Despite my solicitor's caution against overconfidence I felt quite relaxed as I walked into court that morning. After all, I knew I was innocent, the victim of a rather crass conspiracy to destroy my career and reputation. At 41 I was seen as one of the coming men in politics -- recently elected Leader of the Opposition, and facing a government exhausted from more than a decade in office, riven by bitter internal splits, bereft of genuine talent, way behind in opinion polls and facing a general election within months at the most.
The charges against me were embezzling party funds to indulge in lucrative insider trading on the stock market. It was obvious that some jealous rival in my own party was involved in the frame-up -- when I found out who I'd nail them to the wall by their balls or tits -- but I reckoned it was inspired by a particular couple of twisted bastards in the government who would stop at nothing to cling onto power. The judge's summing up had been rather biased against me in my opinion, but no jury in their right minds could believe that an upstanding MP like me, with a golden future ahead of me, would be as stupid as the evidence suggested.
I therefore listened in stunned disbelief as his lordship intoned the words "Richard Charles Foster, you have been found guilty of all charges laid against you. I sentence you to three years' imprisonment, in an institution to be determined."
I was in a state of stunned disbelief as, in handcuffs, I was led into a claustrophobic black van, journalists banging on the sides and camera flashes visible through the small windows. Given my status, and the non-violent nature of the offences concerned, I expected to be sent to a low-security open prison. Clearly, though, I was to be made an example of, and my solicitor had told me I was to go to His Majesty's Prison Swanscombe, a medium security jail on the outskirts of London. I was still in shock as I passed through the various stages of admission, the interviews, the instructions, the humiliating strip search and check I had nothing hidden in my anal cavity...After all this I was handed my prison clothing, dressing in jogging bottoms tee shirt, and escorted into a wing of the prison.
As I passed through the prison block, with its smell of sweat, boiled cabbage and disinfectant, I was deeply aware of all eyes, warders and prisoners, turning to me, and some catcalls which I did my best to ignore. I was taken to a sparsely populated mess hall and served a rather tasteless and unappetising meal, then to my cell.
I had visited a few prisons when serving on a Parliamentary committee on penal reform, so I knew pretty much what to expect -- a small room with two beds, a desk supporting a small TV, a flush toilet in an alcove, a washbasin and, of course, a barred window. Laying on one of the beds was a tall, powerfully built white man of around 30, propped up reading a tabloid newspaper the cover of which was emblazoned with my face and the words 'Tricky Dicky'. He raised his eyes long enough to gaze contemptuously at me and muttered in a Manchester accent "No need to ask what you're in here for."
After that my new cell mate pretty much ignored me as I sat and tried to come to terms with the injustice I had suffered. He briefly switches on the TV with its limited channels, but as he tuned to a new channel on which I was the lead story I tried to shut it out. Physically drained and emotionally exhausted by what I had gone through I slept surprisingly soundly that first night.
The next day I began my formal induction to prison life, lectures about rules and regulations, jobs and education opportunities, meeting various department heads (chaplaincy, fitness and so on). I was told that I was to work as a library orderly, one of the cushiest jobs available. I was also told about prison visits -- unlikely in my case as all my former friends seemed to suddenly not want to know me, and my bovine wife, believing the lies about me rather than my own truth, had moved to her mother's home the day I was charged, taking our three-year old son with her.
I'd been told that as a high-profile inmate the warders would 'keep a special eye out' for me, but that didn't prove much help to me as I received a harsh introduction to the realities of prison life. I was browsing the books in the mostly deserted library when I suddenly felt myself grabbed by the shoulder and spun around, before a large fist smashed powerfully into my solar plexus. Stunned and feeling sick I staggered back against a bookshelf as a fellow prisoner jammed his forearm across my throat and, his face inches from mine, growled "I hate you politico ponces. Think you're something special do you?" I looked past him, hoping for help, but as one the few prisoners nearby turned their backs and carried on as if nothing was happening.