Gorilla and the Metalhead

Gorilla texted Carlos late that night. He'd successfully delivered his consignment to a warehouse in Miami. Job done. Eleven hours at the wheel. He'd checked in to a cheap, shitty motel; company expense. He'd eaten dinner at the nearby roadhouse and was ready for sleep. At least he had tomorrow off, so he could sleep in and briefly explore the sights and sounds of Miami, but he was back on a run the following day.

Carlos had heard Gorilla say 'text you tonight' at sunrise before they parted, but he had no expectation of hearing from him that night. Or ever again, really. He was surprised when his phone pinged with a message from him.

Gorilla: Fuck man how u doin I'm so fkn tired 2nite

Carlos: Wow didn't expect to hear from u I slept all day but I'm wide awake now where are u

Gorilla: Somewhere in Miami fuck it's hot here but tell me why didn't you expect to hear from me tonite

Carlos: I can imagine the heat ... yeah I don't know why I didn't, but prob because it was awkward and tense for a minute or two between us this morning ... can I be honest I wanted to punch you in the throat for a second, but I'm really glad you texted, great to hear from u

Gorilla: I've rarely made a man so angry

Carlos: dude, when you stick your dick in my ass repeatedly and all i ask for as we say goodbye is a hug, and you offer me a handshake instead, damn right I'm gonna be angry ... in that moment i felt like i was worth nothing to you

Gorilla: yeah I get it, it was weird, I'm always leaving awkward shit until the last possible minute which means things can get explosive ... I got serious stuff I'd like to talk to you about if you'll listen if we meet up again ... but meanwhile I got the shittiest motel room in the entire state right now

Carlos: Describe? Worse than the ATL Sleep Inn? If so, that's pretty terrible, your company must think the world of u

Gorilla: I'm trying to sleep under a fuckin' mosquito net rn I swear I'm gonna get malaria 2mrw

Carlos: Yeah ok that's totally fucked ... is there a ceiling fan?

Gorilla: Yeah there is, so that's good ... might help keep the bugs away ... and I got tomorrow off

Carlos: U gonna check out those sexy cuban dudes 2morrow hey

Gorilla: Heh fk no still way too tired

Carlos: (pout emoji) bullshit go get yourself some hot latin boipussy

Gorilla: yeah maybe but you coaxed so many loads out of me lately I may never recover

Carlos: (sunglasses emoji) please, tell me all about that ...

Gorilla: i may never bate again

Carlos: no

Gorilla: i think you killed my dick, it's dead

Carlos: bullshit go get your face inside some of those fat cuban asses

There was a pause. A long pause. You know the kind of pause I mean. You're rapid-fire texting/sexting someone, and suddenly there's a lull at the other end. You fear it might turn into a break. Is your correspondent pausing to think before responding? Or is he distracted? Has he answered an unexpected knock at the door? Has he gone to the bathroom? Or worst of all, is he talking to someone else?

Gorilla: yeah maybe

Carlos: i'm gonna let you go, I guess ur tired after ur haul but awesome to hear from you, maybe go get some shuteye

Gorilla: yeah u 2

Carlos: night dude

There was nothing in response. Carlos assumed Gorilla had turned his phone off for the night.

*

Carlos had a shitty day job. Music wasn't a career yet, and to be honest, he and his bandmates had probably sunk way more money into the band so far than they'd gotten back out of it. He needed a job not only to pay the rent, but to contribute cash to the band. He knew this was how it went for new bands when they're trying to get a foothold in the music industry, particularly when it came to genres like metal. Bands need to constantly be in people's faces if they're ever to be discovered, but keeping a band on the road, in a rehearsal room or in a studio isn't easy or cheap. He'd called in sick from work these past few days while he was holed up in a motel with Gorilla, but he knew he couldn't call in sick forever.

He put in an appearance at the office the next morning. Luckily, his boss was lenient about his recent absences -- probably because all his boss wanted to do was to get his tongue inside Carlos's tight jeans and around his hairy nutsack. Carlos spent eight hours doing what he needed to do at the office to get paid, then headed home. He bought some takeout on the way home, unlocked the door to his apartment, flopped onto the couch and flipped on the TV.

Back to the drudgery of reality. He had nothing to do tonight. Band practice was a couple more nights away. His plan for tonight was to tidy up a little, wash some clothes, sink a few beers and catch up on some TV he'd missed.

His phone pinged. There was a message from Gorilla.

