other half of the dynamic duo valuable thinking time to assess his options.

"You can have the videos we shot, man!"

"Obliged. Like you don't have copies stashed."

"I swear, film card and memory stick! No backups."

"Where?"

"Desk drawer." He flicked his head to the unit in the corner.

I sent him sprawling towards it and pulled open the drawers. Film cards and memory sticks were neatly filed. They even had names on them. Guys were organised. I took what was mine.

"Your pal needs to watch his mouth in future," I said.

"Just a bit of fun, man. Callum was up for it, then backed off. Just wanted to set him straight."

I was pretty sure nothing was setting Callum straight. I kept that to myself.

"Just a bit of fun, huh? Well, I don't hear you laughing, and I certainly ain't." I flipped back the razor. "I strongly advise you boys to fuck off back to Scouse land. My wife says I had to be gentle, so I was. Next time, they'll be fishing bits of you out of the fucking Thames." I booted mixed-race boy in the ribs and left.

Later, I got word they had fucked off back to the frozen north within the week.

I tossed the memory stick and card into the front seat of my Jaguar and pulled out a mini laptop. I would give Gwen her video later and claim my reward--hell, we would probably watch it. Gwen, I suspected, was titillated by the idea of saving her boy and indulging in a sordid blow job. If I had to guess, she wouldn't have chosen white boy. She was a great woman, but the morals of an alley cat--peas in a pod, me and Gwen.

There were several files on the stick, labelled Callum's mum, Callum, Femboy, sissy boy and twink(le) ass. I assumed that was some gay joke. I hesitated. Did I really want to see this? The answer was yes. Prurient curiosity or plain old sick bastard? Both, I guess.

I pressed the Callum file and was presented with an image of Callum I never saw. He was smiling, happy. Eyes shining, hair in a headband, and, I think, a trace of make-up. A cock appeared. White boy. Nothing special, but Callum's eyes went wide, and he kissed the cock with a seductive giggle.

"You gonna suck for the camera, Cali? We're gonna make a star out of you."

"Promises, promises." Callum's voice was a slightly higher pitch, with more arch than I usually heard. I guessed he butched up in my presence or femmed up here. He seemed more natural in the video.

Callum was soon sucking on that dick. I went forward. Now he was on all fours spreading his cum splattered arse. I figured I had skipped past the main event. Then the mixed-race boy appeared and stabbed his cock home. Second round, ding, ding. He was carrying more heat, and Callum was soon whimpering like a bitch. The camera cut to his face. It was a picture of eye-rolling pleasure as he begged to be fucked, to be pimped, basically to be used as they saw fit. I guess he changed his mind afterwards.

It wasn't all one-way traffic. Callum was getting sucked off by white boy, and I noticed with some familial pride that Callum was sporting a reasonable package.

"Way to go, Callum!" I chuckled to myself. I skipped through more files, all showcasing Callum sucking and fucking, and generally have a whale of a time. Shame for him that it all went south.

My impressions were mixed. First was surprise at seeing the real Callum, rather than the timid, barely saying-a-word Callum that I was used to. I repressed the boy. Not knowingly, but I did, and it reflected poorly on me. This Callum in between the sex was sparkly, alive, good fun and sweet. I never saw him like that or encourage it. My other overriding impression was that Callum had a slender, sexy body and that I reacted to it in a non-fatherly manner.

Chapter Three

On some level, it was not a huge surprise. I got a hard-on seeing my son getting tapped by the two lads. I like porn, I like sex, and while never going for gay porn, I liked watching dudes fucking the shit out of sexy girls, including on one occasion my wife, when a party got out of hand with the drink and the coke. My son wasn't a girl, but he was damn cute.

I showed Gwen the fruits of the deed she had set her gallant Knight. Her response was: "You know these two arseholes will have more than one copy, right?"

"Yes, but what the fuck do we care? I put the manners on them; they are very sorry and will be good boys on pain of a very nasty demise."

Gwen smiled. What she wanted more than the tapes was retribution. "Good!" she paused. "Did you watch?"

"No, figured you can give me a blow-by-blow account when we watch it later and then I can smack your arse for being a wicked wife."

She giggled. "Sounds fun!"

I waited for the follow-up question, but it didn't come. "I watched Callum's, though."

That surprised her. "Oh my God, why, Jack? The whole idea was for you not to watch!"

"Curious, I guess."

