Dominic's journal, April 29
'*For the love of Jaden*
I'm writing this, solely because I need to express myself. Yes, I know it looks stupid. This is how I manage living on a lie.
But how can I express all the feelings I have for him? All the lust, all the fantasies, the pleas, the demands... We have been together all our lives and we have shared a home, a room, a bed. I have given him myself and he has done the same for me. My brother, my friend, my lover - he is everything I need. We've broken more taboos than I believed we could, and still, we are unpunished. Glad that only the two of us share our secret, I remain wondering where next our lust could lead us.
But I can't expand on that just yet. I know he reads these sometimes, so I won't give out any secrets. Any surprises.
It's obvious that I adore him, but where do I start? Oh, the pressure. But it doesn't have to be perfect. I'll just write what comes to mind.
What I love the most about him? Well... I won't be vulgar this early, nor too explicit (because my hand's already busy), so I'll safely say - his eyes.
A lucky coincidence has given Jade's eyes the lovely exotic color of his name. It is the special mixture of green and a spark of hazel that strikes my arousal perfectly, much like the rest of him. It's such a shame that the same genes left me with some plain run-of-the-mill brown eyes, apparently left over by father. Yes I admit, sometimes I do get jealous of him, but that's understandable. Jaden's the older and the hotter one after all... and the bigger one, though that's debatable.
Clearly, he's the looker in the family, though he constantly assures me I'm not that bad. I'm convinced he only does it to boost my ego, and I do return the favor regardless of how enormous his self-esteem gets. The thing is - he's actually good at most of the things he does, he deserves to get some slack. It does no harm - Jaden is just as loving and protective of me no matter how entitled he feels to my ass.
A random top would never treat me the way he does. I know he'd never hurt me, it never even passes through his mind. There is that perfect trust, that bond, the shared upbringing from the very beginning. With him I can be myself, I can give everything I've got and it will be enough. I can freely beg to be had, to be mercilessly fucked, and he would never take advantage of me, even if he doesn't love me. I can submit, I can be at my lowest, my most exposed state of being and he'll do for me whatever I need to have done. Because lovers or not, we're always going to be there for each other. Nothing can change that, not even separation. We're still brothers.'
"Brothers?" Jaden smirked by my side, peeking on what I typed. "Oh, Nickie, you quit being my brother when we fucked so hot that second night."
"The second?" I smiled as I wondered, "What about the first one?" He caressed my cheek and brushed his forehead into mine.
"Well, for a special guy like you coming once is a disgrace, I had to have you twice!"
"Weren't finished, were you?" I chuckled, "Sure you weren't, you were so fired up you lasted like three minutes in my ass!"
"Best three minutes of my life," Jade took pride. "Best ass I ever had."
"Yeah, right. We were so hot, I lasted only two!" We both submitted to the laughter that was smothering us.
"And you call me premature, fuck you!"
I played along, "Sure, when? Should I bring the paddle and the duct tape?"
"God, you kinky son of a whip!" he smacked my face playfully. "And of all people they named you Dominic. Phah! Go figure."
"Just be glad they didn't name me Angel, you'd be blowing someone else."
"No, I'd be tickling you to death!" he sampled, sneaking in on me, "Imagine all the itchy places a feather can reach..."
"Hey, that's not such a bad idea!"
"Calm down, I don't have time for that when I have you naked all for myself."
"Good point."
"Speaking of which..."
"Is mother gone?" I hoped. "Please tell me her boss didn't cancel the dinner this time."
"No, no, relax. I just came in to tell you. She's gone alright; we have the entire evening to ourselves."