Gorilla: Hey how was your day

Carlos: fucking brutal, went back to work today what about u

Gorilla: I got romantic with a mosquito net last night, nearly impregnated it ... hey i didn't know you had a day job

Carlos: Yeah music doesn't pay the bills just yet

Gorilla: What's your line of work

Carlos: "work" is a very loose term ... I go into an office and sit at a desk for eight hours pretending to do stuff while I tease my boss who desperately wants me to fuck him

Gorilla: I wish I was ur boss

Carlos: when it comes to sex maybe u already are

Gorilla: your performance reviews would be something else

Carlos: what targets would you set for my performance

Gorilla: hmmm I'm gonna have to put some thought into that

Carlos: might be difficult if I'm performing while you're at the wheel of your truck

Gorilla: yeah you can't be down there under the wheel while I'm pumping the pedals, there are safety issues

Carlos: maybe I could pump something else for u

Gorilla: I bet you could ... and one of the most important parts of running a truck is lubrication

Carlos: I'm sure I could lubricate your tools

There was a pause in proceedings. A long pause. Carlos wondered whether he'd said something wrong.

Gorilla: you wanna see some wide open road

Carlos: you inviting me on a road trip

Gorilla: yeah maybe

Carlos: when are you next in ATL

Gorilla: not sure yet

Carlos: where r u now

Gorilla: under a mosquito net in miami I thought we already covered this

Carlos: i mean are you out in the city somewhere or are you inside your room

Gorilla: i'm in my motel room right now

Carlos: you didn't go out 2nite

Gorilla: nah rested up today, long drive yesterday, it annihilated me ... I can see the pool from here and there's a sexy dude swimming laps so at least the local nightlife is keeping me entertained

Carlos: man you should go down there and swim with him, see what happens

Gorilla: nah, got another drive in the morning

Carlos: *pout* ... u get some dinner?

Gorilla: Yeah really cool place not far from here ... chili chicken ... food was spicy, but wait staff were spicier

Carlos: mmm tell me

Gorilla: there was one dude looked like u

Carlos: maybe it *was* me

Gorilla: long hair, skinny as fuck, looked Mexican, sweet juicy ass ... definitely would've fucked him ... I think he was str8 though, I got no signals

Carlos: maybe he was shy

Gorilla: didn't seem shy ... but not many guys are into chubby truckers

Carlos: less competition for me then

Gorilla sent the eggplant emoji, followed by the splash emoji.

They were both really enjoying themselves, which was a surprise to them both given the volatile way they parted yesterday morning. It'd been ages since either had had a flirty text chat with someone they were sexually into. Carlos didn't seriously think he'd ever hear from Gorilla again. Or, if he did, it'd be when Gorilla's truck rumbled into Atlanta and he was on the prowl for someone easy to fuck. The last thing Carlos expected, especially after the awkwardness of their parting yesterday morning, was to hear from Gorilla while he was on the road, interstate.

Gorilla: you play your axe today

Carlos: nah it isn't here, i haven't picked it up yet after the last gig

Gorilla: shame would've been hot to hear some riffs

Carlos: could bring it on the road with you and serenade you at night with metal

Gorilla: nothing would get my cock harder

Carlos: I think I know something that would get you even harder than that

Gorilla: what's that

Carlos: if I wore my leather boots and daisy dukes while I played

Gorilla: fuck man you looked so hot on stage, you were nearly naked

Carlos: I know

Gorilla: you don't know what you do to me

Carlos: yeah but I do

Gorilla: so what do you do to me?

Carlos: Im not tellin it's a secret

Gorilla: my dick is so hard right now

Carlos: send me a pic

Gorilla took a few snaps of his erect dick and sent the best one to Carlos.

Carlos: mmm looks tasty

Gorilla: suck it

Carlos: if u were here I'd swallow it in a heartbeat

Gorilla: dude I need ur mouth on it so bad

Carlos: spit on ur hand and imagine it's me

Gorilla: doesn't work like that

Carlos: what do you mean

Gorilla: well like you ain't here so really all I'm doin' is jerking myself off with my own spit which is what I do most nights already

Carlos: what's wrong with that

Gorilla: shut up for a minute

Carlos: why

Gorilla: cause im gonna cum

Carlos: what u thinkin bout

Gorilla: you playin ur axe and singin about anal lollipops and u prancing around on stage and your sexy fuckin ass

There was a lull in the conversation, but this time, Carlos was unconcerned. He knew what he was about to receive.