"It's just who he is, Jack. We have to accept it."

"I do."

"No, you don't. You both put up barriers. Callum because he is hurt, and you because you are an insensitive arsehole!"

I guessed my good deed points had expired. "I agree."

"There you go!" She paused. "Agree what?"

"That I have built a wall between us. Yeah, I kind of accept he is gay, but I judge him, too, and that was wrong of me. I liked the Callum I saw. Fun, happy. Cute butt," I added with a grin.

"Jack! You can't say that; he's our son!"

"Still has a cute butt, though."

"Yes, well." Gwen flushed a little.

I told you I knew my wife.

"And you've watched his videos," I said.

"Only to verify they were being straight with me! They were making demands; I needed to make sure I wasn't being tricked!"

Yeah, and how long did that take? Five minutes and then you slobbered over the first cock in your face. I was smiling broadly, and Gwen knew exactly what I was thinking. To her credit, she didn't deny it. "I think enough has been said on the subject. Thank you for coming to our rescue, kind sir."

"You are most welcome, fair damsel."

"Perhaps I should thank you most properly,"

That's right, distract me with sex. To be fair, it always worked. I unzipped my pants and pulled out 9 inches of Jack Hardin grace and favour.

Gwen's hands flew to her face. "Why, sir! What is a lady to do with that?"

"She can get on her knees and suck it like the fucking trollop she is!" I growled.

****

I was dozing contentedly when Callum arrived home. Gwen slapped me awake. "He's here. He's been a bag of nerves. Now go and assure our son that everything is fine and we all love him!"

"Now?"

"Yes, now!"

"Okay, okay, woman. Can't a man rest his weary bones in peace anymore?"

"Your bones will be resting permanently if you don't make things right with Callum!"

I ambled up to Callum's room. Some god-awful music was playing. I knocked and waited. The door opened a fraction, and two big eyes looked up at me.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

He opened the door, and I entered. It was a typical teen dwelling, except it was immaculately tidy, and his study books were filed alphabetically. The walls were adorned with music gig posters and half-naked boys--mostly Asian. "Okay, if I sit?"

He nodded again. I took the desk chair, and he took the bed.

"It occurs to me, or at least it occurred to your mother, that I've been an insensitive arsehole."

A faint smile at this. "No, you're a great Dad. Better than most."

"Well, I'll take it, but tell your mother, huh? I could do with the points."

"She thinks you're a great Dad too."

"Yeah, well. Thing is, son, I love you and--" I didn't get any further as the floodgates opened. I scooted over to Callum's side. "Hey, it's okay." I was more concerned Gwen would hear him crying and march in with a meat cleaver. I put my arm around him and held him tight. It seemed to do the trick.

"Mum messaged me and said you had sorted out those arseholes. I'm sorry I put Mum through that, and you had to clear my mess." He finally sniffed.

"It's my job, and your Mum can take her share of the blame."

"No! I was horrified by what they made her do for me! It was horrible! She is such a good woman and mother."

Gwen's motivation hadn't been entirely altruistic, but it mostly was, so I didn't argue. "Anyway, here's the memory stick with your--er--misdeeds on them."

Callum stared at the memory stick and then at me. "Thanks." I could see the question forming in his head before it scurried away. I didn't tell him I watched him in action. Kid was traumatised enough. He took the stick and held it tight. An awkward moment descended. What would Gwen say? Cute butt was probably out.

"I'll get out of your hair in a minute, but you don't have to hide around me or in this house. Be yourself. Be you. I like you." I smiled and then froze as the waterworks started again. He cried for a good five minutes, and I sat there like a lemon, holding him.

He got up, fetched a tissue from his desk drawer, and blew his nose. I stood, figuring it was time to leave.

"Dad, you're the best!" And with that, he flung his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek.

It was my turn to be flustered. "I try to be and remember what I said about being yourself."

"I will, I really will, Dad." He wiped his eyes again, and I made my exit.

"Well?" Gwen asked, anxiety wringing her face.

"I fucking nailed it!" I grinned. I was pleased with myself. Who said I couldn't do feelings?

"Really?"

"Yeah, really! We had a great chat. He cried a little, but you know, a good cry, like you do sometimes, not that it's a girly thing--"

"Shut up, Jack. You're ahead, don't ruin it."

I shut up. "I gave Callum the memory stick, and no, I didn't say I watched it!"

