I first saw Lenny at our local YMCA. I don't know what it was but it was just something about him that sparked my interest as he leant over the pool table to score a terrific shot . His colleague was a bad looser, waved his hands in the air, swore and slammed his cue down.
I empathised with Lenny who I knew was a shy boy, he looking a little dejected and I asked I could I play with him. "You will probably lick me easily but I'd like to have a go" I said smiling and shyly he turned and handed the other cue to me which was obviously an 'okay.'
From that point of time I would find out an awful lot about the real Lenny Barker - he was a sweet, sweet guy and , because of the way he was brought up as an adoptive lad he had gone a little on the wayward side, having both been abused as a youngster and mislead later.
And that's why he was attending the YMCA under one of their schemes to help wayward teenagers and I was one of the staff there.
Lenny had just had his nineteenth birthday, was a handsome guy and in my mind had everything going for him. I grew to like him ever so much, not only as a person but sexually too. But no way did I want to take advantage of him, because of his shyness and weaknesses in having been persuaded by the bad guys who got him onto drugs.
I just contented myself that in fact it was nice seeing him attending about three times a week and that way we could spend lots of time talking. I was determined not to spoil this relationship no matter what because of my secret urge to share more than just conversation with this lovely guy.
He was so terribly inhibited and eventually I guess I earned his trust when he told me about having been sexually abused as a kid which instantly shut off any notions I had about having him, even although my arousal was constant just seeing him in those wonderfully fitting tight jeans he wore, he was seriously the best guy I had ever seen in jeans, the fitting everything was perfect and all the time that urge running through my mind which in a way made me quite paranoid, that in no wait must I touch, thinking that would spoil it all. Content, be it very difficult for me, to let it flow and just continue to be happy talking with him.
When eventually we got around to sex I was quite expecting him to freeze - mainly because of the ghastly experiences he had suffered as a youngster which suffice to say are unmentionable here - but at least he was coming out of himself which had to be good for him to rebuild his confidence again, That was a very precious factor so I had to be more careful than ever when we got onto the subject not to press myself on him in any way.
But I needn't have worried. I was so happy when it happened. When he really came out to me with his true sexuality and how he feared his leanings, always having been brought up that such thought were unnatural.
"Well you can rest assured they are definitely not and you know you can share anything with me, Lenny because I do think the world of you."
His eyes met mine in a way that I can't explain, but they expelled warmth and trust and he gradually started to tell me about something that had happened just a year ago for which he felt so absolutely dirty and ashamed.
When he told me I reassured him that it was only curiosity that had led him to it and in fact I had been there too.
"You have, but I would never have imagined. You look to be a straight sort of guy, married and with kids>" Lenny said with a sort of relief in his voice.
"Hey! I'm not that old, just ten year older than you - but yes, I guess you are right, I could have had couple of kids by now but no, I have always been like you. So no worries you see, Lenny - you are with your kin so to speak."
He smiled at me, he was a different guy then, his inhibitions, well with me anyway, had dissolved.
"And if you want to know I didn't enjoy it - meeting that guy , a stranger at that, and spending those brief moments with him in a public toilet."
"Well you could have got done for it, it is a public indecency offence>"
"That too, that's why I stopped short when he wanted to - you know - with me."
"Fuck you?" I asked taking a chance he would not be offended.
"Yes. Pete I think you are such a great guy, with you I can talk about things I have never shared with anyone before and anyway. I was thinking I want to do that with someone I loved, not with any old Tom Dick or Harry"
So from then on I knew he wanted me to say what was in my mind, he almost prompted me too with his enquiring questions as to how was it for me, that time in the toilet.