Gorilla took a pic of his cock, drenched in cum. He sent it to Carlos.

Carlos: mmmmmmmmmmm cleanup on aisle 4 ... fuck I wish I was the mop

There was a brief pause. Carlos imagined Gorilla cleaning himself up. He wondered whether Gorilla's load would end up in a tissue, or on his tongue. The conversation took a serious turn, one that Carlos didn't anticipate.

Gorilla: I never ever keep numbers in my phone

The conversation immediately turned serious. Carlos wasn't sure why Gorilla made that statement. In Gorilla's mind, he was trying to tell Carlos 'you're not like the other dudes I meet on the road; everyone else is dispensable to me, but you're not'. The words didn't come out right, and Gorilla regretted them as soon as he sent the message.

Carlos: you seem like that kind of guy but obviously you kept mine, so I wonder what does that mean

Gorilla: hmm I don't know

Carlos: come on dude tell me why'd you keep my number

Gorilla: you play metal and you got a hot ass

Carlos: and what else

Gorilla:?

Carlos: is that all I am to you, a dude with a cute ass

Gorilla: what do you mean

Carlos: am i just a hole ... or am i something more

A silence descended. A silence that lasted all night, and all of the next day. Carlos didn't get a response. Once again, Carlos felt like he'd been brushed off. After twenty minutes or so, he mentally shrugged his shoulders, turned off his phone and turned out the light.

*

The sun rose the next morning, and Carlos prepared to head into the office. He checked his phone to see whether he'd had a missed message from Gorilla after last night's conversation hit a brick wall, but there was nothing. He did what he needed to do during the day. The sun arced across the sky and eventually began to set. He logged off and headed home.

Meanwhile, Gorilla visited a warehouse in Miami just after sunrise to collect some pallets of goods bound for Jacksonville. It was a relatively short run for him, only about 5 hours. Gorilla unloaded on time and checked in to his accommodation late in the afternoon. He snatched an hour of sleep before heading out to find something to eat. He found a meal, but there was nothing in Jacksonville's nightlife that connected with him. All he wanted to do was to head back to his room and listen to the next part of the audiobook he was currently into. Maybe he'd watch some porn and jerk off, or maybe he'd message Carlos. He hadn't decided yet.

Gorilla managed to tick off most of these possibilities off his list. He returned to his motel and had something to eat in the café downstairs while listening to his book on his earbuds. After eating, he went up to his room and showered. He watched some porn, and just as he was about to cum, an image of a naked Carlos standing under a hot shower with his wet cheeks spread wide sprang into his consciousness. At the point of climax, the porn Gorilla was watching became superfluous to requirements -- he already had all the mental stimulation he needed. His load was thick and creamy. He tasted some of it before scooping the rest of his semen into a tissue. He balled the tissue up and tossed it away.

Why the hell was he still thinking about this dude in Atlanta? His fingers hovered over the buttons on his phone, but given the abrupt way their text conversation ended last night, he didn't know how Carlos would respond to a message from him right now. What would he say? How would he re-start the conversation? What were his options? First of all, he could lie. He could tell Carlos his phone ran out of battery. Or he could say that he got an urgent incoming call from work that he had to take. Either way, he suspected Carlos wouldn't believe him.

So here he was. He couldn't deny it to himself. Carlos had started to get under his skin, and he didn't know how to deal with it -- not in terms of a conversation with Carlos, or even in terms of a conversation with himself.

"Fuck," he exclaimed. He threw his phone across the motel room, angry at himself.

He sent no messages. He didn't receive any either. He stared at the ceiling for a while. Eventually, he slept.

And in Atlanta, Carlos slept fitfully, thinking Gorilla had moved on. He thought maybe it'd be best if he could move on too.

*

Early next morning, the alarm on Gorilla's phone rang from the opposite side of the room. He got up, retrieved his phone from where he'd thrown it, silenced the alarm, and stretched. He dressed and checked out of his Jacksonville motel. After heading to the designated warehouse and picking up his next consignment, he found himself en route to New Orleans. The drive was eight and a half hours, but the weather was good. There was no wind, and no chance of rain. He settled back at the wheel and listened to his audiobook. Later in the day, he caught up with some international news, and as he rolled across the state line into Louisiana, he cranked some tunes by Ass To Mouth.

