"No, I think you should go ahead, take the trip, and do the article on your great-grandfather's winery, Edward. It will probably do you good to get out of New York for a few days."
Dr. Peterson and Edward Cordona had finished with the consultation and had risen from their seats to go to the door of Peterson's consulting room.
"But the hallucinations—what if—?"
"Do as we learned you are able to do. Go limp, your breath imperceptible, as in death. Let your mind float into nothingness. It's a talent you have that you can use to your advantage here. Retreat beyond the world and the hallucination will be starved for attention. The hallucinations should subside over time, Edward. You've been through a rough patch. A change of scenery and a project to work on should help you fully recover."
"You think so?" Edward didn't really want to go to California—to the Napa Valley—to do a "one hundred years later" article for the
Wine Spectator
magazine on a winery that was still going that his father and three other Italians had established there. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, clutching a bottle of Valium and let the world pass him by. That he'd gone through a bad patch was an understatement. There had been Phil, with his partying and the drugs and the alcohol and then hitting bottom when Phil left him and the exchanging of dependence on Phil, drugs, and liquor for dependence on Valium and a dark, isolated room, with vivid visions racing before his eyes. If only the hallucinations weren't so real and blended into reality so seamlessly.
It had, indeed, gotten better since he'd started coming to Dr. Peterson, but Edward was scared. He was scared to leave his apartment and leave New York and fly out to California, even for only a few days. The hallucinations were decreasing, certainly. But wasn't that because he had withdrawn and not taken any chances? That stood to reason. But Dr. Peterson was saying otherwise.
Peterson left him at the door between his consulting room and the waiting room. Three sets of eyes looked up at him from the waiting room. Ever so briefly what his eyes saw were three different breeds of cats—just their heads, the rest of them being in human form and human dress. It was just a fleeting vision, but it was enough to cause him to panic. He turned back to the consulting room, to plead with Dr. Peterson to put him back on Valium. But the door was closed. Dr. Peterson had given him his marching orders; he was definite about weaning Edward off the drugs.
* * * *
The man was strong, holding Edward in his embrace, both of them naked, Edward in the man's lap, facing away from him. Turned and held close as he was, Edward couldn't see the man, but he knew it was Phil. Edward's eyes went to the empty bourbon bottle on the nightstand. Had he drunk all of this? Or most of it? Or any of it? Was Phil, dark, swarthy, hirsute, and overpowering, as high as Edward was, his head swimming and bright, colored lights exploding in his brain. It had to be more than liquor. Phil would have brought drugs too. Edward squirmed around in Phil's lap, knowing Phil's dick was inside him—but Edward couldn't feel anything. He had no sense of touch at all.
A baby cried back in tourist class, and Edward returned to the reality of being on a flight from New York to San Francisco. He momentarily was panicked at the thought that he had had an hallucination, but, no, it was just that he had been sent into a reverie by the droning of the airplane engines and the monotony of the cloud cover viewed from the plane's window. Sessions like that with Phil had been all too real.
It wasn't an hallucination. Those were much wilder than this had been.
As he became fully conscious of his surroundings, he almost wished he were having some sort of dream. Across the aisle from him sat a mother and small girl. For what seemed to be the eightieth time since they had taken off, the mother was reading the passage from the Sleeping Beauty fairy tale in which a witch's curse had sent a princess into a hundred-year's sleep, broken only by a kiss from a prince. It wasn't the repeated reading that irritated Edward as much as a perverted version he had read once in a horror story in which the kiss woke, not a beautiful princess, but the ugly witch who had put the princess into the trance and who, awakened, sliced at the prince's face with sharp claws.
And the mention of a hundred years brought the writing assignment he was flying into to his mind each time it came up again. He was a freelance magazine article writer. He'd written essays for the
Wine Spectator
before, and the editor he worked with there had remembered him mentioning that his great-grandfather, Eduardo, had been one of the founders of the long-established Quattro Amici Winery in Napa Valley, named that because it had been started by four Italian friends. The editor had remembered the winery's founding date, 1916. She'd also remembered that there was a mystery involved with the winery. The four friends hadn't stayed together long in the winery business. Three of them had left in October of 1916. Two had returned to Italy and, she had learned from Edward, his great-grandfather, Eduardo, had left the winery and come back to New York City to open a restaurant.
The editor had thought that an article on the winery upon its hundred-year anniversary, with a hint of the winery's mystery, written by a descendant of one of the founders would make a killer article. Edward hadn't been enthused, but he also was in a fallow work period.
So, here Edward was in a airplane, in a delicate mental state of coming out of a sexual partner breakup and recovering not only from the threat of dependence on alcohol and drugs but also recovering from the cure of the "almost" addictions.