"The stick? You mean the one that also had my misdeeds on it?" she said sweetly.

Fuck! "I'll be right back, babe!" I called out as I bounded up the stairs.

Chapter Four

I didn't pay much heed after that, but it eventually dawned on me that Callum had taken my words to heart. It was like seeing a flower slowly bloom. Footwear was the first thing I noticed when all three of us were watching TV. He and Gwen were sitting together, their feet on the stool. Callum was wearing sandals or slippers with a furry strap and a block heel. His toenails were painted a dark red colour, his fingers, too.

Gwen noticed me looking and nudged Callum. He reddened a little, and then Gwen said: "What do you think of Callum's nail polish, Jack?"

I was at a loss for words, and then I realised I should answer if it were Gwen. Positively. "Looking good, son, very--er--sexy."

Callum reddened even more, but his look of delight was heartening. I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"I told you your Dad would like them, dear," said Gwen.

"Thanks, Dad."

"No worries, son. No worries." Duty done, I relaxed.

Next to go were the long, baggy t-shirts Callum habitually wore around the house. He began to reveal himself, like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. Tighter tops and tighter shorts. How they weren't hurting his balls was a mystery. Maybe he liked it, and I admit I enjoyed looking. He had a great arse, peachy and firm, ripe for squeezing. He had lovely long legs, and his belly button piercing was now on show.

I hadn't noticed the piercing before and asked him about it at breakfast.

"Had it for a year now. Do you think it looks cute?"

"Very cute."

He put his arm around me and kissed me as I sat at the table. The kisses were getting more frequent. "I could get used to all this kissing!" I joked. "What with you and your mum."

"Good! Because I love kissing you, Daddy!" To prove it, he kissed me again, this time on the lips, and then, with an impish smile, he disappeared upstairs.

"So, you're Daddy, now?" Gwen remarked, having caught the last interaction.

"Yeah, I guess." I hadn't realised being a little preoccupied with the kiss.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Sorry?"

"The kiss."

I shrugged. "It was okay."

"Don't give me that, Jack Hardin! The look on your face said it all. You enjoyed Callum kissing you!"

Gwen's face was alive with mischief. And then it clicked. "You've been encouraging him, haven't you, woman?"

"I've been encouraging him to express himself around the house. It's a safe space. You've been doing the same!"

It sometimes took a while for me to catch on to my wife's little schemes, but once I caught on, she was easy to read. "You love it! Callum dangling his sweet ass in front of me! The kissing and 'Daddy'. You reckon I'm going to take him to bed and tap his ass?" I was grinning. I also had a boner.

"Jack!"

I cut short the horrified routine. "Save it, babe. I know you, and you love all that gay erotica. Nothing hotter than two hot guys getting it on, according to you."

"Okay!" she lowered her voice. "It is hot watching him flirt with you."

"Well, I wouldn't call it flirting."

"Of course, he's flirting!"

"I'm his Dad."

"And he adores you! Add in the fact he's a teenage boy, and he'll pretty much fuck anything, especially his hot Dad."

"We're just playthings for you, aren't we?" I shook my head in mock sorrow.

"Oh, you can stow it too! You'd be in there if he offered it up!"

"Except I'm not gay."

"No, but you're curious, aren't you? Not to mention you'd fuck anything with a heartbeat."

I stood up and closed the kitchen door. "Yeah, okay, I'd have his sweet ass, but only if he wants to and offered it up. Happy now?"

Gwen giggled. "My two lovely boys in a hot, steamy embrace."

"Very fucking funny. But this ain't a laughing matter. How would you feel if it happened?"

"Jack. I'd rather this and have you two hunkered behind your walls and being miserable. He's nineteen, wants love in his life, and wants a Daddy figure. Who better than his actual Daddy?"

****

Once the idea was in my head, I couldn't shake it. When we settled down and watched TV for the evening, Callum and I began sharing the sofa. He would lean his head against my shoulder, and I would put my arm around him.

Gwen kept half an eye on us and half an eye on the TV. I asked Callum if he wouldn't prefer to be out with friends at a gay bar or wherever gay teenagers hang out. He said he was in the middle of his studies and preferred to be at home.

"Always happy to have you with us, Callum," I would reply, and he hugged and kissed me. Usually playful, sometimes a tad more significant. We were both enjoying the tease, and maybe it would, maybe it should, have stopped there. But it didn't.