Meanwhile, Carlos went to work. Thankfully it was Friday. It'd been the strangest week. This time a week ago, he was preparing to take the stage in Atlanta for the final show of their mini-tour, and the last person he expected to see in the crowd that night was Gorilla. Though there'd been some serious emotional speedbumps to contend with, he'd had an awesome time with Gorilla over the next few days. But after the way their text conversation petered out two nights ago, he presumed he'd heard the last from him. He steeled himself to put the chubby trucker out of his mind. He needed to refocus on the band, and distractions were unwelcome allies. He had band practice straight after work today. It'd be the first time he and his bandmates had played since their last gig, and he was looking forward to it immensely.

They sounded a little rusty at rehearsal, but nobody was too concerned. It felt good to get the week's musical cobwebs out, and they enjoyed the energy that comes from playing loud. Usually, when they were done, they'd stow their gear at the rehearsal room and head to a bar, but tonight Carlos wasn't in the mood. He made his excuses and headed home. He got home and showered, washing and drying his mane of long hair thoroughly, before flipping the TV on and crawling into bed.

His phone registered an incoming text message. It was from Gorilla.

Gorilla: hey man

Carlos sighed. Fuck no. He took his time in responding, and seriously considered ignoring the message or even blocking Gorilla's number. He looked at the digital alarm clock next to his bed. He waited fifteen minutes before replying.

Carlos: hey

Gorilla's response was immediate.

Gorilla: i'm in new orleans

Carlos: ok cool good 2 know

Gorilla: u ever been here b4

Carlos: no is it good

Gorilla: don't know I really only see motels and warehouses

Carlos: life of a trucker huh

Gorilla wasn't sure whether there was something in Carlos's tone that he was misreading or missing. It's so hard to read the subtext when all there is is the text.

Gorilla: what did you get up to today

As soon as he sent the message, he knew how weak it was. He would've been disappointed, but not surprised, to get no response.

Carlos: work then band practice

Gorilla: how did you sound?

Carlos: not great but it was awesome to feel the noise again

Gorilla: did you miss your gtr?

Carlos: yeah felt good to play again

Gorilla: wish I could've seen

Carlos: uhh yeah ... but wtf seriously what are you doing right now dude

Gorilla: what do you mean

Carlos: i don't know what you want

Gorilla:?

Carlos: feels like you're fuckin' playing me dude, why you texting me asking me about my fucking day? you told me you don't keep numbers and you're an independent man of the open road so what fuckin gives right now man

Gorilla: I listened to A2M on my drive today

Carlos: that's not an answer to my question, it's just a deflection

Gorilla: awesome tunes, it reminded me of last weekend

Carlos: omfg fuck this is so exasperating

Gorilla: what do you mean

Carlos: feels like I'm living in a soap opera right now and I haven't got the emotional patience for this so can you please just tell me what the fuck is going on in your head

Gorilla: ummm can I call you instead, might be easier

Carlos: yeah ok

Gorilla dialled Carlos's number. "Hey man."

"Hey," Carlos replied uncertainly. "What's up."

"Thanks for taking my call." Gorilla sounded business-like, but it was probably just because he felt incredibly nervous. His breathing was shallow, and he wasn't sure what he was going to say. The words in his head floated in chaos and he couldn't organise them.

Carlos took the reins, and the disparate words in Gorilla's head faded into the distance. "Can I be honest with you?" he asked.

"Sure."

Carlos took a deep breath. "You told me you don't keep numbers in your phone, and you said you don't want to make or keep attachments because you're always on the road. And that's 100% cool with me. But the fact that you're still messaging me a few days after you left Atlanta is, like, so fucking confusing. It's the opposite of what you'd led me to expect. Every day you were delayed in Atlanta felt like a bonus to me because I was having such a great time with you, but my expectation was that when you eventually left, I probably wouldn't hear from you again. Incidentally, that's why I was so keen to have a goodbye hug with you, not some handshake bullshit, because I really enjoyed our time together, and I thought a hug would've been a nice moment to remember you by. I fucking *loved* lying in bed with you the last night you were in Atlanta. Even though we were watching a horror movie, I felt so comfortable lying next to you, propped up on pillows. And when you put your arm around my naked shoulder, I felt so safe and warm. It was a beautiful moment, I thought. Did you feel that way too? Why did you do that? Why would you have put your arm around my shoulder in the first place if I'm just another notch on your belt? If it was up to me, I would've loved to stay in touch with you and continue where we left off, but you gave me every indication that that's not what you wanted from me. So dude, you can't be messaging me now at the end of a long day and just be like 'how was your day'. Do you understand? We're not at that level."